"Brother-in-law, teach me!"
Shen Lingfeng's eyes gleamed with excitement. "I've been pursuing Miss Li, but she always treats me with cold indifference!"
Qi Yuan cleared his throat, adopting an unfathomable demeanor. "Before formulating a plan, we must first analyze both parties' strengths and weaknesses. Give me an honest assessment of Miss Li—and yourself."
"Miss Li is as gorgeous as a flower, with captivating peach-blossom eyes that can hook a man's soul. When she drapes a gauzy shawl over her shoulders, her figure is faintly discernible, utterly mesmerizing."
"As for me... I'm a man, but Miss Li complains that I'm too frail and scrawny."
"Understood." Qi Yuan grasped the dynamic between the offense and the defense.
He pondered for a moment, recalling the past between himself and Jin Li.
"To break this deadlock, you need online dating!"
"Online dating?" Shen Lingfeng blinked, finding the term profoundly mystical.
As expected of his brother-in-law, to even understand such advanced concepts.
"During online dating, the other person cannot see you. Your entire image depends entirely on her imagination.
"Under such circumstances, you only need to craft the persona of a high-EQ, gentle, humorous gentleman. Since she can't see you, the image of you in her mind will naturally become tall, noble, and articulate.
"However, looking at how dense you are, you probably don't even own a Nokia. In that case... write letters," Qi Yuan shared earnestly from his well of experience.
Compared to meeting in person, online dating indeed had a much lower threshold.
After all, an offline encounter could result in immediate rejection upon first sight, ending the story before it could even begin.
Online was different; it easily made people infatuated. The other person's looks and charm were entirely products of one's own imagination.
And how could something conjured by one's own imagination ever be flawed?
This was the reason why even the real person could never defeat an idealized white moonlight.
Shen Lingfeng's eyes widened. "That makes sense! Since ancient times, countless talented scholars and fair maidens have forged romantic bonds through letters!"
Soon, however, his brows furrowed in thought. "But... I don't know how to craft the image that Miss Yang would like?"
"Simple. Drop some high-EQ quotes along with witty, charming romantic lines, and you'll definitely move her heart," Qi Yuan said solemnly.
In his past life, hadn't a certain son of China's richest man loved spouting cheesy romantic lines too?
"Come, let me help you brainstorm a few witty romantic lines.
"'Babe, I went for an IV drip today. What kind of drip? Thinking of you every single drip!'"
"What does that mean?" Shen Lingfeng's brain completely failed to process it.
"Right, your world doesn't have IV drips.
"Let's try another!
"'Do you know why I only eat fish heads? Because I want to leave the rest of my life to you!'
"'There is no wine in your dimples, yet I'm drunk as a dog!'
"'I bought a bag of salt today. Guess what kind of salt? Loving you beyond any words!'
"'Do you have body odor? If not, why are you as bewitching as a vixen?'"
Qi Yuan recited the witty romantic lines floating in his mind.
As for the vulgar ones—such as "I let out a very loud fart today, but it wasn't as loud as my longing for you"—he deleted them outright.
In Qi Yuan's view, such lines were only suitable for couples who had been together for a long time.
"Brilliant!"
"Words can actually be strung together like this?!"
"Brother-in-law, you're simply incredible! Why didn't I ever think of this?"
"Dimples and wine—they can actually be connected that way!"
Shen Lingfeng was wildly thrilled, as if he had just received words of absolute wisdom.
Chen Kangbao gave a big thumbs-up as well. "Young Master is simply peerless!"
Hearing their praise, Qi Yuan felt rather smug.
When protagonists in television shows transmigrated and recited poetry, they drew gasps of admiration from everyone present.
Now, he was enjoying the very same glory.
"However, online dating is online dating. Writing letters is merely the first step. The second step... is the net!
"That is the true essence of net romance!"
"Brother-in-law, please enlighten me!" Shen Lingfeng listened intently, looking as though he were absorbing the teachings of the Great Dao.
"Writing a letter to one woman can only be called unrequited love. Writing to two women is called double love. But writing letters to every young, beautiful woman in the entire city—only that can be called net romance!"
