As the saying goes, grind a sword for ten years, and even if it isn't sharp, it will still shine.
If sixteen years were spent grinding a sword, one ought to have sharpened at least one and a half by now. Yet after grinding for all those years, Haian Auto Works had suddenly taken a shot at everyone from behind. It left people seeing stars, and frankly, it was completely absurd.
Never mind how the car actually was; beneath the wildly abstract content and marketing maneuver, the promotional video went viral across the entire internet in the blink of an eye. Setting aside whether the car was good or not, this stunt was unquestionably Yacheng's ultimate power move.
Comment counts on every platform swiftly broke ten thousand.
"What the hell? Did they give up on car manufacturing and pivot to content creation?"
"Say what you will, the victim is actually pretty handsome."
"*Heavy panting*..."
"Wait, isn't that guy the factory director?!"
"Now I get why the employees were so happy! That was pure, genuine emotion—definitely not acting!"
"Suddenly, I completely understand why you guys went through six factory directors in a dozen-odd years..."
In the end, the barrage of bullet comments blanketing the video shifted entirely into multicolored walls of text: *Sacrifice the director to the heavens, gain boundless power!*
Whether Ji Jue had been sacrificed to the heavens was something Shang Tongwen didn't know, but right now, he was itching to sacrifice Yin Zhaoyang!
Just yesterday, that useless trash had patted his chest and vowed that as long as he was around, Haian would never build anything beyond motorized tricycles, and as long as he drew breath, they wouldn't even dream of returning to the automotive market...
And the result?
How many damn hours had it been?
Haian was already hauling cars out by the truckload, one after another! *You worthless dog, why the hell are you still breathing?!*
Interrogations from the board of directors, demands from the old fogies in the family, the bizarre atmosphere and developments within the Haizhou Military Department, Dongcheng's attitude, Huanyu's dissatisfaction, plus all those competitors who even now were squabbling over every penny and bean...
All these messy troubles piled together, topped off with a "Huanggua" that had sprung out of thin air from nowhere, had left Shang Tongwen utterly beside himself.
After rushing back from the Dongcheng Governor's Manor, he immediately hurried to Echo's workshop without a moment's rest. The instant he laid eyes on that wretched car again, he could barely resist grabbing an axe to hack the damn thing to pieces!
To hell with your Cucumber!
The entire workshop fell silent in unison. Nobody dared to breathe too loudly.
Under the glare of the spotlights, the Huanggua stood out even more conspicuously.
Fairly speaking, its exterior truly wasn't bad.
Two point nine meters long, one point five meters wide, one point six meters tall. That was right—it was a veritable baby bus, a stubby little microcar.
Departing from their usual stingy habits, Haian had at least given the metal chassis a coat of paint this time. It gleamed brilliantly, and paired with the mesmerizingly catchy cucumber logo and fresh, light green color scheme, it actually gave off an endearingly petite, cute vibe.
Yet beyond that...
"This is literally just pouring old wine into a new bottle."
Stripping off the body shell and the layer of plastic trim to look straight at the internal structure, everyone couldn't help but suck in several sharp breaths of cold air.
No wonder it looked so familiar—it was all their goddamn old friends!
Apart from the steering wheel being round and having one extra wheel, how was this any different from their factory's tricycles?!
Look at this chassis, look at this frame, look at the classic three core components inside... Every single part felt like déjà vu, every detail oozing with familiarity.
It was entirely like some cursed abomination born after Huasheng and Doujiao had gotten hammered together one night!
If you lined all three up side by side, you'd worry they might trigger a match-three elimination.
They added a wheel, swapped in a steering wheel, upgraded a few parts, swapped the engine, slapped on a superficial layer of interior bits and bobs, and then, bold as brass, wheeled it out and put it on sale as a car!
The sole highlight was probably the frame, which carried over the terrifyingly rigid fluid-formed steel monocoque first seen on the Huasheng's body.
Its safety was maxed out in every conceivable sense.
