How About I Give You a Grandma?

"Hold out your hands. Yeah, keep that pose. That's it." Three red booklets appeared. Canary held one in her hand, Xiao Jia held one gripped in her sleeve, and Qi Yuan held one as well. The camera on Zero-One's head recorded the scene. "Whenever I watched videos before, I always saw people with cameras growing out of their heads. Now I finally get it—they were robots!" Qi Yuan had made another groundbreaking discovery today. Canary giggled. "This young lady can grow a camera out of her head too." Right as she spoke, a little camera sprouted from the top of her head. Qi Yuan burst into hearty laughter. From Xiao Jia's sleeve, a wooden tile with a "Happy" face slipped out. Zero-One spoke up at that moment. "The video has been edited and set to music, and the caption has been finalized. Master may publish it at any time." Qi Yuan logged into his account and found the video in his drafts. Their faces were not shown in the video—only three hands and three marriage certificates. Or, more precisely, two hands and one sleeve. "It's finally my turn to flex!" Qi Yuan happily tapped send. Not far away, Xie Xinsu stood thoroughly dazed. She had already been dumbfounded upon seeing Ning Tao yesterday. Today... the moment she woke up, she saw an animate bridal gown. What was more... it had even registered a marriage certificate with her cold, ruthless owner. She was completely lost. *Is this a demon?* *A puppet?* *Or what?* Endless confusion swirled in her heart. Canary was clearly an immortal cultivator who wielded terrifying power. How could she share a husband with an "otherworldly being"? At the same time, Xie Xinsu felt a lingering sense of dread. Suddenly, she felt as if her past-life cultivation at the Origin Core Realm... really amounted to nothing at all. This otherworldly creature named Xiao Jia had an extraordinary background. *Could this dog owner... wait, this cat owner also have an extraordinary origin?* A terrifying thought crossed Xie Xinsu's mind. Then, she quickly shook her head. *Impossible. If he had an extraordinary background, why would he practice martial arts?* Why would someone who had stepped onto the immortal path ever turn to martial arts? The prospects of martial arts in this world were limited at best. Xie Xinsu's head spun. There were far too many thoughts for her current feline brain to untangle. "Sigh, getting married is so busy. Tomorrow we still have to attend the banquet. "Luckily, there are only the three of us on our household register, or else we'd have to make the rounds toasting guests. "Now, this is great—we even saved the money for an MC." Qi Yuan waved his hand, in quite high spirits. To be honest, saving more money meant tucking away another sum toward buying Arch Star. "The guests have been notified, the hotel is booked, and now it's time to cultivate... martial arts!" Whenever Qi Yuan played a game, he never forgot the quest objectives. Martial arts was the quest. Canary and Xiao Jia were life. "Sister Xiao Jia and I are going to sunbathe!" Canary pulled Xiao Jia toward the balcony to soak in the sun. The apartment was filled with warmth and harmony. Returning to his bedroom, Qi Yuan continued his martial arts cultivation. Even though he had a cheat and could endlessly consume demon essence blood to boost his cultivation... Still, one had to put in the effort. "Converting martial blood-qi into a storage space... Who knew it would be this troublesome to cultivate? It actually takes... a whole night?" Qi Yuan had obtained this martial technique back at the stronghold in the Yellow Springs World. "Forget it. Cultivating the hard way is too much work. I'll just assign points." Qi Yuan decided laziness was the better path. He sat on the bed and closed his eyes. A faint, exotic fragrance drifted into his nostrils. He knew it was the scent of Canary. Unbidden, an image of Canary from earlier that day surfaced in his mind—her petite frame, her dazed expression, her shattered gaze. "Qi Yuan, oh Qi Yuan, be a hardworking man. Practice restraint!" "I only have fifty-odd drops of demon essence blood left. I have to budget." "You have used ten drops of demon essence blood to compress the blood-qi throughout your body, followed by expansion. "*Beep*... Blood-qi space successfully opened. Area: 0.01 cubic meters." Qi Yuan examined his interior and discovered an extra blood-qi space inside his body. "The space is a bit small... but it'll do. Good enough." Although he could use more demon essence blood to expand it, Qi Yuan chose not to. He had to save some demon essence blood for rainy days. He was powerful, but he still believed in preparing for danger in times of peace. "This session of diligent cultivation brought great rewards. "The greatest reward of all is the breakthrough in my sound effects. "That single 'beep' captures the absolute essence of a system." The more Qi Yuan thought about it, the prouder he felt. This sense of achievement was on par