Mother-in-Law, Are You Taking a Bath Tonight?

"What are you talking about?" Zhishuang gritted her pearly teeth, wanting nothing more than to toss Qi Yuan straight into the Madhouse. "Son-in-law, please remember your station!" "My station? Am I not a matrilocal husband?" Qi Yuan mused aloud. "Does being a matrilocal husband mean I can't ride you?" "Hmph! Young Master is a heavenly god descended to the mortal realm! Riding you is your honor!" Chen Kangbao chimed in with utter gravity from the side. "Hey, don't talk nonsense. She's not up to par; I don't want to ride her." The two bantered back and forth as if running a comedy duo, infuriating Zhishuang to no end and making her delicate brows knit in frustration. *** Viewed on a map, Jining Prefecture was long and narrow, shaped somewhat like the character "jia" (夹). Fengshan Commandery was situated near the upper-left dot of the character. If Jining Prefecture were considered a province, Fengshan Commandery would be its provincial capital. Fengshan Commandery was also known as Tu City. The Tu family was the foremost aristocratic clan in Fengshan Commandery, boasting extraordinary power and influence. Their Third Young Master had even married the daughter of King Zhennan. At that moment, Third Young Master Tu leaned against the railing of an upper pavilion, a white jade pendant hanging at his waist, his robes embroidered with intricate cloud patterns. "Brother Kaixuan, I heard you went to Ninghe County recently. Did anything amusing happen?" Third Young Master Tu asked casually, swirling a wine cup in his hand. "Nothing much. I only went to see a friend." Wang Kaixuan was a man with narrow, slitted eyes and a mean, pinched face. Third Young Master Tu chuckled. "It seems you're still obsessing over that Eldest Miss Shen..." "Miss Shen is a woman of heavenly beauty. Who wouldn't obsess over her?" A thick layer of greed surfaced in Wang Kaixuan's eyes. "Brother, your methods were far too crude. Miss Shen is exceptionally clever. Once she returns from Yeshan Lake, she'll likely see through the whole scheme at a glance." "By the time she returns, that matrilocal husband will already be dead!" Wang Kaixuan declared with delight. Third Young Master Tu smiled, finding Wang Kaixuan more and more brainless by the second. Did he really think he could win a beauty's heart with such clumsy tricks? Besides, even Third Young Master Tu wouldn't dare provoke Eldest Miss Shen, let alone a nobody like Wang Kaixuan. If not for certain reasons, he wouldn't even be meeting with Wang Kaixuan in the first place. "I heard a major event took place in Ninghe County over the past couple of days," Third Young Master Tu said, fixing his gaze on Wang Kaixuan's eyes. "Oh? What major event?" "A powerful guiling appeared in Red Cloud Stockade, capable of launching divine soul attacks. Only a Mystic-rank weapon wielder could stand against it." "Then Red Cloud Stockade is finished," Wang Kaixuan replied indifferently, caring nothing for the fall of a single village. "No. Just then, an old man and a youth suddenly appeared at Red Cloud Stockade and slaughtered the guiling," Third Young Master Tu continued. "Oh..." Wang Kaixuan still seemed unimpressed. "You were in Ninghe County recently, so I wanted to ask if you happened to see those two experts," Third Young Master Tu said, a heavy look of wariness creeping onto his face. The news he had received was downright horrifying. Eighty-seven Yellow-rank guiling had been slain one by one by that young man wielding a spear. And that young man had proclaimed himself a deity descended into the mortal world. "Red Cloud Stockade is no ordinary place. According to my sources, it was a spirit-rearing ground for Thorn Blood. There were... a full eighty-seven Yellow-rank guiling there, yet that young man effortlessly killed every last one!" "What?" Wang Kaixuan was finally shaken. There was a monster like that out there? With strength like that, he would likely rank on the State of Ning's Prodigy Roll. Eldest Miss Shen happened to be in the top ten of that very Prodigy Roll. Anyone listed on the State of Ning's Prodigy Roll had hope of breaking into Earth-rank and becoming a true regional Hegemon. It was precisely because of this that seeing Eldest Miss Shen marry down to a useless bum like Qi Yuan filled him with bitter envy and resentment. "Did they have any distinguishing features?" Wang Kaixuan asked. "The weapon the young man wielded was very peculiar—a thick, extraordinarily