An hour later, the heavy rain was still pouring.
Inside the living room of Four-Eyed Daoist's wooden hut.
With Shi Shaojian's arrival, the atmosphere in the cabin had become considerably livelier—or rather, Nan, Bei, and Jiale were thoroughly irritated.
The reason was simple:
Shi Shaojian was just too arrogant!
His imperious, demanding attitude was so grating that if they hadn't known he was a senior martial brother, the three of them would have thought their eldest martial uncle had arrived in person.
"I really wonder how Junior Brother Ah Xiu puts up with this guy..." Nan, Bei, and even Jiale couldn't help thinking in unison.
However, once breakfast began, they soon felt even more irritated. Watching Shi Shaojian take a seat without the slightest regard for seniority or propriety, annoyance welled up in Nan and Bei's hearts. Liu Xiu smoothed things over from the side.
"Tastes awful..."
*Not even as good as the food my little junior brother cooks!*
After taking a few bites and seeing the two old fogies placing food only into Liu Xiu's bowl, Shi Shaojian tossed down his chopsticks in disgust, rose, and walked off.
He left the living room without even bothering to greet Four-Eyed Daoist or Daoist Qianhe. As for the monk Four-Eyed Daoist had invited over for breakfast, he hadn't spared him a single glance.
Nan and Bei glared angrily at Shi Shaojian's departing back, while Four-Eyed Daoist furrowed his brows and looked toward Daoist Qianhe.
He didn't speak, but Daoist Qianhe caught the meaning in his eyes and returned a look that said: *He truly is Eldest Senior Brother's son.*
"..."
*Can the difference between brothers really be this huge?!*
Four-Eyed Daoist frowned as he looked at Liu Xiu, then glanced at Shi Shaojian stepping out of the living room. Recalling how Shi Shaojian had been as a child, he shook his head inwardly, remarking to himself that the boy had been thoroughly spoiled.
And that his Eldest Senior Brother ought to learn a thing or two from him!
Thinking of Eldest Senior Brother, he remembered the copper insoles Liu Xiu had gifted him. Truth be told, they fit his feet remarkably well.
Pah! He still hadn't figured out what Eldest Senior Brother meant by sending those. As he pondered, his gaze fell on Master Yixiu, who had been invited over for breakfast and was genuinely tucking in.
Master Yixiu beamed cheerfully at Four-Eyed Daoist. Daoist Qianhe looked curiously at the dynamic between the two, while Jiale, standing to the side eating his meal, quietly scooped some dishes into his bowl and backed toward the doorway.
Sensing the smell of gunpowder in the air, Liu Xiu announced he was full, then slipped outside to a spot hidden from Four-Eyed Daoist's line of sight to watch the drama unfold.
The plot proceeded just as expected: Four-Eyed Daoist and Master Yixiu began bickering, with the only differences being the addition of Daoist Qianhe and his disciples, and the absence of Qingqing!
*Huh? Why didn't Qingqing come for breakfast? Did I scare her out of her wits?* Liu Xiu stroked his chin on the walkway outside the living room, deep in thought.
Just as he was wondering whether he should scare her a bit more, Qingqing's voice suddenly rang out behind him:
"I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to spy on you practicing your arts last night. I was just passing by, really just passing by! I saw the lamp was lit inside, so I couldn't help taking a look... But you really should give it a quick death!"
"It's fine. I forgive you!"
Liu Xiu turned around and smiled at Qingqing, whose delicate face was slightly pale. Qingqing nodded repeatedly, then furrowed her brows slightly:
"I just think that even if you can't master corpse driving, you shouldn't torture it. Even though it's a jiangshi, wouldn't it be better to just put it out of its misery..."
Qingqing went on. She hadn't developed sympathy for the jiangshi; she simply found Liu Xiu's torture of it utterly perverse!
Really, it was horrifyingly abnormal!
To her, since Liu Xiu was so handsome, he shouldn't have such bizarre flaws. She didn't like seeing it!
Just as Liu Xiu was about to speak, the narration cheat's voice abruptly rang out:
【Jie-jie-jie! Looking upon the gentle and graceful maiden Qingqing before you, you secretly cast a divination hexagram...】
【...Gazing at the divination results, wild joy surges in your heart. You cannot help praising the heavens for aiding you—as it turns out, she is a long-lost daughter of the Ren family! Schemes instantly take root in your mind. You resolve to take advantage of tonight's darkness to have an intimate heart-to-heart with her. In the future, you will rise in wealth and status through marriage, harnessing the Ren family's immense fortune to nourish your own cultivation. Once you accumulate sufficient foundation, you shall sweep across the Daoist sects of the world and ultimately reign supreme over the entire cultivation world!】
"???"
