Keeping Granny Company at the Tail Banquet

At this moment, Li Zhuiyuan felt as though a basin of ice water had been dumped straight over his head; the cold seeped through his whole body. In a daze, it was as if his soul had been startled clean out of him — and the only reason it hadn't was that this place was not reality, and his body was not here. "Run!" Li Zhuiyuan seized Qin Liang's hand and bolted. But before he had covered more than a few steps, the old grandmothers who had just been scouring bowls with sand all stood in his path at once, blocking the way. Their seemingly withered, aged bodies did not budge, no matter how Li Zhuiyuan pushed and rammed against them. In his despair, the thought that surfaced in his head was actually: no wonder Great-Grandpa's paper-effigy trade did such good business — the materials and workmanship were right there on display. In truth, forcing a way out had never held any hope. He was still small, with no strength to speak of, and of Great-Grandpa's and Liu Jinxia's methods he knew not a single one. He had originally reckoned he could ride out this whole affair by hiding, and he had all but succeeded — only to come to grief at the very last step. He turned around to face the Cat-Faced Old Woman, forced himself to stay calm, and began rapidly combing his memory for any knowledge that might serve. It took little digging, for he had read only one book — an introductory encyclopedia at that... and of it, only four volumes. It was truly a case of regretting one's reading only when one needed it. Now all he could do was try to force a match with the knowledge he already had. And sure enough, Li Zhuiyuan did find one that seemed to fit. Volume Three of Jianghu Zhiguai Lu, Tale Twelve, recorded a special kind of dead-flipper: the corpse demon. When a person bearing an extremely deep grievance floated in the water and came into contact with the carcass of some animal that carried a similarly unclean aura, through a rare conjunction of chance the two would fuse, forming a bizarre existence that resembled a human but was not one, resembled a demon but was not one either. Such a dead-flipper would possess certain special abilities. The example given in the book, for instance, was a corpse demon from the Changbai Mountains region of the Northeast — a fusion of human and Huang Daxian, the Yellow Immortal, a weasel spirit — able to raise bewildering mists and beguile people's minds, until in the end it was destroyed by the righteous path. As for what "the righteous path" actually referred to, Li Zhuiyuan had no idea, and he felt no need to find out, because the ending of every dead-flipper entry was "destroyed by the righteous path." Whether they were truly destroyed, by which school or sect, whether by monks, Daoist priests, lamas, or sorcerers — none of it mattered at all. The author who wrote this book by hand seemed to use "destroyed by the righteous path" as the full stop at the end of every entry. The Cat-Faced Old Woman before him looked very much like a corpse demon. But if he insisted on cramming the concept onto her, he would first have to establish that she had died in a river. Those who died elsewhere were not dead-flippers, and did not fall within what Jianghu Zhiguai Lu collected. Yet this old woman's clothes were spotless, her gray hair soft and fluffy — nothing about her looked the way a water ghost ought to look. Little Oriole, soaked through from head to toe, was the standard template. Li Zhuiyuan felt... this question was probably beyond the syllabus. The Cat-Faced Old Woman drew back the head she had thrust out. Bending down, she reached out and picked up a piece of tiger-skin pork and a chicken drumstick from the floor. It was these two things lying on the ground that had made her sense something wrong, for it did not accord with the plain habits of the dream she knew. "Such good food — how could anyone waste it so? For this, one will surely be made to—" The last word was cut off by the Cat-Faced Old Woman herself. Clearly, given what she now was, speaking those two words would be the true taboo. She opened her mouth and, heedless of the filth, put the pork and the drumstick into it, chewing with obvious relish, lost in the enjoyment. "Back in my day, if only I could have had a bowl of cornmeal porridge, how good that would have been." Reminiscence welled in her eyes. Curled up on a bed, staring at a tightly shut door — for a very long time, that had been her greatest wish. Even her... extravagant hope. But in the end, she never got so much as a single grain of rice or a mouthful of water. The Cat-Faced Old Woman looked at Li Zhuiyuan again, but before she could speak, he spoke first: "Hello, Granny. Happy birthday to you." The Cat-Faced Old Woman: "..." That one birthday greeting left even the corpse demon in silence. After a