I Was Only Joking, but You Took It Seriously!

Mingwu Dojo was decked with lanterns and colored streamers, as though a grand celebration were underway. And it was indeed a joyous occasion. Xu Tiehua of Mingwu Dojo had made it into the top ten of the city-level Martial Arts Tournament for the first time. At this moment, Xu Tiehua was in high spirits. Granted, finishing in the top ten was trivial for someone of his status, but it was still a flattering feather in his cap—much like a mayor placing in the top three of a municipal calligraphy contest. It was something worth bragging about. The other two tournament participants stood behind Xu Tiehua, their eyes filled with envy and admiration. "Senior Brother Xu, placing in the top ten is truly a momentous occasion worth celebrating," Lin Feng praised. Yang Jiang also smiled. "Within ten years, Senior Brother Xu is bound to reach the martial arts limit and seize the championship at the National Martial Arts Tournament!" The students present felt deep admiration upon hearing this. Winning the national championship was an enormous temptation to them. The benefits a champion reaped were astonishing—easily reaching into the hundreds of millions. Endorsements of every kind, surging fame, and invitations as an honored guest of prominent nobles would all follow. For Xu Tiehua, however, fame was far more important, as it would pave the way for his future ambitions. "Ten years is far too long," Xu Tiehua could not help lamenting. The martial arts circle was too small, its horizons too limited. He had no intention of lingering in it for ten years. Spending a year or two to earn the title of a top-one-hundred national martial artist would be more than enough. The martial arts circle could offer him only so much. "If it took me ten years to win the national championship, I'd do it in a heartbeat!" Lin Feng chuckled. "Your ten years aren't the same as Senior Brother Xu's," Xing Yu piped up. "Brother Xu is entering politics in the future. Why would he waste ten years in the martial arts world?" The others nodded in agreement. Civil promotion in Qinyuan Kingdom did not rely heavily on seniority. Nobles could enter officialdom after a brief period of cultivating a public reputation. Xu Tiehua was currently in that very phase. "Senior Brother Xu, do you plan to go into politics or the military later?" Wang Shiqiao asked curiously. "The military!" Xu Tiehua answered with conviction. "The military? That's way too dangerous," Lin Feng said, worry creeping into his eyes. "The world isn't at peace right now. Who knows when the war between Wugui and Yuelang might spill across our borders?" In his eyes, the military could never be as safe as politics. After all, bullets had no eyes, and a stray shell could land on one's head at any moment. Yang Jiang held a different view. "Wealth and honor come from danger! With war on the horizon, there'll be plenty of chances to make a name for yourself. Who knows, the next time we see Senior Brother Xu, we might have to address him as General!" "Military life really is full of perils, though," Xing Yu remarked, a complicated look crossing her face. "A rumor went around a few days ago saying an entire regiment stationed at a Wugui military base was completely wiped out." "Haha, you're not talking about that video of a single sword wiping out a base, are you?" Wang Shiqiao chimed in loudly. "I scrolled past that too! What nonsense—the special effects looked like they cost fifty cents. It wasn't realistic at all!" She frequently clashed with Wugui netizens online, so seeing such videos was completely normal for her. "Your rumor is a little too wild," Lin Feng said skeptically. "A whole regiment flattened, and there's no official coverage?" After all, Yuelang was a military ally of Qinyuan Kingdom. If Yuelang had pulled off such an astounding feat, the news in Qinyuan Kingdom would have plastered it all over every front page. Yet so far, not a single official report had mentioned it. It was nothing but idle gossip. "It really is exaggerated. I saw the video too," Xu Tiehua chimed in. "I can say with absolute certainty that Qinyuan Kingdom doesn't possess any weapon capable of producing that effect." Since he planned to join the military, he was well-versed in Qinyuan Kingdom's cutting-edge weaponry. No weapon could produce that result—manifesting as a colossal blood-red sword that crashed down violently. Even an attack from