Little Husband

"As long as it's within the normal stop time, the carriage doors will remain open," the Portable Abode offered as a solution. Li Banfeng was overjoyed. Now that it had railway tracks, the Portable Abode could take Li Banfeng to designated locations according to his wishes. However, there was a major drawback: the key remained outside the Portable Abode and could not travel with it. Once Li Banfeng stepped out and the abode closed its main doors, he wouldn't be able to get back inside. If the doors didn't close, that drawback ceased to exist. Li Banfeng asked the Portable Abode, "How long is a normal stop?" "That depends on whether it's a major station or a minor stop." "How do you tell them apart?" "By the scale of the platform." Li Banfeng stood up. "Then I'll build a major station—the kind where a train can stay parked for a whole day." "Where on earth would you find a station like that? Unless the train breaks down, it won't stop for an entire day." "What's the longest a train can stop, then?" "A major station allows up to an hour. A minor stop allows half an hour at most." That was rather limited, but considering how long regular trains stopped, the Portable Abode's parking time wasn't short at all. Li Banfeng pulled out his map and began planning. "I'll build a major station on my land, one in Lüshui City, one in Yaowanggou, and another in Heishipo. "The soda at Qishuiyao is delicious, so I might as well put a major station there. Haichiling has great food, so that calls for a major station too. Over at Kudaikan, I reckon I won't need an hour, but having a major station there would be fantastic as well..." As Li Banfeng was enthusiastically sketching away, the gramophone chimed in to remind him, "My precious husband, why don't you ask our house how many materials a major station requires? I'm afraid those materials won't be easy to come by." He had nearly overlooked that. "What kind of materials do we need to build a station?" "To build a major station, you need stone," the Portable Abode replied. Li Banfeng chuckled. "Stone is no problem. There's stone everywhere around here. There are several mountains on my territory—quarry whatever you like." "Ordinary stone won't do for my stations. A major station must be built with Heavenly Heart Stones." *Heavenly Heart Stones?* Li Banfeng had never even heard of them. His wife spoke up. "Husband dear, Heavenly Heart Stones are exceedingly expensive." "How expensive?" Li Banfeng sneered dismissively. "Do you take your husband for a pauper?" The Portable Abode replied, "The price of a single Heavenly Heart Stone is equivalent to a pair of railway tracks. To build one major station requires three of them." Li Banfeng fell silent for a moment before clearing his throat. "In such a remote wilderness, building such a massive station feels a bit too ostentatious. Let's talk about minor stops first. Do minor stops need Heavenly Heart Stones too?" "A minor stop can be constructed from soil, but it requires Heavenly Spring Joyous Soil." "Heavenly Spring Joyous Soil..." Li Banfeng rubbed his hands together. "From the sound of that name, it doesn't seem cheap either, does it?" "Cheap or not is beside the point. Do you even have a place to buy it?" the Portable Abode retorted with a trace of mockery. Buy it? Did general stores carry it? Li Banfeng had never heard of the stuff. Where could he possibly purchase any? After a brief silence, his wife spoke up. "This humble servant has seen Heavenly Spring Joyous Soil before. If my husband is fortunate, you might be able to gather some." Li Banfeng's eyes lit up. "Where can I find it?" "This servant used to know a few places, but the Heavenly Spring Joyous Soil there has long since been completely dug up. That soil is a medicinal ingredient. When ingested, it can bolster a man's vigor and enhance a woman's tenderness." "Then wouldn't it be enough for me to just buy it at an apothecary?" "Husband dear, ordinary medicine shops don't carry such rare goods. Even if they did, how much could they possibly have? People take it as medicine by the dram, but we are building a train station. How could a few ounces of dirt be enough? This servant knows of a kind of bug in the newland called the Three Joys Bug. It lives for about a century and mates three times a day, having an extraordinary fondness for that kind of medicinal earth. If we can catch a few Three Joys Bugs in the newland, we might be able to ask them where to find it." "My wife, what does this bug look like?" "Its body is glossy and dark, with very long antennae. They come in varying sizes—the small ones are like fingernails, while the large ones can reach up to three feet..." After she gave a detailed description, Li Banfeng immediately went out to catch bugs. Before long, he brought one back. His wife took a look and said, "Husband, that is a cricket." Li Banfeng went out again and brought back another. "Husband, that is a longhorn beetle." Li Banfeng brought back yet another. "Oh, husband, throw it out quickly! Cockroaches must never be brought into the house!" Trying to track down a bug based solely on a verbal description was simply too difficult. The gramophone said, "The Three Joys Bug isn't rare, but it possesses a degree of spirituality and isn't easily found. Let me teach you how to sing 'Little Husband.' This servant used to sing this tune to lure those bugs out, and it never failed. Why don't you give it a try, husband?" The strum of a pipa rang out, and his wife sang a lilting melody: *"The sun climbs upon the blossoming boughs,* *Before the mirror she paints her brows.