with skipping a stone seventeen times across water. "I wonder when the next quest... will begin?" "My demon essence blood is running low." With that in mind, Qi Yuan continued his cultivation. *** "What heavy rain." In a gloomy basement, Shen Yang looked at the damp floor, a flicker of worry in his eyes. The place where he lived was less than ten square meters, with a monthly rent of five hundred yuan. In a tier-one city like this, having a roof over his head was already considered quite decent. Unfortunately, someone had come by today to inform him that substandard low-rise shacks and basements were no longer permitted for living due to safety hazards. He naturally knew about the hazards, but who would live in a place like this if they had a choice? Last time, he had lived in a shack that resembled a countryside outhouse. A typhoon had blown the roof clean off, forcing him to move. He had finally found a new cramped den, only to be forced out again. "Sigh, making money is tough. But compared to toiling over a small plot of land back home, at least I can save a bit. There's hope." After a full day of hard labor, his back ached, his limbs were sore, and he had no strength left. His only relief was scrolling through short videos to pass the time and take the edge off his exhaustion. Deep down, he felt unwilling to accept his lot. He wanted to get ahead, but living in a world like this... what could he do? Just then, a video caught his eye. He paused, a look of envy surfacing on his face. "These rich elites are getting bolder and bolder. Showing off marriage certificates—three of them all at once—without even trying to hide it. "They ought to pass a law banning people from flaunting their wealth, or else us common folks will never find peace of mind." Shen Yang let his mind wander, then chuckled at himself. He tapped into the comment section to browse casually. *"Envy the rich every day!"* *"Master, teach me!"* *"Bro, you took two wives at once?!"* *"Couldn't hold back, reported!"* *"Don't get it twisted, he's not an elite, he's an immortal cultivation master! Didn't you see his last video where he was selling cultivation techniques?"* Seeing that comment, Shen Yang froze. "Cultivation techniques?" Shen Yang couldn't help recalling recent discussions online. "Is the world... really about to undergo a massive change? It's getting more and more surreal." First, there was the Martial Arts Tournament, where the champion, Qi Yuan, broke past the martial arts limit and blasted his opponent into a mist of blood with a single punch. Then, on Spider Island, celestial light shimmered, and tens of thousands of infant girl remains were discovered. Then, in the Qinyuan Kingdom, a national referendum was held to decide the life and death of the Mu family, one of the Seven Martial Stars. And then, an extra sun had appeared in the sky. All manner of bizarre occurrences were piling up one after another. Most citizens had a vague premonition that something earth-shattering was about to happen. Perhaps an upheaval unseen in a thousand years was unfolding right now. "If I became a cultivator, wouldn't I be able to marry two wives as well?" Shen Yang mused. Of course, it was just a daydream. If he ever became a cultivator, he would dedicate himself to helping the world. He tapped into the profile of the man who had married two wives and checked his very first video. "Cultivation technique... one hundred million?" "And it actually sold?!" "Could it... really be true?!" Shen Yang's heart skipped a beat, and he hit follow on the account. *Should I... take a bold gamble?* He knew that aside from background and birth, most people in this world had roughly similar talents. If one were bold enough, perhaps... unexpected rewards might follow. "A tip is required to send a direct message?" Shen Yang gritted his teeth, loaded money onto the platform, sent a tip, and then typed: *"Congratulations on your happy marriage!"* Right now, the previous video only had a few dozen comments, and those willing to send direct messages were likely few and far between. What was more, the paywall requirement had already driven away almost everyone. *** Night fell completely, and the full moon hung high, shedding pure, silvery radiance. "What a shame. This moon isn't like the one in the Canglan Realm." The moon of the Canglan Realm was the projection of Moon Goddess Yuanjun across the heavens. This moon was merely a satellite of Arch Star. "What, Husband? Do you want to return to the Canglan Realm?" The door pushed open gently, and a girl in a black slip dress entered the room. Her snow-white shoulders were exposed to the air, exuding the tender softness unique to a maiden. Her skin carried a sickly, snow-like pallor, though faint, lingering red marks could be seen upon it. Perhaps because her frame was so petite, the top edge of her slip hung loose against her jade-fair chest. With a slight downward glance, Qi Yuan could take in the enticing view in