Chapter 7

A wall apart, two beds. On the west bed, Li Sanjiang's brow was tightly furrowed; from time to time he muttered in his sleep, his hands and feet flailing irregularly. Yet despite such a strong reaction, he still could not wake from the nightmare. In the darkness, it was as if an invisible person were pressing down on him. The other party was heavy, pressing his chest tight, nearly making it impossible to breathe. Yet no matter how hard he tried, he could not push them away. Li Sanjiang himself had never expected that he, who had carried corpses all his life, would one day be pressed down by a ghost. Yet even in such a harried, flustered state, he could still find a consolation for himself: "It seems Little Yuanhou's misfortune has all been passed to me, then. The array has succeeded!" At this moment, on the east bed, Li Zhuiyuan lay quietly. No trace of pain showed on his face, his breathing steady, as if he were still sleeping soundly. However, Li Zhuiyuan opened his eyes in the dream. He sat up from the bed, first thinking he had woken, but when he glanced outside, it was pitch black. He understood: he was still dreaming, because the bedroom's screen window could let moonlight through—it couldn't be this pitch black. Looking around, Li Zhuiyuan found that all he could see was the bed beneath him. This was an old wooden bed with years on it; many details had been worn away by time, but careful exploration could still reveal exquisite, thoughtful carving. Li Zhuiyuan pushed the quilt off himself, crawled to the edge of the bed on his knees, and tried to reach out a hand, wanting to touch the outside. After all, this was a dream. During the day, Liu Manting had asked him whether he wasn't bored in the countryside. He answered that there were many fun things here. Yeah, indeed there were. In recent years, he had never understood why the prefix "bitter hardship" was so often added before the word "study." Studying wasn't just looking over concepts, theories, and formulas once, then doing those simple problems, was it? Only later did he realize that there really were people who could feel pain from the process of studying. He envied them. He was young, without much life or social experience; the place he had stayed longest was the classroom. As a student: you couldn't feel frustration and torment from difficult problems, couldn't feel joy and elation after solving them; there was no sense of suppression, no sense of sacrifice, and thus no sense of achievement. The sea of problems before him was like doing extremely boring grid doodling. Especially when, like other classmates, he reported his grades to his parents hoping for praise, his own mother always looked at him with an increasingly cold gaze—as if he had done something wrong and was growing more wrong by the moment. Therefore, he could get no emotion from studying, only... numbness. Change came from the moment he fell into the water and saw Little Oriole. He felt oppression, he felt pain, and moreover, when he witnessed Big Beard and his son sink into the fish pond and Little Oriole's last dance on the water's surface, he experienced a sense of achievement. Great-Grandpa had seen him standing there blankly at the time and advised him to think of happy things, like attending a banquet. He didn't tell Great-Grandpa that at the time his heart had been... exhilarated. A brand-new door had opened a crack before him. He came to like this unknown and eerie feeling. He finally came to understand ignorance and bewilderment—that sense of helplessness and uncontrollability produced some pleasure in his heart. He thought Grandma's act of taking a needle to call the soul and then placing it in a water bowl was impressive. He looked at Liu Jinxia and Li Sanjiang and found them even more impressive. They understood so many concepts, remembered so many formulas, they could solve problems, while he was just a poor student. Li Zhuiyuan's hand reached past the edge of the bed; he seemed to feel a breeze, very slight, so slight he even wondered if it was his imagination. Moreover, he could not see that hand of his reaching past the bed's edge. He drew the hand back and placed it before himself. Yes, the hand was still there. Immediately, he reached out again, this time downward. It was as if he felt a little coolness, still very slight, but at least he could confirm there was a difference in touch. At the height level with his bed's edge, the invisible outside held two different sensations of medium. Li Zhuiyuan closed his eyes and began to concentrate, to perceive as much as possible; the hand reaching downward also began to sway slowly back and forth, his fingers making irregular movements. More real, more delicate, continue. The previous