With the pill poison neutralized by the Blue Leaf Pill, Li Banfeng entered the Portable Abode, intending to rest for the night before heading into the cave the next day.
It was freezing outside. Entering the room, Li Banfeng took a sip of liquor and suddenly felt the chamber was far warmer than usual.
Could it be...
"Aiya! You madman! Locking lips with another woman right in front of my face—how are we supposed to live together like this?"
His wife had awakened. Li Banfeng hastily explained, "I wasn't locking lips. I just had a sip of liquor."
"I saw it with my own eyes, and you still deny it!"
The liquor gourd spoke up. "Little sister, a gourd has only one mouth, and I merely fed him a mouthful of liquor. You're overthinking things."
"Little sister? Who's your little sister? You take liberties with my man, and now I'm supposed to call you elder sister or something?"
"This girl has quite a temper. What, you want to test each other out?" The liquor gourd's temper flared as well.
"Huya! In the blink of an eye, I've become a little girl to you! Tomorrow will I have to call you 'Madam'?!"
Clang! Clang! Clang!
The gongs and drums beat with mounting fury. Beside them, the Tang dao chanted, "Only the newcomer's laughter is heard, while the former love's weeping goes ignored! Morals aren't what they used to be, no, they aren't! This matter must be settled fair and square!"
Li Banfeng kicked the Tang dao away. Sensing things were going south, he slipped into the outer chamber to take shelter.
In the outer chamber, the bronze lotus was still refining pills, halos of light rippling across it layer upon layer.
This batch was taking a very long time. Not only was Pan Dehai's flesh and blood taking ages to finish, but Linli's corpse had not finished refining either.
Clatter and clatter echoed beyond the door. Five minutes later, a burst of laughter came through.
"Ho-hahaha!"
Why was his wife laughing?
Could she have killed the liquor gourd?
Such a precious magical treasure, gone just like that?
Li Banfeng blanched. He pushed the door open, only to be met by a room full of intoxicating aroma.
Burp~ gurgle gurgle~
The wife let out a drunken hiccup and sang, "Good sister, we can say that no discord today means no concord tomorrow!"
The liquor gourd replied, "Senior, I was careless with my words just now and offended you. Given my standing, how could I presume to call you sister?"
"Let's not fuss over that. And don't call me senior—it makes one sound old! From now on, we'll treat each other as sisters!"
What in the world had just happened?
It was quite simple. The liquor gourd had never wanted to fight the gramophone. While dodging and weaving, she had exhaled a mist of liquor, sending half a gourd's worth straight into the gramophone's water tank. Once his wife had a drink, her mood brightened considerably, and the two had become sworn sisters.
Huff!
The wife took a deep drink inside the tank and sighed. "Liquor without food to go with it always falls a little short."
Li Banfeng quickly chimed in, "I'll go buy groceries tomorrow."
His wife was still dissatisfied. "If you buy groceries tomorrow, doesn't that mean we have to drink with nothing to go with it tonight?"
If we don't drink it plain, what else do you want?
The only edible thing left in this room is me. Are you thinking of eating me?
Just as Li Banfeng was inwardly grumbling, he noticed the gongs and drums were growing dense again.
Da-da-da~ Tai!
What now?
Are you actually going to eat me?
With his wife's temperament, nothing was off the table!
Just as the tension mounted, the liquor gourd spoke up, steering the conversation away. "Sister, what did you mean by buying groceries just now?"
"Catching people and bringing them back to eat!" His wife did not mince words in the slightest.
The liquor gourd was not surprised. "Sister, you can't blame our little brother for that. The day before yesterday, he actually did bring someone back. Sadly, you weren't awake yet, so he gave him to Second Mistress."
"Second Mistress? You mean he gave it to that wretched Red Lotus? Aiya, husband~ Does that mean what you brought back was dead?"
The liquor gourd said, "He was indeed dead. Died before even crossing the threshold."