long while, the Cat-Faced Old Woman reached out a hand and extended it in front of Li Zhuiyuan. Li Zhuiyuan noticed fine fur on the back of her hand, and very long nails, sharp at the tips. He did not dodge. He let her hand come to rest on his face. The familiar feeling of ice laid against his cheek returned — exactly the same as what he had felt that day in Liu Jinxia's hall. "Granny has discovered that this little child of mine is not only good-looking, he has a very fine head on his shoulders. That day, when my eldest son was about to leave, you deliberately had him come over beside you to wash his hands, so that Granny could leave your body and go back to his. Am I right?" "I was afraid Granny might forget the way home." "Really, now?" "I also thought you were more used to him carrying you on his back." "No..." The Cat-Faced Old Woman's finger slid down to rest against Li Zhuiyuan's lips. "Now I like having the little child carry me." Then the Cat-Faced Old Woman looked at Qin Liang, standing behind Li Zhuiyuan: "What a pretty little girl." Li Zhuiyuan introduced her: "Her mind isn't right. She can't speak, her temper is bad, and she bites people at the drop of a hat." "Oh, is that so? No wonder — when I saw her in the daytime, she just sat there without moving at all. Ai, what a pity. Such a pretty little girl." With that, the Cat-Faced Old Woman turned her attention back to Li Zhuiyuan's face: "Little child, Granny truly likes you. Stay and keep Granny company." "Don't you already have—" Li Zhuiyuan realized something at once and changed his words. "All right. I'll keep you company, Granny." He had been about to say, don't you have grandsons of your own? But wasn't that just poking at the sore spot? The Cat-Faced Old Woman nodded with a smile and said to the Fat Chef and the rest: "Everyone has worked hard. Let us eat together." By local custom, when a banquet was laid on, once the first and second seatings had finished and all the guests had been seen to, one or two final tables would be set for the cooks, the helpers, and the family's own people. "Right-o, old granny." The Fat Chef and the old grandmothers sprang back to life, beginning to tidy up in preparation for the meal. "The little child comes too." When she had given her orders, the Cat-Faced Old Woman turned and walked out of the kitchen. Li Zhuiyuan noticed water marks in the footprints she left behind. The cloth shoes on her feet were an unusually deep color, and they squelched without stop as she walked, as though soaked brimful of water. So — he had actually hit the exam question? "Come, little child, time to eat." The Fat Chef seized Li Zhuiyuan's hand in one grip, cutting the thought short. Li Zhuiyuan saw that none of the old grandmothers moved to grab Qin Liang — clearly, the Cat-Faced Old Woman had no interest in this "wrong-in-the-head" girl. So he let go of Qin Liang's hand and turned to tell her: "You go on... no, just stand right here and don't move." Walk where, after all? Staying in the kitchen was safer. That old woman wanted him. Li Zhuiyuan was led out of the kitchen. The hall outside, once packed with seated guests, now lay silent as the grave. It was not empty — quite the opposite. There were many people, shoulder to shoulder, a dark mass pressed together, yet not one of them made a sound, and not one of them stirred. The tables, chairs, and benches had been tidied and stacked against the walls, leaving only two areas that were relatively open. In one stood a table of food and wine; in the other, the three Tongzi Opera performers. Everyone else stood crowded in a dense ring around them, all waiting to watch the after-meal performance. The Fat Chef hauled Li Zhuiyuan over to the table. The Cat-Faced Old Woman was already seated in the place of honor. She patted the empty spot beside her: "Come, little child, sit next to Granny." Li Zhuiyuan had no choice but to go over and sit. On the way he deliberately glanced toward the direction he had come from — and found that Qin Liang, far from obediently staying put in the kitchen, had followed him out. She stood among the crowd, her gaze fixed on him. She's done with you — why do you keep edging closer? The Cat-Faced Old Woman noticed her too, and asked with a smile: "How about we call her over to sit with us?" "No need, Granny. She's already eaten. She has a temper, she's shy around strangers, and she'd easily stir things up until nobody could eat in peace." "Oh? Then why do you still play with her?" "We're neighbors, so I just take her along to play." "Heh heh, kind-hearted, aren't you." The Cat-Faced Old Woman's hand settled on Li Zhuiyuan's head, stroking it gently. "All my grandchildren — I helped raise every one of them when they were small. Back then, they'd call 'Granny' with every other breath. But once they grew up, every last one of them