two dreams: the first time he dreamed Little Oriole came to his home; the second time he dreamed of the hunchbacked grandfather carrying an old woman on his back. This dream, then, shouldn't just be simple blackness. Finally, he felt it: just now, as if something slender had slid past his fingertips. He immediately lay prone on the bed, letting his arm extend downward as far as possible. After a while, that previous sensation appeared again, and the frequency began to quicken. As if... waterweed? Li Zhuiyuan immediately thought of the black waterweed he had seen last time. Could it be hair? Continuously brushing past, continuously shuttling, stroking his fingertips and forearm; he pinched once and could still feel a fine hardness. As if it really were hair. "Pop." Li Zhuiyuan's eyes brightened; just now, as if something had lightly patted his palm—not the smoothness of hair, but something else. Wait, wait, wait... "Pop." The second time came. Like what, like what? Li Zhuiyuan began to ponder, comparing as much as possible images in his memory of similar texture collisions. "Pop." This time the force was greater, but still not enough! Li Zhuiyuan began to increase the amplitude of his arm's swaying—swaying, swaying... Finally, "Pop!" With a clear vibration, beside his ear he seemed to hear a crisp sound—like standing in place with your arm raised, just now someone walked over and gave you a high-five. While Li Zhuiyuan kept discovering, the thick blackness outside the bed also quietly, soundlessly faded. At the same time, the perception coming from below began to grow clearer. Li Zhuiyuan could even actively reach out to entwine that hair, and while waving, complete the next high-five. He realized those high-fives seemed not intentional on the other party's part, but his hand had simply happened to meet the other's palm, because he also perceived that he had slapped the back of a hand—the sound not so crisp. Suddenly, Li Zhuiyuan felt his reaching arm hit something; he felt a sharp pain and instinctively drew his arm up a little. This pulling back was like something originally jammed and blocked continuing to resume its course. And Li Zhuiyuan's fingertips touched a hard round arc; next a smooth concave depression; then a clear-knuckled upward rise, continuing along bone after bone, bumping along; next, touching a round, erect, elastic fullness. Then his fingers lost contact. He immediately sent his whole arm down; at the end, he grabbed five small bones bunched together. "Hah..." Li Zhuiyuan immediately drew back his hand, his face showing shock. It was a complete person—he had just felt from the back of her head all the way to her toes. Under the bed, someone! And not one or a few, but many, many—a whole crowd! At this moment, Li Zhuiyuan discovered that the thin quilt originally by his side was gone. He raised his head to look at the diagonal corner of the bed; there a child had the quilt tightly wrapped around himself, curled up, shivering, eyes full of terror. This child looked exactly like himself. "I'm so scared, I'm so scared, I'm really so scared... wuu wuu wuu... Mommy, come pick me up." Li Zhuiyuan just watched that "himself" trembling from fear and asked: "Why are you still here?" ... "Comrade, your son has already been tested and examined. He has no psychological problems at all—he's very healthy, sunny, and cheerful." The female doctor in a white coat, smiling, made the statement; at the same time, she couldn't help but reach out and gently touch the little boy's face before her. The little boy also smiled. Mm, what a lovely child. The female doctor raised her head again, looking at the mother standing beside the boy. She was somewhat puzzled: why, when she had given the "healthy" diagnosis, did this mother's face show not a bit of joy, but only coldness? Nowadays, psychology and psychological medicine were not yet widespread in the country, and the public's understanding of them was not deep; however, in the capital one could still find psychological clinics. "Mommy, I'm not sick." Eight-year-old Li Zhuiyuan actively took his mother's hand, looked up at her, and said, "Mommy, the doctor said I'm very healthy." Li Lan lowered her head to glance at her son, then looked at the doctor again and said: "You've been fooled by him." The female doctor spread her hands, controlling her emotions as much as possible, and explained: "Comrade, since you brought your son here, I think you should have some understanding of psychology, so you should believe our diagnosis and our professionalism." Li Lan: "I overestimated your professionalism." "As the child's mother, how can you be like this?" the female doctor could no longer hold back. "I've never seen a mother who, upon learning her