its entirety. "No. I can go back whenever I want, but the flow of time is different. The game isn't finished yet, so it's better to stay here," Qi Yuan answered earnestly. He naturally pulled Ning Tao into his embrace. "I need to stay here for at least a hundred years." To become the Human Dao Martial Master, he had to win the championship a hundred times. He had only won once so far! Ninety-nine times to go. Which meant ninety-nine years. "A hundred years is so short!" The girl held tightly to Qi Yuan's arm. "Don't worry. Now that my Divine Infant is fully realized, I can summon you to the Canglan Realm whenever I want. "As for... the Stellar Golden Core, it can hang in the sky on its own. "It probably... can swallow stars too." Hearing this, joy surfaced on the girl's face, but she quickly added, "No, your servant... still needs to stay up in the sky often to comprehend the Divine Domain." Upon the Stellar Golden Core, she existed constantly on the threshold between Oblivion and remembrance. To her, time itself was the foundation of her Divine Domain. Only on the Stellar Golden Core could she swiftly comprehend her Divine Domain and advance her strength. Anywhere else, it might take thousands, tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of years of slow progression. Staying on the Stellar Golden Core was the only way to accelerate her growth. She did not want to be dead weight like on Mount Jiupan, watching helplessly as he stepped into the Gate of Myriad Manifestations without being able to do anything. Even though she loved the feeling of being protected by him... She didn't want it to stay that way forever. Qi Yuan hesitated, lost in thought. "Your Divine Domain follows the Dao of Time. "I think... you could study for graduate school. The technology here is quite interesting. Maybe it'll give you insights into your Dao of Time." "Graduate school?" The girl blinked, seemingly pondering the idea seriously. "And get a doctorate while you're at it. Then you'll be a woman with a PhD," Qi Yuan said softly, before adding with a grin, "As the saying goes, 'The first slash of the sword upon reaching shore strikes down the sweetheart.' You won't kick me to the curb once you get your PhD, will you?" "You..." The girl feigned annoyance. "I'll kick you right now!" "Haha..." Qi Yuan chuckled. "Actually, I feel like immortal cultivation can also be considered a science. "In this universe, when a star grows old and dies, it might collapse into a black hole. "Tell me, if I let my Golden Core wither and die, would it turn into a black hole too? "A black hole is an unfathomable celestial body, far more terrifying than any star. "I even have a feeling that if I entered a black hole right now, I'd be instantly crushed to pieces." Of course, this was merely Qi Yuan's speculation. He had never entered a black hole, nor had he ever seen one. This universe... was rather peculiar. Or rather, it could only be considered a miniature universe, roughly the size of a single galaxy. Of course, it was also possible that Qi Yuan was still too weak to detect anything beyond it. "Something like that... you shouldn't try it unless you're absolutely certain." The girl was deeply concerned for him. "Don't worry, I've always been very prudent." If he weren't prudent, he would have trained his Divine Infant into a black hole already. After all, turning a Golden Core into an infant was remarkably similar to a star collapsing into a black hole. Of course, there was another reason: Qi Yuan couldn't bear to part with his Stellar Golden Core. Having a Golden Core hanging in the sky, illuminating the heavens—how cool was that? Besides, who said the Yang God Realm was the end of cultivation? His path of the Golden Core could reach the other shore just as well. Once he had more Golden Cores in the future, the heavens would be full of his suns. He could smash a few stars for fun and see if they turned into black holes. "Mm, your servant... must work hard too!" The girl nodded firmly. "Working hard is fine, just don't do it while I'm sleeping." Qi Yuan spoke up, gazing at the girl with a tender look in his eyes. "It must be lonely for you up on the sun all by yourself." "It's boiling hot up there. How could it be lonely?" The girl offered a charming smile, then seemed to remember something, her voice growing hesitant. "Husband, don't worry. If you miss your servant... you can call me down anytime. Your servant..." As she spoke, her movements grew bolder, shifting restlessly in Qi Yuan's embrace. Right then, a mischievous glint flashed in Qi Yuan's eyes. "Canary, stop pretending to be Ning Tao!" "Huh?" Canary's face flushed bright red, and her bold movements came to an abrupt halt. Flustered, she stammered, "Blood Pearl, you're talking nonsense!" In the next instant, her mouth was sealed shut, and her body stiffened. "Mmph..." A dozen breaths later, she was thoroughly subdued by Qi Yuan and pinned onto the bed. She pushed herself up, arching