Pointless Fuss

In this world, throughout all of history, the Martial Assembly had always been held on Dun Mountain. In the past, the martial artists attending the assembly were almost always handsome men or peerless beauties, either clad in snow-white robes or possessing looks that could topple kingdoms. This time, however, was different. First were the three highly respected leaders presiding over the gathering. Zhang Zhitian, sect leader of the Kunshan Sect, had once possessed the transcendent air of an immortal daoist. Now, not only did his entire face resemble a toad's, but his skin was covered in tiny nodules, and a pair of triangular eyes made him appear exceedingly sinister. Then there was Abbot Shi Daxin of Duosen Temple. In days gone by, he had possessed kind brows and benevolent eyes, the very image of an enlightened monk. Now, his face glistened with grease, his whole body was round as a leather ball, and his eyes were lecherous to an extreme, as though he ogled everyone he looked at. Finally, there was Guan Jinhai, sect master of the Great Blade Sect. He had once been dignified and imposing, carrying a natural majesty that commanded respect without anger. Although he was still tall and broad-shouldered, he now wore a face resembling Mr. Bean; whenever he held a neutral expression, he gave off the distinct impression of a complete fool. With the three leaders looking like absolute monstrosities, one could well imagine what a chaotic freak show the martial world had become. Naturally, Yu Xian had no intention of missing out on such entertainment. Mingle among the martial artists as he did, he did not look out of place in the least, blending seamlessly into this den of monsters and fiends. He watched with curiosity as the numerous sect leaders and experts gathered on the stone platform, eager to see what medicine they were trying to peddle. At that moment, Shi Daxin, the bald monk among the three leaders, was the first to speak. "Fellow sect leaders, fellow companions of the martial world, there is only one purpose in convening this Martial Assembly today: to resolve the scourge brought about by the reappearance of the Hands of Total Disfigurement. "This old monk originally had no desire to cultivate this demonic art. However, Benefactor Guan later persuaded me—if one has never cultivated it, how can one determine it to be demonic? "Thus, this old monk had no choice but to feed himself to the demon to determine whether this demonic art truly belongs to the demonic path." "This technique is naturally a demonic art!" Guan Jinhai spoke up. "In the past, while not every person in the martial world was dashing and suave, everyone was at least presentable and dignified. Look to your left and right, everyone—is there a single person present who is fit to look at?" The assembled martial artists looked at those around them. One after another, they swallowed hard, suppressing the urge to vomit. "If we continue to allow this manual to ravage the martial world, I fear the entire wulin will be in peril!" Zhang Zhitian let out a long sigh. Unfortunately, paired with his current face, no one found him compassionate; he merely looked exceptionally grim. Hidden in the crowd, Yu Xian spoke up. "What a joke! Before cultivating the Hands of Total Disfigurement, we were all just minor lackeys. Now, everyone is at the exact same starting line. You only want to ban the Hands of Total Disfigurement so you can preserve your own advantage! "The martial world in peril over a single manual? Cut the stinking bullshit!" "If every single person in the martial world cultivates this technique, every one of them will look hideous and repulsive! Even taking a wife will become impossible! As time drags on, whether the martial world can even continue to exist will be a question! How is that not perilous?" Zhang Zhitian scanned the crowd, but unfortunately failed to spot the speaker, so he loudly questioned with a dark scowl. A man with a sorrowful expression, yet carrying the air of an honest fellow, sighed and spoke up. "Most women in this world are shallow and mindless, fond of eating and lazy to the bone. As long as you have the ability to make money, never mind being ugly—even if you're a pig, they can love you to death! But even if you have the face of Pan An and the endowments of a donkey, without skill or capital, they'll despise you ten times a day just the same, saying you have no ambition, that you're lazy, that you're useless, that you're a good-for-nothing through and through! Tell me, isn't that the truth?" Many married men present nodded in agreement. "Right, right! My nag of a wife used to find fault with everything. Now that my strength has surged and a single escort run earns me as much silver as several years in the past, she really stopped picking on me," a man with an enormous chin-cleft and a monstrously hideous face chimed in. Another cross-eyed man said, "Why does a man need to be so handsome? Strength is what matters most! At worst, I'll just follow the example of Hero Yang Du and wear a mask!" "Aren't any of you thinking about your sons and daughters?" someone suddenly remarked in a faint, eerie voice. The assembled martial artists instantly fell silent. The thought of their obedient, lovely daughters turning into fat-headed, big-eared brutes, and the thought of their tall, dashing sons turning into toads... No. The Hands of Total Disfigurement had to end with their generation; cultivating it had to be banned. "I have no sons or daughters," Yu Xian stoked the fire once more. "If you won't cultivate it, I will. When your children die under my palms in the future, don't come crying!" Many faces darkened at that instant. If they didn't train in the Hands of Total Disfigurement, their children might be beaten to death wandering the jianghu. If they did train in it, their sweet, lovely daughters and handsome, dashing sons would be gone... "You have spoken up repeatedly, obstructing us every time we move to ban the Hands of Total Disfigurement. Could you be the one who disseminated the manual in the first place?" Shi Daxin said. Yu Xian didn't respond at all. The seed had already been planted anyway, and the people present were not fools. "We have considered your concerns as well," Guan Jinhai spoke up again. "Here is a proposal: every ten years, ten individuals of high prestige will be selected to cultivate the Hands of Total Disfigurement and patrol the realm. If anyone cultivates it without authorization, the entire world will unite to strike them down!" Someone voiced their worry. "What if these ten people band together to purge dissenters? What then?" "Those who cultivate the Hands of Total Disfigurement become exceptionally ugly! They are extremely easy to distinguish!" Zhang Zhitian said. Yu Xian's eyes rolled, and he laughed. "What if someone is naturally born hideous? Wouldn't they be doomed to die? Does an ugly person have no right to live in this world?" His words rendered the Martial Assembly silent once more, for this question was genuinely difficult to answer. "Those who cultivate the Hands of Total Disfigurement all possess profound internal strength. One only needs to test their cultivation to find out," someone suggested. Yet another person immediately countered, "And what if they have cultivated a technique to conceal their aura and mask their internal force? What then?" For a time, the atmosphere at the assembly turned peculiar. After all, not everyone attending the gathering had been a handsome man or a stunning beauty to begin with; plenty of people were plain or ugly. These people worried that their children would inherit their unsightly looks, and how miserable would the future be then? Perhaps it would be better if everyone suffered together. If everyone was ugly, then their own descendants would actually be considered normal—or at least normal in their ugliness. Just as the Martial Assembly fell into an impasse, Yu Xian sensed a massive host of troops surrounding Dun Mountain. The imperial court was making its move. In truth, disseminating the Hands of Total Disfigurement brought the greatest benefit to the imperial court. After all, the technique was easy to cultivate, was a top-tier martial art, and required no innate talent. Whichever faction had the most people held the greatest advantage—and what sect had more people than the imperial court? In the past, the martial world had grown too formidable to easily control. Now, the court finally possessed sufficient strength to crush the entire martial world, and they naturally intended to conduct a thorough purge.