Her

"Xu Changtian, what meaning does your life even have?" A luxurious carriage sped along the post road through the mountain forest. Its interior did not resemble a carriage at all, but rather an antique, elegant parlor. One effeminate and one handsome, two youths sat facing each other at a table by the window lattice. The handsome youth was disheveled, the chest of his luxurious robes draped open. The wine cup raised in his hand froze in midair at the other person's words. The effeminate youth was dressed meticulously, yet his chest formed a soft, gentle curve. Leaning back against the soft cushions, his long, delicate legs crossed, his slender, beautiful eyes gazed out the window with contemplative thought. As the voice faded, a cool breeze rustled through the treetops, fluttering the two youths' long hair. Dappled sunlight filtered through the creaking lattice, shining upon them in a momentary hush. Setting down his wine cup, the handsome youth twitched the corner of his mouth and let out an: "Eh?" "'Eh' what? I'm asking you a question." "You haven't said a word since getting in the carriage. Why ask something like this the moment you open your mouth?" "Just curious what meaning your life has." "Why do I feel like you're insulting me?" the handsome youth asked hesitantly. The effeminate youth rolled his eyes, his voice crisp and clear: "Who's insulting you? I just feel living is quite meaningless myself, and that I'd rather experience what dying feels like, so I wanted to ask you." "......" The handsome youth was stunned for a moment. He glanced out the window lattice at the tree-shaded post road rushing past in reverse, then looked across at the madwoman driving the carriage at over a thousand li per hour with her intent-soul, and swallowed hard. After a brief silence, he ventured carefully: "I treated you to drinks at Yuanxiao Pavilion yesterday, and it cost me three months of my allowance. Doing this isn't very nice, is it?" "......" The effeminate youth stared at him without a word. The handsome youth suddenly remembered what happened the previous night and fumed: "I'm exceptionally good-looking—is it my fault that the pure courtesan named Yuan Xiao didn't take a fancy to you last night?" "......" The effeminate youth said nothing, merely quickening the carriage's speed. The handsome youth's expression froze, and he hastily said: "How about this, how about this: next time I go, I'll bring that woman out for you! If anyone dares stop me, I'll stab myself with a knife at Zuixian Tower!" "You're very afraid of death?" The effeminate youth narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "Uh, not... particularly afraid?" The handsome youth's mouth twitched as he closely watched the other's expression. "Mainly, my dad and the others are still waiting for me to go home for dinner today..." "Hmph." The effeminate youth gave a cold snort, and the carriage gradually slowed. He said in a cool voice: "True. It's only natural a lecher like you would hate to part with life." "Don't you accompany me frequenting brothels every day too?" the handsome youth retorted. "This lady doesn't enter the inner quarters." "Yes, yes, yes." Seeing the carriage slow down, the handsome youth breathed a sigh of relief and asked in a milder tone: "Seriously, sister, weren't you completely fine last night? Why do you suddenly find life meaningless today? It couldn't really be because of that woman last night, could it?" "Not because of that. This lady has been thinking about this since a long time ago." As the carriage slowed, the porters and carts along the sides of the post road gradually became visible. Glancing at the commoners bustling for two or three bits of loose silver outside the window, the effeminate youth propped a hand on the table, cradled her cheek, and asked softly: "Born having everything—don't you think it's utterly meaningless? Just like what you said: even if that pure courtesan refuses, if we feel like it, we can play by their rules; if we don't, we can just use force and nobody dares say a thing. Living every day with any desire instantly satisfied—after a long time of this, don't you feel the same way?" Hearing this, the handsome youth pondered for a moment and nodded: "...A bit, yes. But my feelings are definitely deeper than yours. Still, the problem is you and I are different." "Right." The effeminate woman's red lips curved into a stunning arc. Supporting her cheek, she teased, "This lady truly cannot compare to a dandy like you, who even dares to castrate a prince's son." "Junwu, I... didn't mean that." The handsome youth murmured softly, his narrow phoenix eyes lowering slightly to look at his hand resting on the table. "What I wanted to say is... my father's power is too immense..." "Tsk, tsk..." "Damn you!" The handsome youth broke character instantly, glaring up. The effeminate youth blinked, breaking into a radiant smile: "Keep going. I won't interrupt." "If I could