The Tang dao slashed through the flower's stem, sending the bud tumbling to the ground.
Severely wounded, the Dream Actor Flower temporarily lost control over her technique.
Freed from the constraints of the Dream Cultivator technique, waking up was easy for Li Banfeng now.
The liquor gourd sprayed a mouthful of wine onto Li Banfeng's face. Jolted by the stinging, hot liquor, Li Banfeng regained consciousness.
"Lord, you're finally awake!" the Tang dao exclaimed in delight.
Taking advantage of the Tang dao looking toward Li Banfeng, a segment of stamen poked out from between the petals, trying to burrow into the earth.
The Tang dao sprang into the air, chopping the stamen in two.
Did she think the Tang dao would lose focus just from speaking to Li Banfeng?
Fat chance.
Even if the Tang dao were sparring with Li Banfeng, it would still cut her down the moment the Dream Actor Flower dared to flee.
The lower half of the stamen lay motionless, but the upper half was still writhing.
Li Banfeng pinched the upper half in his fingers, and the stamen shrieked hoarsely, "Spare me! I know I was wrong! Mercy, spare my life!"
Li Banfeng was about to crush the Dream Actor Flower to death when a thought suddenly struck him.
The folding fan had been reforged by the Red Lotus, but it still lacked spirituality.
Li Banfeng asked the gourd, "Does this flower have enough spirituality?"
The gourd pondered for a moment. "A Dream Actor Flower is a rare find, so it certainly has plenty of spirituality. But it would be best to let Eldest Sister deal with it first."
By Eldest Sister, she meant the gramophone.
The gramophone had been asleep for so many days; it was about time for her to wake up. Perhaps he should try applying some machine oil tonight?
Just as Li Banfeng was about to carry the stamen into the Portable Abode, he heard it wail, "Grandpa! I'm only half a body now—I won't survive half a day before I perish! You're a kindhearted soul, I beg you to have mercy and take the rest of my remains with you too! I'll serve you every day from now on—whatever you command, I'll do!"
Li Banfeng truly was softhearted; seeing such peculiar petals and leaves, it really seemed a waste to abandon them outside. What if they could be used to refine elixirs?
He gathered up the entire Dream Actor Flower into the Portable Abode. The Dream Actor Flower heaped him with tearful gratitude.
The pendulum sneered under its breath, "Foolish woman. Wouldn't a swift death have been better? Once the First Lady wakes up, it'll be too late even if you want to die."
Sure enough, the gramophone woke up.
She hadn't awakened naturally; she had been awakened by the noise of the Dream Actor Flower.
Upon first entering the Portable Abode, the Dream Actor Flower had behaved herself, obediently staying in a flower vase without daring to utter a peep.
Once Li Banfeng left, and the other artifacts followed suit, the Dream Actor Flower couldn't hold back from singing.
It was her nature; she couldn't suppress it even if she tried.
When alive, she would take the stage even while critically ill.
After dying on stage, she lingered around the dance hall for seven days.
When the seven days passed, instead of reincarnating, she fled into the newland, transformed into a Dream Actor Flower, and continued to sing.
Over the years, the living beings and passing travelers she had sung to death were beyond count.
Whoever listened to her tunes would stand transfixed on the spot, listening for three days and three nights until their flesh withered and bones rotted, eventually turning into a leaf on her stem.
The Dream Actor Flower's gown of evening attire had been built up from these very listeners.
Yet today, she had chosen the wrong audience.
The Red Lotus found her obnoxious and had long wanted to swallow her, but refining the insect chief's head was at a critical juncture, so the Red Lotus held off for the moment.
Besides, the Red Lotus didn't consume living souls; even if it destroyed the Dream Actor Flower's physical form, it couldn't obliterate her spirit.
Waking the gramophone, however, was a grave mistake.
"You damn little hussy! You sing like garbage, and you won't shut your fucking wailing!" All three needles plunged into the petals at once, devouring the songstress's soul clean amid her agonized screams.
With the soul devoured, the wife preserved its spirituality.
