The Fool

The concentration of idiots today was running a bit high, leaving Anbaixiu rather speechless. First came an idiot orc seeking revenge, and then came an idiot human blurting out his own secrets. As a divination wizard, Anbaixiu could guarantee that everything this man had just said was the absolute truth. They had only just met—in fact, they had just fought—yet he laid bare his deepest secrets right then and there. What kind of grade-A fat sheep was this? If the man had so much as a single gold coin on him, Anbaixiu would have taken it to treat his bones to a nice gua sha scraping. Unfortunately, this naked man didn't even have a scrap of cloth on him, let alone a gold coin. Anbaixiu said irritably, "Sigh, making money is exhausting enough. If you're not here to cause me trouble, could you kindly back off?" He had just been discussing the division of the dragons with Gareth, and now that they had been interrupted, they would have to start all over again. What a complete waste of time. Just as Anbaixiu was turning to leave, Aeolus called out to him. The naked man asked, "Wait, you haven't told me your relationship with this orc yet." Without even looking back, Anbaixiu replied, "Enemies." Aeolus grabbed Anbaixiu's arm and said excitedly, "That's great! The enemy of my enemy is my friend, so we're friends now. I'm Aeolus. Who are you?" Anbaixiu turned around in confusion and said to Aeolus, "Friends? We just fought a battle." "Does that matter?" Aeolus said, looking puzzled. "Didn't you attack because you mistook me for someone making trouble for you? And didn't I attack because I misunderstood you as well? If that's a mistake, shouldn't I punish myself first?" "You're surprisingly reasonable," Anbaixiu said, taken aback. "Is that what being reasonable is?" Aeolus asked in confusion. "Isn't that just a normal reaction? Reserve the fury of thunder for your enemies—my fa... father god, Talos, said so as well." Anbaixiu: "..." This fool actually had remarkably noble values. Heji Stone had originally been enjoying the show, but now the two of them were suddenly friends? Outrageous! Absolutely outrageous! Heji had taken in an orc and gained nothing but a heap of trouble, so why did this lich get a new friend without lifting a finger? What was more, this Aeolus looked like a formidable fighter. Someone who could fight like hell but lacked brains—what a perfect friend! Why did every stroke of good luck land on this lich? It wasn't fair! However, Anbaixiu had no time to waste on Aeolus. The kid was probably from some bizarre oceanic race; in any case, he didn't look human at all. Right now, Anbaixiu really didn't want any further complications. If this brat's people turned out to be filthy rich, how could Anbaixiu resist making a grab for a fortune? Severing the source of temptation was the best way to kick an addiction. Thus, Anbaixiu said, "Aeolus, it's a pleasure to meet you. You can call me Ultraman Tiga. However, I'm really quite busy today, so I don't have time to entertain you. If you need anything, I'll have someone prepare a set of clothes for you. If there's anything else you require, just tell this dwarf—he'll take good care of you." "Ultraman Tiga... that name sounds quite interesting." While Aeolus was still pondering the name, Anbaixiu had already flown off. Left with no other option, Aeolus turned to Heji Stone, squinting at the dwarven vampire. "What exactly is your relationship with this orc?" Aeolus asked. Heji Stone kicked the orc hard once more and said, "He's no good. I have a grudge against him, too." Yet Aeolus remarked, "But I saw the two of you talking and laughing on the beach, and he even bowed to you." Heji Stone hurried to explain, "He was deceiving me! I'm a victim, too." Aeolus said excitedly, "Really? He tricked me as well—he even chopped my head off!" Heji Stone chuckled and said, "Come on, now's your chance. You can punish him however you like." Vampires had tremendous regenerative abilities, so taking a beating was no big deal. If he could fool this fool... no, if he could make friends with this Aeolus, that would be a fantastic bargain. Looking at the dazed, soulless Kargor Kluman, Aeolus said disdainfully, "I won't lay a hand on a useless wretch who offers no resistance. A warrior of Talos disdains to torture such garbage." Heji Stone was just about to praise Aeolus for his noble integrity when Aeolus continued, "Let's just chop off his head. A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye. I can give him a quick end." Startled, Heji Stone stammered hurriedly, "No, no, no, you can't!" Aeolus glared at Heji Stone and demanded, "Can't? Are you helping him?!" Countless droplets of water condensed around Aeolus, swiftly sharpening into pointed icicles aimed straight at Heji Stone. The dwarven vampire turned pale with fright. This guy possessed true immortality, something far more absurd than a vampire's, and Heji truly stood no chance against him. Yet he couldn't actually let Aeolus decapitate his blood thrall. While a decapitated vampire didn't necessarily die, recovery was extraordinarily difficult and would severely deplete his vitality. He hadn't even used this blood thrall yet. If the thrall suffered such a heavy blow right out of the gate, wouldn't Heji be taking a massive loss? At that moment, Heji Stone's mind raced. That lich certainly wasn't the only one in the world who knew how to con people! Before long, Heji put on a smile and said to Aeolus, "Look, your