I Have Shamed Grandfather

Vic shrugged and pleaded, "I understand. I won't bring shame to my teacher, so can you rest for a bit now? "No matter what, you have to at least save enough strength to write a testament. And this testament can't be too short, either. In the beginning, you can reminisce about your life; in the middle, you can offer some suggestions to the Church; but in the conclusion, you have to leave the most prominent spot for me! I believe most people reading your testament will skip the beginning and middle and just read the end. "Also, pure dictation doesn't count. Those big figures have extremely thick skin—they can easily pretend they never heard a thing. Just look at me: how long has it been since my teacher disappeared, and already they dare to treat me like this!" Supported by Alfred, Karen wore a grave expression. Theisen's colossal phantasm began to dissipate. In the end, only an old man was left, walking slowly forward. He was injured and severely drained, yet his complexion had a healthy flush, and his spirits appeared remarkably high. Mavaglio descended beside him and said, "I just contacted the Church through a temporary communication array constructed with the Scythe of War." "Mm, thank you for your trouble, my lord. Your expenditure this time must have been enormous as well; I hope it won't leave any irreparable impact on your future development." Hearing this, Mavaglio smiled bitterly. "I am your direct junior." "Once Lord Marchettini chose you, you were no longer that. Nor am I... worthy anymore." Karen's subordinates bowed together to Theisen: "Greetings, My Lord." "Greetings, My Lord." Karen gently pushed aside Alfred's supporting arm. His body swayed slightly, but he still insisted on bowing: "Greetings, My Lord." Theisen ignored Karen. Of course, he ignored everyone else as well. In his eyes, this entire observation delegation consisted of opportunists. After all, among the members of this delegation, those with influential family backgrounds made up the majority. Outsiders did not know that this observational trip had been spearheaded entirely by Neo and Karen, with the rest merely following orders; they would only assume it was a collective political gamble orchestrated by several families. Theisen walked up to Vic, reached out, and straightened his collar. This gesture startled Vic so much that he raised both hands in surrender: "Are you really about to pass away? Suddenly becoming so gentle and kind is something I really can't get used to." "Your teacher spoke to me about you. He said you were the greatest pride of his life." "Th-This... how embarrassing." Vic let out a long breath, the rims of his eyes reddening. "Sigh, I really didn't expect my teacher to think so highly of me." Theisen continued, "He also said that even if he isn't around, you can still forge your own path." "I will, I definitely will." Vic wiped his tears. "So you have to help me—at least get me on the road first." Theisen said, "I asked him if I should lend you a hand." A look of pleasant surprise appeared on Vic's face. "I knew it! Before my teacher vanished, he must have entrusted me to your care. My wonderful teacher, the person I respect and love most in my life!" "He said there was no need, and told me not to meddle." Vic: "..." "I'm tired. I want to rest for a bit." Theisen turned his head to look at Giragon, the three-headed hound still prostrate on the ground. "Hopefully it won't go berserk again." "You..." Theisen glared at Vic. "I can still hold on for a while. It's not like I'll kick the bucket the moment I fall asleep. I need to wait for the people from the Church to arrive; I still have a few words I want to say to them." Just then, Mavaglio spoke up, "A pirate unit is approaching." Everyone went on alert, preparing for battle. Even Vic produced a metal-bound book that rippled with dense fluctuations of spiritual power. The pirates halted at the perimeter. A carriage drove over, stopping quite a distance away. Millis climbed down from the carriage. He had changed into fresh clothes, his hair still wet. Walking forward leaning on his cane, he cast it aside while still far off, then staggered the rest of the way before falling to his knees with a thud. He had just taken a bath because he knew there would be no time for a funeral; all he could do was tidy himself up so that he could at least depart in a clean state. He reached into his robe, retrieved a scroll, and unrolled it on the ground; written upon it were names. Then, leaning forward until his palms and forehead pressed against the dirt, he spoke: "The current patriarch of the Castle family of Fire Island, Millis Castle, has come to submit to justice." Theisen looked at him impassively, saying nothing. Millis continued, "Do you require a place to rest right now? The Castle family is willing to provide accommodations for you while awaiting the arrival of the forces from the Church of Order. During this period, the Castle family will protect the safety of you and those around you at all costs." "Heh." A dry laugh escaped Theisen. Millis went on, "I have already ordered my trusted subordinates to kill my sons, daughters, grandsons, and granddaughters. My instructions were for them to take poison and commit suicide, so that their bodies may be preserved as intact as possible to be handed over to