Tang Qian let out a helpless sigh, rolled his eyes, and squatted in the bathroom to smoke a cigarette. As the wisp of smoke drifted up and the ember flickered, the tattoos and bulging muscles across his body vanished at astonishing speed, like shrinking fabric.
The physical shift was merely superficial.
What truly turned upside down was his entire soul. His matrix, blessings, and the myriad combat skills forged through the Swarm—muscle memory and even base instincts—all dissolved and disappeared alongside the burning wisp of flame.
A Heritage Offering!
As a Celestial Chosen, everything Tang Qian possessed had been wholly surrendered to his Sacrificial Lord. He was transformed, thoroughly and completely, into an ordinary man found anywhere on the street.
The only difference was that when others made sacrifices to a Sacrificial Lord, it was like throwing meat buns to a dog—guaranteed never to come back. Tang Qian, on the other hand, was dealing with his own damn relatives!
It was practically as practiced and natural as a scumbag transferring assets during a divorce.
He had pulled this trick so many times that it was executed with seamless grace.
It didn't even stop at things like matrices and blessings. Wiping a hand across his face, he sacrificed the muscle over his cheekbones, his full beard, and even the signature scars and sunspots.
The moment his palm dropped, the middle-aged man in the restroom had become someone entirely unrecognizable from his former self.
Tang Qian still wasn't satisfied. He patted his chest, sacrificing half his remaining lifespan, then grabbed his hair, transferring away a great clump until his messy mop turned into a neat buzz cut.
It was virtually a total remaking. He had transformed completely into someone else.
Across the entire world, probably only someone backed by ancestral spirits could exploit a Heritage Offering to such an extent.
"Done, Boss," he said, tilting his head toward his headset. "Where's the job?"
"Coming right up."
Before the words had even faded, the phone he had just acquired buzzed. A new work order popped up in the app: Electrical Malfunction, Emergency Repair.
Immediately following it was single-use access clearance to the inner non-commissioned officers' dormitories, valid for one hour.
Attached as well was client data that, under normal circumstances, could never possibly be included.
Most striking was the dazzling photo at the very top. A face of familiar beauty left Old Tom staring in disbelief for a long while.
"Access clearance has already been logged and approved," Ji Jue's voice rang out, guiding him persuasively. "Once you're inside, just put on a show. Unscrew a socket, plant a camera, and you're done.
"Who knows? Maybe the lady will see all those rock-hard muscles of yours and want to strike up an exciting, beyond-friendly relationship with you..."
"Holy crap, that's way too shady, bro."
Old Tom grew nervous. "I'm not gonna get hauled off and shot on the spot as a peeping tom the second I step in, am I? Are you sure there won't be any problems?"
Ji Jue couldn't help sighing. "Relax. She called for repairs herself. She won't be able to welcome you fast enough."
"???"
Tang Qian was dumbfounded. "How did you pull that off? Is alchemy really that broken? An electrical circuit just dies on command?"
"No, you don't need alchemy for that," Ji Jue answered placidly. "I just dispatched another work order. While a guy was fixing the power meters, I had him flip her breaker."
"..."
High-tier plays were just that simple and unpretentious.
Tang Qian was speechless.
What else could he say?
He slung the toolbox over his shoulder, clocked in, and reported for duty!
Ignoring the nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right, he enjoyed a continuous green light. Without a single hitch, everything proceeded with unbelievable smoothness.
After a quick scan of his work badge under the watchful eyes of the guards, the newly minted plumber Tang Qian breezed through security gates and verifications without a hitch, strolling into the NCO dorms and arriving right before his target's door.
It was almost hard to believe.
He had just walked right in?
One could only say that after spending so long living as a despised sixth-class bottom-feeder, experiencing the privileges of a third-class citizen nearly brought tears to his eyes.
He hesitated for a second and raised his hand. Before he could even knock, the door opened before him.
Revealed inside was a lovely, alluring face, and a pair of large, expressive eyes that appraised him from head to toe.
"Are you here for the repairs?"
"Uh, ah, hello, yes... That's right, repairs. At your service, ma'am."
