Husband, You Wouldn't Want to Undergo Tribulation Either, Would You?

Five minutes later, feeling thoroughly refreshed, Li Banfeng asked the gramophone, "Wife, take your time and tell me." The gramophone gave a small sob and snapped, "Tell you my foot! You shameless madman! Now that you've had your fun, what else is there for me to tell you?" "Wife, just tell me, won't you?" Li Banfeng stroked the front cabinet door. "Don't touch my belly! I ate way too much today!" "Wife, please, just tell me." Li Banfeng patted the rear cabinet door. "Don't touch my peaches either—they're sore!" The gramophone struck a slow tempo, singing crossly, "Since Husband has dealings with local spirits, do you know that advancing from Tier Nine to Ten requires facing a tribulation?" "That, I know." "Does Husband know that facing tribulation offers but one chance in ten to survive?" "I know that too." "Does Husband know that even if one succeeds, one must go to the Inner States to suffer?" "That, too, I know." "Does Husband want to suffer?" "Naturally not." "Does Husband know there are ways to bypass tribulation?" "I've heard of two methods: one is stealing, and the other is robbery." *Hiss—* The wife scoffed, "Stealing and robbery—your humble servant truly looks down on such things." Li Banfeng nodded. "Wife, do you know another way?" "Ai-ya, Husband! Just now, I heard that old crone say she was willing to grant you her position as a local spirit." Li Banfeng nodded vigorously. "I heard that as well." "Since she offered it, it would be terribly inconsiderate of us to refuse." "Indeed. We can't go breaking an elder's heart." Li Banfeng patted the rear cabinet door. "Don't pat my peaches! Didn't I tell you they're sore?" Softening her tone, the gramophone continued, "Husband, obtaining a local spirit's covenant deed is equivalent to securing their station. With that position, Husband can bypass the tribulation and leap straight from Tier Nine of the ground-crust to the Cloud First Tier. Once up there, you can cultivate according to the methods of the clouds. It is only that this opportunity has arrived rather early; Husband might not be able to shoulder it. Before, your servant didn't dare mention this for fear you would act rashly." "It's not early. The timing is just right." Li Banfeng caressed the horn. "Ai-ya, Husband, it truly is too early. Forcibly seizing a status carries great risk. To leap from Tier Nine to the Cloud First Tier, Husband must possess a formidable physique. That, at least, can be tempered over time. However, Husband has only just reached Tier Six, and you may not be able to hold onto the position of a local spirit. Husband heard it yourself just now: to prolong their lives, local spirits slaughter one another. If another local spirit sets their sights on Husband, how will you handle it?" The wife was entirely correct. Although Li Banfeng had experienced two wars between local spirits, he still lacked the strength to face one head-on. The character of certain local spirits was comparable to the unscrupulous folkways of Lanyang Village; defending a territory would be exceptionally difficult. "Still, such a golden opportunity cannot be passed up." Having come this far, getting Li Banfeng to give up was practically impossible. "The price for this business deal hasn't been negotiated yet. Once I talk things over with Meng Yuchun, there should still be a way. Let's find that old monster's covenant deed first." "Husband, after you find the covenant deed, show it to your humble servant first. There are things inside that require proper handling." Leaving the Portable Abode, Li Banfeng pocketed the key and walked out of the cave, finding Meng Yuchun circling along the rock wall. "Li Seven!" She had finally found him. When Lord Mountain-Uprooter entered Li Banfeng's cave, Meng Yuchun had pursued her immediately. Yet once inside, she found neither Li Seven nor Lord Mountain-Uprooter. She suspected Lord Mountain-Uprooter had used a wall-phasing art to carry Li Seven straight out of the mountain. However, she had laid down boundary after boundary around the cave; reasonably speaking, crossing two more boundaries would have cost Lord Mountain-Uprooter her life. But if Lord Mountain-Uprooter died upon the boundaries, would Li Seven survive? Should she dispel the boundaries first and let them out to preserve Li Seven's life? That would be absurd—if Li Seven had been taken hostage by Lord Mountain-Uprooter, he wouldn't survive either way. Lord Mountain-Uprooter wouldn't recklessly force her way through the boundaries; she was very likely hiding somewhere within the cave. While searching, Meng