Gold-Medal Assassins

On the outskirts of the city, inside an abandoned factory. A crunching rustle echoed through the barren woods as dry, withered leaves were crushed beneath heavy strides, and two towering figures emerged through the trees. It was none other than the suited Huang Dahu and his pitch-black younger brother, Hei Xiaozai. A tall jeep was parked outside the factory gate. Leaning against it was the dreadlocked lion from the Demon Club, clad in a leather jacket and puffing on a thick cigar. “Sorry, we're a few minutes late,” Huang Dahu called out in greeting as he walked up. “We had to cross the railroad tracks, and a train went by, so we took cover for a bit.” “No problem.” The dreadlocked lion smiled. “I just got here myself. Barely lit this up before you arrived.” “Where are the assassins?” Huang Dahu asked. “Inside.” Taking a massive drag, the dreadlocked lion smoked the entire length of the cigar down until the embers suddenly flared right against his fingers. His eyes squeezed shut, and his head jerked back as though his soul were leaving his body before he exhaled a colossal cloud of smoke. Only then did he slowly open his eyes. “Follow me.” Huang Dahu turned to his brother. “Don't copy that. Smoke like that and three cigars will give you lung cancer.” “Can't help it. Those two brothers inside can't handle any agitation,” the dreadlocked lion said with a touch of helplessness. “The moment they see sparks, they fly into a rage.” Passing through the factory gates brought them into a cavernous workshop cluttered with broken-down machinery. Seeing no one there, the dreadlocked lion led them up to the second floor. “With tempers like that, are they reliable?” Huang Dahu frowned. “All I can tell you is that these two brothers are the strongest gold-medal assassins I can get in touch with right now,” the dreadlocked lion said. “Back when they were in the wasteland zone, the two of them teamed up to kill a Gang Realm cultivator! Ever since they came into the city, they haven't failed a single mission. Every target gets cleaned up without a trace. The only slight drawback is, well…” “What?” Huang Dahu asked. “Sometimes they kill the employer too.” The dreadlocked lion finished speaking, then hurriedly added, “Actually, they're just quick to take offense. As long as you don't provoke them, you'll be fine.” As they spoke, he pushed open the heavy doors to the second-floor factory floor. At once, the tiger demon brothers caught sight of another pair of demon brothers inside. Standing upright, they were over two meters tall—demons half-taking form, covered in brownish-tan fur and boasting wildly bulging muscles. Compared to their broad, hulking frames, their heads were comically small. Their facial features resembled a cross between a rat and a deer, and their large, dark eyes stared ahead with utterly blank expressions. Both demons wore ill-fitting coverall jumpsuits—one in denim blue, the other in camouflage green. The one in camo even wore a crooked cap. Taken as a whole, they looked… thoroughly lacking in intellect. Huang Dahu looked at them and asked, “Deer?” Behind him, the black tiger ventured his own guess: “Kangaroo?” The demon in camo green ambled sluggishly over to the black tiger, suddenly raised an arm, and brought a claw hammer swinging violently down onto the black tiger's head. *CLANG!* The blow landed with devastating force and blistering speed. Had it struck a human, their head would have burst like a melon. Fortunately, the black tiger possessed a sturdy physique. He was merely knocked to the ground, howling in agony, “*Roar!*” “What are you doing?” Huang Dahu immediately dropped into a fighting stance, shouting in fury, “You trying to double-cross us?” The denim-clad figure opposite him pulled out a tool of his own—a massive wrench spattered with paint—and assumed a combat stance. “Calm down!” The dreadlocked lion hurriedly shoved the two demons back, then turned to Huang Dahu. “Watch your mouths, both of you! I already told you they're quick to anger!” “What did I even say?” Huang Dahu helped his brother up, asking angrily. “You…” the camo-clad demon stammered. “You're the rat! We are… noble roe deer!” “Right, right, I know,” the dreadlocked lion said soothingly. “These two brothers are roe deer demons, born in the wasteland zone without names. You can just call them Da Pao and Er Pao.” Most demons in the wasteland zone grew up wild. Even after developing spiritual awareness, they had little concept of naming themselves. A lineage like the Tiger Head Gang, which could name its members after colors and birth orders to produce names like Huang Dahu and Hei Xiaozai, was practically an intellectual elite family in the wasteland zone. Roughly equivalent to human PhDs. “Kangaroos… aren't rats. Besides, what's so… noble about being a roe deer?” Holding his bloody head, the black tiger gritted his teeth and stood up. He had never been fluent in human speech and usually only managed a few words at a time, but this hammer strike had forced him into a full sentence. The denim-clad Da