Richard's Confession

Fearlessness had never meant the absence of fear; it meant overcoming fear through deepening understanding, time and time again. Karen had already forgotten when he had truly decided to cast aside life and death. When he had first crossed the sea and arrived in Wien, his heart had held disdain for religion—a sentiment that included both his own skepticism and his grandfather's influence in rejecting and criticizing the God of Order. Only when he peeled back the veil of this world step by step, gradually perceiving the true nature of this extraordinary realm, did he look down at his feet—only to discover that beneath them lay the *Light of Order*. Whether he liked it or not, there was no turning back. Even if his heart still harbored objective traits like selfishness, cowardice, and greed, he was already too deep in the act. Having preached too many principles and stirred too much passion, when the critical moment arrived, he was truly too embarrassed to take any of it back. He had no choice but to stake everything; even if it was an abyss, he had to jump in. In truth, during that incident in the contaminated subterranean cave, Karen had already died. Not only had he lost his original body, which had been as richly stocked as a grocery store, but he had also torn away that delicate, though thin, veneer of refined selfishness. Having willingly "died" for his faith once before was both an affirmation of faith and an affirmation of himself. From then on, he was no longer racked by self-doubt. Whenever he invoked the doctrines of Order, he could lecture others with an open, untroubled conscience, and on the battlefield, he could demand that the Order believers under his command likewise die for their faith. Alfred's private notes clearly documented his young master's evolution during that period. Such accounts could never be included in the *New Light of Order*, for in the official history, the young master had to be absolutely omniscient, omnipotent, and utterly great from the very beginning. Yes, indeed. Utterly loyal to Karen, Alfred had begun separating "humanity" from "divinity" in his young master long ago. This was Ah Fu's deepest secret, buried in the depths of his heart, one he would never utter aloud. Because it was taboo. From this act, Alfred derived not only a forbidden pleasure, but witnessing the transformation of his young master's humanity also continually moved and influenced him, driving him toward even greater adoration and loyalty. When the turn of the epoch began, the sacrificial martyrdom of the Order branch gods brought about yet another round of baptism. That the Church of Order, after Norton's departure and during this window of time when Karen had not yet revealed his identity as the new God of Order, still steadfastly adhered to the policy of resisting the return of the gods was precisely one manifestation of this influence. Now, witnessing with his own eyes the First Knight Order fighting deities in such a manner sealed off the very last blind spots in his heart. Death was sometimes not the most terrifying thing. The gangs of Yorktown clashed violently from time to time as well, and plenty of mobsters died horrific deaths on the streets. Yet an unconditional dedication and sacrifice carried out with such pure, untroubled clarity was truly too rare and difficult. This was not an impulse born of boiling blood, nor deception from bewitchment, nor simple-minded ignorance. It was knowing everything—advancing confidently with a smile in their hearts, even while fully understanding what they were dying for. Kevin had once said that after establishing a church, a deity received empowerment, but at the same time, they were also influenced by the church. Karen felt that he, too, had been influenced. The Chains of Order were reciprocal. One end bound the believers; the other end bound the god. Why had the God of Order—once awakened by the Light and hailed as the mightiest war god of their faction, securing ultimate victory in the God War for the Light camp—broken away from them, ultimately walking a bloody path of slaughtering the gods? Perhaps not only was divinity susceptible to contamination, but humanity... could also contaminate. Perhaps the God of Order was the deity most severely contaminated by humanity. Only, He had not resisted it; He had willingly embraced it. Karen continued to gently stroke the dragon horn before him, whispering softly, "Kanna, we've had no way back for a long time." *I dote on you like my own daughter, but that won't stop me from taking you to that final battlefield.