long spear!" Third Young Master Tu said. Generally, spears were long and slender; very few people wielded a thick spear. Wang Kaixuan shook his head. "Ninghe County is just a backwater. I never saw the person you're describing." "He proclaimed himself a heavenly god descended to the mortal realm. I have no idea where he truly hails from." Third Young Master Tu's gaze grew deep and pensive. He possessed a special identity and had spent years investigating Thorn Blood, even going so far as to conceal his identity and become a member of their ranks. Unfortunately, he had never managed to penetrate their inner core or grasp the true depths of that colossal beast. "Hmph, how arrogant of him to dare call himself a heavenly god descended to earth," Wang Kaixuan sneered with disdain. Third Young Master Tu was long accustomed to Wang Kaixuan's attitude. After all, even within the Wang family, Wang Kaixuan was held in little regard. Right then, Wang Kaixuan's expression suddenly twisted in shock. "That matrilocal husband, Qi Yuan... how is he not dead?!" Leaning against the high pavilion's railing, he looked down at the streets of Fengshan Commandery, particularly the broad avenue outside the Shen residence. With a single glance, he spotted a familiar figure outside the Shen family compound. It was Qi Yuan! Wang Kaixuan's face shifted through multiple expressions. "Young Master Tu, could you accompany me to the Shen family? I need to..." "No, I have other matters to attend to." Third Young Master Tu knit his brows slightly, looking at Wang Kaixuan as though looking at an idiot. The Wang family had shielded him far too well; the fool didn't even know his own weight. What Third Young Master Tu cared about most right now was that man who claimed to be a descended heavenly god. Since that man had slaughtered so many guiling belonging to Thorn Blood, if they came into close contact, the artifact he had acquired from Thorn Blood would sense the residual bloody aura and expose the man's identity. As for the matrilocal husband Qi Yuan, he did want to meet him to ask about that mysterious weapon wielder who claimed to be a descended heavenly god, but not right now. After all, with something like this happening in Ninghe County, the Shen family would undoubtedly ground Qi Yuan. *** "Once we confront Lao Zhong, the truth of what happened in Ninghe County will come to light!" Zhishuang said, glaring at Qi Yuan with a face as cold as frost. "Mm. I'd like to see who put that old geezer up to framing me as well." Qi Yuan stretched his back lazily. Chen Kangbao looked toward the grand manor ahead, his eyes shining. "Young Master, following you, this old servant lives better than an emperor—ten steamed buns a meal!" "What a pity my wife is so young. If only she were eighty or ninety years old," Qi Yuan remarked casually. That way, he could comfortably live off her wealth. He might even get to attend a funeral feast before long and inherit a massive fortune. A glint of chill flashed in Zhishuang's eyes, but she held her tongue. She had long grown numb to the bizarre remarks coming out of the two of them. "Aaargh! You dare bully my sister and put a green hat on her head?! You're dead!" A furious shout erupted from the courtyard. A slender young man stormed out, with ruby lips, white teeth, and looks handsome enough to rival Pan An. He was hugging an enormous log of wood, charging out aggressively to beat someone up. "Young Master, don't, please don't!" A flock of male servants and maids trailed frantically behind him. "Watch out, don't drop it on yourself!" The handsome youth clutched the massive timber, his face flushed red with rage as he glared furiously at Qi Yuan. "Don't talk nonsense," Qi Yuan said calmly, looking at Shen Lingfeng. This was the matrilocal husband Qi Yuan's brother-in-law. The original Qi Yuan had only met him once, and they barely knew each other. "You still dare deny it?! I heard you got lustful toward that widow!" Shen Lingfeng roared, clutching the giant log. Zhishuang could not help pressing a hand to her forehead. Qi Yuan's supposed misdeeds in Ninghe County had damaged the Shen family's honor, so only a small circle within the manor had been informed. Yet Shen Lingfeng had just bawled it at the top of his lungs, blowing the lid off the entire affair. Though the servants and maids were ostensibly trying to stop Shen Lingfeng, their ears were practically twitching with gossip. *What? The son-in-law... cheated on the Eldest Miss?