wished I would hurry up and die. They all decided that I, the old thing who refused to die, was why they fared badly in life, could not live well, could not get rich." Li Zhuiyuan listened quietly. "I could never work out how they turned into that. Maybe it truly is my fault. I lived too long, and drank up their good fortune — so I wronged them, did I? "I think I had best die soon and be reborn soon. That would be for their own good too. Little child, tell me — am I right?" If you truly thought that way, how could you have become a dead-flipper? By the general principles laid out at the very start of Jianghu Zhiguai Lu, a dead-flipper is an existence catalyzed by grievance. Without grievance, how are you sitting here right now? On missing them? "Granny, you mustn't think that way. My mother told me: when you are facing a beast, examining yourself and trying to understand it are both laughable things to do." "Oh... your mother does talk sense." The Cat-Faced Old Woman paused, then chuckled to herself. "Heh heh, that was how I thought too. But in the end I still couldn't quite bear it. After all, they were children I raised and brought up with my own hands." "Then did they ever treat you as their mother, as their granny?" "In my eyes they were still children, after all. And children, well — children will always make mistakes, won't they?" "But they have become grandpas and grannies in their own right now, and every one of them has been a father or a mother. How could they not understand how you feel? And yet they still did it." "Exactly! They are utterly hateful!!!" The green light in the Cat-Faced Old Woman's eyes began to swirl faster and faster, and sharp teeth curled out past her lips into the open. "Little child, you are so right, so very right! Granny is so fond of you, she can hardly stand it!" This time it was both hands that seized Li Zhuiyuan's face, kneading without pause. Li Zhuiyuan felt as though his face were about to freeze stiff. "Granny... whatever you do, don't let them off." The Cat-Faced Old Woman let go of his face. Both hands clamped down on the tabletop, her nails carving ten deep grooves into the wood: "That's right — how could I ever let them off? This pack is worse than us beasts!" Li Zhuiyuan: Worse than us beasts? So the dominant one in this corpse demon was the cat? The Cat-Faced Old Woman turned her head to look at him and pronounced, word by word: "Little child, watch closely. I will make them pay for what they did!" And would I even live long enough to see it? Li Zhuiyuan chimed in at once: "Granny, absolutely!" He felt no guilt in his heart over the way he had steered her hatred. He had simply known the answer and was filling in the working. He did not need to guide her at all — this old woman would have done it regardless. If he had tried to persuade her to let it go, his own skull would have been cracked open first. At this point the Fat Chef spoke up: "Old granny, may our table start?" The Cat-Faced Old Woman asked: "Is everyone here?" "Just the likes of us." "And the family?" The Fat Chef scratched his head. "The family is just you. Not one of your sons and daughters came." "Not them. When you have borrowed another's ground, their tables and stools, their bowls and chopsticks, it is against the rules not to invite them to the table." Li Zhuiyuan: "Granny, they're not hungry. They're already asleep. Don't wake them." "How could that possibly do?" The Cat-Faced Old Woman abruptly turned gloomy again, glaring at him. "At the tail banquet, everyone must be called in. Otherwise the rules are broken, and people will run their mouths behind your back." "It really isn't necessary, Granny." Whum! One hand clamped around Li Zhuiyuan's neck and hoisted his whole body off the floor. "Little child, just now you were being very disobedient, heh heh heh." ... At this moment, in the second-floor bedroom, Li Zhuiyuan — fast asleep with his forehead pressed to the desk — grimaced in pain and sank into suffocation. ... "Granny... I was wrong... I was wrong..." With both hands Li Zhuiyuan clutched at her hand, but however he pried, it would not open. His legs could only thrash wildly at nothing. The feeling of death was this distinct. In the crowd far away, Qin Liang's eyelashes began to flutter, and her body began to tremble, the tremors swelling larger and larger. Snap! The Cat-Faced Old Woman let go. Li Zhuiyuan crashed to the floor, and freed of her grip at last, he gulped down air in huge mouthfuls. She would kill him all the same! She was not human. She was a corpse demon — savagery was her nature! Li Zhuiyuan turned his head to look at Qin Liang in the crowd. The moment her eyes met his, she seemed to draw some manner of comfort from it; slowly her gaze lowered again, and little by little her body stopped trembling. ... In the second-floor bedroom, the