Tang Qian offered a somewhat stiff salute, drawing a dazzling smile from the waiting woman. She pulled the door wide. "Please, come in."
With the air conditioning shut off, the temperature in the room had gradually climbed. Under the scorching heat of the Mid-Continent, even in just a tank top and shorts, Lieutenant Colonel Erica was already covered in a light sheen of sweat, smelling fragrant and enticing.
"I don't know why the power cut out all of a sudden."
She took the initiative to pour a glass of cold water from the pitcher in the fridge and offered it to him. Courteous and thoughtful, she showed exquisite manners, entirely free of the nose-in-the-air arrogance typical of her colleagues. Her smile was disarming. "Sorry for the trouble. I'm in a rush to head out, so please make it quick."
"Huh? Oh, sure, sure."
Old Tom couldn't help glancing around, suppressing the urge to take a deep, epic breath through his lungs, feeling distinctly out of his element.
It wasn't that he had never seen women before; it was simply that he had never done high-end espionage work like this. His limbs grew stiff and awkward.
Just as most people would under the circumstances.
Completely natural.
After asking where the distribution board was, he began putting on a show of working on it. In truth, he had no idea what he was actually doing. All he could hear behind him was Erica speaking on the phone, chatting about something with her family.
Great chance!
While she wasn't paying attention, hurry up, dismantle a socket, plant a camera, and call it a day.
His hand reached into the toolbox, and then—froze in place.
A cold sweat began to break out.
Huh? Something's not right!
Told me to plant a camera, but where the hell is the camera?!
That bastard Ji didn't give me one at all!
All he gave me was a crappy lighter, and that's still sitting in my pocket.
Tang Qian was utterly bewildered. Instinctively, he fished out his phone to contact Ji Jue, but for some reason, the moment he stepped inside, Ji Jue had gone completely silent—messages marked as read, no reply.
As a result, staring at the distribution box he had dismantled into a total mess, he realized he had no idea how to put the damn thing back together.
Holy shit, something's gone wrong!
He scratched his head, brain freezing up, completely failing to notice the occasional glances cast from behind him, in which a faint flicker of suspicion had begun to surface.
Tang Qian spent ages fretting, unable to fathom what Ji Jue was trying to pull. Just as he was about to make an excuse to slip away, he turned around—and froze on the spot, his hair standing on end.
A lovely face had appeared right behind him at some point.
Mere inches away.
Quietly watching him, as if out of sheer curiosity.
"What are you doing?"
"Huh?"
Tang Qian hesitated, then cracked a grin. "Checking for, uh, electrical hazards... Ahem, electrical hazards! I don't think there's any problem with the room's wiring; it's probably an issue with the main breaker outside."
As he spoke, he picked up the toolbox, not giving a damn about anything else. Time to bolt.
"I'll go downstairs and take a look. Be right back."
"Is that so?"
Erica seemed to understand, pretending she smelled no hint of a lie. Yet she didn't step aside. Instead, she reached out and slowly closed the half-open door.
*Click.*
A soft snap.
Tang Qian froze solid.
Then, he felt a slender finger press gently against his chest.
Amidst an intoxicating wave of fragrance, Erica leaned close with a faint, knowing smile. "You know what? Suddenly, I don't feel like the power outage is in that much of a rush... Don't you feel it's a little hot in here?"
"Ahem, yeah, it really is a bit..."
Tang Qian tried his best to shuffle back half a step. "How about I go—"
"Your muscles are so well-defined. Not an ounce of belly fat at all."
That slender finger trailed down his pectorals, winding downward, circling lightly over his navel, sending faint, tingling shivers through him.
A soft body had pressed up against him before he realized it. Those large, expressive eyes fluttered as she gazed at him. "Do you work out specifically? You're completely different from other maintenance workers..."
"Fitness... Yeah, I make a habit of working out."
Tang Qian's face twitched. Fighting the urge to flush red, playing hard to get, he mumbled, "Ma'am, please don't be like this. I'm not that kind of guy."
"Relax, don't be nervous," Erica whispered softly. Her cool, slender fingers caressed the stubble on his chin, drifting over every inch, her breath soft against his ear. "I just want you to do me a favor. You won't refuse me, will you?"
