Banfeng Isn't Crazy

"Banfeng, save me!" The cry for help reached his ears, and Li Banfeng bolted upright from a deep sleep. Who had spoken? The other bunks were completely empty; only He Jiaqing was crouched on the floor, packing his bags. He Jiaqing looked up. "You awake?" Li Banfeng stared at him. "Were you the one who just told me to save you?" He Jiaqing frowned. "Did you sleep yourself stupid? Come give me a hand with packing, I'm running out of time." He Jiaqing was leaving on tonight's train. Through four years of college, he had been Li Banfeng's best friend. Li Banfeng checked his phone. It was already three-thirty in the afternoon. After a meal together, it would be time to see him off at the station. Li Banfeng hopped down from his bunk and helped He Jiaqing sort through a clutter of miscellaneous items. "Keep the toothpaste?" "Keep it!" Li Banfeng tossed the tube with pinpoint accuracy right into He Jiaqing's suitcase. "Meal card?" "It's yours." Li Banfeng tossed the meal card with pinpoint accuracy straight into his own drawer. Within a five-meter radius, Li Banfeng never missed a throw. "Diploma?" "Don't want it." Li Banfeng tossed the diploma with pinpoint accuracy into the wastebasket three meters away. What He Jiaqing appreciated about Li Banfeng was precisely this easy nonchalance. He didn't even ask why He Jiaqing didn't want his diploma; he just casually threw it away. If you want it, keep it; if you don't, toss it. It was that simple. Li Banfeng never overcomplicated easy things. In four years of college, He Jiaqing had only one friend, Li Banfeng, because he admired his temperament. Li Banfeng likewise had only He Jiaqing as a friend, because Li Banfeng had a history of mental illness, and anyone who knew about it steered well clear of him. Li Banfeng opened a cardboard box filled with envelopes, each containing dozens of photographs. He Jiaqing loved photography and had a penchant for film cameras. Every time he finished shooting, he rented a darkroom to develop and print the pictures himself. Four years of college had yielded an entire boxful of them. "Do you still want these photos?" He Jiaqing hesitated. "Pick out a few good ones to bring. Toss whichever ones turned out bad." Li Banfeng picked out a few envelopes and handed them over. "These are all good." Without checking, He Jiaqing packed them into his suitcase. Li Banfeng picked out a few more envelopes. "These are photos of your girlfriend. They're all ruined. Better throw them away." He Jiaqing was taken aback. "Ruined? How?" Li Banfeng nodded. "She isn't wearing any clothes in them. They must have turned out bad." He Jiaqing snatched the photos away and shoved them into his suitcase. *** Outside the campus gate, at a barbecue joint. He Jiaqing poured Li Banfeng a cup of liquor. "Four years of college, and there's something I've always wanted to ask you, but could never bring myself to say." Li Banfeng shook his head. "I don't like men." He Jiaqing choked on the liquor, coughing for a moment before managing, "That's not what I'm asking! I mean your name. Why are you called Banfeng? Does it have some special meaning?" Hearing the question, Li Banfeng's brow relaxed and the corners of his mouth turned up into a somewhat stiff smile. Anyone else would have backed away from Li Banfeng at this moment, as this was a sign of his emotional instability. Yet He Jiaqing was unconcerned. Li Banfeng smiled when he was unstable, but he wore the exact same smile when he was in high spirits. Right now, he was in a great mood. With lively interest, he began, "It starts with Old Lady Wu from our welfare home. She was the most educated person there. She took care of seven kids, and she named every one of us. "The seven names were Banshan, Banluan, Banling, Banyai, Bangang, Banyue, and Banfeng. "As you know, among the mountains, the peak—the feng—rises highest. I was the most outstanding of the seven, so Old Lady Wu gave the name Banfeng to me." He Jiaqing pondered this for a moment. "I've met this Old Lady Wu. When you were hospitalized, she came to visit you. She didn't seem to call you Li Banfeng, though. She called you Li Baisha." Li Banfeng nodded. "Because she was always sending me to buy her cigarettes. Back then, she liked smoking Baisha, so she called me Li Baisha. "Before that, she called me Li Hongmei. Even earlier, she called me Li Yingchun. There was a period when life was better and she smoked higher-end cigarettes, so she called me Li Furong." He Jiaqing picked up a skewer of sheep kidneys. "Then why is your surname Li?" "Because the welfare home's gatekeeper was surnamed Li," Li Banfeng answered. He Jiaqing nodded. "He must have been a man of great stature and respect." Li Banfeng shook his head. "He was Old Lady Wu's husband. He loved foreign cigarettes, so he called me Li Camel." At dusk, the two stepped out of the barbecue joint. Li Banfeng crumpled a paper napkin in his hand, wiped his mouth, and tossed it unerringly into a trash can four or five meters away. He Jiaqing marveled, "Never missing within five meters. We've been brothers for four years—how did I never pick up this skill?" Li Banfeng looked at the trash can. "Mindset. The mindset is what counts. As long as your mind is steady..." His gaze shifted into the distance. A woman in her early thirties, wearing a gray skirt suit, walked toward them with a smile. It was Teacher Song. The two quickly offered greetings. Teacher Song was a mathematics instructor in the School of Science. Her chin-length hair framed a fair, rounded face, and behind round-rimmed glasses lay a pair of deep, intellectual eyes. Seeing the two students, her lips curled into a smile, carving two sweet dimples into her cheeks. Those two