The Ren family?
The Ren family of Master Ren?
Or the Ren family of Ren Tiantang?
Ignoring the gibberish about dominating the cultivation world, Liu Xiu's heart stirred, subconsciously associating the name with characters from two horror films.
Just as he was about to question Qingqing further, Shi Shaojian's voice sounded:
"Hey, Junior Brother, who is this very good-looking girl?"
"..."
*All right, I get it, you're an English prodigy, happy now?!*
Liu Xiu told Qingqing, "My senior martial brother says you're pretty," then turned to Shi Shaojian and said, "This is Master Yixiu's disciple, Qingqing!"
"???"
*What on earth?*
*A monk taking a female disciple?*
*Is this old monk a lecherous monk?*
Shi Shaojian was taken aback. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Qingqing didn't spare him so much as a glance, addressing Liu Xiu directly:
"You haven't answered me yet!"
"Uh... got it!"
*Acknowledge my senior brother at least once, will you?!*
*Otherwise he's going to throw a fit!*
Liu Xiu muttered inwardly. Shi "Hegemon Body, Accomplished in Thunder Arts" Shaojian stared expressionlessly at Qingqing, who completely ignored him. His fists clenched slightly, and he turned around and marched off.
He didn't mean anything by it; he simply felt such women were far too shallow, blinded by male beauty, incapable of seeing his inner magnificence.
And his junior brother was truly something else—messing around with a woman who looked like this, his taste was deteriorating by the day.
"It must be these no-three-no-four fellows who influenced my junior brother. Later, I'll make sure he stays far away from these no-three-no-four clowns..."
Shi Shaojian continued wandering around the wooden hut.
Liu Xiu glanced at the departing Shi Shaojian, then turned back to chat with Qingqing. After a while, he stamped a "pitiful" label on her.
Looking at Qingqing—who had been drugged and kidnapped by child traffickers in her youth, reduced to a beggar, and only taken in as a disciple by Master Yixiu not long ago—he asked curiously, "Do you still remember anything from your childhood? I mean, before the traffickers snatched you?"
"I only remember lots of rice paddies..."
Knowing what Liu Xiu meant, Qingqing answered with a soft laugh. The corner of Liu Xiu's mouth twitched, and he said nothing.
He didn't mean anything by it, but... there were far too many places with rice paddies!
Still, he had a rough idea which Ren family she belonged to. In all likelihood, it was the Ren family from Musical Vampire.
Around the Jiangsu-Zhejiang region!
"All right, I don't even want to look for my family anymore, yet you're trying to help me find them? As for you, you'd better just put it out of its misery. My master has demon-subduing needles; you can just stab it to death!"
Seeing Liu Xiu fall silent, Qingqing assumed he was at a loss. Smiling, she turned her head toward the morgue and spoke.
"Uh, I think it prefers to stay alive!"
Knowing Qingqing was referring to the Black Jiangshi, Liu Xiu replied. Having said that, he shot a strange look toward the morgue. For some bizarre reason, he felt as if the Black Jiangshi had suddenly lost a tremendous amount of vigor.
*What? Are you telling me a jiangshi wants to commit suicide?*
Liu Xiu thought about it and decided that was impossible!
Putting the thought aside, Liu Xiu didn't bring up helping Qingqing find her family. After all, the matter of the imperial-clan jiangshi was far from resolved.
Better to wait until this blew over!
Besides, was that Ren family truly that wealthy?
Just as he was pondering, a soldier's voice called out: "Daoist Masters, Daoist Masters, Vice Minister Wu says the sky has cleared and asks when we are setting off..."
"..."
*Don't you know phrasing it like that sounds like an omen of death?*
Liu Xiu looked up at the clearing sky, then glanced at Qingqing beside him, and began making preparations according to his original plan.
...
Half an hour later,
around nine in the morning.
Outside the wooden hut, excluding Vice Minister Wu's entourage, Liu Xiu's group—totaling six living people and one Black Jiangshi—bid farewell to Four-Eyed Daoist and his companions.
"Junior Brother, martial nephew, be careful on the road!"