the Eye of the Sky didn't look like that. "The comments were all saying someone was secretly cultivating immortality behind our backs!" Wang Shiqiao laughed. Everyone joked about staying up late to cultivate immortality, but someone had actually achieved it. The other students had not seen the video and looked bewildered. The group chatted idly for a long while. Neither Lin Feng nor Yang Jiang brought up Qi Yuan, who had supposedly fled before the fight, mindful of not spoiling the mood. The atmosphere in the dojo remained warm and harmonious. Suddenly, someone called out to Wang Shiqiao. "Sister Shiqiao, someone's looking for you." Wang Shiqiao turned and saw the receptionist. Before she could move, Xing Yu teased, "Did she come to harass you again?" A helpless expression crossed Wang Shiqiao's face. "Probably. Sigh, what an awful twist of fate!" Xing Yu burst out laughing. "What awful twist? Maybe it's a match made in heaven!" "Screw off! My tastes are completely normal—I want handsome guys!" "Isn't she handsome?" "No matter how handsome she is, she's still a woman!" Wang Shiqiao grumbled indignantly. A year ago, while hanging out at a nightclub, she had spotted a gorgeous guy. After a few drinks, the chemistry heated up. Only when they got to the hotel did she realize her companion lacked the necessary equipment. Wang Shiqiao had refused on the spot. She was straight. She had turned her down flat. She had assumed the matter was settled, but over the past few days, she had run into that "gorgeous guy" again. The person had been pursuing her relentlessly. Wang Shiqiao was utterly exasperated. Still, she had to meet her, having recently learned that their parents were old family friends. Reluctantly walking out of the dojo, Wang Shiqiao cursed under her breath, *These plastic surgery clinics have no conscience at all. Why sculpt a woman to look like a man? I got tricked so badly!* Stepping outside, she found the sky crystal clear and the sun glaring. Seeing the crew-cut figure standing nearby, Wang Shiqiao sighed helplessly. "Zhao Di, what do you want?" The person before her was Zhao Di, the very "handsome guy" from the nightclub. Dressed in a blue tunic, flat-chested, and bearing somewhat rugged facial features, she looked entirely like a man. "Xiaoqiao, don't be so defensive. I just want to be friends," Zhao Di said, her voice naturally neutral. Wang Shiqiao rolled her eyes inwardly. She didn't buy a word of it. Just friends? She just wanted to sleep with her. Wang Shiqiao knew that line all too well. "Your mother's art exhibition opens in a few days. Why don't you invite me along to show support?" Zhao Di asked softly. "I know some wealthy businessmen who are quite keen on art." Wang Shiqiao's mother was holding an exhibition in five days, and Zhao Di wanted to attend. As the host's daughter, Wang Shiqiao had to be there. Hearing this, Wang Shiqiao's irritation flared into sudden anger. She was wild and free-spirited by nature, and she despised subtle coercion more than anything. She would rather someone just be direct. "Sorry, I can't even be bothered to attend my mom's exhibition," Wang Shiqiao snapped. "I'd love it if nobody showed up, so she'd abandon her artistic dreams and go home to play mahjong!" Realizing she had overstepped, Zhao Di quickly said, "Xiaoqiao, my bad. Don't be mad. Look, I brought you a gift." Zhao Di pulled out a leather bag and unzipped it, revealing a broken sword resting inside. "Last time, I saw you took a liking to this sword, so I managed to track it down for you," Zhao Di said proudly. During a recent trip to an antique market, Wang Shiqiao had set her sights on this broken blade. However, someone had bought it before her, and the buyer had refused to sell even when she offered three times the price. Wang Shiqiao had left deeply disappointed. Zhao Di had witnessed the whole scene. Through threats and bribes, she had pried the broken sword from the buyer's hands. Now, she presented it as a gift to Wang Shiqiao. Looking at the sword, a spark of delight flashed across Wang Shiqiao's eyes, quickly replaced by annoyance. "How did you get this sword?" To be honest, her dislike and avoidance of Zhao Di went beyond the cross-dressing. Deep down, she felt they belonged to entirely different worlds. Wang Shiqiao might view herself as a messy, morally flexible person, but she never used her family background to bully others or break the law. Zhao Di