friend Ultraman Tiga has a grudge against him, and I have a grudge against him, too. But there's only one orc. If you chop his head off, how are he and I supposed to get our revenge?" Aeolus frowned. That actually sounded reasonable. "Then how do you plan to take revenge?" Aeolus asked. "My way is far crueler. We can't just let him die like that. We have to flay him alive first and torture him for a few years before anything else," Heji Stone said. "Isn't that too troublesome?" Aeolus said. "Not troublesome at all. That's just how I like to take my revenge," Heji Stone replied with utmost seriousness. Aeolus looked upon the dwarven vampire with disdain. Talos was brutal, but his killings were highly efficient; he had no interest in tormenting an opponent bit by bit like this. It wasn't a matter of whether it was cruel or not; in Aeolus's eyes, drawn-out, sluggish torture seemed boring and cowardly. Still, forget it. He was a newcomer here and unfamiliar with the land. Finding Ariel was far more important. The method of revenge didn't matter, so he might as well leave it to this dwarf. "Then you handle it. I'm going to look for my friend." Having said that, Aeolus turned and gave chase in the direction Anbaixiu had departed. He still wanted to ask about Ariel's whereabouts. This dwarf didn't look like a good person, whereas that skeleton was forthright enough and seemed well suited to be a friend. Pursuing him, Aeolus blundered straight into the island's illusion array. This magical formation was designed to conceal tens of thousands of spirits, capable of deceiving even deities. Aeolus didn't even realize he had fallen into an illusion. He merely wondered why the island appeared so intricate—in the blink of an eye, Anbaixiu was nowhere to be seen. After wandering in circles for who knew how many rounds, Aeolus finally encountered Anbaixiu again. "You finally showed up! I've been looking for you for so long!" Aeolus said excitedly. Utterly speechless, Anbaixiu tossed him a set of clothes, telling him to put them on. This weirdo had been wandering around the island for two whole days—had he really not noticed? Clearly, all he had to do was take a step back to find his way out, yet he hadn't turned back even once. Rather clumsily, Aeolus pulled on the shirt and trousers, only to put the shirt on backward. Had this fool never worn clothes before? Anbaixiu actually felt a twinge of shame about tricking a fool. Under normal circumstances, he deceived people either for self-preservation or to turn a profit. Cheating a penniless idiot like this was purely a lack of basic morals. "What exactly are you looking for me for?" Anbaixiu asked, mystified. Fiddling with his clothes, Aeolus said to Anbaixiu, "I want to ask you for a favor." "Go ahead. Let's hear what it is," Anbaixiu said. "I'm looking for someone. Her name is Ariel, and she's my wife," Aeolus said. "Just a name isn't enough. Too many people share the same name. What does she look like?" What use was just a name? Anbaixiu had known more Ariels in his lifetime than he had fingers to count them on. "She's very beautiful!" Aeolus said. Anbaixiu: "..." That was precisely why he usually preferred conning smart people over fools. With smart people, all you had to do was lay a logical trap. When dealing with a fool, you never knew when he'd come out with some nonsensical gibberish. "If you don't know what she looks like, where did you two get separated?" Anbaixiu asked again. "We didn't get separated. I haven't seen her yet," Aeolus said. "An arranged engagement? Did she call it off?" Had he faced discrimination? To be fair, no normal person would let their daughter marry an idiot. "An engagement... My father told me to marry her," Aeolus said. "No engagement?" Anbaixiu said, bewildered. "Are you planning to kidnap a bride?" Aeolus rubbed his chin and said, "If she's unwilling, that wouldn't be out of the question either." Anbaixiu took back his earlier assessment. This fool didn't possess noble values; his values were completely warped. Never mind, no point toying with an idiot. Anbaixiu said to Aeolus, "First of all, bride kidnapping is wrong. It only brings endless trouble and hatred. Your father didn't think this through." The moment Anbaixiu finished speaking, a crash of thunder echoed from the sky. Violent arcs of lightning tore the heavens into jagged splinters. Anbaixiu glanced up at the sky, then turned back to Aeolus. "All right, go on home. If I find Ariel, I'll tell her you're looking for her." —Tell the poor girl to hide as fast as she could, so this fool would never find her. Hearing this, Aeolus said gratefully, "Thank you, good friend! I owe you a favor!" "No, no, no, don't count it like that. I'm almost feeling guilty here," Anbaixiu said. "Ultraman Tiga, you are a humble and good person. I will remember you," Aeolus said. Anbaixiu waved a hand, entirely finished with talking to this fool. Aeolus gripped Anbaixiu's hand tightly, left behind an object resembling a conch shell, and said, "Good friend, I just made this. If you run into trouble, blow into it, and I'll come rushing to help. Of course, if you find Ariel, use it to let me know too." "Uh..." Anbaixiu held the conch awkwardly, watching as Aeolus sprinted into the ocean and plunged straight in. "Whatever." Anbaixiu sighed helplessly. He could only hope the forthcoming paladins wouldn't be anything like this fool—otherwise, he'd be too embarrassed to strike with murderous intent.