*Mom no longer has to worry about me getting isekai'd!*
Yet, beyond that...
"The level of completion is shockingly high."
Someone murmured under their breath.
Although the architecture relied on numerous common, dated market solutions to dodge issues—lacking any standout highlights, completely uninspired, and stitched together at every seam—the stitching was somehow entirely seamless!
Even if they had sacrificed a perfect score due to cost constraints, you somehow couldn't find a single place to deduct points from either.
It was as if correct answers were always uniform, while incorrect choices and failures blossomed unpredictably in places you'd never expect.
Such flaws typically stemmed from a designer's untested flashes of inspiration, snap judgments, 'I reckon,' 'I think'... or even manufacturing blunders, defects, and worker negligence or operational errors.
From steel, rubber, parts, cables, and equipment all the way to a finished car, the areas requiring attention and substantial time to gradually refine were practically countless.
God only knew which assembly step or design choice might trigger what consequence.
Without massive amounts of testing and experience, who could guess that a valve cover gasket's material swelling under heat would be the culprit behind engine oil leaks? Without enough crash tests, who could predict that bumper placement would cause a rear-end collision to breach the fuel tank?
From the cabin air filter to the door lock cylinders, the thrust bearing design, and even the inlet and outlet ports of the door wiring harness... there were far too many landmines to dodge, and countless places ripe for disaster!
Yet on this Huanggua, one simply couldn't find the kinds of glaring flaws and oversights that experienced factory designers could spot at a glance. Even if numerous details weren't flawless, there were no obvious errors or critical defects to be found.
It was far too mature.
It was so mature that it didn't look in the slightest like a rusty old factory like Haian, which had been shut down and out of touch with the market for over a decade. The entire model felt like a finished product built after undergoing rounds of testing and iterations on preceding models, having accumulated plenty of experience and technology before hitting the production line.
It was just like walking into a bathhouse massage parlor, where a razor-chinned, plastic-nosed mature hostess drenched in heavy makeup and radiating sultry expertise leans against your chest and coos, "Big bro, this is my first time doing this sort of work; my family doesn't know."
Who in their right mind would believe that?!
Especially the engine...
Whew, people were almost tempted to address it as their elder uncle!
What era was this? It was still using the design from Haian's old knockoff minivan from over ten years ago, with nothing more than the tiniest tweak on top of the original foundation.
It was supposed to be the most trivial component. Yet when the testing department handed over the fuel consumption ratio per hundred kilometers under full load, everyone's expressions twitched uncontrollably.
It was like seeing a thirty-year-old geezer barge onto the track of a World Games sprint, react to the starting pistol, and run top three among a pack of teenagers.
What kind of black magic was this?!
A modified low-end generic design had actually matched the fuel consumption of the latest engine solutions on the market? With this kind of technical capability, you're telling me you're a mothballed old factory? What does that make the rest of us? Little Sheep scooter manufacturers?!
After repeated tests, everyone's gaze settled on the fuel injector mounted on the intake manifold, their breathing growing ragged.
It was like the single defining brushstroke on a drab old painting, miraculously turning decay into wonder!
"We just received word. A few hours ago, the day before the Huanggua hit the market, someone at the Patent Bureau in Heicheng, Huangzhou, registered an improved design patent for phlogiston atomization in this engine's fuel injectors," a hurried assistant reported in a low voice. "The patent holder is a tricycle manufacturing plant previously acquired by Haian..."
Shang Tongwen's face turned livid. He waved his hand dismissively and forced a cold sneer through his teeth.
By this point, even the slowest person would have figured it out.
"What a brilliant feint to cross the sea in plain sight."
From the very beginning, the so-called Doujiao and Huasheng, that posture and appearance of devoting themselves entirely to motorized tricycles, had all been a smokescreen intentionally released by Haian.
All their maneuvers and exploration, even the frantic production and sales, had been field tests conducted entirely for the design and production of this new car.
