Fun-Seekers

There are two kinds of fun-seekers: natural-born ones and clownish ones. Natural fun-seekers don't necessarily realize they are fun-seekers. It is simply that their power is so overwhelming that they appear exceptionally relaxed, viewing the world with a cynical, carefree detachment that gives others the impression of someone just looking for kicks. In reality, such people are merely too strong—they do not genuinely seek out amusement for its own sake. Clownish fun-seekers are the exact opposite. They actively hunt for entertainment and love concealing their strength, but the moment their revealed power falls short, they swiftly devolve from fun-seekers into laughingstocks, embarrassing themselves before everyone. Yu Xian was unquestionably the former, for a very simple reason: he was strong—very, very, very strong! He was already among the handful of strongest beings in the Tree Universe. On top of that, he possessed an endless array of cheat-like advantages; if he ever encountered an opponent he couldn't beat, he could simply whistle to summon his son to take over the fight. One could say that while heroes throughout the myriad realms were as countless as carp crossing a river, there was only one person he feared: Nora! Aside from Nora, he feared nothing in existence! "Ta-da!" "Behold my greatest invention!" Yu Xian retrieved a frying pan from his storage pocket, gazing proudly at the members of the hero party. "Did you think this was merely a pan?" "Wrong!" "It's a lightsaber!" As he spoke, Yu Xian pressed a button on the frying pan's handle. The pan immediately shot forth a beam of laser light, extending into a 1.5-meter-long blade of light. The members of the hero party stared in shock at the pan in Yu Xian's hand, but he wasn't finished. "Did you think this was merely a frying-pan lightsaber?" "Wrong again!" "It is also a mirror, perfect for tending to my dashing, devastatingly handsome features!" With another click of a button, the bottom of the pan turned into a mirror, reflecting Yu Xian's massive bull head. The hero party froze in disbelief once more. "Shocked, aren't you? But the best part is yet to come." "It is also an extendable flyswatter! A chef's highest priority is hygiene. If any flies dare approach, I can swat them dead on the spot!" As he finished his demonstration, Yu Xian toggled the handle controls, causing the frying pan to alternate between extending and retracting. The members of the hero party were struck completely dumb. "May I ask a question?" Yunir Heavyhammer swallowed hard and couldn't resist asking, "Since you have storage gear, why didn't you just pack a frying pan, a lightsaber, a mirror, and a flyswatter separately?" "If I carried those things separately, how would that showcase my identity as an alchemical chef?" Yu Xian countered with utmost seriousness. Luo Wei sprang to his feet, as though all his meridians had suddenly been unblocked. "That makes sense!" he shouted. "Sir Newton, you're a genius! What a magnificent invention!" "..." Sif, Carmen, and Heavyhammer lapsed into silence once more. "You've got an eye for quality! Here, have a boxed lunch!" Delighted by Luo Wei's validation, Yu Xian beamed with joy. With that, he pulled a boxed meal from his storage pouch and handed it over. Luo Wei, already ravenous, expressed his thanks and opened the container. He was immediately captivated by the exquisite delicacies inside. Reverently picking up a piece of meat, he placed it into his mouth—and a look of sheer bliss washed over his face. "Isn't that a bit over the top?" Carmen muttered, unable to hold back as she watched Luo Wei's ecstatic expression. Heavyhammer nodded. "Bootlicker." "Sir Newton, could we buy some food from you? As you can see, none of us have storage items, and our provisions ran out long ago," Sif spoke up. Yu Xian looked calmly at Sif and asked in return, "Do I look like someone hurting for money? As for how to get some food, I think you know very well." "..." Sif blushed faintly and lowered her noble head. Unable to betray her conscience, she struggled for a long time without managing to utter a single dishonest compliment. Carmen caught on immediately and chimed in, "Sir Newton, your invention is truly extraordinary!" "You've got an eye for quality! Have a boxed lunch!" Yu Xian laughed heartily. He handed Carmen a boxed meal. Curious, she opened it and picked up a piece of meat. The next instant, an expression of pure ecstasy spread across her face as well. If only one person had acted that way, the others might have dismissed it as flattery. Yet with both Luo Wei and Carmen reacting like this, Sif and Heavyhammer began to suspect that Yu Xian's food might genuinely be out-of-this-world delicious. "Delicious! It's so good! Sir Newton, did you cook this?" Carmen asked once she came to her senses, glancing over at Luo Wei, who was shoveling rice into his mouth like a madman. Yu Xian shook his head. "No, my little sister made it. But she cooked heaps and heaps of it—enough to feed us for ten years without running out!" These meals were all prepared for him by Huangquan. Almost every day she made a huge batch, but since Yu Xian didn't feel like eating every day, the surplus had gradually accumulated, leaving his storage space packed with a vast hoard of food. In truth, he had understated it. With the sheer quantity of meals in his storage space, the entire population of this world could eat their fill for ten years and still not exhaust the supply. Heavyhammer spoke up at that moment, his expression stiff. "Sir... Newton, your invention... truly is... truly is magnificent!" "You sound awfully reluctant..." Yu Xian said, looking skeptical. Heavyhammer took a deep breath and repeated with renewed force, "Sir Newton, your invention truly is magnificent!" "You've got an eye for quality! Have a boxed lunch!" Yu Xian said with an immediate, beaming smile. Heavyhammer took the boxed meal and thanked him, but didn't rush to eat. Instead, he pulled a dirty, worn, leather-bound notebook from behind his shield. Opening it, he penned in dwarven script: *Year of the Dragon Calamity. While taking shelter from the blizzard in a leeward cave on the Great Snow Mountain, I was coerced by Newton into uttering falsehoods against my conscience. This grudge shall be repaid in the future!* "Is that your dwarven clan's Book of Grudges?" Yu Xian asked curiously. Heavyhammer snapped the notebook shut and grunted sullenly, "Nonsense. That's just baseless gossip passed around by rumors. I just like keeping a diary, that's all." "Yeah, I figured it was a rumor too. Hammer, you clearly look like an honorable fellow—how could you possibly mutter complaints behind people's backs? That'd be so petty. But I'm different. Whenever I have a grudge, I settle it right on the spot. Letting it wait overnight would be disrespectful to my enemy. "Coincidentally, I happen to have a Book of Death right here. All you do is write down your enemy's name, and they'll be cursed by the book to meet an untimely demise before long. It's remarkably handy!" Yu Xian chuckled cheerfully. With that, he pulled a tome from his storage pouch. Set into its cover was an embossed skull, and the entire book radiated an ominous aura. Everyone present could even see black smoke wafting continuously from its pages. "Sir Newton is indeed a person of true character." Beneath his thick beard, the corners of Heavyhammer's mouth twitched uncontrollably. Silently, he reopened his notebook and struck out what he had just written. Indeed, the only thing more formidable than a grudge-bearer was someone who bore grudges even harder.