This Is a Serious Game, Don't Make It Lewd!

Chen Kangbao pulled steamed buns from his robes and arranged them before the skeletal remains, one by one. He had brought so many that it took him seven or eight full minutes to finish laying them out. Yet as he looked at the rest of the stark, desiccated skeletons, a pained expression crossed his face. "Young Master, I didn't bring enough buns. There aren't enough for them to eat." Qi Yuan's expression remained calm. "I brought plenty of groceries. You can cook some up." As he spoke, all sorts of Chinese cabbages, ribs, rice, and flour flew out from his storage artifact. Back when he was roleplaying as a kitchen knife, he had prepared a vast store of cooking ingredients. Chen Kangbao hastily set about preparing the dishes. The other weapon wielders all stared at the text inscribed upon the ground, now lost in contemplation, now muttering under their breath. Still, it was merely brief writing, after all, and a calamity that destroyed worlds felt far too remote to them. On top of that, there was no fitting background music to set the mood, so they could not truly empathize. Only the Confucian-robed scholar appeared utterly heartbroken, as his own elder brother had perished in this place. "The world fell... How could the heavens beyond have faced such grave peril? Why did no one ever tell us?" Tu Sihai asked, looking bewildered. "If the records here are true, then the Qingshan Realm must be in... dire straits!" the blind old man rasped in a gravelly voice. After all, according to the inscription, nearly three hundred thousand of the Qingshan Realm's most brilliant implement masters had gathered here—among them no shortage of God-rank implement masters—all to forge Tianyuan and draw the gaze of a god, transforming it into a fragment of the curious treasure of light to combat the dark night. "Three hundred thousand people shed their names and hid away, yet not a whisper spread through the mortal realm. These people... have this concubine's deepest admiration," the alluring woman murmured. When they first stepped into this subterranean palace, they had harbored hopes of reaping some spoils. Yet lifting their eyes, the only word that came to mind was desolation. Aside from skeletal remains, artifacts and materials alike had lost all their spirituality, reduced to no more than ordinary clutter. One could say there was nothing of value inside the subterranean palace. If anything held high worth, it was likely only... "Is Tianyuan the thing they were forging?" the elder of the Heisha brothers asked in a heavy voice. "So many implement masters gathered together, toiling for decades, could have forged any number of divine artifacts. Yet in the end... the forging of Tianyuan still failed, and it could only devour the flesh and blood of three hundred thousand implement masters along with everything in this subterranean palace. Just what kind of terrifying entity is this Tianyuan?" "This is bad. Now that we've broken in, will Tianyuan devour us too?" Wang Dao's face drained of color in horror. After all, even God-rank implement masters had been devoured to death. The fate awaiting the likes of them if they barged in recklessly was all too easy to imagine. "According to the records, Tianyuan should have finished devouring everything long ago... We shouldn't need to worry. But... did they succeed?" Tu Sihai wondered aloud. These implement masters had journeyed to this Curious Domain, forging Tianyuan day and night just to draw a god's gaze and bring forth light. "It most likely failed," the Confucian-robed scholar rasped. "Had it succeeded, the people of the Radiant Society would surely have come here long ago to bear Tianyuan away. Now, the Curious Domain has remained sealed to this day with no one coming for it, which proves... Tianyuan neither drew the god's pity nor transformed into a fragment of the curious treasure of light." Establishing a Curious Domain amidst the Shiwanshanjue and drawing in the implement-crafting talents of an entire realm meant the Radiant Society had certainly kept constant watch over its progress. Had it succeeded, the Radiant Society would never have left a fragment of the curious treasure of light sealed away in this place; they would have carried it beyond the heavens. Judging by how the Curious Domain remained sealed and forgotten, it seemed that even after feeding the flesh and blood of three hundred thousand implement masters to Tianyuan, they had ultimately met with defeat. "If it failed, where is Tianyuan now?" The weapon wielders present grew guarded. What