cultivate, I'd beat the crap out of you," the handsome youth cursed. The effeminate youth smiled and shrugged. The handsome youth gritted his teeth and scoffed: "In short, I've been unable to cultivate since I was little, and my dad would never let a mortal like me take risks in those affairs, so I was forced to become a dandy." At this point, the handsome youth paused. Pouting, he reached out under the table and kicked his friend across from him, complaining indignantly: "But what about you? You can cultivate, and your aptitude is so remarkable! One day you'll be able to do what you want to do. Even I don't want to die, so why the hell are you talking to me about this?" Taking the harmless kick without minding, the effeminate youth brushed the dust from her trouser leg, pursed her lips, and said with somber eyes: "So what if I can cultivate? What if my cultivation rises? This lady is a hostage personally sent to Di'an by that old man. Xu Changtian, you usually have your father, brothers, and sisters to keep you company, but this lady guards that massive Zhenxi Residence all alone. Aside from going out every day to find fair-weather friends like you, there's nothing else left..." "......" Looking at the girl's forlorn desolation, the youth fell silent for a moment. He did not find life boring largely because he could see that bunch of family members every day, whereas the girl before him had seemingly always been entirely on her own. After thinking seriously for a moment, he rose, walked over to sit beside the girl, rested his elbow against her shoulder, and softly said: "This young master genuinely considers you a friend. Isn't calling me a fair-weather friend a bit much?" The girl nudged his arm away and cast him a cool sidelong glance: "Groping this lady every day isn't the behavior of a friend." Hearing this, the handsome youth brushed his sleeves with feigned disgust and said: "Have you ever seen me put my arm around any other maiden's shoulders? When I intend to misbehave, I start by directly grabbing hands and wrapping around waists." Saying this, his expression turned solemn as he spoke in earnest: "Alright, after all you've said, down to the root of it, you're mostly just lonely. Let's go look for some thrills today; that'll probably make you forget about it." "Thrills... you want to sleep with me?" "Ha? You?" The handsome youth's eye twitched. Pointing at his immortal-like features, he laughed and scolded: "Well, well, Li Junwu, you want to take advantage of this young master, don't you?" The girl's fair cheeks instantly froze, and she gritted her teeth, her smile turning dangerous. The handsome youth cleared his throat lightly and hastily said: "I meant, why don't we find two or three unlucky bastards to cripple for fun? Or I'll seduce a few noble ladies, and you go trick some young lords from prominent clans, and we play with their feelings together? What do you say? I saw that young prince from Prince Jing's Manor and his crowd pass the time like that." The effeminate youth's eyes took on a look of disdain: "What's the fun in copying those bastards preying on ordinary people?" "Preying on ordinary people is definitely boring." The handsome youth smiled, leaning back against the couch. Looking sideways at the girl beside him, his eyes half-squinted as he chuckled carelessly, "What this young master wants to prey upon are those ministers, aristocrats, and imperial scions!" "......" The girl's beautiful eyes widened slightly, her heartbeat gradually quickening. She was somewhat tempted. After a brief quiet, she said: "Let's forget it. I was just venting to you. That would cause trouble." "Don't worry, if trouble comes, I'll take the fall." The handsome youth patted his chest, scoffing lightly. "That young Prince Jing is a pretty good candidate for an unlucky bastard. What do you think? Shall we go play with him today?" "Your eldest brother will beat you." "No problem, my second brother will hold him back." "You told me last time that your eldest brother hung both of you up and whipped you together." "Uh, well..." The youth's face froze. "Pfft, hahaha..." Crisp laughter drifted out through the window lattice, scattering along the verdant woods. Watching the girl clutching her belly and laughing until tears spilled across her beautiful face, the youth sighed and said warmly with a smile: "Actually, that method is only a temporary distraction—it treats the symptom, not the root cause. If you really find life meaningless, I have a suggestion for you." Having laughed her fill, the girl wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and tilted her head: "What?" "Go fall in love with someone." "Ah?" "You find life meaningless mostly because you have too much free time. Your parents aren't around, and you lack nothing material. So find someone to fall in love with, find something to do..." "Pfft—" The girl let out a disdainful laugh, glancing sidelong at him. "You're only fifteen