pain slowly faded from the face of Li Zhuiyuan, slumbering over his desk, and his breathing steadied. ... The Cat-Faced Old Woman: "A little child has to be taught properly from a young age." "Granny, you're right." Li Zhuiyuan picked himself up off the floor and walked back to the table. "And if you find you cannot teach him properly, you should drown him early and spare him growing up into a heartless scourge instead. You'd agree, wouldn't you?" Li Zhuiyuan lifted the plate of red-braised fish from the table and swapped it with the fried peanuts in front of the Cat-Faced Old Woman. Then he sat down and nodded: "That's right. Yes." "Mm..." A smile surfaced on the Cat-Faced Old Woman's face once more. Reaching out, she gently stroked the red mark on Li Zhuiyuan's neck. "You are the good little child after all. Did Granny hurt you just now?" "Granny was educating me. I understand." "Mm." The Cat-Faced Old Woman looked at the Fat Chef. "Go and invite them, then — invite the family of this house, to eat." "Right-o, we'll go this instant." The Fat Chef and the several bowl-washing grandmothers rose from the table one after another and went off to call people. And when the Fat Chef reached the head of the stairs, the staircase that had vanished appeared once more. He trotted up it, the fat on his body swinging and swaying with every step. Arriving at the second-floor terrace, he walked to Li Sanjiang's bedroom, pushed the door open, and saw Li Sanjiang lying asleep on the bed. "Come along now — banquet time!" The Fat Chef walked to the bedside and reached out to take hold of Li Sanjiang's wrist. Next, he would drag this man's soul out and carry it off to the feast. However, all of a sudden, the Fat Chef felt the space around him twist. He, who had been standing in the bedroom, now stood on a great plaza, with towering halls rising on every side. And then, directly ahead of him, he saw: an old fellow in big white shorts riddled with holes, hopping along at the very front, leading a crowd of jiangshi in their jumps. When the old fellow hopped once, the jiangshi behind him all hopped in unison. When the old fellow landed carelessly and lost his footing, the jiangshi behind him all staggered together too. The sight frightened the Fat Chef straight back to his original color — a face the color of paper. And just at that moment, the jiangshi at the very end of the line, slowest of all to react, fell over. Its face turned to look behind it — and there it saw the Fat Chef, standing where he was. As if it had spotted some novel curiosity, the jiangshi came hopping straight toward him. The Fat Chef started to run at once, and the jiangshi started to chase. Whum! The Fat Chef reappeared at the bedside, back in the bedroom. He reached up and touched his own face, and his fingers came away thick with caked powder — the fright had knocked his makeup clean off. Thud! The floor shuddered without warning, as if some colossal thing had just touched down. ... "Come, little child, they've gone off to call people; let us start eating first." The Cat-Faced Old Woman reached out, grabbed a handful of dried fruits, and set them down in front of Li Zhuiyuan. Difficulty showed on Li Zhuiyuan's face. He had tried these before — never mind eating them; even holding them in his mouth had been misery. "Eat..." The old woman's tone pressed down low. Li Zhuiyuan could only pick one up, swallow, and put it into his mouth. In that instant a violent wave of nausea surged over him, but at the sight of the old woman's expression he could only cover his mouth with one hand and force himself not to bring it back up. "Mm, that's a good child. Little child, this is the way of it. No matter when, you must never fail to treasure food. Granny, in this life — starved before the liberation; after the liberation, starved as a widow raising three children; and once the children were grown, starved to death outright. "So Granny knows, better than anyone, how precious food is." Li Zhuiyuan could only nod while fighting down the nausea, but that mouthful of food simply would not go down. Just then, the Fat Chef came tumbling down the stairs in abject terror, shouting at the top of his voice: "Old granny, it's terrible! Old granny, disaster!" "What is it?" The Cat-Faced Old Woman rose to her feet. This was her "territory," and she was the master of it. Bang! A pair of long boots came down from above, landing squarely on the Fat Chef, stomping him clean apart into a heap of waste paper and wooden strips. "Ahh..." A sinister, guttural sound coiled around the entire banquet hall, and the temperature in it plunged. Li Zhuiyuan lifted his head, staring dumbstruck at the presence that had appeared before him out of nowhere. This was a jiangshi clad in a Qing official's robe, a mandarin hat crowned with a peacock feather upon its head!