Yuchun was racked with worry, never expecting Li Banfeng to simply walk out on his own. Surprised and overjoyed, Meng Yuchun asked, "Li Seven, how did you escape? Where is Lord Mountain-Uprooter?" This was difficult to explain, so Li Banfeng chose not to explain at all. "Lord Mountain-Uprooter had business elsewhere, so she left first." "Left?" Meng Yuchun didn't quite understand. Li Banfeng asked, "Are those anomalies under her still alive?" "They're all right here." In a corner of the cave, Meng Yuchun had formed a circle with her boundaries, penning in all the anomalies. Li Banfeng marveled, "This technique is truly useful. What tier of Dwelling Cultivator technique is this?" Meng Yuchun chided, "How could I just tell that to anyone? If you say it counts toward the price of our deal, though, I could tell you." Li Banfeng shook his head. "Let's leave that aside for now. Let's find a place to discuss the price." Meng Yuchun led Li Banfeng to her dwelling. As before, Li Banfeng stood only at the entrance without stepping inside. "The price I'm naming is Lord Mountain-Uprooter's territory. Do you agree?" Meng Yuchun was baffled. "Lord Mountain-Uprooter's territory? Is that something I can decide on? Where is Lord Mountain-Uprooter?" "Never mind where she is. She has already agreed to it." Meng Yuchun looked at Li Seven in astonishment. Even if Dwelling Cultivators were somewhat slow-witted, she caught the implication. "Lord Mountain-Uprooter is dead? By your hand?" Li Banfeng gave a slight nod. "How could that be..." Meng Yuchun was dumbfounded. "You don't believe it?" "I watched you clear land. Your cultivation isn't low, but you are still on the ground-crust. How could you possibly kill Lord Mountain-Uprooter?" Li Banfeng smiled faintly. "I was hiding my true ability back then." Meng Yuchun blinked. "You hid it for three whole days?" Li Banfeng lowered the brim of his hat. "I hid it very well." Meng Yuchun looked dazed, still struggling to believe it. Li Banfeng said, "Whether you believe it or not, Lord Mountain-Uprooter is dead. I want her territory, but I don't want others knowing about this. I want to borrow your name to take over her territory, counting it as the price for this deal. Do you agree?" It took Meng Yuchun a long time to grasp his meaning. "You mean you want to register this territory under my name?" Li Banfeng nodded. Meng Yuchun shook her head repeatedly. "How could that work? How could an ordinary local spirit occupy two territories? What would the other local spirits think?" "The other local spirits used to look for ways to deal with you because you were such an easy target. As for what they think in the future, you won't need to concern yourself. They won't come looking for trouble with you anymore, because they will fear you." "They'll believe I killed Lord Mountain-Uprooter?" "Lord Mountain-Uprooter was the one who tried to kill you first. Driven to a life-and-death struggle, it was only natural for you to kill her. If they don't believe it, they are more than welcome to test their luck against you, but I wager they won't dare take that gamble." Li Banfeng wasn't deceiving Meng Yuchun. This truly was the best way to handle the other local spirits. Lord Mountain-Uprooter came, and Lord Mountain-Uprooter died. If anyone else dared come, they would meet the very same fate! Meng Yuchun deliberated for a long while before sighing. "To be honest, I still can't wrap my head around it, and I'm somewhat afraid to do it. However, I owe you. If not for you today, I would certainly have died at Lord Mountain-Uprooter's hands. One way or another, this life belongs to you. I agree to this." "Good! First, let's go find Lord Mountain-Uprooter's covenant deed." Meng Yuchun brought Li Banfeng before the pack of roaming anomalies. The Opera-Beckoning Matron lay among them, seemingly dead. Li Banfeng observed for a moment, then said to Meng Yuchun, "This one is already dead. Burn him to destroy the corpse and eliminate the traces." The Opera-Beckoning Matron instantly snapped his eyes open, tears welling as he pleaded, "Spare my life, both of you! I didn't mean to offend you! I was tricked by the Devotion-Claiming Elder—he forced me to come!" Li Banfeng had Meng Yuchun open an exit in the boundary and let the Opera-Beckoning Matron out. The Opera-Beckoning Matron clutched his shoulders, trembling all over, portraying the helplessness of a frail woman to perfection. Li Banfeng asked with great earnestness, "How did the Devotion-Claiming Elder trick you?" The Opera-Beckoning Matron wailed, "I encountered him while roaming the wilderness, and unintentionally