the Church of Order. "By dawn tomorrow, you should be able to see the corpses of these sinners neatly arranged there. "This is the roster of my family. "As for myself, in order to keep the family in line and safeguard your security, as patriarch I must die a little later. Once the Church of Order's forces arrive on Fire Island, I will immediately commit suicide. "This is the poison I have prepared for myself." Millis placed a small red vial on the ground. Theisen finally asked, "You recognize me?" Millis replied, "I have seen your portrait through other channels before, so I know your identity." Because he knew his identity... Millis understood that there was no way the Church of Order would let this matter rest. This elder's status... touched upon the true face of the Church of Order. Fire Island and the Romaford Pirate Alliance upon it might seem capable of summoning wind and rain in these waters, but compared to the Church of Order, they were merely an ant. The reason this ant had been able to scurry about before, remaining largely fearless even after clashing with the Dark Moon Island fleet backed by Order, was simply that the Church of Order had no reason to go out of its way to crush every ant. Whatever one did, cost-benefit had to be weighed. Yet once this personage appeared, everything changed. Even across thousands of mountains and rivers, the Church of Order would come to crush these "sinners" on Fire Island. Even Samsara, an orthodox church of immense scale, had lasted only a single day under Order's strike before surrendering. What did a band of pirates on Fire Island amount to? With lowered eyelids, Theisen asked, "Do you have any requests?" Millis immediately said in a trembling voice, "I dare not make any demands, nor do I dare make any requests. I only have one matter to report: my sons lacked discipline and fathered several illegitimate children outside. Their names are also written on this roster." Theisen waved a hand dismissively. "An investigation will be conducted. Those confirmed not to bear the Castle surname and never to have enjoyed the privileges of the Castle family will not be counted." Tears of gratitude spilled from Millis's eyes. "I am grateful for your benevolence. Praise be to the great God of Order." *** This was a villa estate on the edge of Fire Island. At this moment, it was heavily guarded, and the Castle family's fleet had sailed close by. Three commanders—one carried down bound in ropes, two walking down on their own—arrived at the estate's courtyard. The mouth of the bound one was pried open to force the poison down his throat, while the other two drank the poison themselves; all three died in the courtyard. Afterward, every hour, men and women were either brought in voluntarily or dragged in by force, committing suicide by poison or being forced to swallow it. Millis stood at the entrance of the courtyard, greeting his family members one by one, his face showing neither grief nor joy. Beneath the villa was an ice cellar. The climate on Fire Island was already hot and humid, and after Giragon's rampage, the temperature was even higher. Thus, the corpses of those who had ended their lives were moved into the ice cellar to keep them from decaying, ensuring they could be delivered to the Church of Order in the best possible state. At a third-floor window, Mavaglio gazed at the scene in the courtyard, somewhat lost in thought. Beside him, Theisen sat in a wheelchair, having just awakened. "This patriarch is rather intriguing," Mavaglio could not help but remark. Theisen replied indifferently, "Accepting defeat when you lose—he merely has a gambler's decency." "I find it somewhat surprising." "Are there no similar scenes in your memories?" "There is no trace of such things in my memories. Perhaps it is because the legacy of Lord Marchettini that I inherited is still too sparse." "Do not rely too heavily on inherited legacies." "Yes." "Though I cannot state these things too clearly." Theisen looked up at Mavaglio. "Still, I can see that the legacy Lord Marchettini bestowed upon you is very clean." "Yes." "Treasure it well." "I understand... Grandfather." Theisen nodded and asked, "When will the people from the Church arrive?" "In three days. The Castle family provided all the materials. I will arrange to spend one day setting up a rudimentary long-distance teleportation array, allowing the Church to first send over a group of array formation masters carrying materials; then, after another two days, we should barely be able to construct an array capable of transporting multiple people back and forth. Although its operational lifespan won't be long, it will suffice for this occasion." "Mm, three days. I can still last until then." "Do you intend to die here?" "What difference does it make where I die?" Theisen spread his hands. "My remains will be sent into the First Knight Order regardless. Sigh, I really feel a bit embarrassed about it. After all, I'm not good at fighting; taking up a spot is equivalent to taking up resources, which makes me feel somewhat guilty." Mavaglio spoke up, "In my memories, Lord Marchettini once designed a war weapon capable of merging into the body. It required someone of considerable strength to wield it and detonate it upon reaching a designated location. I imagine that after all these years, the Church