dimples were the subject of tissue-fueled fantasies for countless boys across the School of Science. She was as radiant as the morning sun! Vibrant with life, offering a sense of warmth and security. As Li Banfeng continued watching Teacher Song's retreating back, He Jiaqing lowered his voice. "She has a walnut-shaped birthmark on her left peach!" Li Banfeng paused. "You've seen it?" He Jiaqing let out a smug, alcohol-laced burp. "Advanced calculus, linear algebra, probability theory—when have you ever seen me fail a class? "And take a look at how Teacher Song looks at me during lectures. Think it's the same as anyone else?" "I didn't pay attention to the looks," Li Banfeng said, his gaze focusing into a solemn stare. "But as for the birthmark you mentioned, I remember it being on the right." "How could it be on the right? You're definitely misremembering..." He Jiaqing froze. "Wait, you've seen it too?" Li Banfeng shook his head emphatically. "I'm a decent man." He Jiaqing protested indignantly, "You've looked at Teacher Song's peach, and you still call yourself a decent man?" Li Banfeng replied in all seriousness, "I looked at it in a thoroughly decent manner, which makes me a decent man!" He Jiaqing felt a pang of disappointment. "How could it be on the right..." He hadn't actually seen Teacher Song's peach; he had heard about the birthmark from his girlfriend, Lu Xiaolan, who had seen it with her own eyes in the locker room. "Did Xiaolan lie to me, or did I remember it wrong?" He Jiaqing looked at Li Banfeng earnestly, genuinely disheartened. "I think she lied to me. She's always lying to me." Chatting as they walked, they arrived outside the female dormitory building and met up with He Jiaqing's girlfriend, Lu Xiaolan. Lu Xiaolan wore her hair in a ponytail, accentuating her delicate features and youthful innocence. Her form-fitting dress clung to her petite, shapely figure, showing off every curve. She was the prettiest girl in the School of Science, a title acknowledged by eighty percent of the school's male students. Even though they were well acquainted, He Jiaqing couldn't resist bragging to Li Banfeng, "Look at my girl. She's like a vintage beauty stepping right off an old calendar poster." A vintage calendar poster? What era was that from? He Jiaqing always had a peculiar fondness for antiquated things. Li Banfeng, however, felt nothing for Lu Xiaolan and didn't care to spare her a second glance. "In all honesty, I still prefer Teacher Song's figure," Li Banfeng remarked earnestly to He Jiaqing. "In all honesty, my girl has plenty of heart too. When it comes to heart, you can't just judge by size; you have to evaluate the complete package..." He Jiaqing looked at Lu Xiaolan stepping out of the building, doing his best to defend his girlfriend. The three of them shared a cab to Yuezhou East Station. Upon arriving at the station, Li Banfeng escorted He Jiaqing to the turnstiles. The moment of parting had come. He Jiaqing told him, "Brother, you had quite a bit to drink. When you get back to the dorm, give me a call." Li Banfeng chuckled. "Why should I call you? Worried I'll get lost?" He Jiaqing shook his head. "Not that. I've had a lot to drink too, and I'll probably fall asleep once I'm on the train. Give me a reminder so I go pee." Li Banfeng couldn't wrap his head around it. "You need me to remind you to take a piss?" He Jiaqing said very solemnly, "What if I wet my pants!" Li Banfeng still found it baffling. "With your girlfriend right there, she'd let you wet your pants?" He Jiaqing shook his head. "She sleeps even harder than I do. Dead to the world like a pig. Even if the train derailed, she wouldn't wake up!" Lu Xiaolan scowled and punched He Jiaqing on the arm. Li Banfeng chided him as well. "You're about to board the train. Why bring up derailments? Bad omen." After chatting a bit longer, the station intercom chimed: "Train 1160 will begin boarding shortly. Passengers, please take all your belongings and proceed to Waiting Room 96." He Jiaqing looked at Li Banfeng. "I'm off." Li Banfeng let out a sniffle, as though about to shed tears. He Jiaqing shook his head. "Stop faking it. It doesn't look convincing at all. You don't know how to cry." Over the past four years of college, Li Banfeng had cried many times. He had used tears to win the counselor's sympathy and dupe the academic affairs office, but He Jiaqing knew Li Banfeng had faked it every single time. He was right. Li Banfeng didn't know how to cry. Li Banfeng also felt that faking tears wasn't right, but as He Jiaqing's best friend, he ought to say a few meaningful words at a time like this. After a long silence, Li Banfeng said simply, "Take good care of yourself." "You take care too." He Jiaqing picked up his suitcase and led Lu Xiaolan through the turnstile. Lu Xiaolan asked offhandedly, "Why did you tell Li Banfeng to call you?" He Jiaqing smirked playfully. "Jealous?" Lu Xiaolan scoffed. "Get lost! Why don't you marry him and live together instead?" He Jiaqing pinched her nose. "Don't be mad. You know he has a mental condition. After drinking so much tonight, I'm just a little worried about him heading back alone." Lu Xiaolan linked her arm through He Jiaqing's and murmured softly, "Actually, Li Banfeng is a decent guy. It's just that his erratic, crazy behavior is pretty scary." He Jiaqing turned completely serious. "Banfeng isn't crazy. I went with him to the psychiatric department at the Third Hospital. Dr. Wang said his condition doesn't count as crazy, and he was discharged after just one week." Lu Xiaolan was amused by his earnestness and followed him toward the ticket gate. He Jiaqing repeated once more, "Banfeng really isn't crazy. Make sure you remember that."