Suddenly feeling an inexplicable sense of unease, Four-Eyed Daoist smiled as he spoke to Liu Xiu and the others. Daoist Qianhe replied with a smile:
"Take care, Senior Brother. Farewell..."
"Farewell, Martial Uncle..."
Liu Xiu spoke, then secretly flashed Jiale a meaningful glance. Jiale chuckled knowingly, returning a "leave it to me" look.
Nobody paid attention to the glances between the two, except Shi Shaojian, who was even more impatient than Vice Minister Wu: "Why are you dragging your feet? Let's go! It's not like we're parting forever in life and death..."
"..."
*Hey, do you really have to be this obnoxious?!*
Putting aside the thoughts of Liu Xiu and the others, when the soldiers saw how Liu Xiu tolerated Shi Shaojian, they only felt that another Daoist master even more domineering and arrogant than Liu Xiu had arrived.
Because it had just rained, Master Yixiu didn't bring up dismantling the little tent over the coffin to sun the corpse qi.
Thus, the company set off once again. Though it had rained earlier, summer downpours were mainly intermittent squalls; the road had not turned excessively muddy.
The soldiers didn't find the trek too arduous, except for the three imperial palace experts, whose faces were somewhat pale from the debridement wounds on their hands.
And so,
the group walked for two hours,
and the time neared noon.
Along the relatively passable official road, Liu Xiu brought up the rear, ringing the Three Purities bell to guide the Black Jiangshi behind him.
At the same time, he flipped through the spirit-summoning art, one of the four secret manuals bestowed by the ancestral patriarchs. Four-Eyed Daoist had handed it to him before departure, along with four bottles of elixir pills.
Four-Eyed Daoist had claimed the patriarchs gave them to him, which made Liu Xiu feel that playing the pity card whenever possible was truly worthwhile—look at the benefits rolling in!
Just like after the verse chant episode last night, Daoist Qianhe's attitude toward him was so deferential and attentive it was almost filial, like a grandson tending to an elder.
Well, the phrasing was crude, but that was essentially the gist of it!
Shelving these stray thoughts and the spirit-summoning manual, Liu Xiu looked toward Daoist Qianhe and his four disciples for the fourth time.
Under his Green Satchel Qi-Observation Art and Mayi Physiognomy—both cultivated to Great Accomplishment—he saw that with every step Daoist Qianhe and his four disciples took, the death qi across their yintang deepened by another shade.
The same went for Vice Minister Wu and the others!
The only exception was the Seventy-First Prince, whose yintang was merely slightly darkened. As for Shi Shaojian, who was strolling by the roadside playing grass-slashing games with a stick...
Shi Shaojian's yintang was enveloped in a wisp of thunder qi, his entire body shielded by a faint, misty aura, embodying the principle that evil could not encroach and calamity could not near.
Far from being tainted by death qi or bad luck, Liu Xiu felt the guy might very well stumble upon a silver dollar any second.
"Hey, a silver dollar? Tsk, not bad luck at all!"
Shi Shaojian flicked up a silver dollar from the ground with his stick and waved it at Liu Xiu, preening proudly. Liu Xiu feigned envious admiration:
"Senior Brother, what amazing luck! Hey, gold foil leaves!"
Liu Xiu halted, crouched down, plucked a mud-stained gold leaf from a rock crevice, and wiped it clean. Daoist Qianhe's group stared blankly, while Vice Minister Wu's entourage showed faces full of disdain and envy.
Shi Shaojian's thoughts were far simpler: he merely felt the heavens were humiliating him. With an irritated scowl, he shoved the silver dollar... right into his pocket, then began scrutinizing the rock crevices on the ground.
*If my junior brother can pick one up, so can I!*
Liu Xiu pulled out a mirror to look at his own countenance, which mirrored Shi Shaojian's, then looked back at Daoist Qianhe and the others, and finally at the forest ahead.
"Troublesome..."
With those words, they reached the woods. Relieved of the scorching sun, Vice Minister Wu felt much better and turned toward the Seventy-First Prince on the sedan chair:
"Seventy-First Prince, you see, it's nearly noon. Why don't we stop and take a rest first?"
"Fine!"
The Seventy-First Prince looked up at the fierce sun veiled by the leafy canopy and nodded. Vice Minister Wu immediately barked at the soldiers:
"All right, find a clearing and rest!"
"Yes, sir!"
The soldiers pushing the coffin and carrying the sedan chair beamed with joy. Although the slightly muddy road wasn't terribly hard to tread, it was still exhausting, especially in the wake of the rain.