was clearly different. Wang Shiqiao had heard that Zhao Di had once crippled an ordinary man's leg over a romantic spat, then used her powerful family connections to evade legal consequences. Wang Shiqiao thoroughly detested that sort of behavior. This broken sword had likely been obtained through similar intimidation. Seeing her reaction, Zhao Di's expression turned chilly. Her patience wore thin, and anger flickered in her eyes. She grabbed Wang Shiqiao's hand, her face hardening. "This sword..." Before she could finish, a voice rang out nearby. "Wang Shiqiao, what a coincidence! Running into you the moment I arrive—looks like my luck is rolling in today." Wang Shiqiao turned her head and saw a well-built young man walking over with a cheerful smile, carrying a neatly wrapped gift box. At the sight of Qi Yuan, relief flashed across Wang Shiqiao's face, followed immediately by distress. Zhao Di was clearly furious. If it had been Xu Tiehua who walked out, she could have boldly used him to defuse the situation. Instead, it was Qi Yuan. She was terrified of dragging him into trouble. Qi Yuan came from an ordinary background, and if Zhao Di took a grudge against him, it could turn ugly. "You're back?" Wang Shiqiao struggled briefly, but failed to break free from Zhao Di's grip. Giving up on pulling away, she continued, "Qi Yuan, Senior Brother Xu Tiehua placed in the top ten of the Martial Arts Tournament! They're celebrating inside—go check it out!" Her only thought was to keep Qi Yuan out of her mess. "Oh? Top ten? Mingwu Dojo truly has hidden talents," Qi Yuan said. "Still, I came today specifically for you." He waved the elegantly wrapped box in his hand. The household robot Zero-One had packaged it in a distinctly feminine style, tying a bright pink ribbon into a delicate bow that gave it a wonderfully sweet look. "Here, this gift I brought you is worth a full million!" Qi Yuan swung the box, a grin in his eyes. He had two things to do at the dojo: first, find Wang Shiqiao to collect his one million; second, inform the master that he would rarely attend training from now on. "One million?" Wang Shiqiao froze. Had this guy finally seen the light? Bringing her a gift? If this had happened inside the dojo, her first reaction would have been suspicion, followed by smug satisfaction. Qi Yuan was usually honest, so there probably wasn't a plot—maybe he had just had a sudden change of heart. Right here and now, however, the timing was terrible. Zhao Di looked Qi Yuan up and down with keen interest, hostility lingering deep in her gaze. "Xiaoqiao, is this a suitor of yours? He's quite handsome." They were all adults. Giving a gift meant either asking for a favor or courting someone. Zhao Di naturally assumed Qi Yuan was pursuing her. "I wonder if I might have the honor of seeing this million-dollar gift?" Zhao Di asked. She could tell at a glance that Qi Yuan dressed plainly. The box might look pretty, but it was cheap fancy. She didn't believe for a second that whatever lay inside was worth a million. Wang Shiqiao could naturally tell Zhao Di was trying to embarrass Qi Yuan, so she quickly retorted, "It's my gift. When I open it is my business." She refused to give Zhao Di a chance to belittle him. Yet Qi Yuan spoke up instead. "Better open it now. I need your confirmation, and I'm in a hurry to get back. I've been traveling for days and I'm exhausted. I need a good rest." Once he was rested, he had to set out again with Yang Shan for the tournament evaluation. "Huh?" Wang Shiqiao stared blankly, having no idea what game he was playing. "Are you sure you want to open it now?" "Positive. What's there to be afraid of? There's no one around, and no surveillance cameras either. It's fine," Qi Yuan said with utter certainty. The three of them were standing in an isolated corner of the dojo building where almost nobody passed by. Wang Shiqiao felt thoroughly baffled, sensing something strangely off about Qi Yuan's words. Zhao Di reached out and took the pink box. "Allow me to help you open it and see what this million-dollar gift is!" Placing her hands on the ribbon, Zhao Di carefully untied the bow rather than tearing it open. Curiosity showed on her face. Wang Shiqiao was even more curious. Qi Yuan giving her a gift was strange enough on its own. One worth a million? Seconds ticked by. Zhao Di lifted the lid, catching a faint, peculiar aroma mingled with a subtle metallic stench of blood