Wait, hadn't he seen this exact plot somewhere before?
This was too classic!
A handyman and a female client, a tear-jerking, epic, twist-filled pure love story, packed with legendary lines and tropes... He remembered it now; he remembered it all!
Wait, no! Would a dog like Ji Jue ever be kind enough to dish out this much fan service?!
Could an 'exciting, beyond-friendly relationship' really exist?!
Tang Qian hesitated, half-yielding and half-resisting, caught in agonizing inner turmoil.
Should I enjoy myself first, enjoy myself first, or enjoy myself first...?
What a brutal dilemma!
In his hesitation, he felt the breath inches away growing heavier, then raspy, then harsher, then violently ragged...
Until the sweet perfume could no longer mask the stench of rot and decay, and a foul, pungent gust erupted from a gaping, nightmare-wide maw that had split open before his face.
"Huh?"
Tang Qian couldn't help opening his eyes. "Holy sh—"
All he saw were sharp tufts of black fur sprouting across that lovely visage. Alongside the snapping crackle of morphing bones, one half of her body remained gorgeous and pitifully delicate, while the other half sprouted thick, bristling fur, swelling and proliferating to an unbelievable degree like an inflating balloon.
The instant she turned her head, all charm and glamour vanished. There was only a gaping, hideous maw peeling wide, lunging forward.
It swallowed his head whole.
*Crunch!*
Dagger-like teeth ground together, snapping his neck clean through. Tearing upward, without even bothering to chew, it gulped him down—flesh, skin, and bone—into its gut.
Immediately after, it pounced on the headless torso, sucking greedily, refusing to waste a single drop.
It was eager to crack the bones and suck the marrow dry.
Across that mutated face, six ravenous eyes rolled in their sockets, scanning left and right, vigilant against the slightest disturbance...
The moment it sensed something amiss, the suspicious wolf had decisively bared its fangs at the dazed maintenance worker!
Merciless, savage, and without a shred of reason.
It had been so long since it tasted meat like this—lust-blinded and delivering itself right to the doorstep!
It didn't matter who the fool was. Once he was digested in its belly, everything would be clear. At worst, it could just shed another layer of skin and make the victim disappear.
In the Mid-Continent, this kind of thing was all too common.
The rapidly swelling, aberrant beast spread its arms as though embracing him, razor-sharp claws cradling the headless carcass as it chewed with relish.
Savoring the long-lost, sweet, scalding flow streaming down its throat and pooling in its stomach, it was sheer, unadulterated bliss!
So delectable!
Yet, gradually, it noticed that something felt wrong.
Why was this blood... getting spicier and spicier?!
*Boom!*
Before it could even react, a muffled blast echoed.
In the pocket of the mangled corpse, the lighter abruptly ruptured. Then, beneath layers of disguised spiritus circuits, what leaked out wasn't liquefied gas, but a rapidly expanding, brilliant silvery-white.
In an instant, it ballooned.
Three Phases in flux—surging from dormancy to activation, churning mercury vapor spread through the enclosed room like a living creature, blanketing every square inch of space.
Solid Alchemy—locking inside and out, severing every trace of spiritus fluctuations!
Simultaneously, it delivered the client's latest order:
"Strike!"
At that moment, the wolf-beast, its throat burning like fire from the 'spice', could no longer hold back a roar. It opened its mouth and literally spewed flame.
A ferocious blood-fire surged like a tidal torrent, sticky as thick napalm, entwining itself relentlessly around the beast's esophagus and intestines, erupting from the inside out.
Just like an incendiary bomb.
*Clap!*
Between the beast's claws, the limp fingers of the headless torso suddenly clenched tight. Reaching out of thin air, straight out of his fourth-dimensional asshole, he wrenched forth a halberd and thrust it straight down that gaping maw!
As the offering was returned, flesh and bone rapidly regenerated from within what had been an empty husk of meat, resolving into a furious face streaming tears of blood that bellowed in raw accusation:
"You absolute animal! Is *this* the 'beyond-friendly relationship' you promised?!"
Chapter 591