Pfft!
The gramophone scoffed coldly. "I don't eat dead things. What's so good about such filthy carrion?"
"Sister, Second Mistress ate with great delight. It's been two days, and she still hasn't finished."
"Two days and she still hasn't finished?" Chuff, chuff~ The gramophone vented two puffs of steam. "Aiya, husband, what good thing did you catch for that wretched Red Lotus?"
"It wasn't anything special," Li Banfeng said with an honest smile. "Just Linli from Mount Xueya."
"Linli? One of the dripping bloodfang monsters?" His wife's knowledge was broad indeed.
The Sanpan River newland was sparsely populated, Mount Xueya was hardly famous, and Linli was not a high-tier strange creature. Yet his wife even recognized something like that.
"Wife, it really wasn't anything great. Bloodfang monsters only have fifth-tier cultivation, and Linli might not even match a bloodfang monster."
"Aiya~ Husband!" The wife's singing tone brimmed with regret. "You're being foolish! Dripping bloodfang monsters are an anomaly unique to newlands. Anomalies like that cannot be measured by tiers. They are truly good stuff—what a bargain that wretched Red Lotus got!"
Li Banfeng did not understand. "Why can't they be measured by tiers?"
"Within a newland, strange creatures fall into three categories. The first category comprises living beings from Puluo Province that wandered into a newland by accident. Eroded by the newland year after year, they acquired Dao affinity and became anomalies. This type has little Dao affinity, and cultivating is exceedingly difficult for them.
"The second category is the offspring of the first. They were born in a newland, yet their bloodline remains that of Puluo Province. The Dao affinity in their bodies is greater than the first category's, and their appearances are more peculiar. That bagworm moth was one of these.
"The third category consists of strange creatures native to the newland. In terms of bloodline, they have no relation to Puluo Province. They are beings nurtured directly by the newland, brimful of Dao affinity, and are rare, exquisite culinary ingredients!"
Brimful of Dao affinity?
Wasn't Dao affinity just dark matter?
Having lots of dark matter in one's body made them top grade?
Li Banfeng asked, "How much Dao affinity did Linli have?"
His wife offered an analogy: "Just like someone who has been bathed in Heavenly Light—the mere thought of them makes the mouth water!"
Li Banfeng shivered and stopped talking about strange creatures. "Wife, I'm going to sleep in the fourth chamber."
"What are you going to the fourth chamber for?"
"The smell of liquor is too strong here. The fumes are keeping me awake."
"Go on, go on, don't interrupt us sisters drinking! Gourd sister, your gourd's spout is so small; you're going to suffer in the future."
"Suffer from what? Sister, don't scare me."
"I'm not scaring you. You have no idea how ruthless this madman of ours can be. When he applies machine oil, he's truly a wicked sort, going straight for the places you can't bear..."
The fourth chamber lay at the far end of the outer chamber, farthest from the master bedroom.
Li Banfeng went inside, laid out his bedding, climbed under the covers, and went to sleep.
At dawn the next day, Li Banfeng climbed the cliff via green vines and entered the cave.
The cave was not wide, but ventilation was good. Li Banfeng sniffed carefully; there was no foul air inside.
Taking a few steps along the cavern, that sluggish resistance returned to his feet, remarkably similar to how it felt walking through the briar patch.
One couldn't merely call it similar.
It was even more intense than in the briars.
In the briars, Li Banfeng had felt as if he were wearing shackles; in this cave, he felt as if both feet were bound tightly.
After walking several dozen meters, Li Banfeng was panting. His body sensed a certain shift—a day's worth of cultivation seemed to be complete.
For a third-tier journey cultivator, as Li Banfeng understood it, one had to walk at least one hundred and fifty li a day.
And it was already full now?
Cultivation progress was a good thing, but how was he supposed to get through this cave?
According to Old Yao's map markings, this cave was over a hundred li long. Yet here he was, barely past the entrance, already unable to walk.
