Do You Need Knee Pads?

The waves slapped against the bank again and again as King Kong's corpse was swept away by the undercurrent, vanishing into the vast darkness of the night. Who knew when it would ever be found? Vought only implanted tracking chips into their most essential superheroes. Starlight, for instance, had only had a tracker implanted after joining the Super Seven. King Kong obviously didn't qualify. Qi Li qualified, of course, but he had zero interest. Nor had the hundreds of superhuman students at Godkin University been chipped. The key reason behind this was simple: Vought was a for-profit commercial corporation. It wasn't some shadowy syndicate like Hydra, the Hand, or the Hellfire Club, as some people subconsciously assumed—the sort that would naturally use an army of superheroes to conquer the world. Whether it was Qi Li or the members of the Super Seven, their contracts with Vought had always been strictly commercial, not military enlistments or contracts of indentured servitude. For example, Homelander's contract with Vought was set to expire next year, and rumors were already running wild that he might leave the company. True, Vought wielded immense power, its tentacles stretching into virtually every industry and corner of society. Yet at the end of the day, it was a legitimate megacorporation operating out in the open, fully compliant with legal regulations, and one of the greatest beneficiaries of the existing global order. Its sole obligation was to its share price. It didn't skulk in the shadows, constantly plotting to overthrow the world or topple governments. Qi Li stood by the river, waiting quietly for a minute as he felt out his new superpower: hyper-dense muscle. Unlike super strength, which was a purely numerical multiplier, hyper-dense muscle enhanced physical physiology. The combination was seamless, producing a whole far greater than the sum of its parts. With a shift in thought, the muscle density throughout Qi Li's body spiked by three hundred and eighty percent. His exterior showed no change at all. Compared to King Kong, his physical resilience was incomparably superior, allowing him to effortlessly handle the strain of such a massive increase in muscle density. Qi Li scanned the surroundings, his gaze settling on a riverbank boulder that had been worn smooth by centuries of flowing water, far harder than any of the rocks around it. He stepped forward and lightly slapped his palm down. Bang! The boulder disintegrated into a cloud of fine powder. Qi Li then flew out over the river and delivered a final punch toward the water's surface. Thud! Before the water molecules could even begin to displace, they were compressed to the absolute limit by a brutally overwhelming force. Visibly, an ultra-high-pressure shockwave erupted outward from him in all directions. The wave struck before the sound even arrived, unleashing terrifying havoc. An instant later, a colossal hemispherical cavity was blasted into the river's surface. With a deafening roar, a wall of white water over ten meters high surged upward, only to violently shatter into countless high-speed droplets that sprayed in every direction. Riding the recoil, Qi Li shot straight into the sky and vanished past the horizon. ... Godkin University. It was the time of year for the fraternity's annual initiation ceremony—sacred, pure, and supposedly a mark of supreme honor. Inside a room deliberately dressed to look dark and mysterious, Deep Sea, draped in a black robe and holding a single candle, spoke proudly to the row of Black and white pledges standing before him clad in nothing but their underwear: "In 1861, a small elite circle of white men in Mississippi founded this fraternity for a single reason: to protect their core values from being destroyed by Northern invaders! "Today, as elites, you are officially inducted into our sacred brotherhood, into our tradition. Remember the three values we revere: Wisdom, Honor, Dignity." With every word, Deep Sea looked around at the pledges, the knowing smirk at the corner of his mouth curving wider. Finally, he proclaimed with grave solemnity: "Now, strip away all your pretenses." As the words left his mouth, he hoisted a baseball bat that carried the fraternity's tradition... An hour later, Deep Sea shed his black robe, thoroughly satisfied, and stepped out of the room. Tossing the fraternity heirloom to a member, he instructed, "Clean it thoroughly. Don't use bleach—it's an antique!" With that, he grabbed another student nearby and asked, "Where's Bronze? Didn't he come?" The guy shrugged. "He never joined the fraternity. Said the initiation was fucking stupid." "Fuck! I mean... he's defiling fraternity tradition," Deep Sea grumbled, visibly annoyed. He had held high hopes for this initiation ceremony, eager to give Bronze an unforgettable hazing. Who would have thought the guy wouldn't even show up? Had he made this trip for nothing, then? Where was the Lord of the Seven Seas supposed to unleash his wrath? Fortunately, good news arrived right on cue. "Bronze is back," an upperclassman remarked offhandedly, glancing at a fresh post on the Godkin forum. Deep Sea snatched the phone away, skimmed the screen, and set off immediately. "Hey! My phone..." Qi Li returned to his faithful Godkin campus. After touching down, classmates inevitably flocked over to snap photos with him. In good spirits, he indulged each of them with a smile. After accepting yet another pretty upperclassman's contact info, his brow furrowed slightly, and he glanced toward the third floor of an academic building to his left. Not long after he arrived, a piercing gaze from that spot had been locked onto him. He had intended to ignore it, but the creep was watching him like a stalker, never letting up. Qi Li raised an eyebrow. With a sonic boom, he vanished into thin air. "Where'd he go?" Deep Sea pressed himself against the window, searching frantically. Suddenly, a voice spoke from behind him: "Hey." Deep Sea spun around, his heart leaping into his throat. It was Bronze. Right off the bat, Qi Li regarded him and asked calmly, "Do you need GAS surgery?" Deep Sea hadn't even figured out what posture to strike before Bronze to flaunt his majestic stature as Lord of the Seven Seas. Hearing this out of nowhere, he looked utterly bewildered and instinctively blurted, "What?" Qi Li smirked. "Gender-Affirming Surgery. For the past fifteen minutes, you've been ogling me like a creep. So I was wondering if you wanted gender-affirming surgery. Don't worry—it's free." Deep Sea flustered and stammered, "No! I'm not—" Before he could finish, Qi Li glanced at his knees and added, "So, you need knee pads then?" Deep Sea's brain short-circuited. "Knee pads? Why the hell would I need knee pads?" Qi Li took two disgusted steps backward. "Because the way you look at me, you look like you desperately need knee pads."