must have improved it significantly." "Oh, that works then. I can still be of some use. My greatest fear is being useless." "Please do not speak like that." "I'm old, truly old. In fact, even without this incident on Fire Island, I wouldn't have had much longer to live anyway." "You have contributed too much of your energy to the Church's development." "And yet in the end, I became a target to be purged and forced to step aside?" Theisen smiled faintly. "The policies and directions I supported and advanced were ultimately overthrown completely, and the path I spent my whole life upholding was rendered entirely meaningless." "Do you hate the High Priest?" "Which one?" "Both." "Rasma and I were always friends. Although there were areas where I disagreed with him, we were able to cooperate. He was willing to listen. I can only say that his ultimate disappearance must have been because he suffered a tremendous blow... or received profound inspiration." "What about High Priest Norton?" "Between the two of us, time will prove who was truly in the right. Looking at it now, I earnestly hope that I am the one who was wrong." "Do you think he will come? To Fire Island?" "He will. He wouldn't want to shoulder the reputation of having hounded me to death. He doesn't want to fight to the death with us so-called... conservatives and fundamentalists. There is no benefit in that for him; it would only worsen the fractures within the Church." "Then will the High Priest arrive with the first batch the day after tomorrow?" "No. He will wait until three days from now, when the array is formally finished, before coming over. Because he knows that I will grit my teeth and hold on until he arrives before breathing my last. "We may have differences regarding the Church's trajectory, but in his heart he knows that I am willing to sacrifice everything for the Church. To bridge the factional divide, I will wait until he reaches my sickbed, cooperating with him to achieve reconciliation." "So exhausting," Mavaglio sighed with emotion. "I can sense that Lord Marchettini must have been utterly averse to such matters." "It is exhausting indeed. Being a crew member is easy; you only need to carry out your duties according to orders. But sometimes, fate pushes you in front of the helm, demanding that you turn the wheel. "When you reach that point, what drives you to place your hands upon it is not a thirst for power, but because you cannot allow yourself to shrink back. *Cough, cough...*" "Please rest a while longer." "No need. In a little while, I will have far too much time to rest." *** Alfred poured a glass of water and set it gently beside the Young Master's bed. After returning, the Young Master lying on the bed had fallen into a semi-comatose state, his forehead now drenched in beads of sweat. The recovery period after severe exhaustion was often the most agonizing; Alfred understood this well. If the Young Master had not gritted his teeth and held on to the bitter end, they never would have lasted until Elder Theisen's rescue. Alfred picked up a wrung-out damp towel and gently wiped the sweat from the Young Master's brow. The Young Master's brows were tightly knit, as though he were trapped in a nightmare, or swept up in a vortex of troubling thoughts. Ever since Elder Theisen appeared, something about the Young Master had shifted. Alfred took out his notebook, wanting to write something down, yet he did not know where to begin. In the end, he could only write: *Perhaps right now, I am just as lost as the Young Master.* *** The vehicle swayed in a steady rhythm. Outside lay the nocturnal streets, carrying a faintly dusty sense of familiarity. Inside the hearse, Karen sat on one side. Alfred was driving, playing music. Across from him, Karen could see a pair of feet. Someone was sitting there, but he did not raise his head to look. He could only turn his gaze toward the driver's seat again and again to relieve the suffocating oppression of this moment. He badly wanted to tell Alfred to change the song; something so upbeat was inappropriate right now. He wanted to say something, to lighten the atmosphere, to break free from this crushing weight. Yet several times the words reached his lips only to remain unsaid, because he felt it was too false an evasion—or perhaps he feared even more that once he spoke those words, there would truly be nothing left to say. Only, when Karen habitually glanced toward the driver's seat once more, he discovered that Alfred was gone. *Gone now... Sigh.* Soon, the music ceased as well. Karen lowered his head heavily and drew a deep breath. From a psychological perspective, this meant his subconscious was preparing to confront it directly, for this was his own dream. Yet he simply could not lift his head. He felt a trace of fear at facing the person sitting across from him. When one felt afraid... it proved that deep within, one already believed oneself to be in the wrong. Excuses, perfunctory rationalizations, self-exonerations—all of them were meaningless now. For deceiving oneself was truly an act of profound foolishness. In the rectangular recess of the hearse before him, corpses began to appear. Karen still remembered them: Mr. Morf, the Chief Editor, Haggett, Oca... That night, Grandfather had taken him along, knocking on doors one by one according to the list. Karen