if they had forged some apocalyptic wicked weapon instead? Presently, the subterranean palace was in ruins; the single item of greatest value was likely that so-called Tianyuan. Having devoured numerous divine artifacts along with the flesh and blood of three hundred thousand implement masters, it had likely... surpassed divine artifacts, hadn't it? Even such a terrifying existence had failed to draw a god's gaze and become a fragment of the curious treasure of light. Just what kind of priceless item had the legendary curious treasure of light been, then? "Mr. Qi, this old fool must go find his elder brother. Please excuse me." The Confucian-robed scholar cupped his hands in a bow and moved toward the depths of the subterranean palace. Along the way, bleached bones stretched endlessly, buried deep within the mountains. It was a chilling sight, filling the secluded gorge with mournful sorrow. At last, he stopped before a flight of stone steps, where a skeleton rested. From its posture, the person seemed to have leaned casually against the steps in life, as if lazily basking in the sun. The moment he saw this skeleton, the Confucian-robed scholar knew he had found his elder brother. "Brother..." The scholar's voice choked with tears. Though he had harbored faint suspicions ever since his elder brother vanished, seeing the remains with his own eyes still broke his heart. His elder brother had been the eldest legitimate son of the clan—untamed and wild, fond of fine clothes and swift horses, wandering the martial world. Their father had fretted constantly, asking how someone with such a temperament could ever shoulder the clan's responsibilities and heavy burdens. That his elder brother had gone to the Curious Domain was entirely beyond the scholar's expectations. His gaze fell upon the hand of his brother's skeleton. Peering through the gaps between the finger bones, he saw several characters carved into the step behind them. *If any who come after behold these words, I am willing to bestow a forging treatise, asking only that you travel to the capital of the State of Shang and redeem the courtesan Anxiang of Tianxiang Courtyard. For this, I shall be grateful.* Reading those sparse words, the Confucian-robed scholar sighed with deep emotion. The handwriting bore his brother's unmistakable style. In his youth, his brother had been dissolute and wild, loving nothing more than listening to songs in pleasure houses. He had fallen for a courtesan named Anxiang and wished to purchase her freedom and take her as his wife, but their father had adamantly refused. Because of this, the relationship between his brother and their father had grown terribly strained. He reached out, wanting to touch his brother's remains. Yet the moment his hand made contact, the white bones dissolved into ash. Every trace of his brother's existence in this world vanished like smoke. The scholar's hand froze in midair, and he sighed with heavy sorrow: "Three hundred thousand scholars hid deep within the peaks, Their loyal hearts and crimson blood lit up the frozen night. Do bones buried in this quiet vale harbor any regrets? Not a single heroic name was passed down through the ages!" "Hmph, to think we would run into the Grand Libationer of the State of Shang's Wentai Pavilion here!" Just then, a group of more than ten people strode toward them. The one leading them was none other than Diwu Wei. A dense baleful aura clung to him, alongside the distinct, haughty arrogance unique to those who held high rank and looked down upon the world. He strode with broad steps, trampling across the corpses on the ground as if stepping over common weeds, without caring in the slightest. Seeing who had arrived, the Confucian-robed scholar's eyes narrowed. "Diwu Wei!" "The Grand Libationer of Wentai Pavilion has always colluded with the Council of Judgment. Seizing you here will give us a chance to see whether those clowns from the council have the guts to show themselves." A mocking sneer laced Diwu Wei's voice. After finding nothing of worth since entering the subterranean palace, his mood was already sour. Catching sight of the Confucian-robed scholar, killing intent flared within him. At once, a burly Heaven-rank weapon wielder stepped forward, preparing to strike down the scholar. Yet at that very moment, a calm voice rang out like a sudden clap of thunder. It was a striking contradiction. "Hold it! The matrilocal husband Qi Yuan is here! None of you shall run wild!" A small party walked into view. At their head was a handsome young man with a lazy, relaxed