Quite the Madman

"You can hear the thoughts in my head?" Li Banfeng recoiled in shock, swiftly stepping back two paces. Ling Miaosheng smiled. "Sir, there is no need to worry. To be frank, I am a Scrying Cultivator. It was precisely because I heard music in your heart that I introduced so many gramophones to you. I know you are a man who loves music, and I would gladly be your friend. But just now, I heard the hiss of spewing steam. Because of that, I'm afraid I cannot help you. In the entirety of Puluo Province, there are only two steam gramophones manufactured in Amikan. One is aboard the Lu family's special train, and the whereabouts of the other remain unknown. I surmise you have special feelings for that machine, but unfortunately, I cannot help you replace what you have lost." Ling Miaosheng prepared to see his guest out. Li Banfeng glanced around the room. "The sewing-machine gramophone and the bellows gramophone—I'll take them." Ling Miaosheng paused, taken aback, then shook his head slightly. "Sir, allow me to remind you that every gramophone possesses its own distinct qualities and timbre. What you seek cannot be found in those two machines. Besides, neither of them comes cheap." Li Banfeng nodded. "Name your price. If I said I'll buy them, I'll buy them." The two gramophones were indeed far from cheap: sixty thousand for the bellows model, and seventy thousand for the sewing-machine model. Yet Li Banfeng believed their gears, bearings, and other internal mechanisms could prove useful. Without hesitation, he paid in cash. Still, gears and bearings alone would not suffice. The steam components within his wife had also suffered severe damage: connecting rods were bent, and several water pipes were leaking. Where was he supposed to find replacements for those? Then he spotted an unexhibited machine sitting in a corner of the room. From it, Li Banfeng caught the faint scent of fuel. "That machine over there—let me see it!" Ling Miaosheng quickly clarified, "Sir, that is not a gramophone. That is a shadow-play machine." A shadow-play machine? In truth, it was a film projector. It was simply a projector that had nothing to do with electricity. Most cinemas in Puluo Province operated without electricity anyway. Movies did not actually require electricity; as long as there was light, film, and rotational motion, that was enough. When Ling Miaosheng drew back the drape, Li Banfeng's eyes lit up. This projector was the treasure he needed. It was steam-driven! "An Amikan steam shadow-play machine, fueled by tallow. Since you've seen a steam gramophone, its operating principles shouldn't be unfamiliar to you." Ling Miaosheng demonstrated the machine for him. First mounting a heavy film canister and hanging up a projection screen, Ling Miaosheng ignited the tallow. Inside the fuel tank, three mirrors reflected and directed the flames behind the lens. The fire served not only as the driving force for the steam engine, but also as the projector's light source. Once the focus was adjusted and the pressure reached the proper level, the piston rose, steam hissed forth, and the connecting rods turned the gears. The projector began running. It was a black-and-white film fifteen minutes long, depicting the misadventures of a man and a woman stranded on a deserted island. There was practically no plot, only bizarre and comedic physical performances. When the film ran its course, Ling Miaosheng extinguished the projector's flame and turned to Li Banfeng. "This shadow-play machine comes from the very same factory as the steam gramophone. As for the price, however, it is by no means cheap." Ling Miaosheng quoted three hundred thousand. Li Banfeng did not haggle. Since they were made by the same manufacturer, the parts were bound to be interchangeable. Using the excuse of heading home to fetch money, Li Banfeng stepped out to make a trip to his Portable Abode. He returned and paid the cash directly, purchasing all three machines together. Impressed by Li Banfeng's straightforwardness, Ling Miaosheng threw in thirty records and twenty film reels as gifts. Li Banfeng also purchased ten barrels of tallow and two barrels of engine oil, then hired a horse-drawn cart to haul the two gramophones and the projector away. Li Banfeng gave an arbitrary address. Once they reached a narrow lane, he had the carter unload the goods right there. The carter kindly reminded him, "Boss Ling already covered everything, and he told me to carry the goods inside your home." Li Banfeng waved a hand. "No need to bring them inside. Right here is fine. Head on back." Delighted to get off easy, the carter drove away in high spirits. Just as Li Banfeng reached for his key to move the items into the Portable Abode, he sensed malice closing in from behind. Li Banfeng snapped his head around and saw a young man briskly walking toward him. Fewer than ten meters separated them. Seeing that Li Banfeng had noticed him, the man stopped in his tracks, gazing at him with a grin. What was going on? The man had drawn this close, yet Li Banfeng hadn't heard a single footstep? This man was a cultivator. From which pathway? Before he could ponder further, danger closed in from all sides. Five more figures emerged from the alleys flanking the lane, hemming Li Banfeng in the center. None of them made a sound as they walked. One stepped forward and stroked the gramophones; another felt the projector; yet another brushed past Li Banfeng himself. Li Banfeng felt his inner pocket lighten, and his wallet was gone. Such deft hands! What pathway were they from? A man in suspenders flipped open Li Banfeng's wallet and grinned at a man in a suit beside him. "Big Brother, look at this! He really is loaded—over ten thousand bucks in here!" "Do you even need to say that?" the man in the suit chuckled. "If he didn't have money, could he afford such expensive gramophones? And buy so many of them at once? Hey, brother, since you're so rich, how about bestowing a little something on the two of us, just to make friends?" This was Lüshui City? Even Lüshui City had this kind of nonsense? Li Banfeng