Reduced to pure spirituality, the Dream Actor Flower lost most of her memories, retaining only a few song lyrics. Standing beside the bed, she carried on singing.
The wife belched a puff of steam, gagging the songstress's mouth. "Even a single note from your humming soils my ears."
The Red Lotus sneered, "Vicious woman, where do you have ears?"
The gramophone barked, "Slut, finish eating that bug's head already! We're still waiting for you to refine a magical artifact!"
That evening, Li Banfeng returned and discussed refining the artifact with the gramophone.
The wife said, "Dream Cultivators excel at ambushes, while Virtue Cultivators excel at maneuvering. Combining the spirituality of a Dream Cultivator with the bones and sinews of a Virtue Cultivator can indeed forge a fine treasure that balances offense and defense. Still, the quality of this treasure depends on Sister Red Lotus's skills. Husband, why don't you come up with a name for it first?"
"Dream Cultivator plus Virtue Cultivator," Li Banfeng pondered a moment. "Let's call it Mengde!"
The gramophone praised, "Husband picked such a wonderful name!"
The Tang dao snorted, "So my Lord knows how to give nice names after all."
Li Banfeng glared at the Tang dao. "Is the name Erdao not nice?"
As they spoke, the Dream Actor Flower standing beside the bed began singing again.
Li Banfeng asked in surprise, "Didn't my wife devour her soul? How is she still so obsessed with singing?"
Clang-clang-clang~
"Oh my, my husband! Her soul is gone, but her spirituality remains. This wench loves to sing purely out of nature."
Li Banfeng mused, "Then refining an artifact doesn't seem to have much to do with whether her soul gets eaten or not."
"Oh my, husband, you have that wrong! If this wench's soul isn't eaten, she won't forget her identity. The artifact would be exceedingly difficult to forge, and even once forged, hard to control..."
The wife offered an explanation.
Put plainly, eating the soul was meant to wipe out the subject's self-awareness.
Taking the Dream Actor Flower as an example, if she retained her self-awareness, she could never be redefined.
She would never become a loyal subject and stalwart general like the Tang dao, nor an intimate confidante like the gourd.
She would remain that songstress—the songstress who would rather die than leave the stage. Under such circumstances, even if an artifact were successfully refined, myriad thorny problems would persist.
Preserving only spirituality was the best way to retain an artifact's combat capability while ensuring obedience. Of course, spirituality came with its own problems; as the wife had said before, all artifacts possessed a temperament and quirks of their own—a necessary price to pay.
The bronze lotus was still working on the insect chief's head and could not refine the artifact just yet. The gramophone had no choice but to endure the Dream Actor Flower's singing.
"This wench loves singing far too much—her mouth can't be plugged no matter what! It would be one thing if she sang well, but that racket sounds like tearing foot-wipes! How dare she flaunt it!"
The Dream Actor Flower stopped singing, glared straight at the gramophone, and snapped back, "Do you sing any better? If you've got what it takes, sing a verse!"
The Hanxue Pendulum raged, "How dare you!"
The gramophone, however, was not angered. She exhaled a cloud of steam that enveloped the Dream Actor Flower and sang to a slow beat:
"You refuse to admit you can't sing a lick;
Listen close today while I teach you the trick:
Winter arrives with snow blinding and white,
Warm clothes are stitched for my sweetheart's delight;
Ahead in the chamber a fair maiden bides,
To bring my dear husband another sweet bride!"
"Wait a second!" Li Banfeng jumped to his feet immediately. "Wife, wait, I'm not ready yet! Hold on, slow down!"
"Song of the Four Seasons"!
"Song of the Four Seasons" was never sung lightly.
This meant a breakthrough.
In truth, Li Banfeng had anticipated this. His wife had consumed so many good things lately and seemed in peak condition; leading him into the fourth tier was only natural.
It was just that the process caught Li Banfeng completely off guard. A plume of steam swept forth and sucked him straight into the horn.
Fifteen minutes later, Li Banfeng broke free from the horn, his hair, beard, and eyelashes all permed into voluminous waves.