"Do you wish to pursue only Miss Li, or do you want to cast your net over all the beauties in the city?" Qi Yuan asked temptingly.
Shen Lingfeng's expression twisted in profound conflict, an intense struggle raging within his heart.
"It's fine, no rush. Take your time to think it over."
"Brother-in-law... can I write a bit fewer? If I write to every woman in the city, my hand will break!"
Just thinking about having to write tens of thousands of letters every day made Shen Lingfeng's hand throb with phantom pain.
"No matter, write as many as you like. Did you remember the quotes I just gave you? Be sure to include them in the letters."
"Understood! I'll go write them right away!" Shen Lingfeng was a man of action and dashed off without delay.
"*Sigh*, performing good deeds every day without asking for reward—I truly am far too kind.
"When his sister returns and sees how much her brother has improved, she'll definitely be deeply moved," Qi Yuan sighed.
Another day, another good deed done.
"Young Master, I have a doubt." Chen Kangbao poked his head forward. As the Heavenly God's strategist, he had to provide counsel at all times. "Young Master's romantic lines are indeed ingenious and touching, but people are all different. What if... someone dislikes one of the lines?"
"Net romance is about casting a net; there are bound to be fish that slip through. If she dislikes it, she can simply swim out of the net," Qi Yuan said nonchalantly. "When you write to that many people, someone is bound to fall for it, right?"
Casting a wide net and reeling in the catch vigorously was always the universal truth.
What if there was someone with refined taste just like his, who happened to adore such romantic lines?
"To give a simple example: why do scammers use scripts full of glaring flaws, yet so many people still fall for them?
"Because from the very start, they never intended to deceive people who could spot the flaws!
"Identifying the target clientele is what truly matters!"
Chen Kangbao was utterly dumbfounded, feeling only that Qi Yuan was unfathomably profound.
***
The hall was brightly illuminated.
Shen Wanshan sat squarely in the head seat, his expression grave.
His exquisite silk robe bore intricate patterns, and a soft sword hung at his waist—his magical armament, an Earth armament.
Shen Wanshan was the patriarch of the Shen family and one of the family's few Earth-rank weapon wielders.
An Earth-rank weapon wielder was a hegemon of a region, dominating across lands; upon encountering three thousand elite armored soldiers, they could slaughter their way through without retreating a single step.
"I have just returned from Yeshan Lake, and the situation there is far from optimistic.
"Luotong River Lord has attained full power, merging entirely with the waters.
"The Heavenly Sect rallied numerous Earth-rank weapon wielders, and even Sorrowful Wind Hand Wei Kun, ranked among the top twenty of the Earth Ranking, rushed to Yeshan Lake—yet they were entirely powerless against Luotong River Lord!"
Deep within Yeshan Lake dwelt a powerful guiling known as Luotong River Lord.
Earth-rank guiling were mysterious and unpredictable. Their raw combat strength might be comparable to that of an Earth-rank weapon wielder, but their destructive power far exceeded it, and they possessed all manner of bizarre abilities.
Luotong River Lord, for instance, had fused with Yeshan Lake.
Yeshan Lake was the largest lake in Jiangzhou, spanning over a hundred li in every direction, far larger than an ordinary county seat.
After merging with the lake, Luotong River Lord stirred up tempestuous waves, not only stripping hundreds of thousands of fishermen of their livelihood, but even threatening to summon floods that could submerge Jining Prefecture.
The Heavenly Sect, as the premier sect of Jiangzhou, had assembled numerous Earth-rank weapon wielders at Yeshan Lake to pressure Luotong River Lord.
The result was a crushing defeat.
"Even when a Grandmaster on the Earth Ranking stepped forth, they were powerless against Luotong River Lord?" an elderly man asked. He was a peak Mystic-rank weapon wielder and held high status within the Shen family.
The State of Ning maintained an Earth Ranking, which recorded the country's Earth-rank weapon wielders.
Earth-rank weapon wielders were hegemons, and the top thirty on the Earth Ranking were even hailed as Grandmasters!
Every single one of them was a weapon wielder who had pushed the Earth rank to its absolute limit.
"If the waters of Yeshan Lake submerge Jining Prefecture, the Heavenly Sect's prestige will plummet, and they will be at a severe disadvantage in the next Thunder Heaven Battle!"
