That morning, Zhou You had just pulled out his chair and set down his backpack. Before he could even sit, Nuomi came over holding something cupped in both hands, showing it off to him.
"Sect Master, look, a phone!"
Cupping the phone in both hands, her eyes sparkled with bright light. She simply could not bear to put it down, which instantly reminded Zhou You of Chu Xiaoyao's expression whenever she got her hands on his summer homework.
"You brought that in?" Zhou You looked toward Chu Xiaoyao.
Chu Xiaoyao nodded with deep, enigmatic gravity, carrying herself entirely like a Grand Elder. "Nuomi has entered our sect; it is only right that she be rewarded."
"Speak like a normal person."
"My dad just happened to get a new phone two months ago, so I brought his old one over."
Nuomi was so thrilled to have a phone that she wanted to twirl in circles, but worried that having a phone floating in midair would be too conspicuous. So she crouched behind Zhou You and Chu Xiaoyao, clutching the device and secretly spinning around to express her delight.
Once she had rejoiced to her heart's content, she held up the phone again to ask the Grand Elder for guidance on how to use it.
Chu Xiaoyao kept a sharp lookout in all directions. Only after confirming that neither the front nor back door had a teacher in sight—and urging Zhou You to help keep watch and warn her if one showed up—did she dare instruct Nuomi on operating the phone.
Teachers could not see Nuomi; if caught, they would assume Chu Xiaoyao was the one playing on her phone.
Even with the bold audacity of the Carefree Empress, she did not dare get caught messing around with a phone by a teacher.
"Here's the lock screen passcode. I charged it to full for you last night, but it's an old phone and the battery is pretty worn out, so you need to use it sparingly."
"Tap this, and you can watch short videos. When other people are around, don't turn on the sound. Cellular data is plenty, so don't worry about that—oh, you wouldn't understand that anyway. Never mind, forget I said anything..."
"Teacher's here!" Zhou You warned in an undertone. Acting on the Grand Elder's orders, his eyes had been sweeping between the front and back doors, and he spotted the English teacher walking in through the front entrance.
Frightened, Chu Xiaoyao immediately sat bolt upright, and Nuomi hastily tucked the phone out of sight.
The English teacher was quite young. Compared to the other teachers, everything from her taste in clothes to the topics she chatted about was exceptionally trendy. Rumor had it she held a master's degree from overseas, making her very popular in Class Three.
If only she didn't teach English, she would have been even more popular.
"Class rep, keep an eye on morning reading. For morning reading, memorize the Unit 1 vocabulary list from English Elective 2. There will be a dictation test before morning reading ends." The English teacher delivered the coldest words imaginable, prompting a chorus of groans throughout the classroom.
Chu Xiaoyao's little face fell in an instant. With utter reluctance, she flipped open her brand-new English textbook to the vocabulary list at the back, reciting while scribbling:
"Endure, e-n-d-u-r-e, endure, e-n-d-u-r-e."
Before the morning reading period ended, what everyone had desperately hoped would be a case of "the English teacher was just joking" failed to happen. The dictation test arrived right on schedule.
Zhou You glanced sideways at his deskmate. Chu Xiaoyao was scratching her ears and cheeks, enduring unspeakable agony.
History's strongest superpower user, sealer of the black dragon, sole bloodline of the Jiuli tribe, Carefree Empress... not a single one of her titles was of any use.
When the class representative came to collect the test papers, Zhou You's dynamic vision—heightened thanks to becoming an immortal cultivator—let him see that Chu Xiaoyao had crammed her sheet full of writing, though the accuracy rate was deeply concerning.
The moment the papers were handed in, Chu Xiaoyao put the morning reading entirely out of mind, instantly returning to her beaming, joyful self.
"Grand Elder, why didn't you say so earlier? I could have stood beside you and read them out!" Nuomi said, having felt frantic on Chu Xiaoyao's behalf while watching her struggle through the dictation.
Chu Xiaoyao waved her hand dismissively, speaking with righteous dignity: "No cheating. One must be responsible to oneself. If you cheat now, are you going to cheat on the Gaokao too?"
Then Chu Xiaoyao considered Nuomi's existence. Wait, why did it feel like cheating on the Gaokao was actually doable?
Zhou You seemed to see right through her thoughts and threw cold water on the idea: "Don't even dream about it. With Su Tingxue as proof, there are bound to be plenty of immortal cultivators among students. When those people take the Gaokao, there will definitely be cultivators proctoring the exam."
Chu Xiaoyao thumped her leg in frustration: "Damn it, there goes my road to Tsinghua and Peking University."
Zhou You chuckled teasingly: "Didn't you claim that the mysterious organization that trained you has its headquarters in the United States? You grew up there, so how come your English is this terrible?"