this year, aren't you? Talking as if you've seen through all worldly affairs." "Sixteen." "Same difference." "Still more experienced than you." The youth counted on his fingers, his eyes curving with a smile. "From the time I gained conscious memory until now, I've probably fancied a dozen or so women." The girl curled her lip and muttered in a low voice: "So promiscuous and fickle, yet you seem proud of it?" The youth asked with a strange look in his eyes: "Don't tell me that in all your years, you've only ever fancied one person?" The girl fell silent. The youth was astonished: "Really?" "No." The girl shook her head. "What?" "I said, this lady has never fancied anyone." "......" The youth was stunned for a long while before pity surfaced in his eyes: "I see." Saying this, his eyes suddenly brightened, and he asked: "Then do you like men or women?" "Xu Changtian, do you want to die?" The youth ignored her threat, saying as a matter of course: "We've frequented brothels together for so long. When I tried to find you male courtesans, you refused, but when it came to female courtesans, you turned none away, yet in the end you never entered the inner chambers. When Wang Chengen and the others teased you together, you never refuted it either, so I was curious." "None of your damn business." "Aren't I trying to help scout candidates for you? If I don't know whether you like men or women, how can I scout?" "......" The girl turned her face away, refusing to look at him. Seeing this, the youth did not press further: "Junwu, the feeling of falling in love with someone is really interesting. If you feel lonely, go fall in love with someone for fun. Once you find them, just tell this young master." She looked back and huffed: "What does my finding a husband have to do with you?" Xu Yuan glanced sideways at her, the corners of his lips curving slightly: "To help you kidnap them, of course." "This lady doesn't need that." "You've never loved anyone, so you don't know the feeling of loving someone you can't have. Don't be so quick to refuse. When the time comes, as long as you say the word, even if it's an imperial prince or princess, this young master can tie them to your bed." "I don't need it, period." "Suit yourself then. Anyway, you should still find a first person to love." "Why do you keep harping on this?" "It wasn't easy finding a friend cut from the same cloth. This young master doesn't want you to die." The youth rested his hands behind his head, looking at the carved beams and painted ceiling, and said with a smile: "Once you have someone important to you, you'll naturally find life interesting, and no matter what, you'll want to keep on living. "Once you have someone important to you, you won't have thoughts of throwing your life away like you did just now." Li Junwu hesitated for a moment and asked: "...Really?" "Why would I lie to you?" ************* *I was still lied to by him...* Standing alone high in the void, Li Junwu looked up at the stars across the heavens, thinking softly to herself. In the massive crater below her, a halberd pierced through the skull of a woman, completely severing her vitality. The woman surnamed Wen had departed. Leaving behind one of her Saint bodies, she had retreated with the Linlang, leaving behind only the Zhenxi Prefectural City below, reduced to ashes by war. Yet cheers erupted from distant streets. Regardless of whether loved ones had perished in this war, at this moment the survivors rejoiced for their own survival. The war was over; the war was won. The soldiers of the prefectural yamen shouted the name of the Commandery Princess of Zhenxi, and led by the military, the surviving populace emerged from their dwellings, shouting along. In the end, cries that could level mountains and fill seas echoed through the sky. Gazing at the distant scene, a smile appeared in Li Junwu's magnificent, beautiful eyes, but waves of exhaustion gradually climbed into her heart. The night wind of the Great Desert was fierce. It swept away the daytime heat wave, lifting Li Junwu's long hair, drifting and fluttering, like a cascading waterfall of crystal under the starlight across the sky. Her slender fingertips brushed through her snow-white hair, which had already grown to her waist. Below, that "liar" was staring fixedly at her. Only right now, she no longer had the courage to look him in the eye again. She was afraid that after taking this glance, she would waver; afraid that she would come to fear death. Biting back the trembling at the corners of her lips, the qi dynamic around Li Junwu—vast to the utmost extreme—surged and converged once more. It was time for her to leave. "Are you leaving?" A familiar voice came from behind her, causing Li Junwu's figure to tremble violently. Teleporting into the sky, Xu Yuan looked at Li Junwu before him. Everything in his eyes vanished; only she before him remained. Her silhouette was as dazzling as the rising sun before dawn