"And how many innocent citizens will suffer as a result?"
"Alas, the Weilong Xuanyuan was damaged, and we still haven't found an implement master capable of repairing it."
"The Weilong Xuanyuan is a near-Heaven armament, after all. Even a top-tier Earth-rank implement master would struggle to restore it. It likely requires a Heaven-rank implement master!
"The State of Ning doesn't even possess a Heaven-rank weapon wielder, let alone a Heaven-rank implement master!"
"Difficult, difficult indeed!"
The Shen family was a prominent clan backed by the Heavenly Sect, so they naturally did not want to see any disaster befall the sect.
This family council had brought together most of the Shen family's weapon wielders and implement masters, and all of them wore expressions of deep worry and dread regarding Luotong River Lord.
"The Heavenly Sect Master has issued an order: an Implement Master Assembly will be held near Yeshan Lake to jointly deliberate on repairing the Weilong Xuanyuan.
"All implement masters and apprentices within our clan who possess talent and ingenious ideas will accompany me to Yeshan Lake," Shen Wanshan declared.
"This... what if we implement masters gather at Yeshan Lake and Luotong River Lord stirs up waves to drown us all? What will we do then?" Chen Xianwei asked anxiously.
He was a guest elder of the Shen family and a Mystic-rank implement master.
In Ninghe County, even the county magistrate would have to treat him with utmost respect.
The number of implement masters was far smaller than that of weapon wielders.
As one of the top three major clans in Jining Prefecture, the Shen family possessed seven Earth-rank weapon wielders, but only a single Earth-rank implement master.
"Rest assured. The Heavenly Sect naturally has the means to guarantee our safety. Even Implement Master Huolie will be attending. If someone of his stature is present, what do we have to fear?" Shen Wanshan said.
At the mention of Implement Master Huolie, reverence showed on Chen Xianwei's face.
In terms of implement-refining attainments, Implement Master Huolie ranked among the top ten in the entire State of Ning.
Since such a grand figure was attending, the Heavenly Sect must have made comprehensive preparations, ensuring their safety.
"I wonder if this Implement Master Assembly will yield a master capable of restoring the Weilong Xuanyuan!" someone marveled.
"If it cannot be repaired, what will we do when Luotong River Lord unleashes catastrophic waves one day?"
The crowd was riddled with anxiety, terrified for what the future might hold.
"Everyone, there is no need to worry excessively. Even if the flood submerges Jining Prefecture, the waters will never reach us here in Fengshan Commandery," Madam Shen chimed in with timely comfort.
"Water?"
Right at that moment, an inquisitive voice tinged with pleasant surprise rang out.
"Mother-in-law, did you ask for bathwater?
"I'm bringing it right now!"
With a loud clatter, the doors were shoved open. A remarkably handsome young man stepped into view, clutching a massive wooden tub filled with boiling water that billowed thick clouds of steam.
The instant he entered the grand hall, he became the center of everyone's attention.
Surprise, confusion, stunned silence, bewilderment, shock... every possible expression flickered across their faces.
Isn't this the matrilocal son-in-law, Qi Yuan?
What is he doing carrying a tub of water?
Wait, pouring bathwater for his mother-in-law?!
Involuntarily, their gazes turned toward Madam Shen, their expressions turning exceedingly strange.
Madam Shen's face flushed bright red, vibrant as a blooming flower. "Qi Yuan! What! Are! You! Doing!"
She enunciated each word individually, her emotions in complete turmoil.
Right now, she wished nothing more than to crawl into a hole in the ground.
"Drawing you a bath, of course?" Qi Yuan blinked.
Noticing the crowd sizing him up, he stated in a measured tone:
"As a matrilocal husband, I am destined to be looked down upon and subjected to endless humiliation, where even the servants refuse to look at me squarely.
"Here in the Shen manor, I must bear disgrace and endure hardship, stewing soup for my wife and pouring bathwater for my mother-in-law!
"Now the water is here. Mother-in-law, would you like to bathe and change your clothes?"
Qi Yuan gazed at his mother-in-law with an earnest look of anticipation.