son is healthy, could still feel dissatisfied. I really can't understand what you're thinking!" Li Lan: "You just said you were professional." Female doctor: "..." Li Lan took Li Zhuiyuan's hand, turned, and left the clinic. Li Zhuiyuan followed his mother's pace, head lowered, like a child who had done something wrong. They did not go home, but came to a psychological clinic affiliated with another foreign-related hospital. Li Zhuiyuan was taken by the new doctor inside for examination. Forty minutes later, the door opened, and Li Zhuiyuan was brought out. The doctor, face serious, said: "Ma'am, we now preliminarily suspect your son has fairly serious signs of schizophrenia and autism. In our consultation, this should be related to his family emotional life. He very much longs for his mother's care and companionship. So I hope that in the coming course of treatment, as the child's mother, you will cooperate with us as much as possible, so that your son can return to health." After hearing the doctor's words, Li Lan lowered her head, looked at Li Zhuiyuan standing before her, and asked: "Is it fun?" "Mommy, I..." The doctor couldn't bear to watch. He reached out to block Li Lan: "Ma'am, you shouldn't be so harsh with your son. His problem is already quite serious now. You must give it sufficient attention, otherwise later..." Li Lan didn't listen further; she turned and left. "Ma'am, ma'am!" No matter how the doctor shouted, she didn't turn back. Li Zhuiyuan trotted after her. Li Lan stopped in front of the restroom; Li Zhuiyuan stopped too. There just happened to be a large mirror here, reflecting the mother and son. Li Zhuiyuan saw the mother in the mirror. She was staring at herself in the mirror, a trace of disgust showing in her eyes. And when she lowered her gaze, landing on Li Zhuiyuan in the mirror, the disgust in her eyes still had not disappeared. "Mommy..." Li Zhuiyuan cautiously tugged at Li Lan's cuff. He very much wanted to ask his mother how he should act to make her like him as before, instead of growing increasingly indifferent in recent years. He believed that if he only knew, he could correct it quickly, because he learned things fast. "A-Lan, A-Lan, A-Lan!" Outside came the father's shouting voice. He came running, sweat pouring down his head, not caring to catch his breath, anxiously asking: "A-Lan, how is Xiao Yuan? Is there a problem?" "Daddy." "Oh, my son." Li Zhuiyuan was embraced by his father. Li Lan watched this father and son embracing. She seemed to be trying to restrain herself, but the muscles at the corner of her mouth still twitched upward slightly, revealing a mocking smile. The man raised his head and saw it. At this moment, various emotions long pent up in his heart could finally no longer be suppressed. He almost used a trembling voice to let out a low roar: "A-Lan, just what do you want? Just what will satisfy you? You insist on torturing us this way?" After roaring, he sat on the ground and cried. "Daddy, don't cry." Li Zhuiyuan stepped forward, wanting to help his father wipe away his tears. But he just then met his mother's gaze, and he immediately stopped all movement. Li Lan closed her eyes. After a while, she opened them again, then turned and walked out, leaving the father and son there. Li Zhuiyuan looked ahead. On the shiny tiles was reflected his mother's gradually receding figure. ... "Why are you still here?" On the bed, facing the "himself" wrapped in the quilt and shivering, Li Zhuiyuan asked a second time. But the other party still gave no answer. Li Zhuiyuan shook his head: "Thank you for helping me fool the doctor in that examination, but you don't exist." He himself did not have schizophrenia. As the words fell, the thin quilt landed on the bed. That "himself" who had been wrapped in it, shivering and calling for mommy, was gone. "Gush-la-la... gush-la-la... gush-la-la..." Around, suddenly came the clear sound of flowing water. The dense darkness finally faded, turning into a gray like pale ink splashed out. But at least, visibility had returned. Li Zhuiyuan slowly stood up and again looked around. He was standing on the bed, yet like standing on a boat. Because around was pitch-black surging river water, and in the river floated corpse after corpse, corpses dense as an endless rice field. "Great-Grandpa said that after sitting the rites I could return to normal. But why did I still dream? And still such a dream..." At this moment, wind seemed to rise on the river surface. The wind passed between those corpses, bringing the unique stench of dead-flippers—richer than rice fragrance by countless times. Li Zhuiyuan stood looking for a long time. He even walked to the head of the bed, leaning his hand on the bed rail to look. He didn't