All the manufacturing processes, design issues, and defects had been explored and resolved in the previous batches and production runs. Everything was already prepared.
All the buyers across the entirety of Haizhou had unknowingly served as free road-testers for Haian Auto Works for two whole months...
Over the past two months, Haian had sold tens of thousands of motorized tricycles across every corner of Haizhou and beyond at outrageously low prices. They had even offered maintenance services with zero profit margin like doting fathers, shouldering massive losses simply to continuously collect condition reports from every single tricycle, secretly revising the Huanggua's design in the dark.
Right until every process flowed smoothly, and every potential problem area had been patched and reinforced... When everything was ready, they stormed straight out of the niche motorized tricycle lane overnight and charged back into the quagmire of automotive manufacturing!
"There's an even worse problem—"
After reviewing all the test reports, the technical director sighed and pointed at the Huanggua. "This thing is, at most, an upgraded version of that lightweight Huasheng tricycle from earlier."
In other words...
There was at least an upgraded, cargo-hauling version based on the Doujiao waiting for them down the line!
For all they knew, they were just waiting for new production lines to arrive right now!
"I understand."
Shang Tongwen remained expressionless, merely waving his hand. "Get marketing and PR moving. I shouldn't need to teach you what to do, right?"
His subordinate nodded like a pecking chick.
Shang Tongwen gave a slight nod and turned to leave. Only when he reached the doorway did he look back at his assistant. "Also, tell that useless Yin Zhaoyang that his chances are running out."
Staring into those eyes laced with faint chill, the assistant shivered involuntarily and nodded in compliance.
Engaging in border skirmishes and playing the margins earlier was one thing. Everyone could tolerate you scraping up some side money. But not only did you want to scrape side money, you also wanted to flip the table and take a seat at the banquet...
Then prepare to be targeted to death by everyone!!
*The Huanggua: An Utter and Complete Disaster*
*What Happens When You Hand a Factory to a Fool*
*Recounting Haian: A Trail of Misdeeds Behind the Grand Facade*
*When We Talk About Cars, What Are We Talking About?*
*Manufacturers and Customers: Who Exactly Is the Cucumber Being Sliced?*
*For forty-one thousand yuan, what you get is a pile of scrap that even junkyards wouldn't bother recycling... Through the Huanggua, the designers at Haian Auto Works have shown us that the ultimate endpoint for micro vehicles is an iron coffin... Behind the pandering gimmick lies a configuration impoverished to the extreme... You can fully experience on this vehicle the standard expected of a thirty-six-hundred-yuan tricycle... As everyone can see, the cabin is even leaking wind...*
On the very day the Huanggua hit the market, before the hype of the promotional video had even cooled, massive waves of reviews and analyses flooded various self-media outlets, news websites, and video platforms.
Naturally, the negative reviews arrived like a tidal wave!
Language was an art form. It could craft the peerless miracle of the Golf, and it could elevate mediocre contraptions onto a pedestal.
Likewise, it could trample something into the mud and kick it straight into the abyss.
Even telling only the truth could achieve the desired effect. What was more, why would they need to tell the whole truth?
Up to this point, Haian hadn't even sold several dozen cars, yet countless scathing reviews had already erupted. Under the spin of long essays and comedic skits, the Huanggua and Haian Auto Works rapidly became the newest laughingstocks and clowns.
Not only that, when numerous conglomerates began flexing their muscles together, the channels and power they could muster were by no means confined to the internet.
When distribution channels truly exerted their pressure, Haian Auto Works' new Huanggua couldn't even reach the customers' eyes.
Apart from a handful of dedicated Haian storefronts, the Huanggua was nowhere to be found in vehicle dealerships across Haizhou. Even where it existed, it was shoved into remote corners, and the sales clerks only introduced it with sluggish disinterest.
At the same time, over four automakers on the market abruptly announced massive price cuts or festive discounts for similar models in their lineups...
Pervasive targeting and blockades were deployed without the slightest pretense, laid bare right in the open.
