Let's Get a Divorce!

When Qi Yuan logged back into the game, he felt an overwhelming urge to post a video. "Brothers and sisters, what should I do? My family just arranged a ghost wedding for me!" He would pair it with a goofy bowl-cut filter, too. If it were on a certain short-video app, the comments would probably read, *Hang in there, sis.* If it were on a certain forum, they would probably say, *Lucky you, bro.* Of course, those were just stereotypes. Neither of those responses would solve Qi Yuan’s current dilemma. He stared at his new bride. He dearly wanted to get a good look at her face, her eyes, her arms, and her thighs. Looking at one's own bride wasn't unreasonable, was it? The only problem was that this bride... had no face. Not only did she lack a face, but she also had no hands and no legs. And no... jade feet. "Sigh, I just took a nap. How on earth did I end up married to an NPC?" Qi Yuan found himself in what looked like a bridal chamber. Paper cuttings were pasted on the windows, featuring the character for double happiness. Except, the moment he logged into the game, he and his bride were lying flat side by side on a wooden slab. His bride was a bright red bridal gown, vintage Chinese style—the exact kind seen in ghost movies. If one looked closely enough, they could almost imagine a delicate, graceful, enchanting bride inside. He stared at the robe monster—or rather, the bridal gown monster—before him. With a face full of helplessness, he said, "I really want to just finish you off with one sword strike and take you as an EXP pack." As if understanding Qi Yuan's words, the crimson bridal gown shrank back a bit. In the end, though, Qi Yuan didn't kill this NPC. Back when he had fought the Lord of the Forbidden Zone, the Ugly Robe Monster Sovereign, that blood-red gas had invaded Qi Yuan's body. To him, the gas had been extraordinarily troublesome, constantly eroding his stats and even attempting to slowly seize control of his body. Yet that red gas had been completely dispelled with the help of this bridal gown monster—Qi Yuan's bride. Someone had just done him a favor; how could he have the cheek to turn her into an EXP pack? Besides, this bridal gown monster seemed to possess a degree of intelligence. She wasn't like those other robe monsters who attacked on sight, bent on killing Qi Yuan. Looking at the bridal gown monster sitting on the slab just a step away from him, he asked slowly, "Who are you? What's your name?" The bridal gown monster didn't answer, remaining entirely motionless. "No name?" "Don't remember?" "Then I'll call you..." "Xiao Hong?" "Xiao Guai?" "Xiao Jia!" In the end, Qi Yuan settled on a name for the bridal gown monster. Her name was tentatively set as Xiao Jia. Unfortunately, Xiao Jia was faceless and shameless, armless and legless... unless sleeves and trouser legs counted as arms and legs, in which case she had them. "Sigh, I got a wife for nothing." Qi Yuan didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This wife still couldn't communicate with him normally. "Why did you perform the wedding ceremony with me?" Qi Yuan tried to converse with Xiao Jia again, even though she didn't seem capable of it. To his surprise, Xiao Jia didn't remain unresponsive this time. From her red sleeve, a wooden plaque dropped out. The plaque was made of an ancient material and bore two characters. "Husband?" Indeed, the characters read *Husband*. "You want me to be your husband? So you took advantage of my logging off to perform the wedding ceremony with me?" Qi Yuan was speechless. He had actually encountered an existence more absurd than himself. And she was an NPC, no less. "No way. We haven't registered at the Civil Affairs Bureau, so it doesn't count!" Qi Yuan continued. He had no desire to marry a piece of clothing. Granted, people said brothers were like hands and feet while women were like clothes, but you couldn't be an *actual* piece of clothing, could you? Otherwise, how would they manage married life? Xiao Jia's sleeve gripped Qi Yuan's arm tightly, refusing to let go. She couldn't speak, but her actions spoke for her. Qi Yuan sighed helplessly. "Since you can communicate with wooden