know how long this dream would last; he seemed to have no way to actively wake up. However... Li Zhuiyuan sat on the bed, tidied the rumpled thin quilt, folded it neatly, lay down, and covered his belly with the quilt. Mm, he prepared to sleep. ... "Mm..." Li Zhuiyuan opened his eyes. Outside was already bright. He knew he had really woken. This sleep—he had slept very comfortably. The whole person was refreshed, spirited. Li Zhuiyuan couldn't help but wonder: could sleeping in a dream be true deep sleep? If so, then dreams like last night's he not only wouldn't mind, but would even feel a bit reluctant to give up. After all, no matter how terrifying a nightmare, experiencing it often, he could get used to it. Lowering his head to look, he discovered the black cord rings on his neck, wrists, and ankles had actually broken by themselves. Great-Grandpa said they could be cut off in the morning; it should be fine, right? Getting off the bed, walking to the doorway. Before pushing the door, Li Zhuiyuan closed his eyes and began deep breathing. This was a habit he had learned from his mother. After getting up, his mother often stood before the bathroom mirror, very earnestly doing deep breathing. Although even until now, Li Zhuiyuan wasn't clear what the significance of doing this was. However, after pushing open the door and warm sunlight covered him, Li Zhuiyuan's mouth corner showed a smile, as if all the gloom of last night had vanished at this moment. Picking up the washbasin and toothbrush cup, Li Zhuiyuan came beside the terrace, drew water, and began washing up. "Xiao Yuan, after washing up come down for breakfast." Auntie Liu called out to him on the courtyard. "Okay, Auntie Liu." Li Zhuiyuan went downstairs. The small wooden stool this time wasn't placed inside the house but on the courtyard. On the wooden stool were already placed a bowl of white congee, a salted duck egg, a dish of pickled eggplant, and a dish of pickled ginger. "There's still congee in the pot. Want me to get you another duck egg?" "Enough, Auntie Liu. Thank you, Auntie Liu." "Thank what? This is Auntie Liu's work." Li Zhuiyuan was somewhat curious how much salary Great-Grandpa had to pay Auntie Liu. However, presumably Great-Grandpa's money was enough. Although he lived very "luxuriously," his income was also substantial. Most importantly, he had no children, didn't save money—he earned how much and spent how much. "Auntie Liu, did my Great-Grandpa go out?" "No. He probably hasn't gotten up yet." "Oh." Li Zhuiyuan began eating breakfast. He first knocked the blunt end of the duck egg against the wooden stool, then pried it open along the crack, then held it in his hand and used the chopstick tip to pick out and eat from inside. When he was nearly done, he saw at the east end of the courtyard, twenty meters away, square wooden stools and small benches were also set out, with white congee and pickled vegetables placed on them. The little girl he had seen yesterday was led out by her grandmother holding her hand, and she sat down. Today she wore a purple qipao, much more conservative than Little Oriole's, and the embroidery on her qipao was more delicate and rich. Additionally, today she had changed her hairstyle, with a wooden hairpin inserted in it. Such attention to dress was rarely seen in the countryside, especially now that it was summer. After all, most boys ran around the village wearing only underpants. Auntie Liu brought another set of square stools and small benches. This time a tea set was placed on the wooden stool. She lowered her head and said something to the old grandmother. The old grandmother waved her hand, and Auntie Liu left. The old grandmother, meanwhile, squatted before the girl, speaking softly and gently to her. The girl sat there, gaze level, same as yesterday. In her eyes there seemed to be no one else. But the old grandmother's persuasion ultimately worked. The girl silently lowered her head, picked up her chopsticks, and began eating. Li Zhuiyuan noticed she ate: one chopstickful of pickled vegetables, two mouthfuls of congee; one chopstickful of pickled vegetables, two mouthfuls of congee. The frequency never changed. The old grandmother peeled a salted duck egg for her. When she tried to hand it to her, the girl stopped. Her body seemed to begin trembling slightly. The old grandmother immediately apologized and took the salted duck egg away. The girl then continued eating—still one chopstickful of pickled vegetables, two mouthfuls of congee. Witnessing this scene, Li Zhuiyuan's mind conjured a person: his desk mate in the gifted class. He ate the same way, planning ahead how much dish with how much rice. By the end, definitely all dish and rice would enter his mouth. Not only