You Don't Snore, Do You?

Having given their son his full measure of emotional support, the two of them finally got around to asking where the money had come from. Xu Yao explained briefly, then took care to stress: "This is reward money. We only get this much when we're lucky now and then — it's not like this every month. Don't go getting used to it." "As if you needed to tell me that." Liu Taohua patted the money box, and as she patted it she said to Xu Yao: "Big Fatty, more money makes your mother happy, but money is one thing — your health is the most important. Understand? Some dangerous things you mustn't do. No matter how much money they offer, you don't do them!" "Yes, Mother. Don't worry." "Remember it. Dangerous things — no matter how much they pay, you don't do them!" His mother stressed it once more. "I've remembered. I have to get back. Because the important people are here inspecting these days, we're on night duty every night, so I won't be coming home to sleep. Don't worry about me." "How long will it last?" "I don't know, but my guess is those important people won't be staying long." "Mm." Xu Yao hurried off, all smiles, his heart blooming. He had come home for no other reason than to see that delighted look on his mother's face — and having seen it, he felt wonderful, ha ha ha. All the way back he felt light as a feather, as though riding the clouds... Liu Taohua was a little worried, but she didn't say it aloud. She watched her son hurry away, and when only the two of them were left in the room, she stroked the money box and said thoughtfully, "Big Fatty is nineteen now. Next time he comes home, we ought to arrange a match for him." Now that the family had money, she was beginning to feel she had some ground under her feet. Xu Dashi declared himself very much in favor: "That's the proper business. The reason I've been going from village to village practicing medicine these past weeks is that I've been scouting. I have to say, there are a few families whose girls look decent enough; and for those families I've looked into everything — how they ordinarily conduct themselves, whether there's any serious hereditary illness in their ancestry, what the girl's character is like, how she carries herself." "Tell me quickly! Whose families?" Liu Taohua's interest flared at once, her eyes lighting up. Xu Dashi went through them one by one, then put on a troubled face and cleared his throat: "But Big Fatty's been doing well for himself lately. He's likely to land an official post. Chen Chong says there's hope..." At that, Liu Taohua fell into thought, then grew tense: "You're right. For now there's no hurry to give anyone a yes. Big Fatty's doing well lately — if he can scrape up some official post or other... then we'll have to choose again. I won't have my son settle for less." She immediately glared and warned him: "I tell you, don't go making any rash moves. You deal with too many people — when you're out there, whatever you do, don't give anyone a yes! This concerns our son's whole life. It mustn't be treated lightly." "You're right." Xu Dashi nodded heavily and quietly let out a breath, relaxing. What he had feared most was his wife getting impatient and, with no sense of proportion, settling a match right away — that would have tied up their son's prospects. But this had to be handled with wits, not force. Sure enough, a flash of inspiration here, a neat little scheme there, and now it was she who was worried. Physician Xu gloated inwardly: Managing a wife is that easy! "Make me another money box," Liu Taohua ordered. "What for? Haven't we got one?" Xu Dashi stared. "My son's earnings I want kept separately." Liu Taohua chuckled. Remembering the light that had come over her son's face when he said, all excitement, "Mother, look — what's this!" her heart blossomed, and she said, eyes narrowed in contentment, "This money, I can't bear to spend. Day to day, spending what you earn is enough." Physician Xu: "..." Liu Taohua smiled with narrowed eyes, thoroughly satisfied: "Counting from when he was in my belly, I've raised him twenty years, and today at last I've seen some return on it, heh heh heh..." Physician Xu: "!!" ... Back at the brigade, Xu Yao was summoned into brigade headquarters by Chen Chong. Looking into the brigade captain's rest room in the inner chamber, he saw that another small bed had been set up: "When you're on duty, you sleep here. You and I in one room." "All right." "You don't snore when you sleep, do you?" Chen Chong said very seriously: "I'm a light sleeper. The slightest noise and I can't get to sleep." "Don't worry, Uncle Chen. I never snore." Xu Yao hurried to assure him earnestly. "That's fine, then." That night. Seeing no movement from the demon-catching compass, everyone finished evening practice and turned in early. In the middle of the night. Xu Yao sat on his bed, both arms wrapped around his knees, staring blankly out the window, limp and listless. On the bed opposite, the brigade captain Chen Chong — the man who claimed to be "a light sleeper once asleep" — was snoring honk, honk, honk, mighty and majestic, like mountains toppling and seas overturning, shaking heaven and earth! Xu Yao felt his own little bed trembling under the captain's snoring. No exaggeration. Xu Yao stared, eyes wide, as strands of hair fallen on his pillow quivered and crept along, nudged bit by bit by those violent waves of sound... He wanted to weep but had no tears; life held nothing worth living for. Morning. Running laps around the compound, Xu Yao nearly fell asleep mid-stride. When the run finally ended, at breakfast, hungry as he was with an empty belly, he nodded off again and again with a steamed bun clamped in his mouth. "Big Fatty!" Liu Zhen called out and asked with concern: "What's the matter? Not used to sleeping in a new place?" "No." Dark rings under his eyes, Xu Yao said weakly: "The captain's snoring... Lying in bed I was rocked up and down like a boat at sea... And he was afraid I'd snore and keep him awake..." "Ha ha ha ha ha..." The burly men around them laughed so hard they nearly lifted the roof off the mess hall. Several of them cursed between