demeanor. It was Qi Yuan. Right now, he looked at the Confucian-robed scholar, a wide grin spreading across his face. This old man was truly his lucky star. First, he had delivered Mo Sankong to him. And now, he had brought him twelve whole Heaven-rank weapon wielders. Diwu Wei swept his gaze across the newcomers, his expression dripping with disdain. "A flock of scrawny chickens daring to throw their lives away here!" The Heaven-rank weapon wielders behind him, discerning the cultivation ranks of Qi Yuan and his companions, could not help bursting into laughter. A bunch of Earth-rank weapon wielders—any single one of their group could slaughter them with effortless ease. Just then, Tu Sihai called out in frantic distress, "Brother Qi, they are Heaven-rank weapon wielders of extraordinary might! You are merely a matrilocal husband—you must be careful!" Hearing this, Diwu Wei had initially thought these people possessed some self-awareness, but the more he listened, the more he felt an odd subtext beneath Tu Sihai's words. The other Earth-rank weapon wielders hurriedly joined in. "You are only a lowly matrilocal husband; how could you possibly contend with Heaven-rank weapon wielders? If you anger these great figures, there won't be a place left in the State of Ning for you to hide!" "Yes! Drop to your knees at once and beg for mercy! Beg the Heaven-rank weapon wielders to forgive you!" The group babbled on without end, sounding desperately earnest and well-meaning. Yet none of the Heaven-rank weapon wielders present could detect the slightest trace of fear in their voices. In fact... it even sounded laced with cutting sarcasm. The Heaven-rank weapon wielders stood there, slightly dumbfounded. The scene before them was downright bizarre. What these people said... seemed sensible enough. And yet... it was strangely sarcastic. Almost as if they were performing on purpose. The twelve Heaven-rank weapon wielders felt thoroughly baffled. "Aren't you afraid?" Diwu Wei could not help asking. "Afraid? I'm scared half to death! You're a Heaven-rank weapon wielder!" Tu Sihai blurted out at once. "We're done for! Matrilocal husband Qi Yuan, shouldn't you beg them for forgiveness? Maybe they'll be magnanimous enough to spare our lives!" Wang Dao chimed in from the back. They spouted all manner of humble words with exquisite acting, looking as though they meant every syllable. And yet, hearing it in their ears, Diwu Wei and the Heaven-rank weapon wielders felt an uneasy, sour knot in their stomachs. It felt unmistakably like mockery. Fury erupted across Diwu Wei's face. "Insolence! Die!" He had always been a chosen prodigy, lavished with flattery, incapable of tolerating the slightest slight. In this moment, his temper flared, and he struck directly. "I'll tear your mouths to shreds!" He did not target Qi Yuan, but lunged straight at the endlessly chattering Earth-rank weapon wielders. Terror flashed in Tu Sihai's eyes—this time, he was genuinely afraid. "Don't tear my mouth, tear Brother Qi's! He's about to make his crooked-mouthed smirk!" After all, the terrifying pressure of a Heaven-rank weapon wielder bearing down upon him was horrifying. His body went rigid, as though pinned by a colossal beast, unable to move an inch. "Hmph!" Qi Yuan let out a cold snort. "Diwu Wei, to think that aside from matrilocal husbands, you'd even bully ordinary folk!" Diwu Wei halted abruptly. "You know who I am?" When the Confucian-robed scholar had called out his name earlier, this group had not yet arrived. "You sent Mo Sankong to make my wife your maidservant. Why wouldn't I know?" "Don't you know that to a matrilocal husband, his wife is his reverse scale?" Qi Yuan's voice rang out with soaring passion. "As the saying goes, a dragon has a reverse scale; touch it, and you die!" "A matrilocal husband's woman—how dare you lay a finger on her?" Having experienced so many worlds, Qi Yuan's acting had become peerlessly refined. With his looks and theatrical flair, starring in a production of *The Dragon King Matrilocal Husband* would practically be playing himself. Taking home an award would be trivial. Diwu Wei blinked in surprise. "You're Shen Lingxuan's husband?" He stared at Qi Yuan, his gaze shifting until a cruel smile broke across his face. "This prince has changed his mind. I won't kill you. I'll castrate you and send you into the imperial palace!" "This prince wants you to watch with your own eyes as your wife is..." Just as Diwu Wei spoke, he suddenly discovered that for some reason, the rest of his words would not come out. Or rather, he was