plaques, at least bring out a few more and tell me more about yourself." He looked closely, but the information displayed about Xiao Jia was sparse. [Xiao Jia: The bride you wed with an eight-bearer sedan chair.] Xiao Jia's sleeve trembled, and eight wooden plaques spilled out from it. "Where did these come from?" Qi Yuan stared at Xiao Jia's sleeve. "Can I reach inside to look?" Xiao Jia didn't retreat, which meant she didn't refuse. Qi Yuan reached his hand into her sleeve, groping where her chest, appendix, and liver ought to be, only to... grasp nothing but empty air. Xiao Jia, meanwhile, seemed to have an intense reaction and collapsed directly to the floor. Qi Yuan refrained from searching any further. He helped Xiao Jia back up and examined the eight wooden plaques. One had an illustration of a man with the word *Husband*. One had an illustration of a bridal gown with the word *Wife*. One had a smiling face. One had a crying face. One had an illustration of a snuggle. One had a hand holding a sleeve. One had an illustration of sleeping. One had an illustration of lying on a wooden slab. "Were you an emoji wholesaler in your past life?" Qi Yuan couldn't resist mocking. Seeing that Xiao Jia could use plaques to express her thoughts, he immediately conducted a few tests. For example, he carved some new wooden plaques for Xiao Jia so she could express other thoughts. To his disappointment, it didn't work. Xiao Jia could only produce those eight plaques. It seemed her entire world could only be expressed through those eight images. "Sigh, let's get a divorce," Qi Yuan said. "Our relationship has broken down. I'm filing for divorce." Xiao Jia gripped Qi Yuan's arm tightly, and a plaque slid down, bearing the image of a hand holding a sleeve. "You can help me?" For some reason, Qi Yuan seemed to understand what the image meant. It carried both the plea for him not to leave and the promise that she could aid him. His interest piqued, Qi Yuan looked at Xiao Jia. Right then, Xiao Jia's entire icy body pressed against him. A peculiar change occurred at that very moment. Inside the bridal chamber, the blood-red bridal gown dissolved into specks of crimson light, settling upon Qi Yuan's body like red fireflies. In less than a ten-thousandth of an instant, the red fireflies morphed into a suit of crimson armor, draping over Qi Yuan's body and covering him entirely, leaving only his eyes exposed. From a distance, the armor appeared blood-red, resembling flowing blood. Yet this fluid-like plating gave Qi Yuan an immense sense of security. Exquisite and beautiful, mysterious and formidable. Clad in the blood armor and gripping his great sword, Qi Yuan's height shot up to ten meters. At this moment, he looked like a terrifying demon striding through hell. Qi Yuan sensed a tattoo of a bridal gown imprinted upon his chest. The tattoo was identical to Xiao Jia. He could feel that the bridal gown pattern was Xiao Jia's true form. The blood armor was merely the defense Xiao Jia bestowed upon him, not her actual self. Qi Yuan looked down at himself, stunned. "Level 93?" By donning Xiao Jia—or rather, fusing with her—his level had abruptly jumped by five, reaching Level 93. However, he faintly sensed that this boost was temporary. Even so, excitement coursed through him. That was five whole levels! A five-level increase was a tremendous leap for Qi Yuan; grinding monsters would no longer be nearly as tedious. If he encountered the Level 95 Ugly Robe Monster Sovereign again, he wouldn't need to flee right away. He would actually stand a fighting chance. In a one-on-one fight, Qi Yuan even had a fair shot at victory. Of course, that "one-on-one" meant him and Xiao Jia together against the Ugly Robe Monster Sovereign. Just then, another unexpected event occurred. He simultaneously unlocked two skills. One major skill, and one minor skill. Every thirty levels, Qi Yuan could obtain a major skill that could also be used in the real world. Every ten levels, he obtained a minor skill. By fusing with Xiao Jia, Qi Yuan's level broke through Level 90, granting him both skills at once. The major skill was [Share the Same Robe], while the minor skill was [Robe Rend].