* Not only Kanna, but also the large group of people around him. Some were pious Order priests to begin with, while others chose to follow him and swore oaths because of his identity as the God of Order. Though oaths had expiration dates and the motives behind them were not all pure, Karen took every single one of them seriously. Little Kanna stubbornly raised her dragon head once more. "Karen, whatever you do, I will do. Don't forget, we are equals." Down below, this battle—magnificent, tragic, yet remarkably brief—drew to its close. Diknuo was truly worthy of being the god war commander hand-picked by the "Lord" to be awakened early. He had indeed delivered a breathtaking display of battlefield command to the "Lord" who had awakened him. The flying knights who had served as target coordinates, along with the spellcaster and summoner formations, were completely annihilated in the very first wave of strikes. The cavalry executed their commander's orders without a moment's pause. The three black greatswords, once vast and grand as mountain ranges, used the deities as whetstones, constantly wearing themselves down as they repeatedly pierced through the gods. Now, the greatswords grew smaller and thinner. Meanwhile, under the forceful containment of the array masters, the massive battle formation transformed into a mobile, bloody spell array, grinding down deities one after another and terminating their lives completely. In the end, no reinforcements were summoned. Those remaining of the First Knight Order could wait until their next awakening, while the active-duty knight orders standing by on the perimeter, ready to teleport in with reinforcements, once again served as a useless reserve. On the battlefield, a few knights had "survived." Astride their warhorses, heedless of the divine blood thick with contamination clinging to their armor, they trotted slowly across the scarred landscape. There were also shield-bearers, array masters, and personnel from other branches of the formation who had not yet died. In the sky, a scattering of magical beasts continued to fly and circle. Yet they were already very close to death. Not the two and a half days they were supposed to have, but less than an hour. For during the all-out offensive earlier, their bodies had long since endured an unsustainable burden. They had already fallen in battle alongside their comrades; it was just that they were able to stand for a little while longer. *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* Sitting on the ground, the shield-bearers, knights, and array masters exploded one after another—the delayed manifestation of their injuries. The good news was that Diknuo had won; the bad news was that he had played every card currently in his hand. Karen hated to entertain the term "cost-effectiveness" in his mind, but indisputably, Diknuo had maximized it to the absolute limit. Diknuo stood on the command platform, eyes closed, arms hanging loose at his sides, fingers slightly splayed—as if in silent mourning, or perhaps savoring the lingering thrill of his command. For this battle, the Church of Order had not broadcast communication transmissions to the outside world as it usually did. Doing so would disrupt the current situation across the church community; it was better not to let the other churches see so clearly that Order was expending its accumulated foundation so desperately. Even if rumors leaked out, they would at least remain vague. However, the active-duty knight orders had mostly watched the broadcast of the battle at their respective garrisons. If the rank-and-file soldiers had previously grumbled about why they hadn't been sent in this time, then after seeing this gruesome scene, all complaints ceased at once. It was not out of fear, but rather because everyone from top to bottom realized that if this was their inevitable fate and final end—if they were all going to die in battle anyway—bickering over who went first seemed entirely meaningless. Commander Daan rode his Thunderhorn Rhinoceros through the garrison, his voice booming: "You've all seen it clearly! Those seniors have set the example for us. "I believe that for the sake of Order, none of you fear sacrifice either. But when you lay down your lives, I only ask that your steps be firmer, your expressions firmer, your resolve firmer! "In short, the First Knight Order is just one among the sequence of the Twelve Knight Orders of Order. "Don't lose to our comrades!" ... Behind Diknuo, Therion took a deep breath and drew his sword. "What are you doing?" Diknuo asked without turning around. "This battle is over. It's time for me to join them." "You still have time." Diknuo pointed ahead. "Gather up whoever can still move, find the survivors, and either go give inspiring speeches to the active-duty knight orders or write an after-action report for those who come after. All of that is useful. Committing suicide right now—what's the point? Isn't that..." Hesitating briefly, Diknuo voiced his thought after all: "Isn't that just a waste?" Therion sheathed his sword and said, "You are the finest commander I have ever seen." "Thank you. As I've said, I merely prepared thoroughly." "I don't have much time left. But even if I had plenty, if I saw