Yet her face was simultaneously flushed with embarrassment and icy with rage.
"Enough, Qi Yuan! Get out!" Shen Wanshan could not help but shout, suppressing the fury in his chest.
"You aren't taking a bath right now?" Qi Yuan asked.
"I'm not!" Madam Shen answered frigidly.
"Call for me when you want a bath, and I'll pour the bathwater for you right away." Qi Yuan left as swiftly as he had arrived.
The doors to the hall slammed shut again, leaving the room blanketed in dead silence.
Shen Wanshan looked at his wife and asked slowly, "Is he... truly mad?"
"*Sigh*." Madam Shen let out a soft sigh. "Judging by his tone, he must have suffered countless cold stares and bitter hardships after marrying into our Shen family... Even in his madness, he still remembers to pour... to pour..."
She could not bring herself to finish the sentence.
"If Brother Qi saw his son reduced to this state, *sigh*..." Melancholy surfaced on Shen Wanshan's face, which quickly turned stern and ruthless. "Pass down my orders: investigate which servants have mistreated the son-in-law since he entered our household. Punish those who deserve punishment, and expel those who deserve expulsion!"
"Understood, Patriarch," an elder replied.
"Still, his being crazy like this is better than before... when he was always stirring up trouble. It's just... so hard on Xuan'er." Madam Shen's voice carried an involuntary sorrow.
The former Qi Yuan had possessed a corrupted character, devoid of ability and cowardly to a fault.
Not only that, but he had harbored no ambition whatsoever, leaving her unable to help him even if she wanted to.
Now, his personality seemed to have improved, and his previous flaws were gone—yet he had lost his mind.
She didn't know whether this was a blessing or a curse.
"I heard a major event took place in Ninghe County?" Shen Wanshan asked.
"Thorn Blood appeared. Eighty-seven guiling emerged at Red Cloud Stockade, but... a powerful warrior wielding a heavy spear wiped them all out!"
"It was actually Thorn Blood!"
At the mention of Thorn Blood, everyone present felt a twinge of dread.
This faction was an evil cult, mysterious and immensely powerful, operating not only within the State of Ning but across other territories as well.
Madam Shen relayed all the intelligence she had gathered to Shen Wanshan.
"He proclaimed himself a god?"
"The guiling's divine soul attacks were ineffective against him?"
"The guiling nurtured by Thorn Blood excel at divine soul attacks. Even if they were only Yellow-rank, facing eighty-seven of them at once would demand considerable effort even from me.
"Where did such a prodigy come from?"
Shen Wanshan commented briefly, then dismissed the thought.
He was merely a prodigy.
Under normal circumstances, he might have had the Shen family investigate the man's identity to see if they could befriend him.
Right now, however, with the crisis at Yeshan Lake looming overhead, he had no mind to care about such trivial matters.
To him, finding a capable implement master was far more critical.
If Brother Qi were still alive, with his extraordinary talent, he might have possessed a way to repair the Weilong Xuanyuan.
At this thought, Shen Wanshan felt another surge of melancholy. "Chen Xianwei, over this coming period, go instruct Qi Yuan. See if he possesses any talent for implement crafting."
He didn't want Qi Yuan to live out his days in muddled madness.
Nor did he want the Qi family's heritage to be extinguished.
"This... me?" Chen Xianwei was completely stunned.
You want me to teach a madman how to craft implements?
How am I supposed to teach that?
His heart was full of bitter misery.
He would rather be ordered to teach a mute how to sing.
***
*As expected, carrying the bathwater inside boosted my progress in roleplaying the matrilocal husband Qi Yuan.*
*It seems this matrilocal husband Qi Yuan wanted to wash his mother-in-law's feet all along!*
*Besides pouring bathwater for his mother-in-law, what else did the matrilocal husband Qi Yuan want to do?*
Qi Yuan could not help but ponder.
*Get stepped on by Shen Lingxuan? Lick her toes?*
*I'll pass on the toes, but other places might be worth considering.*
*Playing a matrilocal husband is way too difficult. It's not even as easy as playing a kitchen cleaver—at least then I'd only need to focus on slicing vegetables.*
*Level up! Level up! Kill guiling!*
Chapter 494