speaking them, yet no sound emerged. "Hey, this is a serious game! Don't go using sensitive words! What if you attract the Great River Crab Deity?" "If it gets banned, are you going to compensate me for my investment?" Qi Yuan glared at Diwu Wei, visibly annoyed. This wasn't an eighteen-plus game—could he stop using banned words? "You..." Diwu Wei was taken aback. Today's events were far too bizarre. In particular, the words he had just tried to utter had inexplicably produced no sound—or perhaps the sound had failed to travel. "What 'you'? Die!" Qi Yuan threw a punch, hurtling straight toward Diwu Wei. Seeing this, the Heaven-rank weapon wielders behind him wore relaxed expressions. This fellow seemed strange, but he had clearly not achieved harmony between heaven and humanity; there was no way he could harm Diwu Wei. Diwu Wei naturally thought the same. "A clown putting on airs—what is there to fear?" With those words, the power of heaven and earth within a thirty-meter radius converged around his body in an instant. He stood where he was like a hegemon of heaven and earth. Every living creature in the vicinity seemed to fall under his absolute dominion. This was the power of heaven and earth; this was true strength. Tricks, oddities—under the colossal majesty of heaven and earth, all would turn to dust! "How could strength gained from your own painstaking cultivation ever compare to the solid foundation of strength earned point by point from leveling up through experience?" Qi Yuan struck with another punch. Having completed his kitchen knife roleplay, his body was already terrifyingly hard. Even if a Heaven-rank artifact struck him head-on, he could clash against it with pure flesh and bone. Facing Diwu Wei, he showed no mercy whatsoever. A devastating punch crashed down! Without the slightest suspense, the power of heaven and earth surrounding Diwu Wei receded like an ebbing tide. His face twisted in sheer terror and complete bewilderment. In that very instant, a voice drifted into his ears. "See? Strength gained from your own painstaking cultivation is simply unreliable!" The fist slammed into his chest. Blood sprayed violently as a gaping hole blasted through Diwu Wei's heart. Disbelief was etched across his face. "How..." "The biggest mistake you ever made was looking down on matrilocal husbands. Let me tell you, across the myriad heavens and myriad realms, matrilocal husbands, security guards, bodyguards, and delivery couriers... none of them are to be trifled with." Qi Yuan didn't spare Diwu Wei's corpse a second glance. He turned to the remaining eleven Heaven-rank weapon wielders, a grin spreading across his mouth. "And now... it's hunting season." In a flash, Qi Yuan's speed multiplied tenfold. The Earth-rank weapon wielders present could not even catch a glimpse of his silhouette. The remaining Heaven-rank weapon wielders had yet to recover from the shock. "A monster!" "He's a monster!" "Run!" Even their prince had fallen in battle—how could they possibly be a match for this Qi Yuan? This Qi Yuan... was far too abnormal. He wasn't even a Heaven-rank weapon wielder! Why... why did the power of heaven and earth have no effect on him? They had no time to think, scattering frantically in all directions. "Sigh, you were just too playful. If you'd cultivated diligently when you were young, maybe you would have given me a bit more experience, and you could have breathed a few more mouthfuls of fresh air in this world." With a single hand chop, Qi Yuan cleaved a burly man in two. His figure flashed again, while the drone transformed as well, disrupting their escape. He was like a god of slaughter walking through an empty realm. Stripped of the power of heaven and earth, not a single one of the Heaven-rank weapon wielders could withstand a single blow from Qi Yuan. In merely a hundred breaths of time, blood bathed the palace. Every Heaven-rank weapon wielder present was slaughtered to the last. Upon the desiccated white bones littering the palace floor, fresh flecks of plum-blossom crimson bloomed. Qi Yuan stretched lazily. "A nice harvest." These white moonlights of Rakshasa Country were truly fat sheep, carrying plenty of silver and gold banknotes along with numerous rare materials. Furthermore, he had gained another heap of experience points. He had also devoured a substantial amount of the harmony of heaven and humanity, though he was still far from a breakthrough. His roleplay as a matrilocal husband... had progressed significantly as well. Qi Yuan guessed that what he lacked now was... to ride Shen Lingxuan?