you depicted on a mural in the future, I would never bow to you. I respect you and acknowledge your ability, but I... truly do not like you." Diknuo turned around with a faint smile. "That doesn't matter. God will lead us to the battlefield. Emotionally, God may not feel that way, but in God's heart, His attitude toward me and people like me is, in essence, no different from mine toward all of you." "I don't understand what you mean." "I'm only saying it to you because you don't have much time left." Therion stepped down from the command platform to search for the pitifully few survivors. The bone dragon descended, and Karen's figure touched down upon the command platform. Facing Karen, Diknuo lowered his head slightly, neither claiming credit nor boasting, appearing exceedingly calm. Karen spoke: "You did very well. I have awakened many people, but so far, your role is irreplaceable." Diknuo was slightly surprised; he had not expected to receive praise after all. Yet it also meant matters were developing in the direction he had predicted. Unable to hold back, Diknuo asked, "Are You not grieved, my Lord?" Karen shook his head and answered: "There is no need for grief. After all, it's merely a matter of who goes first." Diknuo nodded. "You are right. Grief is far too great a luxury." Karen sighed and said: "Let such a luxurious indulgence be left for those who survive to the end, and for the generations to come." Karen quickly composed his emotions and asked, "There are eleven batches left. Is that enough?" Diknuo replied, "If the top two levels of the pyramid remain untouched, it likely won't be enough." Karen asked, "How did you know who rests on those two levels?" As for the very top tier, Karen had already seen them. The group resting on the tier just below it was extraordinarily special: the remains of the pinnacle temple elders across past generations of the previous epoch. They had ultimately failed to achieve godhood, making them the truly mightiest beings beneath the gods. This also meant that Awakener priests were capable of waking them. And during this transition between epochs, when everything was being reshuffled, coupled with certain preparations made in advance by the Church of Order, there was a certain probability that a select few among them could gain the qualification to briefly "ascend to godhood." It was much like when the God of Order had possessed Grandfather Dis, forcibly condensing his godhead fragment into a temporarily whole godhead—a pseudo-god, so to speak, and fleeting at that, yet capable of reaching the combat prowess of a deity. Diknuo licked his lips and replied, "To run the simulations properly, I naturally had to find ways to obtain data. Besides, back then, Lord Ranie... Lord Kevin helped me out as well." Karen fell silent for a moment, then said, "The top tier cannot be touched. I do not know if I currently possess the ability to awaken gods; after all, I have not achieved godhood yet. Even if I could awaken Them, I might not be able to command Them, for the battle They wish to fight in is that ultimate war." Diknuo let out a long breath, indicating his understanding. "Then let us leave the layer below untouched as well. The entry requirement for the final war is at least deity status. Saving them until the final moment will still allow them to serve their purpose." Karen asked, "However, the forces here will not be enough to satisfy the requirements of concluding the second-phase god war." Diknuo: "Once the First Knight Order is spent, there are still the elderly priests. The retired knights can also be organized into legions. It's a sacrifice anyway, over in an instant, which minimizes their shortcomings to the greatest extent. "Next are the eleven active-duty knight orders, as well as all the remaining temple elders in the temple aside from those beneath the gravestones... During this period, I will throw in all the regular regiments, militia regiments, and forces from affiliated churches that our church trained on the desert battlefield, utilizing them as cannon fodder." Karen fixed his gaze upon Diknuo. Diknuo seemed completely oblivious and continued, "I will strive to preserve one or two, preferably two or three, relatively intact active-duty knight orders." Karen said, "If we lose, nothing will matter. If we win..." Diknuo drew a deep breath and knelt before Karen: "Young Master, I know what You intend to lead us into. Even if we win, if You are no longer here... shouldn't we leave behind a foundation to protect the Church and seeds for the future of our Church of Order?" Karen reached out, gripped Diknuo's shoulder, and hoisted him back to his feet. "Leave specialized matters to the specialists. Your task is to endure the second-phase god war and ensure not a single deity escapes. As for the rest, you need not concern yourself." "Yes, this subordinate understands." Karen turned around and said, "I am returning