* *How could he dare?!* *That's the Eldest Miss, a peerless beauty!* "Young Master, watch your words!" Zhishuang sighed. The young mistress was so brilliantly sharp; why was her brother such a reckless blockhead? After today, everyone in the Shen manor would probably know that the matrilocal husband Qi Yuan had supposedly cuckolded the Eldest Miss. And once the Shen manor knew, how long before all of Fengshan Commandery found out? "Watch my words my ass! I'll beat him to death!" Clutching the giant log, Shen Lingfeng charged straight at Qi Yuan. *Thud!* "Ah! Young Master, watch out!" Well, he didn't hit Qi Yuan. Instead, he tripped over his own feet, tumbled hard, and ended up pinned beneath the massive timber. The servants and maids panicked and rushed forward to haul the heavy log off him. Shen Lingfeng scrambled to his feet, panting heavily, and glared at Qi Yuan with renewed fury. "I'm going to—" "Enough!" a cold rebuke rang out. The servants and maids hastily bowed their heads, greeting the newcomer with utmost respect: "Madam!" The person who arrived was none other than the mistress of the Shen household—Shen Lingfeng's mother. She appeared to be in her thirties, yet the years seemed to have left scarcely a mark upon her, leaving her radiant and strikingly beautiful. Her figure was exquisitely curved, bearing the voluptuous allure unique to a mature woman. Her dark hair was swept up and secured with a tilted gold hairpin, revealing a clean, graceful forehead. Her features were remarkably stunning. Even now she was so lush and captivating; in her youth, she must have been a peerless beauty beyond description. *Mother-in-law?* Qi Yuan recognized her. He wondered to himself whether he ought to fetch bathwater for his mother-in-law tonight. After all, that was the sort of thing a dutiful matrilocal son-in-law was supposed to do. "Madam, I have brought the son-in-law back. He claims the incident in Ninghe County was a frame-up and that everything will become clear once we confront Lao Zhong!" Zhishuang reported with her head bowed respectfully. "Lao Zhong is dead," Madam Shen stated flatly. "What? Dead?" Zhishuang's face changed. Didn't that mean the dead could bear no witness? "He must have panicked that his dirty deeds would come to light and murdered Lao Zhong to silence him!" Shen Lingfeng blurted out at once. Having said that, he looked quite smug, congratulating himself on his quick wit! Madam Shen shot a helpless glance at her blockheaded son. "Lao Zhong's body was discovered this morning. According to the examination... he has already been dead for half a month." "Half a month?!" At these words, Zhishuang's expression shifted drastically. Half a month ago, Lao Zhong and the son-in-law hadn't even set out for Ninghe County. Yet... Lao Zhong had died half a month ago. Then who had accompanied the son-in-law to Ninghe County? A chill crept up Zhishuang's spine, turning this ice-cold beauty even colder. Her brows furrowed as she realized a conspiracy was at play. It felt as though an invisible hand were manipulating everything from the shadows. Could this plot be aimed at the young mistress? Had she truly wronged the son-in-law all along? At the thought, guilt welled up inside Zhishuang. "Even if Lao Zhong is dead and can't testify, we can't just let him off for cheating on my sister!" Shen Lingfeng chimed in cleverly. Unfortunately, not a single person paid him any attention. "Qi Yuan, what happened in Ninghe County was clearly a misunderstanding. For the next few days, stay inside the Shen manor and try not to go out," Madam Shen said calmly. "I will help you uncover the real mastermind behind this." Zhishuang hesitated, opening her mouth as if to speak, but stopped herself. Shen Lingfeng stood there completely dazed; his brain simply lacked the capacity to process something so complicated. "Mother-in-law?" Qi Yuan called out softly. *Hm?