* *Pining for her love with heart ablaze,* *Yet cursing his cold and faithless ways.* *When my beloved comes home to stay,* *I'll bar the doors and hold him fast.* *Untie his silk robes, cast care away,* *Loosen his sash until night is past.* *Crimson lips pressed against his chest,* *My heart wants only my little husband..."* Small wonder she said this tune never failed. Never mind the Three Joys Bug—Li Banfeng was already standing behind the gramophone, clutching his oil can. The gramophone scolded gently, "Oh, husband, business first! Have you learned the tune?" Li Banfeng shook his head. "My dear wife, you're making things impossible for me. Do you really think I could learn that? Even if I did, would it sound pleasing coming from me?" "No matter," the gramophone said. "I will cut a record for you. Find a suitable spot, play it, and catch any bugs that look similar. The Three Joys Bug has limited spirituality, and few in this world can speak to it. Your Perceiving Spiritual Voices technique hasn't reached that level yet. But this servant can converse with them. As long as you bring the right bug back, I can ask..." Li Banfeng waved his hand. "That's far too much trouble. Wife, come outside with me to catch bugs." The gramophone was stunned for a long moment. "Husband, did you just say... you want this servant to go outside?" Li Banfeng knew that dwelling spirits could not leave their dwellings as they pleased. "Wife, don't misunderstand. I'm consulting you. If you'd like to take a walk, the two of us can stroll together. It doesn't matter whether we catch any bugs or not; I just want you to get some fresh air. If you don't wish to go, just pretend I never said it." The gramophone was filled with anticipation. Since entering the Portable Abode, she had never stepped foot outside. Li Banfeng scooped up the gramophone and moved toward the door. "Husband, wait!" she called out. "Do you truly trust this servant?" Taking a dwelling spirit out of the dwelling was tantamount to removing the dwelling's restraints on her. A dwelling spirit could kill its Dwelling Cultivator. And after killing the cultivator, it could slaughter anyone it pleased. At that point, a dwelling spirit was no different from an evil spirit. Li Banfeng chuckled. "Why wouldn't I trust my own wife?" "Still..." The gramophone hesitated. Li Banfeng knew what she was worried about. For a dwelling spirit to leave, it required the dwelling's permission. Li Banfeng said to the Portable Abode, "The two of us are going out for a walk. We'll be back shortly." After a long silence, the Portable Abode spoke: "Just this once. Never again. You must return within two hours, and she is not permitted to take her combat power with her." *Not permitted to take her combat power?* *Such a rule actually exists?* Li Banfeng looked down at his wife. "Precious wife, do you still want to go?" "This servant... wishes to see the outside world." Li Banfeng carried his wife through the door. The moment she crossed the threshold, her combat strength completely vanished, leaving behind only non-combative techniques. She could barely even move on her own. Inhaling the air of the newland, her body shuddered involuntarily. Her three horn bells swayed back and forth in the night, as though greedily drinking in the surrounding scenery. In truth, there was nothing extraordinary to look at—only barren hills. Yet his wife gazed at them intently for a long time. A melody floated through the air as she began singing "Little Husband" once more. Halfway through the tune, a bug the length of an index finger, glossy and dark with long antennae, clung to a tree, quietly listening to the music. The gramophone extended its stylus, and the bug obediently settled onto the tone arm. His wife used the Perceiving Spiritual Voices technique to exchange a few words with it. "Oh, husband, this bug doesn't know much. Twenty li to the east, there's a canyon where a bug over sixty years old lives. It should know a thing or two. Let's go take a look." Li Banfeng held his wife and hurried east. The gramophone sang with a touch of bashfulness, "This servant's body is rather heavy. It truly is hard work for you, husband." Li Banfeng shook his head. "How could holding my own wife ever be hard work? My pace is a bit fast, though—are you feeling jolted?" "This servant would gladly be cradled in your arms for a lifetime of jolts." Amidst the hazy mist, Li Banfeng sprinted with the gramophone in his arms. Fearing he would exhaust himself, she tried to persuade him to put her back inside the Portable Abode. "Husband, if this servant returns to the house, and the