The group found an open clearing in the forest to rest and recuperate. Liu Xiu didn't stop them; he merely intended to have the soldiers pitch the tent over the bronze-cornered golden coffin to prevent rain from washing away the cinnabar markings.
However, before he could open his mouth,
the narration cheat's voice abruptly rang out!
【Jie-jie-jie! What a magnificent golden coffin forged by thunder and flame, with four soldiers serving as the human sacrificial vessel! Gazing upon the imperial-clan jiangshi within the bronze-cornered golden coffin, where golden elixir and corpse poison are forged together, you suddenly recall a body-seizing method known as the Formless Heavenly Demon Body from the Heaven-Burial Earth-Destruction Great Demonic Art... and dominate the cultivation world!】
*Wait? Golden elixir and corpse poison?*
Liu Xiu subconsciously glanced at Vice Minister Wu's pale face, recalling the mineral and metal elixir pills he took, and remembering what Daoist Qianhe had said about another Daoist mentioning that this prince had brought death upon himself.
*Fuck, does every single person in this world pop mineral pills like candy?!*
Whoosh—
Gales suddenly howled as dark clouds blanketed the sky. Rolling thunder dragged sheets of rain in its wake, and within breaths, heaven and earth plunged into gloom as torrential rain poured down.
Second one: dark sky, downpour.
Second two: four men pushed the coffin.
Second three: heavenly thunder struck the coffin...
Just as in the original story, the four soldiers who died from the aftermath of the heavenly thunder met their end because their hands were resting on the coffin. Seeing this, Liu Xiu's brow furrowed slightly.
Daoist Qianhe was also stunned. Subconsciously, he looked toward the cinnabar net, where the red dye was already washing away in the rain, and at the bronze-cornered golden coffin, which was rattling and shaking violently.
"Dong, Nan, Xi, Bei!"
Seeing the imperial-clan jiangshi attempting to break free of the coffin, Daoist Qianhe yelled instinctively and charged straight toward the bronze-cornered golden coffin.
Just as he prepared to leap onto the coffin and employ the Thousand-Jin Weight drop, his vision blurred. Liu Xiu, dragging the black-robed Black Jiangshi with him, suddenly materialized before him and shouted:
"Defend Vent!"
Bang—!
As the imperial-clan jiangshi blew off the lid to erupt from the coffin, the heavy lid was catapulted outward, crashing violently against the Black Jiangshi's body.
The instant the massive lid slammed down, the Black Jiangshi deflected it to the side with both arms, sending it thudding onto the ground.
Behind the Black Jiangshi was Liu Xiu, gripping the back of its neck. Directly opposite the Black Jiangshi was the imperial-clan jiangshi, which had burst out of the coffin, vaulted over ten feet into the air, and landed steadily on the ground.
Roar—!
The imperial-clan jiangshi released a savage roar at the shrouded Black Jiangshi. Without wasting words, Liu Xiu whipped off the black robe and roared:
"Shit!"
As the black robe fell away, the Black Jiangshi's true appearance—with parts of its limbs having successfully advanced to Silver Armor—was fully revealed. However, Daoist Qianhe and the others didn't look at the silver-armored sections; instead, they stared dumbfoundedly at the Black Jiangshi's Western attire.
While everyone was still baffled, they saw the imperial-clan jiangshi display absolute terror, rapidly hopping backward three steps.
"???"
*What ghost... no, what jiangshi were they seeing?!*
*What on earth is going on?*
As the onlookers stood bewildered, Liu Xiu, standing behind the Black Jiangshi, bellowed once more:
"Fuck you, bitch..."
A barrage of English curses spewed forth. The imperial-clan jiangshi bowed in panicked terror, its stiff, rigid body making the gesture look absurdly comical.
Vice Minister Wu and his men felt an eerie sense of familiarity. Once the realization hit them, their eyes turned bloodshot, glaring furiously at Liu Xiu.
Liu Xiu paid them no heed whatsoever, continuing to unleash a torrent of English vulgarities at the imperial-clan jiangshi, carrying out his plan of using a "Western Lord Jiangshi" to intimidate the royal jiangshi.
The results were splendid: the imperial-clan jiangshi feared the Black Jiangshi just like a merchant on Pinduoduo feared a customer requesting a return and refund.
Wait, that wasn't quite right.
It should be compared to the platform itself—
after all, its family truly had spent tens of billions in subsidies!
Chapter 49