Looks Like You're Not Good at This

When Texas Tech defeated the University of Pittsburgh 94–78 in California to punch their ticket to the Elite Eight, the entire state of Texas was electrified. As the NCAA Tournament unfolded, TTU stood as the lone remaining team from the state of Texas. With the other Texas programs eliminated one after another, the chorus of support backing TTU grew louder and louder. Reaching the Elite Eight was an unprecedented milestone in Red Raiders history. This roster had surpassed all who came before them, forging a brand-new legacy. Now, they stood just one win away from the East Regional title, one game away from that dreamlike honor: the Final Four. Standing in their path was the program that had once birthed a god. The University of North Carolina Tar Heels. Even setting aside UNC's storied history, this year's Tar Heels marked another peak for the program since their national championship powerhouse in 2005. Their roster was brimming with future NBA talent: Ty Lawson, Wayne Ellington, Tyler Hansbrough, Danny Green, and Brandan Wright. At the same time, North Carolina harbored clear hostility toward TTU. The root of that animosity was Brandan Wright. Regarded as one of the very best high school players in the class of 2006 before entering college, Wright had failed to garner the scouts' unreserved acclaim. Instead, he was looked down on for his lack of basketball intangibles, and his mock draft projections had consistently hovered outside the top five. While Wright's draft stock was slipping, Xu Ling had shot up into the top five like a rocket. Wright had already started talking trash about him back then. According to tallies kept by TTU fans, Wright had publicly voiced contempt for Xu Ling on at least three separate occasions after Xu Ling broke into lottery projections. Xu Ling had never once responded. When Xu Ling led his team past Duke, his reputation reached a crescendo. That only made Wright more furious. Was beating this year's Duke really worth hyping up? North Carolina had manhandled Duke in the ACC all year, and nobody threw them a parade for it. Right around then, TTU fans began sending hate mail to Wright, mocking him as a clown driven by sheer jealousy of Eli. That pushed Wright over the edge. On the day of the regional final leading toward the Final Four, Wright set up a Twitter account and fired off his very first tweet: "TTU fans can get ready to cry. You don't stand a chance. You're a mediocre pile of shit that only made it this far because of an easy bracket. You're the only non-elite team in the Elite Eight, and I'm going to put an end to this farce!" No one knew whether Xu Ling even noticed Wright's bluster, as he had only opened his own Twitter account a few days earlier. He hadn't posted anything yet. Direct messages from fans flooded his inbox like a blizzard. On game day, Xu Ling finally posted his first tweet. Everyone expected a clapback at Wright, but it turned out to be a straightforward disclaimer: "Someone has been impersonating my Twitter account recently to scam people out of money. Please retweet this. This is my only account, and I will never ask fans for money online!" It read almost like a dry joke. Tar Heels fans mocked him in the replies: "Eli Xu is a coward. He doesn't even dare to answer Brandan!" Xu Ling retweeted that reply and paid it no further attention. That afternoon, Texas Tech and North Carolina converged at HP Pavilion at San Jose. Plenty of basketball royalty showed up in the building. Michael Jordan, now a minority owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, arrived in person sporting a Carolina blue T-shirt to cheer on his alma mater. Nearly every NBA franchise gearing up for the draft lottery sent front-office executives, and teams like the Seattle SuperSonics, who placed massive importance on this draft, even had their general manager on site. "Tonight's matchup is without question the most anticipated of the four regional finals!" said ESPN commentator Dan Shulman. "North Carolina is the stronger team, but TTU has far more supporters in their corner!" His longtime partner, Dick Vitale, dished on the off-court drama: "The rivalry between Brandan Wright and Eli Xu is absolute must-see TV! Just think about how resentful Brandan is over Eli's draft position. Maybe tonight we get to see Brandan Wright unleashed!" Texas Tech was the side that took the initiative to shake up their lineup. Bob Knight knew their interior would get battered. The frontcourt tandem of Darryl Dora and John Plefka stood no chance against Brandan Wright and Tyler Hansbrough. The key to victory didn't lie in the paint, so he decided to take a massive gamble. Dora was relegated to the bench, Alan Voskuil was inserted into the starting lineup, and Plefka started at center. This meant TTU was effectively rolling out a four-guard lineup. Defensively, this unit had to rely entirely on a zone and Xu Ling's high-octane energy, but offensively, every single player on the floor could space out and knock down three-pointers. Before tip-off, Knight pulled Xu Ling aside. This freshman was the sole reason he dared to run such a lineup. "You've got a lot on your plate tonight. On top of breaking that son of a bitch, you've got to cover for everyone else on defense. And even after you do both, we still need you running the show on offense." Xu Ling quipped playfully, "Could college Jordan have done that?" "He