house travels with you, wouldn't that be the same as me coming along?" If they went back now, getting out again would be difficult. Yet she was already content, leaning close to Li Banfeng's ear and whispering, "Husband dear, taking one look outside is plenty. There will be plenty of chances in the future." Today, the Portable Abode had agreed only because it was in a good mood over the matter of the station. Whether there would ever be another chance was hard to say. "No way!" Li Banfeng grinned. "My precious wife, it isn't often you get to come out. You're going to take a proper stroll with your husband." The night wind was bone-chilling. The gramophone rested its horn on Li Banfeng's shoulder, softly puffing out warm steam. Too close, and she feared scalding her husband; too far, and she feared letting him catch a chill. As she carefully adjusted her distance, Li Banfeng playfully patted her peaches, stroked her back, and tickled her underarms, making the gramophone laugh so hard she nearly gasped for breath. Sprinting all the way to a mountain stream, Li Banfeng set his wife down. She wiped the sweat from his brow and once again sang "Little Husband." This time, after only two lines, a bug nearly three feet long burrowed up from the dirt and came to a stop beside her. This was an aged Three Joys Bug. Once the song concluded, his wife spoke with it for a moment before turning to Li Banfeng. "It knows where Heavenly Spring Joyous Soil can be found, over eighty li from here. As long as this servant sings two more songs for it, it will lead us there." Li Banfeng gave a slight nod. While his wife sang, he slipped back into the Portable Abode, changed into coarse cloth clothes, put on a pointed bamboo hat, and disguised himself as a newland hunter. The Portable Abode was growing impatient. "It's about time you brought that wench back!" Li Banfeng smiled. "Don't rush. The two hours aren't up yet." His wife sang two more tunes. The Three Joys Bug was thoroughly pleased and led Li Banfeng and the gramophone toward the southeast. After traveling over ten li, they reached the boundary of Li Banfeng's territory. The Three Joys Bug moved slowly, and considerable time had already elapsed. The gramophone said, "Husband, time is almost up. Take this servant home. Let's not anger the house. Besides, once we enter someone else's territory, it's best that this servant doesn't show her face." Li Banfeng carried his wife back into the Portable Abode, then followed the Three Joys Bug across the boundary of his land. After another ten-odd li, they arrived beside a small brook. A man with a turban wrapped around his head was leading a single-humped camel. He shouted toward Li Banfeng, "Passing brother, come have a look! I've just brought in a batch of fine goods—everything sold at cost, pick whatever you like!" A peddler? He truly was a peddler, though not the one Li Banfeng was familiar with. These peddlers operated exclusively in the newland, selling daily necessities to homesteaders and hunters. They were known as newland traveling merchants. The call sounded somewhat pleasant to the ear. Li Banfeng stepped forward and bought a pearl hairpin for his wife, two hair ties for Hong Ying, and a rag for the bronze lotus. In the newland, supplies were extremely scarce, and prices were far higher than in the proper land. Li Banfeng had only bought them out of sentiment to patronize the man's business, without purchasing much. After paying, Li Banfeng continued following the Three Joys Bug in search of the Heavenly Spring Joyous Soil. After walking for two li, Li Banfeng crouched down to tie his shoelace and tossed two silver dollars onto the ground. Once Li Banfeng had walked some distance away, the traveling merchant caught up with his camel and spotted the silver dollars on the path. This was a warning from Li Banfeng, advising him to take the gain and quit while he was ahead, rather than continuing to trail behind. The traveling merchant paused for a moment, but the camel beside him urged, "What are you standing around for? Follow him! Keep moving! When the timing looks right, take his life." The traveling merchant nodded, patted the cargo rack on the camel's back, and checked the placement of his weapons. Wearing a murderous expression, he continued trailing Li Banfeng. Before they had gone far, Li Banfeng's figure abruptly vanished. The merchant failed to notice entirely. By the time he realized it, his body swelled in an instant and violently burst into a shower of flesh and blood. Li Banfeng did not continue on his way. He stood about a dozen meters off, looking toward the single-humped camel that had accompanied the merchant. The camel was looking at Li Banfeng as well, its tone calm. "Friend, impressive moves. Might I ask what brings you to this place?" Li Banfeng's tone was equally flat. "I haven't asked who you are yet." As they spoke, the Three Joys Bug had already scurried far into the distance. The single-humped camel snorted and said to Li Banfeng, "I only carry one hump on my back. Some folks like to call me Old Solo-Back, while others call me Bei Wushuang."