drew another deep breath, broke the silence, and spoke: "I thought that night, you knocked on their doors one by one to make them submit to the punishment of the Code of Order simply because you were powerful enough. For a very, very long time, I believed that only when one's strength and status were great enough could one uphold Order. "So many times, I chose to back down. I chose to wait. I wanted to wait until my strength was sufficient, until my status was high enough. I could silently condone violations of Order happening right before my eyes while continuing to wait at my own pace. "Looking back now, you were clearly so powerful, yet these people..." Karen pointed at the figures lying in the recess. "...in your eyes, were nothing more than mere ants. "And yet, on that night, you were willing to ride in a carriage in person, reading the Code of Order to them one by one, omitting not a single procedural step, skipping not a single soul. "Therefore, that was not an overwhelming crush born of immense power; it was your genuine respect for the Code of Order. Even though you did not believe in the God of Order, even though you were profoundly repulsed by the Church, you still believed in Order, and were willing to uphold Order. "I never understood this. I always thought I understood you well, but I didn't. "I thought I possessed conviction... I thought I was cleverer than everyone else. I believed I had so much in common with the God of Order, so... I naively believed that I was the one in the right, that I could walk slowly, observe slowly, accumulate slowly, wait slowly, handling everything with unhurried composure. "I mock myself for having a flexible moral bottom line, yet time and again I proclaim my faith in Order. "Order does not have to be a straight line, but it is certainly not this pliable, malleable thing I knead and twist at will. "Vicolai—I've long had the power to kill him, yet I let him be, wanting to wait until I could kill him without leaving behind a single complication. "Yet on the other hand, I was willing to take massive risks alongside Neo in this political gamble. "That night we encountered the Lax Bronze Coin, if Neo had ordered me to throw the coin at Gendy's squad, I think I would most likely have complied. After all, he was the captain, and he was very strong at the time. "I clearly knew something might happen on Fire Island, yet I still chose to flee early. I wanted to evade, I wanted to rid myself of trouble, all to clutch at gains that could be cashed in. "Yes, navigating affairs requires adaptability, composure, and acting according to circumstances. But all along, I have merely been comforting myself with these excuses. In truth, my bottom line is even lower than that. "If one lacks the power or means, failing to act is understandable. But having the ability to act while still evading, all while constantly mouthing 'Order', taking notes, and feeling thoroughly pleased with oneself... "That's right. I am an opportunist. "I considered myself smart, considered myself remarkable, when in fact I am simply an intensely hypocritical and selfish person. "When I followed you in mocking the God of Order... "My own actions and choices were perhaps even worse, even more disgraceful than the God of Order's. "At the very least, "The God of Order did not choose to maintain a treaty with the God-Burial Grounds. "What would I have done in his place? "Most likely, weighed the pros and cons? "Heh. "As I am now, how could I possibly be fit to compare with the God of Order? "I tread every step so cautiously, deliberately slowing my pace with each breakthrough to seek the correct path. Yet when my eyes are fixated solely on these things, I have in fact gradually become coated in filth. "Rarely have my inner thoughts aligned with my outward actions. "No matter how lofty one's spiritual or intellectual heights, if one cannot even govern one's own actions and choices, then even a dwarf can look down upon oneself. "If a person like me were to ultimately usurp the position of the God of Order, that would be the greatest tragedy for Order itself!" Having reached this point, Karen finally summoned the courage to raise his head. The seat opposite him was empty. "Sigh..." Karen let out a sigh. Opening his eyes, he saw Alfred standing right beside him with a damp towel in hand. "Young Master, you're awake?" "Those words... he wasn't saying them to Vic." "Young Master, what do you mean? Are you referring to Elder Theisen's words?" "He was speaking to me." "Young Master, do you mean that Elder Theisen knows Lord Diss? Yes, he seemed to mention someone in his words—someone who caused him to give up learning how to fight. "Did he recognize you? "How could that be possible, unless... "He said he had asked whether he should lend a hand, and that person said no. "That person wasn't Rasma—it was Lord Diss? "Right! That day, Lord Diss's avatar traveled to many places through the Church of Order's teleportation arrays. Resolving the patriarch of the Raphael family for Allen Manor was only the first step; the Master must have gone to see other old friends and acquaintances. "So if Lord Diss made a special visit to see him, he must be trustworthy. In that case, him recognizing you... wouldn't be surprising at all." "Alfred..." "Young Master?" "Sigh. I have shamed Grandfather."