to the Holy See to report now." As if gathering his courage once more, Diknuo asked, "Then... have You considered it, my Lord?" Karen looked up to summon Kanna down to fetch him, speaking helplessly with his back to Diknuo: "Do you know? Sometimes, I wish I could be as great as Alfred writes me to be." ... Holding the battle report, Alfred stepped into the lounge. The cigars Kred had smoked filled the ashtray to overflowing, with ashes and stubs scattering across the coffee table as well. Alfred handed over the battle report, offering advice at the same time: "Though you no longer have the chance to condense a godhead fragment, you should still look after your health. You don't want to hasten your decline." Kred chuckled and took the battle report. After scanning it, his smile froze. He had once been the cardinal in charge of warfare, so he understood immediately. From between his teeth, he forced out three words: "It's not enough..." Immediately afterward, his body slid from the sofa to squat beside the coffee table, fingers twitching as he counted and calculated. Alfred stood beside him, watching. The scene looked just like an elderly father scraping together savings and calculating the family's assets to buy a house for his child. As Kred calculated, his eyes grew moist, showing none of the carefree nonchalance he had displayed before the battle when he had waved Alfred off, claiming he only cared to see the results. He opened his mouth and bit down hard on his own wrist, sinking his teeth in so deeply that blood flowed. Even in such a private setting, he still refused to let himself sob aloud. Alfred took out a handkerchief and offered it. Kred let out a long sigh, simply slumping onto the floor with his arms spread wide. Alfred hesitated for a moment. Ultimately, between wiping away tears and snot and bandaging a wrist wound that cut to the bone, he chose to wipe the High Priest's face first. "If all our family assets are poured in, then I... truly will become the last High Priest." Alfred asked, "Shall I arrange for someone to raise the roof of the Administrative Temple tonight?" Kred turned his head to look at Alfred, his expression contorting slightly in bewildered frustration, as if an emotional buildup had been forcefully derailed. Alfred continued, "You should prepare your words in advance, so you don't climb to the very peak only to face an awkward silence." "Pfft... heh heh heh..." Kred let out a long string of self-deprecating chuckles, though he didn't forget to add: "Those, I've had ready for a long time." ... Red Leaf Street. Young Master Aisen had set a record for his longest stay on this street of his. At last, amid the reluctant, fond farewells of the entire street, Richard climbed into the second-hand black Ponce. Behind the wheel was Philomena. Looking out the car window at the aunties and madams still waving at him, Richard couldn't help sighing with emotion: "This truly is a wonderful place." Philomena asked while driving, "Had you never been to a brothel before?" "It's different." Silence fell inside the car. After a long while, Philomena asked, "Where do you want to go?" Richard chuckled. "I thought you were taking me somewhere. So all this time, you were just taking a joyride?" "Mm." "Oh, I see." Richard opened his palm, where Little Jerry began fawningly dancing upon it. "He missed you." Philomena said nothing. Richard continued, "He likes you." Philomena remained silent. "He wants to propose to you." The driver surnamed Felscher stayed silent. "He wants to have children with you—a boy and a girl. He's already picked out names. Do you want to hear them and give some input?" The Kinslayer said nothing still. Just then, Little Jerry, who had been dancing in Richard's palm, stopped and slumped flat against the skin, panting for breath as he rested, thoroughly relieved to have survived. Richard's expression remained unchanged, as did his tone, as he pressed on: "Would you marry him?" Through the rearview mirror, Philomena's gaze fell upon Little Jerry in Richard's palm, who was no longer trembling in fear. She spoke: "If I answer, will you leave his body?" "Of course. And don't worry, he won't know." Little Jerry squirmed a few times in faint distaste, discovering that the palm beneath him had begun to sweat and turned sticky. *Screeech—* The car came to an abrupt halt with a slam of the brakes. Philomena: "Get out." Richard asked, "You haven't answered yet." Philomena pointed outside. Richard turned his head to look and realized he hadn't noticed earlier that they had already arrived right outside his own front door. He could even see his grandmother sitting behind the second-floor window, knitting a sweater. Richard: "Huh? What place is this?" The moment the words left his mouth, Richard regretted it. The Eternal could read his entire memory, so hadn't what he just said completely blown his cover? Philomena replied: "My home."