her back away from him and panting. "How did you know it was this young lady?!" "If it were Ning Tao, I'd be the one pinned down right now." Qi Yuan supported Canary's slender waist, a triumphant smile gleaming in his eyes. Naturally, he understood that Ning Tao was her, and Canary was also her. Both were the person he cherished. *** Inside the hotel banquet hall. Cold sweat beaded on the hotel manager's forehead. Yesterday, he had received a call from someone booking a wedding banquet at their venue. At first, he had thought it was a massive order. Turns out... one single table? He had actually found it rather... laughable and pathetic. Who booked only one table for a wedding? This guy was pitifully cheap, wasn't he? Still, business had been tough lately, so he had reserved a private dining room for the newlyweds and offered a discount. Who would have guessed that shortly after, a group of uninvited guests had arrived with specific instructions? Only then did he realize that the laughable and pathetic one was himself. A top-tier VIP was holding their wedding ceremony at his hotel. He had assumed they were high-ranking elites keeping a low profile, which was why they had chosen this place. A contingent of government officials had ordered the staff not to breathe a word about today's events. However... no one had told him that the bride wasn't just a single person. Well... strictly speaking, one of them was human, and the other wasn't. Serving tea and pouring water himself, the manager's legs shook uncontrollably the moment he entered the private room. Fortunately, he wasn't the only one losing his composure. Every man and woman raising a glass to drink in the room was trembling, terrified of spilling a drop. *Good heavens above!* The manager felt his entire worldview shattering. This was his very first time hosting a wedding for something... that wasn't human. Meanwhile, in the private room, Qi Yuan raised a glass filled with juice and swept his gaze over the guests. "Why isn't anyone smiling? Are you all naturally averse to smiling?" Carnival hastily plastered on a grin. "Mr. Qi, Miss Ning Tao is simply too breathtaking. We're all just a bit nervous." "Isn't Xiao Jia beautiful too?" Qi Yuan couldn't help chiming in. He never played favorites. "Beautiful!" Carnival nodded vigorously. Li Yan gripped her glass and nodded hard as well, mixed emotions churning in her chest. Remembering her past thoughts, she felt utterly ridiculous. Back then, she had found Qi Yuan handsome and even felt a spark of attraction toward him—though she felt that kind of spark for plenty of celebrities. The moment she learned Qi Yuan had a mental illness, she had stamped out that feeling entirely. After all, she couldn't afford the embarrassment. Now, seeing Qi Yuan's wives—one impossibly gorgeous Ning Tao, and the other... a bridal gown. She suddenly felt that her past self had been terrifyingly laughable. Different thoughts ran through the minds of everyone present. Wu Qi's body trembled slightly, barely able to suppress her bubbling excitement. Originally, her association with Qi Yuan had driven a wedge between her and her manager. She had toiled away as his chauffeur without receiving anything in return. Now... being able to attend this wedding made it all worth it. Just then, Qi Yuan's gaze landed on Zhong Niao's face. "Doctor, is your kidney deficiency cured yet?" At Qi Yuan's words, every single pair of eyes in the room snapped to Zhong Niao. If Mr. Qi said Zhong Niao had kidney deficiency, then she definitely had kidney deficiency. Still, she was so young—how had she ended up with kidney deficiency? Zhong Niao's face flushed crimson, but she couldn't help protesting, "I don't have kidney deficiency!" Originally, she had come here to persuade Qi Yuan not to ruin some poor girl's life. After all, a lunatic getting married would only drag the other person down. When she saw that the victim was... a bridal gown, all the arguments she had prepared dissolved in her throat. What was there left to say? She might be a bit willful, but she wasn't stupid. She didn't want to get beaten to death. "How about giving me some of your blood? I can study your kidney deficiency for you," Qi Yuan suggested again. Now that he had reached the Golden Core Realm, he had vaguely detected something unusual in the blood of Wu Qi and that child he had brought back from the Guiran people. To him, it was indeed immensely useful. It could nourish divine souls. Back in the Mortal Heart Realm, Qi Yuan had formed the Divine Infants of Primordial Chaos Gods and Demons. Those Divine Infants were him, yet also not him; they still retained a sliver of true spirit. Right now, however, they were all in deep slumber. He had placed them inside the Ancient Tiankun Mirror to be nourished. Now, he had found a far better place. People like Wu Qi. When the time came, he could lodge the Divine Infants inside such individuals. Within their bodies, an old grandfather