and a hint of salt. She pulled the box completely open. A large, bloody human head lay exposed before her eyes. "Aaaah!" A shrill scream ripped from her throat, and the gift box tumbled from her hands, crashing to the ground. She stared at Qi Yuan in utter terror. Panic seized her. Without a second thought, she turned and fled as fast as her legs could carry her. She didn't even dare pick up the broken sword that had dropped from her hand. That was a human head! A real, severed human head! What kind of monster carried a severed head around in broad daylight as a gift? Running for her life was the only option! As for Wang Shiqiao, Zhao Di couldn't care less. Wang Shiqiao's mind had gone completely blank. She stood rooted to the spot, her limbs numb, robbed of all ability to move. "Y-You... you..." She stared at Qi Yuan, unable to squeeze out a coherent word. "You like the gift, right? Look at you, so moved you can't even speak," Qi Yuan said considerately. Her stuttering must mean she was moved to tears by his gift. Wang Shiqiao's legs were like lead, her heart trembling in terror. She cursed Zhao Di for not dragging her along when she fled. The Qi Yuan standing before her looked like a psychotic serial killer. "All right, I've delivered the head. Where's my million?" Qi Yuan extended an open palm. That was one million—enough to buy tens of thousands of bowls of beef noodles. He wasn't letting it go to waste. Wang Shiqiao was utterly bewildered. Her mind jumped to extortion. He had brought a severed head to shake her down for a million. As absurd as it was, anyone who saw this head would probably hand over the cash. "I sent my bank account number to your phone. Don't forget to transfer the money," Qi Yuan reminded her. Looking into Qi Yuan's earnest eyes, Wang Shiqiao could only nod. If she didn't give him the money right now, would her own head be next? "Why do you look so reluctant?" "Do you know how much effort I put into getting this head?" "I traveled thousands of miles to Wugui Kingdom, searched all through their military base, and finally hunted down the guy who flamed you for a whole month. Then... I chopped his head off." "Do you know how much risk I took? My heart was in my throat when I went through customs!" "It's only a million. Is that really too much to ask?" Seeing her reluctant expression, Qi Yuan rambled on, listing every hardship he had endured. Wang Shiqiao froze. The guy who had flamed her for a month? Could it be...? She forced herself to look directly at the bloody head. When she recognized the familiar facial features, her eyes went wide. "He's... he's..." She recognized him! This head belonged to the Guiran officer she had been arguing with online for an entire month! His head... was actually inside Qi Yuan's box. The sheer absurdity of it broke her comprehension. Suddenly, she remembered messaging Qi Yuan a few days ago, and he had claimed he was in Wugui Kingdom. She also recalled joking with him a couple of months back, promising that if he brought her that Guiran officer's head, she would pay him a million. Putting it all together... Well... Qi Yuan had actually fetched the head. Wang Shiqiao wanted to cry, her heart seized with dread. *I was only joking! You actually went and did it?!* She felt profoundly grateful that her joke had been relatively tame. If she had joked about something even crazier, what would Qi Yuan have done? At the same time, endless confusion flooded her mind. How on earth had he pulled it off? That man was a military officer from Guiran. Furthermore, his videos had revealed that he was no ordinary officer, but someone of noble descent. How could a nobleman padding his resume in a fortified camp have been killed by Qi Yuan? Seeing her remain silent, Qi Yuan quickly added, "I might have exaggerated a little, but it's basically what happened. Not a single cent less than a million." This was the Qi-style inequality. Wang Shiqiao swallowed hard, staring at Qi Yuan. "I'll transfer the million right away." To Wang Shiqiao, a million was a considerable sum, but she could scrape it together if she squeezed her accounts. After all, he had delivered the head right to her feet—how could she dare refuse? If Qi Yuan chopped off her head and stuffed it into a gift box instead, who would avenge her? She resolved to watch her tongue around Qi Yuan from now on. No more reckless jokes. In fact, she needed to keep as much distance from him as