that. When leaving the classroom, walking, he had to step on the corners of the floor tiles. If he stepped wrong one day, he would run back into the classroom and walk out again. Even if he had needed the toilet beforehand, he would hold it in. The girl ate quickly. After finishing, she put down her chopsticks. The old grandmother took out a handkerchief and carefully wiped her mouth corners and fingers. Then she stood up, picked up the bench, and walked back to the east room. In the same position, she put down the bench, sat down, feet stepping on the threshold, gaze level ahead. The old grandmother glanced at her somewhat helplessly, then stood up and sat on a chair. Li Zhuiyuan perceived that the other's gaze again fell on him. However, unlike yesterday, this time she actively waved her hand and called him: "Come, come over. Let me look." Li Zhuiyuan walked over. After approaching, he seemed able to smell a fragrant incense scent emanating from her. "Hello, Grandma." "You're called Xiao Yuan, right?" "Mm. Li Zhuiyuan." "Grandma's surname is Liu." "Grandma Liu." "Good. After living here, it's still the first time I've seen other children. Hehe." Liu Yumei raised her wrist, glanced at that pair of bracelets, hesitated a moment. She seemed to feel this was unsuitable. Finally, she still removed a jade thumb ring from her ring finger and held it out before Li Zhuiyuan. "Come. Grandma's meeting gift for you." Li Zhuiyuan waved his hand: "I can't take it, Grandma Liu. It's too valuable." "Fake. Glass. Just treat it as a toy to play with." "No. I can't take it." Liu Yumei pushed it forward again, urging: "An elder's gift cannot be declined. Declining is disrespectful." Li Zhuiyuan stepped back half a step. He didn't reach out to take it, but replied: "I have to ask my Great-Grandpa." Liu Yumei nodded, put the jade thumb ring back in her pocket, and didn't put it back on her finger. "Xiao Yuan, what grade are you in?" "Third grade." "How are your grades?" "All right." "How old are you this year?" "Ten." "What month?" "August." "Then you're one month older than our A-Liang." Saying this, Liu Yumei looked toward the girl sitting behind the threshold. "Originally, our A-Liang should also be entering third grade." Then Liu Yumei's expression darkened somewhat. Yeah. Originally her granddaughter should also be like the little boy before her—cheerful and healthy, attending school. "Oh, right. Xiao Yuan, while living here you can go to other places. Just don't go to the east room. Hmm. Don't approach A-Liang. Our A-Liang doesn't like outsiders approaching. She's shy. Timid around strangers.." Grandma Liu spoke the same warning Great-Grandpa had given him last night. Li Zhuiyuan asked: "Grandma, does A-Liang have autism?" Liu Yumei looked at the little boy before her, very surprised. "You know about this?" These days, most people haven't even heard this term. "Mm." Liu Yumei blinked, reached out, and took Li Zhuiyuan's hand, and asked: "How is it? Is there an adult in your family who studies this?" Mm. They study me. "I saw it in the newspaper." "Oh." Liu Yumei sighed somewhat disappointedly. "Grandma Liu, in big cities there are doctors who can treat this illness." Li Zhuiyuan was very curious. Her family didn't seem short of money. Why not take Qin Liang to a big city for treatment, but live here? "Our A-Liang isn't ordinary autism. Going to the hospital to see doctors is useless." Li Zhuiyuan somewhat didn't understand. Hospital useless. Did living at Great-Grandpa's help? Liu Yumei turned sideways, looked at the tea set on the wooden stool, and asked: "Drink tea?" "Thank you, Grandma." Seeing Liu Yumei prepare to bend down to get the hot water bottle, Li Zhuiyuan picked it up first: "Let me do it." "Mm? Good. You do it." Li Zhuiyuan opened the tea cake: measured the tea, waited for the water, brewed the tea, rinsed the pot, warmed the cups, poured the tea... When the elders in the staff compound held tea gatherings, they would call him over to be responsible for brewing tea. He also had to go, because he still needed to scrounge meals at their homes. Liu Yumei had been watching Li Zhuiyuan's movements. She suddenly felt this child was very interesting. "Grandma, drink tea." "Mm." Sipping a mouthful of tea, Liu Yumei spoke: "From now on the tea-brewing work is entrusted to you. Grandma here has quite a few snacks." "Okay." At this moment, commotion came from the second-floor terrace. Soon Li Sanjiang came downstairs, his face full of weariness, spirit listless. Liu Yumei slightly turned her head, smiling: "How is it? Didn't sleep last night and ran off to be a thief?" Li Sanjiang sighed. More uncomfortable than being a thief. Last night in his dream he had been chased by a group of Qing-dynasty