Pao was relatively more composed. Putting away his wrench, he said, “My younger brother isn't too bright upstairs. Don't take it to heart. Back when we were in the wasteland zone, other demons always looked down on us because we were roe deer, so it left a bit of a sore spot.” “Roe deer managing to cultivate to their level of power is something I've never seen before in my life either,” the dreadlocked lion chimed in with a grin once the tension eased. “These two have tempered their physical bodies to near-invulnerability, practically diamond-hard. And they have an ultimate headbutt technique that crushes gods and Buddhas alike.” “As long as they can fight.” Huang Dahu kept a stern face. “So long as they can kill my enemy, I can overlook what just happened.” “We've never bungled an assassination,” Da Pao said coldly. “We only ever kill more, never less.” “No need to kill more,” Huang Dahu replied. “You understand my requirements, right? During the operation, you must follow my commands. The target is no fool. If you slip up even a little, he'll definitely contact the Supernatural Management Bureau—” Before he could finish, the camo-clad Er Pao ambled sluggishly right up to Huang Dahu and suddenly raised his arm. Another hammer strike! Even though Huang Dahu had been on guard as the demon approached, the creature's speed was astonishingly fast and the force unexpectedly terrifying. He failed to dodge in time. With a loud *clang*, he was battered straight to the floor! “*Awoo—!*” he roared in pain. “What're you doing?!” The black tiger dropped into a heart-gouging claw stance. “Calm down!” The dreadlocked lion intervened again, urging peace. “I forgot to mention—these two brothers have a particular taboo against one specific word. As long as they hear that word, they're immediately triggered and fly into a violent rage.” “That's right!” Da Pao's eyes were bloodshot, but he exercised restraint, holding Er Pao back. “You didn't know before, so I won't blame you. Just be careful from now on.” “Which word?!” Huang Dahu picked himself up, fuming with rage. The lion didn't dare say it aloud, merely hinting, “Think about it! Of course it's *that* word!” Beside them, the black tiger guessed, “Could it be… the word 'fool'? Don't people always say 'foolish roe deer, foolish roe deer'? Maybe they were traumatized in the past? They can't… can't stand hearing anyone say… 'fool'?” The moment the black tiger finished speaking, he looked up to meet four crimson, bloodshot eyes. “You guessed correctly.” Da Pao stared straight at him. “You are not allowed to say the word 'fool' in front of us.” “And especially not the three words 'foolish roe deer,'” Er Pao added, his gaze freezing cold. “You just said it several times in a row, didn't you?” Da Pao's tone sounded as eerie as a vengeful wraith. “Wait, no!” The black tiger clutched his head and stumbled back. “I didn't call you 'foolish roe deer' on purpose! I was just explaining the situation—maybe other people always call you foolish roe deer! It's my fault this time, won't happen again, alright? I swear I'll never say the words foolish roe deer again, nor will I say 'fool'! If I say 'fool' again, I'm a foolish dog! Ah… Big Brother, save me—!” Faced with imminent doom, his previously labored human speech suddenly flowed with blistering fluency, bordering on a rapid-fire rap. The two infuriated roe deer glared with blood-red eyes, demonic flames surging dozens of feet into the air. Their aura was so terrifying that the entire factory floor fell under a suffocating shroud of silence. The black tiger was overwhelmed with despair. He turned toward his older brother to plead for help, only to find Huang Dahu and the dreadlocked lion huddled together in a far corner, exchanging tasting notes on cigars. “Let me tell you, you've got to light a cigar with real fire to smoke it properly,” Huang Dahu was saying. “Oh, wow.” The dreadlocked lion gave a thumbs-up. “A true connoisseur.” “Don't you two act like innocent bystanders! Your acting is way too fake!” the black tiger bellowed. “Do you take me for a giant fool?!” “You said it again!” Da Pao raised his wrench high. “You keep… saying it! You haven't… stopped once!” Er Pao wiped the blood off his hammer and raised it once more. *Whack, whack, thud, bang!* *Clatter, crash, slam!* *Smack, smash, crack, aah!* *BAM—!* Inside the secluded factory, a chorus of muffled beatings and miserable wails rang out. Huang Dahu stole a covert glance in that direction, wincing in pity. “How long are they going to keep beating him?” “Usually, they only stop when they get tired,” the dreadlocked lion remarked, clicking his tongue. “Didn't I tell you their cultivation is formidable? Just look at that surging demonic energy. No cultivator below the Gang Realm could even scratch their hides.” “Yeah, no kidding.” “See, leave it to me and rest easy.” “Why are they aiming every single hit at his head? They won't beat my brother into a fool, will they?” “Hey! Did you just say it?” “No, no, no, not at all…” “I heard it loud and clear.” “Shut up, you bastard!”