possible. "Make sure you store the head properly. No seven-day unconditional returns, and definitely no refunds without returning the item!" Qi Yuan instructed solemnly. Resigned to her fate, Wang Shiqiao closed the box with trembling hands, hugging the gruesome parcel like someone who had lost all will to live. "Okay." "Hey, there's a broken sword on the ground. Whose is it? Did someone drop it? Is it unowned?" Qi Yuan's gaze fell upon the broken sword. He bent down, picked it up, and smiled. "Since it's unowned, it belongs to me." Qi Yuan felt in high spirits, convinced fortune was smiling on him today. Not only had he earned a million, but he had also scored a broken sword. To an immortal cultivator, the sword was worthless. To the martial artist Qi Yuan, however, it carried some value. Listening to his rationalization and watching his little performance, Wang Shiqiao dared not utter a single objection. "Right... It has no owner. It's yours now." With a clear conscience, Qi Yuan tucked the broken sword away and said, "Come on, let's head back to the dojo together." Hugging the gift box, Wang Shiqiao nodded numbly. How could she dare refuse anything he said? Even if Qi Yuan ordered her to strip naked and run around the block, she would probably grit her teeth and comply. Following behind Qi Yuan, Wang Shiqiao held the severed head tightly against her chest, her mind a tangled mess. Soon, the two walked back inside the dojo. Xing Yu looked over, surprise on her face. Glancing past Qi Yuan, she eyed Wang Shiqiao and asked with a teasing grin, "Oh? Is that a gift from that person? From the look on your face, you don't seem thrilled. If you hate it, just toss it!" Hearing her best friend's suggestion, Wang Shiqiao panicked. "I love it! I love it so much!" "I'm the one who gave it to her," Qi Yuan said flatly from the side. Xing Yu's eyes widened in disbelief. "You, a wooden block like you... finally opened your eyes and bought Xiaoqiao a present? Xiaoqiao, let me see! What is it?" As she spoke, Xing Yu reached out to tug at the gift box. Wang Shiqiao scrambled backward in alarm. "Don't!" Seeing her reaction, Xing Yu tactfully drew her hand back and giggled. "It's not one of those gifts where the girlfriend is moved to tears, is it?" Wang Shiqiao didn't answer, but she agreed from the bottom of her heart. She was indeed moved to tears—and terrified to even move! *** After parting ways with Wang Shiqiao and the others, Qi Yuan went to see Second Senior Brother. His purpose was simple. Having reached the martial arts limit, he had nothing left to learn at the dojo. He had merely come to notify Second Senior Brother that he would rarely visit in the future. "Oh, sure. You're a paying student—whatever you say goes," Second Senior Brother chuckled, raising no objection. "By the way, it's a pity you missed the tournament. Xu Tiehua performed splendidly and took ninth place!" In the dojo, everyone flattered Xu Tiehua by saying he made the "top ten" rather than citing his exact rank, simply because he had placed ninth. "Not bad. A steady stream of talent," Qi Yuan praised casually. Second Senior Brother sighed regretfully. "It's truly a shame you couldn't make it. If you had participated, our dojo would have had four members, and we might have earned a slot in the team event." Qi Yuan merely shrugged. "A friend ran into trouble, so I had to travel abroad. When you see Xu Tiehua later, apologize to him on my behalf." Qi Yuan still had social grace. Even with a psychiatric certificate, he had to play the part of a considerate lunatic. Since he had stood Xu Tiehua up, an apology was only proper. However, since he probably wouldn't return to the dojo anytime soon, he asked Second Senior Brother to pass the message along. "Yeah, it's no big deal," Second Senior Brother continued. "Looks like you'll have to wait until next year to enter the tournament and broaden your horizons. Still, you'll probably be a licensed martial artist by then, so you might even achieve a solid rank." Qi Yuan shook his head. "Why wait until next year? I'm competing in the National Martial Arts Tournament this year..." "Haha... to win the championship, right?" Second Senior Brother laughed. Qi Yuan's claim of winning the national championship had already spread throughout the dojo, and no one took it seriously. Seeing the amusement dancing in Second Senior Brother's eyes, Qi Yuan didn't bother to explain, nor would he.