While Li Banfeng was fretting, his eyes inadvertently swept toward the cave mouth.
Something was swaying at the entrance.
Because it was far away, he couldn't see it clearly.
There seemed to be two antennae.
Many body segments.
And countless legs.
It was a millipede!
This creature was also called a thousand-legged worm. Li Banfeng compared it to the dimensions of the cave entrance: lying on the ground, this millipede's height reached half the height of the opening.
It was a full meter tall, its length unknown.
Was it a benign sort?
Hard to say.
Li Banfeng scrambled to his feet, preparing to run. After two strides, he realized his speed was entirely inadequate.
His legs were far too heavy; he couldn't run fast at all.
He might be slow, but the millipede was anything but.
Rustle, rustle!
Moving its dense, blurred mass of legs, the creature scurried straight toward Li Banfeng.
He couldn't turn his back to run. If it caught him from behind, he would be done for.
Drawing his sickle and Tang dao, Li Banfeng charged toward the millipede.
Seeing Li Banfeng approach, the millipede instantly went on guard, rearing up part of its body to look down upon him.
Under normal circumstances, Li Banfeng wouldn't fear this bug at all, but current circumstances were far from normal.
Both of his legs felt as heavy as a thousand jin, making it impossible to step freely. This essentially stripped him of a journey cultivator's greatest advantage.
The bug struck first, whipping its antennae straight toward Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng dodged with great difficulty. The antenna slammed against the rock wall, shattering a stone.
Just one antenna had that much power!
This creature's strength was not inferior to Madam Bagworm Moth's!
The millipede raised both antennae, preparing to attack again.
If both came down together, dodging would be nearly impossible.
The situation was critical; he couldn't just sit and wait for death. Li Banfeng intended to leap up, hook the bug's head with his sickle, and then have the Tang dao sweep across to decapitate it.
Bang!
Li Banfeng planted a foot on the ground, but failed to leap.
The Tang dao swept forward on its own, but lacking Li Banfeng's coordination, its trajectory was too obvious and it was batted away by the bug's antenna.
This bug possessed intelligence! Its offensive and defensive tactics were crystal clear.
The two antennae closed in from left and right, pouncing toward Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng crouched to evade them. The antennae swept through empty air, skimmed the ground, and whipped back around.
This bug was damnably vicious!
Seeing that Li Banfeng couldn't jump, it was targeting his lower body.
How was he supposed to dodge this?!
The two antennae crossed behind Li Banfeng, leaving him no room to retreat.
Jump!
He had to jump, no matter what!
Even if his legs weighed ten thousand jin, he had to jump today!
Li Banfeng glared with bloodshot eyes and gritted his teeth, channeling every ounce of strength into his legs to launch himself.
His right leg came up, but his left didn't. What was meant to be a leap turned into a heavy stamp on the spot.
He was finished!
If both legs took a blow from the millipede, they would surely be crippled!
Seeing it was just a bug, Li Banfeng hadn't thought much of it, never expecting to suffer such a terrible loss.
Had he known this would happen, he should have retreated into the Portable Abode from the start instead of fighting head-on!
Li Banfeng frantically reached for his key. Even if both legs were snapped by the millipede, he would crawl back into the room.
Just as he pulled out the key, he realized the antennae hadn't struck his legs.
Where had they gone?
They were floating near the top of the cave.
The millipede had its head tilted back and its body raised upright, seemingly pondering something.
What had just happened?
Had the liquor gourd stepped in?
The liquor gourd spoke up: "Little brother, you just crushed a pebble under your foot."
A pebble?
Li Banfeng looked down and saw half a pebble crushed beneath his sole.
Where was the other half?
The other half was embedded in the millipede's skull.
Its skull was extremely hard and hadn't been pierced through, but a dent had been punched right into it.
Li Banfeng stared dumbfounded at his feet, then looked at the broken piece of stone.
Chapter 158