"That's not my fault! Didn't I tell you already? The headquarters is completely full of Huaxia people, and they all speak Chinese! Where was I supposed to learn English?" Chu Xiaoyao cried in protest.
Zhou You curled his lip. A bunch of Huaxia folks setting up their mysterious organization's headquarters in the United States—talk about having too much time on their hands. How on earth had he fallen for such an obvious lie back in his first year of junior high?
After the first period ended, Zhou You spent the class break focusing on practicing his pen-gripping technique.
He had practiced all day yesterday, but his progress was nowhere near as obvious as the day before. He could only manage to send his soul leaving the body to hold a pen and write; exerting any greater force was simply beyond him.
"And here you said a little practice would do the trick, but it looks like you can't manage it either." Chu Xiaoyao pointed fingers and passed judgment, getting back at Zhou You for refusing to believe she was history's strongest superpower user.
"You dare mock me?" Zhou You glared with bristling indignation. How dared a mere mortal defy This Seat, an expert at the grand completion of early Qi Refinement?
Chu Xiaoyao wasn't in the least bit afraid of him. Tossing her chin up, she countered, "So what? You got what it takes to hit me again?"
"Hit you?" Zhou You gave a wicked smirk. Who said physical blows were his only weapon?
"Witness my Netherworld Ripple Technique!"
"Wh-what are you doing?!" Alerted, Chu Xiaoyao sensed impending doom and scrambled backward. But pressed against the window, she could only retreat a few centimeters in total.
Zhou You's soul left his body, his ten fingers undulating like rippling waves as he poked and tickled Chu Xiaoyao's sides.
His soul power was too weak for heavy work, but it was just right for tickling.
"Hahahahaha... wait, I was wrong... hahahahaha!"
Sitting at the desk in front of them, Zhao Zhuo and Ma Changcheng looked back at the spectacle with dead eyes. First Zhou You had shouted some 'Netherworld whatever technique' and frozen stiff as a board, and then Chu Xiaoyao had suddenly collapsed into fits of wild laughter.
"When is Heaven ever going to take these two weirdos away?"
"You dare badmouth our sect behind our backs!" Nuomi, loyal to a fault as deputy sect master, could not stand anyone speaking ill of the Grand Elder and Sect Master. She blew hard against the backs of both boys' necks.
Whoosh— Whoosh—
Zhao Zhuo and Ma Changcheng shuddered, clutching the backs of their necks one after the other.
"Why did it suddenly turn so cold?"
A paper airplane imbued with spiritual power drifted leisurely in through the back door, hovering right over Zhou You's head.
Zhou You's soul snapped back into his body, and he unfolded the paper airplane.
"I've already walked past your classroom door twice! Look toward the door, will you?! Do you want your spirit stone or not?!"
The paper airplane practically radiated thick waves of grievance and resentment, giving Zhou You such a jolt that he hadn't reacted this strongly even when facing the Eye-blocking Ghost or the Poverty Ghost.
Zhou You hastily sprinted out of the classroom to the corridor corner where he often met Su Tingxue. Sure enough, Su Tingxue was waiting there.
"Finally showed up?"
Su Tingxue stared at Zhou You with a brooding, resentful gaze. She had assumed that since Zhou You said he wanted the spirit stone today, he would pay close attention to her movements. Using the excuse of going to the restroom, she had walked past Class Three's entrance twice, yet Zhou You hadn't noticed her at all.
When she opened her Yin-Yang Heavenly Eye to look inside, she found Zhou You's soul out of his body, busy tickling Chu Xiaoyao.
In the end, she had to rely on the old method: throwing a paper airplane.
And as it turned out, the old method worked best.
"Here."
Su Tingxue handed over a wad of toilet paper. Zhou You unwrapped it, and nestled inside was a spirit stone.
Zhou You froze. "Why wrap it in toilet paper?"
Su Tingxue's expression grew even more aggrieved. "What else was I supposed to do? Walk down the hallway holding a giant, suspicious rock? Wrapped in toilet paper, anyone who spots it will just think I'm on my way to throw out trash."
"Sorry, sorry," Zhou You said with a sheepish grin, feeling quite guilty for putting Su Tingxue through so much trouble.
After apologizing to Su Tingxue repeatedly, he finally managed to dispel her lingering resentment.
Zhou You returned to his seat clutching the wad of toilet paper. In front of Chu Xiaoyao and Nuomi, he unveiled the true form of the spirit stone.
His breakthrough past the grand completion of early Qi Refinement depended entirely on this.
"Sect Master, you beat up that damn rice-thrower already?" Nuomi asked excitedly, thinking Su Tingxue was wonderful—giving out a spirit stone every time she got beaten up.
Zhou You said solemnly, "Her name is Su Tingxue."
Nuomi: "?"
Chapter 56