accepted his devotion. He wanted my body. Unable to match him in strength, I had no choice but to give in. We became lovers for a brief time, and I even bore him a child." Li Banfeng said in astonishment, "You even bore him a child?" Meng Yuchun explained from the side, "It is quite common for anomalies to marry and have offspring." The Opera-Beckoning Matron wept, "I beg you both to show mercy and spare my life—not just for myself, but for my poor, unfortunate child!" At these words, even Meng Yuchun felt her heart soften. The Opera-Beckoning Matron's wails were so poignant that the surrounding anomalies shed tears along with him. Li Banfeng wiped a tear, then kicked the Opera-Beckoning Matron over. "Child my foot! You're a man—how could you give birth to a child?!" "A man?" Meng Yuchun looked at Li Banfeng in shock. "This Opera-whatever Matron is a man?" "It's not just this Opera-Beckoning Matron who is a man—all Opera-Beckoning Matrons are men. Opera-Beckoning Matrons are a special kind of roaming anomaly; they are not only Opera Cultivators, but also cultivate as Joy Cultivators. Under the influence of the newland, all Opera-Beckoning Matrons can only disguise themselves as women. They share a common habit: deceiving women under the guise of being a woman. First, they gain a woman's trust, and then they slip into her bed. Because they are Joy Cultivators, they have endless tricks under the covers; even when the women realize they've been deceived, most of them won't resist." Li Banfeng displayed an erudite side. Even in the newland, those who knew the background of Opera-Beckoning Matrons were few and far between. The anomalies present, including two roaming anomalies, had never even heard the name 'Opera-Beckoning Matron', let alone their habits; they had all assumed he was simply a high-tier Opera Cultivator. Even the Opera-Beckoning Matron himself was shocked that the man before him knew him inside and out. In truth, this knowledge had just been taught by the wife. Meng Yuchun stepped forward and gave the Opera-Beckoning Matron two swift kicks, barking, "Where is Xiaodie?" No longer daring to play pitiful, the Opera-Beckoning Matron scrambled up and answered honestly, "Xiaodie went to a mountain to the southwest to spin a cocoon and pupate. She told me the temperaments and habits of everyone around, but she refused to disclose where you lived. That was why I disguised myself as her, accompanied Hongdie and Huangdie to deliver the wine, and used the opportunity to scout the path." Meng Yuchun wanted to find Xiaodie to demand answers, but Li Banfeng reminded her that there was no rush; there were more pressing matters at hand. Li Banfeng asked the Opera-Beckoning Matron, "Do you know where Lord Mountain-Uprooter lives?" The Opera-Beckoning Matron nodded. "I will take you there." Li Banfeng and Meng Yuchun followed the Opera-Beckoning Matron to Lord Mountain-Uprooter's territory. Arriving beside a sheer cliff, the Opera-Beckoning Matron said, "Honored heroes, Lord Mountain-Uprooter lives inside this cliff." "Where is the entrance?" The Opera-Beckoning Matron shook his head. "This cliff face is the entrance. Lord Mountain-Uprooter's ghost fires can pass in and out of the stone." Li Banfeng asked, "Has no one ever entered Lord Mountain-Uprooter's dwelling?" "I've seen people go in, but I've never seen anyone come out." "Then how did they get in?" "They phased straight through the wall behind Lord Mountain-Uprooter. I don't know what art she used." Li Banfeng stared at the cliff, pondering a method to get inside. There were essentially two ways. The first was Severing Paths to Open Roads, which was the safest method. However, the technique of Severing Paths to Open Roads caused a tremendous commotion. Given Li Banfeng's current cultivation, opening an entrance through such hard rock would also take a very long time. If he truly did that, the fact that he was digging for the covenant deed would be exposed, and trying to conceal it afterward would be far from easy. The other method was Unimpeded Passage—namely, the wall-phasing art. Unimpeded Passage was exceedingly discreet. The key issue was not knowing how thick this wall was. Li Banfeng was at Tier Six cultivation and had received pointers from Grandpa Train, so passing through a wall a dozen meters thick would pose no problem. Yet this was a massive mountain. If its thickness reached several li, Li Banfeng could very well end up trapped inside the rock. Once the art of Unimpeded Passage failed, the consequences would be catastrophic. Was there no other way? There was. P.S.: But it will take some careful discussion.