* Madam Shen glanced at Qi Yuan. The address felt rather odd. Who called their mother-in-law "Mother-in-law" like that? "What is it?" "Are you taking a bath tonight?" Qi Yuan asked boldly. "..." "I mean bathing!" Qi Yuan clarified, worried she hadn't understood. "..." "As a matrilocal husband, I ought to contribute something to this household. Fetching bathwater for my mother-in-law is my bounden duty! Mother-in-law, just call for me when you bathe, and I will personally pour the bathwater for you!" The moment these words left his mouth, every servant and maid in the courtyard stared at Qi Yuan in utter shock and horror. Who... who on earth talked like that? Pouring bathwater for his mother-in-law—what in the world was he trying to do? Could there be... an illicit affair?! Madam Shen's almond eyes narrowed slightly, as though reining in a surge of fury. With a sharp flick of her sleeves, she turned and walked away. Seeing this, Zhishuang hurriedly followed after her. "Madam, when the son-in-law was in Ninghe County, he was locked in the Madhouse. His divine soul may have suffered damage, which is why he speaks so deliriously. Please forgive him, Madam!" Thinking of how she had misunderstood him the entire journey, treating him like some vile rogue who assaulted women, Zhishuang felt a pang of guilt. "Sigh," Madam Shen let out a soft breath. "These are turbulent times." "Regarding this matter, the son-in-law said that Wang Kaixuan's shadow lies behind it," Zhishuang said after a moment of reflection. "He... is only marginally smarter than Lingfeng. He is likely serving as a pawn for others without even realizing it," Madam Shen remarked coolly, a sudden flash of killing intent surfacing in her eyes. "Go pay a visit to the Wang family. If they refuse to hand over Wang Kaixuan, tell them I will personally pay them a visit!" The Wang family was a prominent clan, but compared to the Shen family, there was a vast gulf between them. Hearing this, Zhishuang felt her heart tighten. She knew the Madam was truly angered. "Marrying into my Shen family makes him a member of the Shen family. To dare touch one of ours is nothing short of courting death!" *** "Young Master, what do you think about taking that woman from just now as your mount?" Chen Kangbao suggested from the side while munching on a steamed bun, displaying the keen initiative of an advisor. "She is my mother-in-law, which counts as a relative. If I rode her and someone found out, they might report me for incest!" Qi Yuan replied, demonstrating his unwavering moral principles. Chen Kangbao froze for a second upon hearing that. "Then why did you want to take your wife as a mount, Young Master? She's also your relative. If someone saw you, wouldn't they report you for incest too?" Qi Yuan grew thoughtful, finding a shred of logic in that. He fired up his brilliant brain, and an instant realization struck him. "Even the Moron Forum wouldn't accept you!" He had almost been led astray by Chen Kangbao. "Brother-in-law, I'm here to apologize. I misunderstood you—you didn't put a green hat on my sister!" A voice called out as the slender-framed Shen Lingfeng walked over, an embarrassed expression on his face. Perhaps when God closed a door for someone, He opened a window for them. In Shen Lingfeng's case, every door was slammed shut, while his sister had every single window thrown wide open. Eldest Miss Shen was brilliantly clever and peerlessly talented, the polar opposite of Shen Lingfeng's rash, blockheaded temperament. Of course, such a temperament was not entirely innate; it was closely tied to the artifact Shen Lingfeng wielded. To a certain extent, an artifact could influence a weapon wielder's personality. "It's fine. As long as the misunderstanding is cleared up," Qi Yuan said casually. This brother-in-law wasn't a bad person; he was just remarkably dim. "Sigh, I always thought you were a cowardly incompetent, Brother-in-law, having nothing to show for yourself except a handsome face. Who knew that when I charged at you so aggressively today, you wouldn't even flinch in the face of danger!" Shen Lingfeng remarked, his face full of admiration. "I truly can't compare to you." "Mother always said that among three people walking together, there must be one who can be my teacher. Brother-in-law, I'll be learning plenty from you from now on!" Shen Lingfeng chattered away rapidly. Precisely because of his personality, Madam Shen constantly reminded him to observe more and learn from others. "Learn what?" Qi Yuan asked offhandedly. As a matrilocal husband, was he supposed to tutor his sister-in-law in her studies? Since there was no sister-in-law, tutoring his brother-in-law would have to do. Shen Lingfeng paused, then leaned in and whispered conspiratorially, "Brother-in-law, you're so young and already have a wife, while I don't even have a... cough, cough. I want to learn how to..." "Pick up girls?" Qi Yuan looked at Shen Lingfeng with a calm, composed expression. "I have plenty of experience with that!" The moment that topic came up, Qi Yuan was instantly energized.