broke with its first ray of sunlight, yet under the gaze of those eyes swallowed by the Dao Charm of Life and Death, Xu Yuan clearly knew that this was no rising sun at all, but a firework slowly rising into the sky. Feeling the suffocatingly powerful aura emanating from her, Xu Yuan grinned, his smile resembling crying: "How many Jinqi Pills did you have the Zhenxi Army take? Three varieties, or four?" Dazzling vitality, dense aura of death, bloomed and intertwined within her simultaneously. Amid the dead silence, Li Junwu half-turned her face, her beautiful eyes coated in pristine moonlight gently curving, the white hair at her temples like light, her faint smile breathtaking: "Changtian, this time, it's my turn to save you." *Save him...* Hearing her words, Xu Yuan felt as if a giant boulder were pressing down on his chest—hard to breathe, hard to speak, hard to show even a sliver of a smile to her. He wanted to tell this woman she was meddling. He wanted to rage at this idiot's rashness. He wanted to tell her that he had the Dao Charm of Death protecting him. If he had been willing, he could even have devoured the entire city's populace to continue fighting this war! "You definitely want to scold me right now." Her white hair glowing with the radiance of life, Li Junwu slowly turned around and said with a smile, "I know you definitely had a trump card—like consuming those commoners currently shouting this lady's name, right?" "......" Xu Yuan opened his mouth. Li Junwu stepped through the void, coming right up to him, and reached out to pat his shoulder: "We fought this war to protect them in the first place. Besides, Changtian, if you devoured them, there would be no turning back. So that wouldn't do." Amid Xu Yuan's silence, Li Junwu seemed oblivious to his emotions. Glancing at the corpses of the two Saints below, she huffed lightly: "You were quite right. Ordinary methods can't kill these Saints at all, and your father and the others would never allow the method of killing them to leak out. "Seems this lady truly is a military array genius superior to Li Qingyan. In just one day, I mastered the Saint-slaying array intent you taught... "By the way, the Barbarian King you killed with her shouldn't be as strong as this old man and woman, right? "Still, that was really close just now... "That woman seemed to want to fuse several Saint bodies together, but luckily she stopped for some reason. Otherwise, this lady definitely wouldn't have beaten her..." Li Junwu continued her clear-voiced chattering, but Xu Yuan still didn't want to listen anymore. In his eyes, her life was about to rise to the apex of its brilliant blooming. Yet an annoyed kick from Li Junwu dragged him forcibly back to reality: "Can you stop playing mute? This lady is asking you a question." Xu Yuan looked up, his robes fluttering in the wind, his voice hoarse: "...What?" Feeling the vitality continuously ebbing within her body, Li Junwu pointed her index finger at herself, her beautiful eyes curving: "I'm asking: isn't this lady stronger than that woman Li Qingyan now?" "......" Feeling the pain, looking up, Xu Yuan wanted to curse, but seeing the emotions swirling in those clear, luminous eyes, he silently swallowed the words on the tip of his tongue. As the flames burning in the streets gradually died down, the stillness of the ruins finally swallowed his weak, low mutter: "...You idiot." "You're the idiot." Li Junwu suddenly punched the man's chest hard, striking Xu Yuan so hard he coughed up a mouthful of blood, her voice gradually taking on a tremor: "I'm asking you a question! This lady is... is asking you now: am... am I stronger than that princess? Li Qingyan failed to hold Beifeng City, but this lady... this lady held Zhenxi Prefectural City..." Xu Yuan wiped the blood from the corner of his lips, the Dao domain of Life within his body automatically repairing his injury, and cursed softly: "If... if you survive, you're stronger than her." Hearing this, Li Junwu smiled, pursing her lips, gritting her teeth: "Xu Yuan... you... do you want to die?" "......" Xu Yuan suddenly grabbed her hand, the Dao Charm of Life instantly manifesting, but in the next moment, Li Junwu shook him off. She knew very well that the warm current that had healed her earlier could never replenish her completely dried-up vitality: "Get lost. I don't need you to heal me." The moment the words left her mouth, a streak of blood spilled from the corner of Li Junwu's lips. Her flushed face rapidly drained of color, and after her figure swayed, she began to fall downward. Xu Yuan hurriedly caught her, slowly descending with her, speaking rapidly: "There will always be a way..." With a wave of his hand, the Sumeru ring that had come off during the battle was instantly caught in his palm. Countless priceless healing pills appeared in midair. Xu Yuan casually crushed the jade bottles, shattering the pills with qi, and prepared to feed them to