nodded. "Sure, let's make friends. What's your name?" The crew burst out laughing. The man in suspenders laughed until his sides ached, turning toward the suited man. "Big Brother, he's asking for your name! Think you'll tell him?" The suited man smiled. "I won't be telling you my name, but we belong to the Ghost Hand Sect. You can ask around Lüshui City about our reputation. Being friends with us won't do you any harm." "I don't think it does me any harm either. The cash in the wallet is yours. Does that count as making friends?" Uttering such words was no small feat for Li Banfeng. Robbing him was crossing his bottom line, but today he swallowed his anger. He didn't want to linger in Lüshui City; he was in a rush to repair his wife, and he also worried about exposing his identity. "This bit of money isn't quite enough, though." The suited man glanced at the wallet in his subordinate's hand, then turned his gaze toward the gramophones beside Li Banfeng. "Leave these machines behind too. We might not know the exact market, but goods from Ling Miaosheng's shop are bound to fetch a handsome sum." "I can't give you the gramophones." Li Banfeng shook his head. The man in suspenders grinned. Flashing forward in an instant, he tapped Li Banfeng's face with the wallet. "What did you just say? You said you can't? You're telling us 'no'? Do you have any idea what comes of that? Do you know—" *Whoosh!* Li Banfeng raised his hand in a flash, slicing the suspendered man's throat with a Mandarin Duck Axe. The man clutched his neck, staring wide-eyed at Li Banfeng, his face flooded with shock and terror. Li Banfeng snatched his wallet back from the man's grip and gave his face two sharp slaps. The suited man recoiled in horror, whipping out a dagger and lunging for Li Banfeng's throat. Li Banfeng grabbed the dying man's head, using the back of the skull to block the thrust. Another figure in black crept up behind him; Li Banfeng swung the Hanxue pendulum in reverse, cleaving straight into the assailant's neck. The suited man froze in sheer disbelief. What kind of monster was this? How could he butcher men even more effortlessly than slaughtering chickens? *** At one in the morning, Li Banfeng hauled the two gramophones and the projector back into the Portable Abode. Not a sound came from his wife; she appeared to still be asleep. Li Banfeng slumped down beside her, his breath ragged and strained. Catching the sharp scent of blood, the wife stirred. *Chhh, chhh...* "Oh my~ Hus~band," wavered her voice, its pitch still erratically fluctuating. "Where did you go?" "Made a trip to Lüshui City. Ran into some people from the Ghost Hand Sect and had a scrap with them." "Why did you run off to Lüshui City? Aren't people... hunting for you? Heading off to that~ place, are you tired of living or something?" Li Banfeng gave a wry smile. "I thought you never cared about anything outside this residence." *Puff, puff...* "Ghost Hand Sect? Thief Cultivators? That pathway is still around! Hus~band, your servant is already hurt, yet you didn't even think to bring~ back a couple of those little thieves to nourish my~ body?" "There were too many of them. I had my hands full." "The more there are, the bet~ter! Bring them all back~, and your servant will deal with them." Li Banfeng laughed weakly. "In the state you're in, what if you couldn't take them?" "What state am I~ in? Are you looking down~ on me now? Did I end up in this state for anyone other than you? You brought back all this junk, filling up the whole house, yet you didn't think to fetch me a bite to eat. You treat your servant poorly, you treat your servant poorly, you... Why are you hurt like that?" The gramophone was damaged, and her vision was impaired. Only now did she notice Li Banfeng clutching his abdomen, blood still seeping out. "Husband, why are you hurt~ so badly?" He had taken a deep stab wound. "Didn't I just say? There were too many of them." Li Banfeng leaned against the gramophone, his breathing growing heavier and more labored. "If there were so many, why didn't you run? What did you drag all this junk back for?" "This isn't junk. These are an Amikan gramophone and a projector. In a little while, I'll take them apart and swap the parts into you. Once they're in, you'll be fine." "You risked your life running all the way to Lüshui City just for this?" Li Banfeng said nothing more. Bracing himself against the floor, he tried to stand up. He intended to start stripping down the machines. *Hiss—* A cloud of steam enveloped Li Banfeng, guiding him gently onto the bed. It coiled around him, tenderly caressing his wound. Li Banfeng's lips trembled as he gritted his teeth. "Damn, that hurts..." The vapor swirled around his forehead. Drowsiness washed over him; he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. *Puff, puff...* "You madman, who do you think you are? You actually thought you could save me? Who gave you the ability? Who gave you the gall?" *Puff, puff...* "Do I need you to save me? I merely treat you as a weapon capable of killing, using you to earn my food. Did you really take me for your wife?" From the outer room, the bronze lotus sneered, "If this madman hadn't saved you, how much longer could your worthless frame have held out?" The gramophone gave a cold chuckle. "It's just a body, what does it matter if I discard it? I can simply find another." "Can you really transfer into another object? Is there anything in this house suitable for you?" "There might not be in this house, but there's plenty outside." "Can you even leave? Besides, an object that can manage fire, boil water, and sing songs isn't easy to find out there. Yet this madman managed to gather everything you need." *Puff, puff...* The gramophone had no desire to argue with Red Lotus. She continued to stroke Li Banfeng gently with her steam. "You madman... what a madman you are." *Puff, puff...* Li Banfeng suddenly jolted awake. "Wife, did you call me?" *Whoosh—* A blanket of warm steam drifted over him, lulling Li Banfeng back into his dreams. The vapor lingered around him through the entire night.