*If you can actually sell these, I'll eat my hat!*
When the sales figures for the first three days landed on Ji Jue's desk, Yan Jian's face turned completely gray.
A little over two hundred units sold in total...
More than half of those were likely bought by competitors for testing, or scooped up by paid content creators as fodder for their articles.
"Everyone is slashing prices now. Jianlu's mini model has dropped all the way to twenty-six thousand... How the hell can a piece of dogshit like that sell over ten thousand units a month? I am truly ■■■ing ■■■!!!"
Yan Jian cursed ceaselessly, finally tasting the despair the small tricycle workshops had felt when crushed by sheer scale and price wars. "If this keeps up, we won't be able to sell a single one."
Yet even now, the production targets Ji Jue had set hadn't paused for a second. The entire Haian factory was still working round-the-clock three shifts, churning out Huangguas in an endless stream. Warehouses were piled high as mountains, yet not a single car was moving.
"Isn't this completely normal?"
Ji Jue calmly munched on potato chips filched from his assistant. "Standard commercial targeting, that's all. What's the big deal? If anything, the fact that they've only mobilized their channels to bottle us up so far is gentle enough to make one thank the heavens.
"I honestly thought they'd at least treat us to some mail bombs or suicide bombers... Relax, Engineer Yan. Things aren't that bad."
"This isn't bad?!"
Yan Jian glared upward, fuming. "We can't even sell the cars! What kind of auto plant are we running!"
"Didn't the others drop their prices?"
Ji Jue shrugged. "Can't we just lower ours too?"
Hearing that, Yan Jian's vision blackened repeatedly. He was so infuriated that he couldn't even force out a laugh.
He nearly stopped breathing entirely.
"Lower the price? Lower it by how much?!"
Yan Jian demanded, "Forty-one thousand was already the bare limit to break even! Factor in labor and channel distribution fees, and we're taking a pure loss. Every car built is a loss; every car sold loses three thousand!
"How much can you lower it?
"Have you run the numbers? Even if you slash it, how many can you sell?
"If you drop it now, what about the future? Dropping prices is easy, but raising them back up is pure fantasy. If you built this factory to run a charity, just pretend I never said anything!"
"To be completely honest, I really do want to do more charity, though it might not be quite what you have in mind."
Ji Jue shook his head, unbothered by his subordinate blowing his top, and turned to Ye Chun. "Did City Hall give their response yet?
"If they don't even want to stake this little capital, we might as well pack up and head home."
Ye Chun shrugged. "The Governor's stance is that if we can lose a bit less, we should try to lose less. But Warden Lyu said the idea is solid and left it entirely up to you."
"Then it's time to work our magic!"
Ji Jue slapped the desk and stood up without a shred of hesitation.
Warden Lyu had given his blessing; who gave a damn about Xu Chaoxian!
"Get some good rest over the next couple of days, and then prepare for overtime, Engineer Yan."
Ji Jue looked back, offering Yan Jian a genial smile that sent chills down the engineer's spine. "Things are about to get very busy around here."
The next day, sales remained as dismal as ever, showing no improvement whatsoever.
The third day and fourth day were exactly the same, devoid of change.
Until the fifth day, Haian Auto Works—having ramped up production madly and completely maxed out their stockpiles—updated their official website once again, launching a synchronized promotion across all their directly managed retail outlets.
[Fourteen Years of Gratitude, Giving Back to Millions of Homes]
[Haian Auto's Trade-In Discount Promotion Officially Begins!]
"A trade-in?"
Upon receiving the news, Yin Zhaoyang was completely baffled, almost laughing aloud. "Where would they get old... old..."
Before he could finish his sentence, the words caught in his throat.
His entire body felt plunged into an ice cellar.
Unable to hold it in any longer, he let out a shrill, furious screech.
"Ji, you bastard—!"
And so, starting on the sixth day, the entirety of Yacheng began to feel very, very wrong!
Chapter 330