her in his arms. Yet his hand was knocked away by her once again. Her pale, delicate face looked at him with a smile as she softly said: "Learn to be graceful under pressure... that's what you taught me... Did you forget so quickly?" His hand froze in midair. A suffocating feeling wrapped around him like a giant hand, leaving him powerless to breathe, powerless to gasp, yet she in his arms merely rested her head gently against his chest. They touched down on the ground amid the sprawling ruins, where a post-battle stillness reigned. After a quiet moment, Xu Yuan knelt on the ground on one knee, his hand holding the woman trembling slightly, a powerless curve forming at the corners of his lips: "I recall you promised me you wouldn't use the military array?" Blood spilled from her mouth as she used his own words to refute him with a smile: "A promise is to achieve an objective; whether it's fulfilled or not isn't important." "Who uses those words like that..." "Well, you're the one who said it anyway." Li Junwu leaned against Xu Yuan's chest, her beautiful eyes half-closed as she looked at the sky: "Changtian, do you know? Actually, just now I wanted to leave directly." "I know." "I was very afraid that after seeing you, I would become afraid of dying. But right now, it seems I'm not very afraid anymore." She nuzzled deeper into his embrace, feeling a warmth she had never felt before. "If you're afraid of dying, let me heal you." "You've died before; you should know my current state very well." "I have to try at least..." "If you try, you'll only feel guiltier." "But..." "This lady doesn't want to talk about this right now." "...Okay." "Humph." She gave a soft huff, grabbed a lock of her translucent white hair, and waved it before his eyes: "How about it? This lady told you my hair would grow long. Well, do I look pretty with long hair?" Gazing at her cascading white hair for a moment, Xu Yuan spoke softly and gently: "Yes... pretty." "Right? You were making fun of me before." Li Junwu gave a soft tsk, turning to grumble in complaint: "Changtian, around New Year's, when I heard news of your death, I was sad for so, so long. You didn't even notify me beforehand. But I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. You've always been a liar anyway." "But I don't think I ever lied to you, did I?" "Haven't you lied to me enough? You're the one who lied to me and told me to fall in love with someone." "Seems so... But speaking of lying, didn't you lie to me for more than ten years too?" "That's because... because..." She stammered for words, then smiled sweetly: "...because I was scared." "You were actually that timid?" "Mmh... if... if you keep talking about this, this lady is just going to go straight to sleep." "Alright, I won't." "Mm... where were we just now?" She tried to recall the thread of conversation, but her conscious memories began to rapidly fade. "Speaking of my faking death around New Year's..." He lowered his eyes to remind her. "Oh, that. Did you see the letter I wrote you back then? But I reckon that old man probably intercepted it. The things inside, that old man definitely wouldn't want you to hear." "What did you write?" he asked softly. Only, she in his embrace seemed unable to hear his voice anymore. The light in her eyes rapidly dimmed, staring blankly at the starry sky, murmuring in a low whisper: "Speaking of that old man... sometimes, I really hate my old man. He clearly named me Junwu, yet he never let me touch military affairs..." Her voice grew weaker and weaker: "Changtian, tell me... if... if he had let me touch military affairs earlier, would I... would I not have to die now...?" "It's all that old man's fault... But... but Changtian, I don't know why, right now... right now I really miss him and mother... "I... I really want to tell him that his daughter held Zhenxi Prefectural City... tell him that right now, the people of the entire city are shouting his daughter's name..." Near the end, Li Junwu's beautiful eyes gradually turned dull, her pale lips trembling: "But from the Northern Desert to here takes a full ten days... He probably won't hear it..." Her words faded into silence. The night wind quietly fluttered their intertwined long hair. In the final brilliance of her life's firework, a flash of light suddenly swept across her fading eyes. Her vision gradually cleared. Li Junwu slowly raised a trembling fingertip to brush away a glistening tear from the corner of Xu Yuan's eye. Smiling as she looked at her trembling beloved before her, the thousands of words she wished to say blurred her vision, her breathing trembling along with her voice: "Changtian... "I'm leaving... "From now on... I can never show you my legs again, you know..." Their lips brushed lightly. Her voice grew fainter and fainter. Until it fell into silence. Starlight fell like a cascade. The white hair withered, the beauty passed, and her fingertip slipped down, limp and lifeless.