or old grandmother would reside. These grandfathers and grandmothers would awaken occasionally to guide them, enhancing their strength and thereby nourishing their own divine souls until they truly awakened. Once those Divine Infants awakened on their own and turned into his subjects, they would be able to cultivate independently. With the foundation of visualizing powerful Blue Star gods and demons, coupled with the resources of the mysterious alien legacy land... The cultivation speed of these subjects would be astonishing. Their potential was limitless. Every single one could become a Yang God! When that time came, to what heights would Qi Yuan's own strength soar? Of course, this was merely a daydream for now. Presently, Qi Yuan was merely a humble Origin Core cultivator. Summoning the Divine Infants required reaching the Divine Infant Realm, which was still a long way off. Perhaps by then, spiritual qi would have already revived in this world. Countless immortal cultivation worlds would border this one, and numerous cultivation sects would descend to recruit disciples and pass down their legacies. At that time, Qi Yuan might just go around handing out old grandpas and grandmas to snatch disciples away from those sects. In Qi Yuan's eyes, Doctor Zhong Niao was somewhat similar to Wu Qi, yet distinct. That was why Qi Yuan wanted a drop of her blood to investigate. "I don't have kidney deficiency, and I'm not giving you my blood!" Zhong Niao said with total vigilance. Having dealt with Qi Yuan many times, she wasn't particularly afraid of him. "What a pity. You might have just lost yourself a grandma," Qi Yuan lamented. He never forced anyone. "My grandma passed away a long time ago!" Zhong Niao countered again. "That's why I was planning to recommend a grandma to you. If you like, I can recommend a grandpa too," Qi Yuan offered generously. He had over four thousand Divine Infants; he needed to find more candidates. Yet as of now, the only qualified ones were Wu Qi, along with Yaji and his little sister, whom he had brought back from the Wugui Kingdom. Doctor Zhong might count as half. "No need, thank you!" Zhong Niao was beginning to suspect that Qi Yuan's condition had worsened. "Did you take the medicine I prescribed for you last time?" Out of a doctor's compassion, she asked anyway. Qi Yuan was speechless. "You'd better worry about your own kidney deficiency first. Looking at you, you haven't slept well in a long time. If you keep having nightmares, you might drop dead one of these days." Hearing this, Zhong Niao's face turned pale. Those dreams were truly terrifying and deeply horrifying. Qi Yuan then turned to Wu Qi. "How about I give you a grandma in a while?" Wu Qi was completely bewildered. Why was he giving her a grandma too? She wasn't as bold as Zhong Niao, so she could only grit her teeth and agree. "Okay! I'll definitely treat her like my own biological grandmother!" "I might not just give you a first grandma, but a second one too—maybe even a little granny on the side." Qi Yuan spoke with zero filter. Wu Qi could only smile and reply, "Okay!" Wang Xu watched the exchange, grinning foolishly. The conversation here was far too sophisticated for him to understand. Glasses were raised and toasts were shared; the wedding feast was full of joy and warmth. After seeing everyone off, Qi Yuan put an arm around Ning Tao, took Xiao Jia's hand, and flashed back to his apartment in the blink of an eye. Qi Yuan said lazily, "I finally got to eat at my own banquet. Even if it was a wedding feast. Missing my own funeral feast will probably be... the greatest regret of my remaining years." Not attending his own funeral and not eating at his own funeral banquet was truly one of life's three greatest regrets. If asked what the other two regrets were, Qi Yuan wouldn't know either, because he had made it all up on the spot. "We can always hold a makeup ceremony!" Canary suggested eagerly. Her body was petite, charming, and lovely. She had to give a little hop just to meet Qi Yuan's eyes, so Qi Yuan always picked her up whenever he kissed her. "Forget it. It's bad luck," Qi Yuan said lazily. Then, with a flick of his hand: "Look what I bought for you." Canary quickly took it and unwrapped the package in Qi Yuan's hand. Her face instantly turned bright red, and she gritted her teeth. "It's still daytime, Blood Pearl!" "Hey, what are you imagining? Aren't you going to study for graduate school? It's a school uniform I bought for you!" "Huh?" Canary's blush deepened even further. "I've already pulled some strings so you can take the entrance exam right here in Tianyue City!" Qi Yuan said smugly. "Hmph!" Canary nodded. "This young lady is studying for grad school. What about you?" "I'll practice martial arts, of course. Besides... I have a hunch the quest in the Yellow Springs World is about to arrive. I have to go in and clear it." "What a shame this young lady can't go in. Sigh... studying... is so annoying!"