The gramophone glanced at the Dream Actor Flower. "Learned it yet?"
The Dream Actor Flower dared not utter a sound.
She was thoroughly humbled.
Before the gramophone, her vocal technique was truly not fit to be shown.
Wiping the moisture from his face, Li Banfeng sat down beside his wife and asked, "Wife, never mind her for now. Let's talk about this fourth-tier technique."
Clang-clang-clang~
"Oh my, husband, the fourth-tier Dwelling Cultivator technique is called Golden House Conceals a Beauty. It's a technique shared by all Dwelling Cultivators under heaven. This technique is difficult—extraordinarily difficult. You'll need to dedicate time and effort to study it carefully."
Golden House Conceals a Beauty.
Li Banfeng smiled. Slipping his hand under the stylus bracket, he gave it a thorough tickle. "Wife, Golden House Conceals a Beauty—isn't the beauty I've hidden away you?"
"Oh my! Oh my! Husband, don't scratch my armpit! Your humble servant is ticklish, I can't take it! I can't... I'm out of breath from laughing! Husband, have mercy on your humble servant!"
"Laugh, go on and laugh! Breaking through without even giving me a heads-up! When I oil you up in a bit, let's see if you can still laugh!"
"No machine oil for you, and no scratching my armpit either! Your humble servant knows her fault, isn't that enough? Husband, stop playing around, your humble servant really can't catch her breath..."
Puff, puff—the room filled with billowing steam.
The gourd looked on with deep envy, while the other artifacts dared not make a sound. The Red Lotus offered them two drops of crystal-clear dew.
After calming down, the gramophone said, "Your humble servant will first impart the principles of the technique to you. Could you fetch some clay, husband? If there's no clay, flour will do."
Flour would definitely be hard to come by.
Li Banfeng recalled coming across some clay along the way.
He headed out, and in less than a quarter of an hour, returned with a bag of clay slung over his shoulder. Such was the speed of a Journey Cultivator.
The wife brought out an iron basin, added water, and had Li Banfeng knead the clay.
"Oh my, husband, use this clay to sculpt a beauty. The more beautiful, the better."
A beauty?
What kind of beauty could be sculpted from clay?
It couldn't just be about the form; it was about the artistic conception.
Li Banfeng pondered carefully, grabbed a lump of clay, and rolled a large sphere.
He grabbed another lump of clay and rolled a small sphere.
He grabbed yet another lump and rolled out four long strips.
The small sphere served as the head.
The large sphere served as the body.
The four strips served as the arms and legs.
The clay figure was complete.
The gramophone stared at it for a moment, then asked, "Husband, you call this a beauty?"
Li Banfeng retrieved some rouge and painted red lips onto the clay figure.
"Wife, is it beautiful enough now?"
The wife sighed softly. "Husband, you truly are never serious. The Golden House Conceals a Beauty technique demands exquisite loveliness. The crafted figure must be a peerless beauty—the prettier her appearance, the stronger her combat power."
Li Banfeng stared at the clay figure in his hand. "This thing actually has combat power?"
The gramophone nodded. "Once a Dwelling Cultivator steps out the door, they hold no advantage over other pathways. They rely entirely on their fourth-tier technique to bolster combat capability. Husband, focus your mind and grant this clay figure a drop of blood."
Li Banfeng brought an awl, pricked his fingertip, and dripped a bead of blood onto the clay figure.
"Husband, focus your mind and watch this clay figure!"
Li Banfeng stared at the clay figure for nearly ten minutes, and the clay figure slowly stood up.
Success! It moved!
Li Banfeng was pleasantly surprised.
The gramophone praised, "Husband has remarkable talent. Take this clay figure outside to test its capabilities."
Li Banfeng stepped out the front door with the clay figure and spotted a rabbit foraging in the wilderness.
Li Banfeng commanded the clay figure, "Go catch that rabbit and bring it back to me."
For a first test of the technique, he couldn't pick an overly difficult target. The important thing was to build confidence and establish rapport with the clay figure.