zombies the whole night! "Little Yuanhou, how did you sleep last night?" "Great-Grandpa, I slept very well." "That's good. That's good..." Li Sanjiang let out a long breath. It seemed the array had indeed succeeded. His suffering some hardship was worth it. Auntie Liu brought breakfast to Li Sanjiang. Li Sanjiang was eating when Li Weihan and Cui Guiying appeared in the distance. They were carrying Li Zhuiyuan's change of clothes and snacks. Previously when at home, all the children were present. These foods each time could only be shared by all the children together. Now Li Zhuiyuan lived outside, so the leftovers were all brought over. "Little Yuanhou, living here you must listen to Great-Grandpa's words. Don't cause trouble for Great-Grandpa. Understand?" "Grandma will come see you, child. Be good. If you want to come home, just run back home to take a look. Understand?" "Smack smack smack!" Li Sanjiang angrily struck the wooden stool with his chopsticks and cursed: "Hanhou, you little brat! Bringing things so early in the morning. Is it because you're afraid that if you come later, your Uncle me would keep you for a meal? Heh. Now you're something. You're not even willing to sit with your Uncle and drink a cup of wine. You've become distant, estranged. You don't treat Uncle as family, right?" Li Weihan and Cui Guiying saw this and immediately stepped forward to soothe and apologize. After soothing Li Sanjiang well, they left. Li Sanjiang scraped the last bit of congee in the bowl into his mouth, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and said to Li Zhuiyuan standing beside him: "Your grandpa is such a sour person. If he takes a bit more advantage from others, he can't sleep at night. That's what angers me most about him." His field had originally been for Li Weihan to farm. Who knew this old brat later actually terminated the lease? "So Great-Grandpa, you're willing to let Grandpa support you in your old age." Li Sanjiang smacked his lips a few times. These words truly spoke to his heart. He knew clearly that when he truly could not take care of himself, Li Weihan would not only take care of him, but most importantly, wouldn't give him a cold face. He, Li Sanjiang, had lived freely his whole life. Even in his final years, he didn't want to suffer a bit of grievance. But in front of the child, Li Sanjiang still had to put on airs: "What's that? Supporting me in old age lost him something? The land is the village collective's. But my house, my business, the things I've saved—won't they all eventually go to him? Hmph. He doesn't lose out." Immediately after, Li Sanjiang touched Li Zhuiyuan's chin and continued: "However, I don't want my things eventually divided among your ungrateful uncles. Little Yuanhou, be obedient. Please Great-Grandpa me more. Great-Grandpa will draw up a document. Later all this property will go directly to you. Okay?" "Okay. When I grow up, I'll support Great-Grandpa you in your old age." "Hahahaha! By the time you grow up, Great-Grandpa me probably won't be around anymore." But hearing this, he truly felt happy. Full of good fortune. Li Zhuiyuan remembered the basement Auntie Liu mentioned yesterday, and also remembered the Jinshaluo Wenjing he had seen last night on the floor of Li Sanjiang's room. He spoke: "Great-Grandpa, what's in your basement?" "The valuable things are on the first floor. The basement things aren't valuable. They're just junk Great-Grandpa picked up before, plus over ten boxes of waste books others left with Great-Grandpa—ghost-drawn-symbol things you can't understand at a glance." Books? Light shone in Li Zhuiyuan's eyes. That wasn't waste books. That was his tutoring material. He urgently wanted to improve his academic performance. "Great-Grandpa, can I go in and look?" "What?" Li Sanjiang was somewhat surprised. "What's good to look at in those things?" "You said the property would be left to me later. Your words don't count." "Fine, fine, fine. If you want to rummage, then rummage. The key is in the cloth shoes beside that door. Careful of dust. It's dirty inside. I haven't gone in for several years." "Thank you, Great-Grandpa." Just as Li Zhuiyuan prepared to go explore the basement, outside on the small path, a hunched figure walked out. It was Niu Fu. "Uncle Sanjiang, Uncle Sanjiang, I've come to beg you!" Almost instinctively, Li Zhuiyuan's gaze immediately fell on Niu Fu's hunched back. Then he immediately remembered Liu Jinxia's warning. He immediately turned sideways and twisted his head away, not looking at him. But precisely because of this, Li Zhuiyuan saw Qin Liang, who had originally sat motionless in the east room like a sculpture, actually move her neck. Her gaze looked toward Niu Fu's back. She could see!