didn't need to," Knight replied with a self-deprecating chuckle. "His teammates back then were a hell of a lot better than yours." "If I mess up, can that be my excuse?" "Hell no," Knight snapped. "You're the one talking about winning a national championship, so go out there and win it for me! Don't you dare come looking for excuses. Excuses are just mental masturbation for losers!" And that was that. Xu Ling had no room for excuses. Knight had slapped an uncompromising pair of shackles on him. Yet he didn't mind in the slightest, because North Carolina was a team he refused to lose to under any circumstances. The starting fives took the court. TTU's four-guard lineup drew murmurs of astonishment from the crowd. "I never thought Coach Knight would become a kindred spirit of Mike D'Antoni," Vitale joked from the broadcast table. On the floor, North Carolina's starters quickly proved they shared the exact same swagger as Wright. Hansbrough carried the feral intensity of a caveman. Stepping into the center circle for the opening tip, he cast a derisive glare over the TTU lineup. "Brandan was right. You midgets only made it this far because of dumb luck!" The tip-off offered no suspense. Hansbrough tapped the ball back to secure possession for North Carolina. Ty Lawson pushed the pace in a flash, crossing midcourt and feeding Wright right away. Wright hit the gas. Standing nearly seven feet tall, he moved with the fluid grace of a gazelle, blessed with exceptional length and looking every bit the blue-chip prospect with a sky-high ceiling. Lawson's pass was delivered with pinpoint timing. When Wright caught it, he had nothing but open floor ahead. He gathered off the floor, gearing up for an emphatic slam, but Xu Ling flew in from the wing, swatting his right hand firmly across the ball and brutally breaking up the dunk. Wright lost his balance on the landing and crashed to the floor. The referee didn't miss such an obvious foul, blowing the whistle to send Wright to the charity stripe. "Let's see how many fouls you've got to give!" Wright glared viciously at Xu Ling. Xu Ling answered nonchalantly, "Don't worry. I have no intention of wasting any more fouls on you." Wright was never a steady free-throw shooter; he hit the first and missed the second. Xu Ling leapt high to pull down the defensive rebound and fired a quick pass to Martin Zeno. The Tar Heels had already hustled back into transition defense. Because of TTU's four-guard small-ball look, Wright was forced on a switch out to the perimeter to shadow Xu Ling. Xu Ling went into motion. With five players spaced wide around the arc, the open floor allowed him to break free with ease. Wright's defensive reads and footwork were dreadful; the moment Xu Ling caught the pass, Wright was nowhere near him. Xu Ling glanced at the out-of-position Wright, rose straight up into a standstill jumper, and swished it cleanly through the net. "Is that all you've got? Cheap tricks?" Wright barked. Xu Ling didn't even acknowledge him. Back on defense, TTU's zone snapped into formation. Under NCAA rules featuring a shorter three-point line and no defensive three-second violation, a zone defense choked off floor space with suffocating efficiency. Even with North Carolina's towering interior advantage, they couldn't easily manufacture looks around the rim. They tried to initiate from the perimeter, but Wayne Ellington was blanketed by Voskuil. Lawson was caught in a bind: driving inside was futile against a wall of defenders, but pulling up outside? Forcing a contested perimeter jumper in isolation was always a measure of last resort. Lawson raised a hand to call for a pick-and-roll with Wright. Yet even after the screen, Lawson had merely shifted spots on the floor; the paint remained clogged with bodies. Wright took the kick-out pass, and Xu Ling backed completely off, daring him to take the long two. Spurred by anger, Wright rose and let fly. *Clank!* Plefka secured the rebound and instantly fed Xu Ling. Something completely counterintuitive unfolded on the court. It was the Tar Heels who should have been using their raw athleticism to push the tempo off stops, yet they had been sucked entirely into their opponent's transition game. Xu Ling advanced with the ball. Wright chased him down like a man possessed, only to be sent stumbling yards away outside the three-point line by Xu Ling's sudden stop-and-cross hesitation. Looking utterly clumsy, Wright drew mocking laughter from the entire arena. Xu Ling gathered himself into rhythm off the move, collected the ball, rose, and launched a transition three from the top of the key. *Swish!* "Eli is still Eli!" Dan Shulman quipped. "Brandan, on the other hand, is definitely not the Brandan he imagined himself to be." Commentators' jibes rarely rattled players on the floor, who could seldom hear the broadcast booth over the roar of the arena. What truly struck to the bone was trash talk from an opponent. Wright slammed the ball hard against the hardwood, only to hear Xu Ling's voice drift over from nearby: "Turns out, on top of having a few tricks, I'm pretty damn good at getting you wide-open looks. Too bad it looks like you're not even good at handling an open shot." It was impossible for Wright not to boil over. He opened his mouth to fire back, but against cold reality, any retort rang hollow—and what was worse, Xu Ling had already jogged away. On the court, the basketball does the talking.