Having received the order, the clay figure stepped forward step by step, setting off in pursuit of the rabbit.
Its speed seemed a bit on the slow side. Catching up to the rabbit was out of the question, but there was still hope of catching that earthworm right ahead.
Chasing an earthworm was fine too!
It encountered a rock along the way.
The clay figure tripped.
The clay figure lost its head.
And then...
There was no 'and then.'
Half an hour passed, and the clay figure never moved again.
Li Banfeng picked up the clay figure and carried it back into the Portable Abode. "Wife, this thing isn't very useful."
Hisss!
"Oh my, husband, didn't your humble servant say so? You must craft a lovely maiden. The more beautiful she is, the stronger her combat power."
"That's clay sculpting, how would I know how to do that..." Li Banfeng scratched his head, feeling stumped.
"Clay sculpting is indeed rather tricky. Husband, how are your painting skills?"
"Painting skills? Just drawing pictures? I can manage that."
"Husband, drawing a portrait of a beauty works too, but the combat power of a painted beauty will suffer a bit of a discount."
Even with a discount, it would be far better than this useless clay figure.
Li Banfeng brought paper and brush and painstakingly drew a beauty.
First, a small circle for the head.
Then a large circle for the body.
Then four stick lines for the limbs.
After inspecting it, the wife asked once more, "Husband, you call this a beauty? I can't even tell it's a woman."
Can't tell it's a woman?
No way, right?
Li Banfeng added a few strands of long hair to the "beauty."
The wife scrutinized it for a moment, and all three horns puffed smoke in unison. "Oh heavens, you madman! Go find any three-year-old toddler, and they'd draw better than this!"
...
At dawn, the House Centipede Woman's mother walked out of the plot, looking utterly shattered.
Without sparing a glance for the wild boar beside the plot, she walked straight into the depths of the forest.
The House Centipede Woman was waiting halfway down the path, glaring viciously at her mother.
The House Centipede Mother kept her head low and said, "Daughter, listen to your mother. It's not what you think. Mother isn't that kind of person! Mother fell under his technique..."
"Shut up! Don't give me your bullshit!" the House Centipede Woman barked furiously. "Think about how many tricks you played with him! Look at yourself—where will you put this old face of yours from now on? How are the two of us supposed to go on living in this territory?!"
"Let's move," the House Centipede Mother sobbed. "There's no staying here any longer."
The House Centipede mother and daughter left.
Ma the Fifth supported his body with difficulty, looked at the wild boar outside the plot, and shouted, "Are you coming or not?!"
The wild boar's body shuddered. After a long silence, the look in its eyes shifted.
It turned its head and trotted toward the depths of the forest.
It had let go.
The forest was wonderful. There were deer to eat, sheep to eat, and when it had had its fill of meat, it could graze on some greens.
When full, it could sleep; when awake, it could find a big tree to scratch an itch.
Was such a life not grand?
Cultivation could be taken slowly.
It couldn't go and ruin itself just for this bit of cultivation progress.
...
The wild boar left.
Ma the Fifth exhaled a long breath.
The talent Feng Daiku gave him worked only on women.
This wild boar was male.
If it had actually charged inside, Ma the Fifth could only have joined forces with Xiao Genzi to fight for their lives.
...
Word of the House Centipede mother and daughter had spread across a hundred li.
No anomaly wanted to come anywhere near this plot.
Hovering above the plot and looking down at Ma the Fifth, the local spirit gnashed its teeth: "This one is even more shameless! Even more shameless than the last one!"
A male eagle flew up beside the local spirit and whispered, "A roaming anomaly has arrived in the territory."
The local spirit frowned slightly. "What kind of anomaly?"
"A bagworm moth."
The local spirit smiled. "Lure her over."
A roaming anomaly has come, and she came of her own accord—you can't blame me for giving you a hard time!
Young man, if you value your life, you'd best pack up and scram!
P.S. Madam Bagworm Moth is not an individual creature, but a category of anomaly, as mentioned earlier and detailed further later.
For Ma the Fifth, the greatest trial was about to begin.
Chapter 176