laughs: "Who sprayed bun crumbs in my bowl..." After breakfast. Xu Yao, half dead, dragged his little bed out of the captain's room, heaving it along alone — like a mouse dragging a wooden spade — into the archive room, where he sawed a piece off the bed and wedged it into the already cramped space. The brigade captain stood with his three brows arched, arms folded, watching with a thoroughly displeased face, a crowd of burly men doubled over laughing beside him. Buck Teeth nearly laughed his whole mouthful of buck teeth right out of his head. "Young people really can't take any tempering!" Chen Chong said in annoyance. "Back then Liu Zhen lasted three nights." Liu Zhen looked haunted: "Boss... those three nights cost me half my life." Everyone roared with laughter. Just then. A shout came from that direction: "The compass is moving! The compass is moving!" With a thunder of footsteps, the two squads on duty came sprinting; those who hadn't finished eating grabbed a few steamed buns and stuffed them into their coats. The other three squads, not on duty, quietly kept their seats and went on eating. In the great hall. Ning Weiyu and Ning Wuxia had already taken their places before the demon-catching compass, watching with complete concentration. Once the two of them turned serious, they looked altogether different: Ning Weiyu watched with his arms folded, calm as a deep pool; Ning Wuxia watched with her hands behind her back, cold and aloof as the moon on high. There was something slightly topsy-turvy about it. By rights it should have been Ning Weiyu standing with his hands behind his back — he was the elder, after all. On the face of the demon-catching compass, a point of light was blinking, a faint green glow. Chen Chong strode over, came up to the compass, studied where the light was blinking, searched the detailed map hanging beside it, and pinned it down at once. "Black Pine Ridge again!" "Third Squad!" "Here!" "Bring me your squad's map!" "Got it!" Liu Zhen moved at once. "Less than ten li east of Triplet Cliff, where we had our last mission — over here. I remember there's another cliff there too. The position shown on the map lines up almost exactly with that cliff." Liu Zhen confirmed at once: "It should be under the cliff again!" "Get ready to move out!" "Bring extra ropes this time!" Apart from Captain Liu Zhen, who stayed to receive the assignment, Buck Teeth, Niu Sibao, and the rest of Third Squad all rushed out to start making preparations. A moment later. Chen Chong led them in person, taking Third Squad and Xu Yao, charging out the gate and driving like an arrow into the vast, dim forest. Xu Yao ran at Chen Chong's side the whole way, the antidote salve he had brought back from home this trip tucked in his coat. Ning Weiyu and Ning Wuxia set out with them as well, white robes fluttering. They seemed unhurried, yet kept tight pace with Chen Chong and Xu Yao. After the eleven of them had rapidly covered a hundred li, Chen Chong ordered a rest on the spot for the time it takes to burn a stick of incense. Everyone sat down, gulping air, drinking water, getting their strength back. The Ning siblings simply stood off to one side, serene and untroubled. Not to speak of being tired — they had not broken a single drop of sweat; even the corners of their robes were spotless, without a speck of dust. Neither of them took the water flask Chen Chong held out: "We're truly not thirsty." Ning Weiyu smiled and asked: "Captain Chen, why not let us carry everyone along on the road?" Chen Chong smiled: "You'll be gone in a few days, but these fellows have to stay here with me year after year." Then he asked: "You two sirs are capable of flight, so why...?" Ning Weiyu said: "Qi-flight is a last resort for emergencies, not a normal practice. One's cultivation base can't be squandered in flight, or you won't be able to win even against someone of the same rank." He glanced at Ning Wuxia as he spoke, instructing her: "Remember that? Spiritual energy is for fighting, not for showing off. Understand?" "Oh, that's enough, brother!" Ning Wuxia's face fell instantly: "You really will squeeze a lecture into any gap you can find... I've remembered." The words exchanged among the three of them were all very plain. But all three understood: these were not the questions any of them actually wanted to ask. They were meant to clear the doubts in the minds of the silent brothers standing nearby — purely to spare everyone's feelings. "Still, Captain Chen's men really make me sit up and take notice." This time Ning Weiyu spoke from the heart: "I've seen a good many mountain patrol squads, but one where every last man is on the Lion-Tiger Pill and has fully fused the pill's potency into his own physical strength — Captain Chen, yours is one of only a handful." Chen Chong's face was grave; he said softly: "Nothing to it. Train more, die less. That's all." "Why doesn't that one take the Lion-Tiger Pill?" Ning Wuxia asked curiously, her eyes flicking toward Xu Yao. "Big Fatty is a clerk." Chen Chong coughed once and answered as though it were the most ordinary thing in the world. "Big Fatty... pff ha ha... So he's Big Fatty, ha ha ha ha ha—hic..." At the name, Ning Wuxia couldn't hold it in, and burst out laughing. These past days she had kept hearing people say "Big Fatty, Big Fatty," and she had looked over all thirty-seven men in the brigade without finding anyone who fit the nickname. Now she learned that this "Big Fatty" was in fact the skinniest of them all. The contrast hit her at once, and she couldn't keep the laughter down. Xu Yao: "..." Chen Chong had of course done it on purpose. This was a joke he had been setting up for a long time. Precisely because this lively young lady laughed so easily, and he had finally managed to steer the conversation to this point, he naturally had to seize the chance. He sighed with feeling, lowered his voice, and pitched it so that only the Ning siblings could hear: "This boy... his martial aptitude is really quite good. What worries me is that the Lion-Tiger Pill might block his prospects..." "Aptitude quite good?" This time it was Ning Weiyu who showed a flicker of interest.