Now This Is a Useful Hong Ying!

A slender woman stepped out of the muskmelon. A searing fiery glow flickered ceaselessly within the projector's lens. "Her long hair is bound, with only a few loose strands swaying back and forth against her lean cheek in the cold wind... "No, not lean—chiseled! From forehead to cheekbone, from cheeks to jaw, the contours of her face are strikingly sharp! "Slender sword-brows stand guard over deep-set eyes; dark pupils clearly reflect my visage, while slightly upturned corners pierce right through my heart! "A straight, prominent nose carries a dashing spirit that even men would envy. Her tightly pressed lips appear slightly pale, as if robbed of their color by the chill wind... "No, it cannot be the wind; it is a coldness stemming from deep within her heart! That coldness lingers not merely upon her lips, but permeates her strong, magnificent body! "From the tension in her shoulders to the tenacity in her waist, down to the tautness below, though lacking the rounded softness expected of a woman, those fierce lines are breathtakingly moving. She is the very incarnation of art!" *Smack!* The glove slapped the projector hard. "Look at you, absolutely pathetic!" the glove snapped at the projector. "The moment you see a pretty woman, you spout one flowery line after another! All those pretty words, yet isn't your mind still stuck in the gutter?!" The projector cried out in haste, "There is no filth in my heart! My heart holds only pure devotion to art! Beautiful lady, please first shed this plain white garment of yours, so that we may be frank and naked with each other—" *Smack!* The glove knocked the projector flat with another slap, then turned to Li Banfeng. "Master, this shadow-play machine's mouth is full of pretentious nonsense—not a single word from the heart! If you want the truth, you have to talk to her conscience! Don't be fooled by how pretty this woman is—does being pretty mean she has a conscience? When dealing with a woman who has no conscience, the prettier she is, the worse Master gets screwed over! Let me go check for Master first and see just how much her conscience weighs!" Just as the glove was about to charge forward, the Tang dao moved first, blocking its path. "With such a handsome woman, you dare make a move first? Do you still have my Lord in your heart?" "I'm checking her conscience..." "Whether conscience or peaches, front door or back door, it all belongs to our Lord! And after the Lord, it ought to be me! Get to the back of the line!" The glove retorted furiously, "You say back and I go back? Who the hell do you think you are to lecture me? Master hasn't even spoken!" The glove and the Tang dao began scuffling. Today, the Tang dao showed extraordinary strength, as if truly fighting for real. "You're actually slashing for real?!" The glove grew furious. "Master, Erdao is hacking at me over a melon-person! Are you going to manage this or not?!" The glove looked at Li Banfeng, only to find him eating the muskmelon. The melon was very sweet, but also very astringent—so astringent that it made Li Banfeng break into a cold sweat, leaving him smelling of the unique fragrance of the fruit. Li Banfeng studied the melon version of Hong Ying and nodded. "We finally grew a useful one this time!" The glove swallowed hard. "Are we going to use her the moment we get back?" The projector said excitedly, "I am willing to document this magnificent process!" The Tang dao said, "This general believes that in matters like this, such vile creatures should not be allowed to watch from the sidelines." Li Banfeng said simply, "Let's go!" Catching the scent of the melon on Li Banfeng, the melon Hong Ying followed him into the Portable Abode. The old teapot brewing tea suddenly had its lid fly off, spilling tea everywhere. "You old fart, what's all the racket?" The liquor gourd had just been drifting off to sleep when the teapot woke her. She looked toward the doorway, stared at the melon Hong Ying for a moment, and could not help but sigh in admiration. "To think such a beautiful woman exists in this world." The clock pendulum stood entranced; Mengde was equally dazed. Qiansi, still recuperating beside the gramophone, could not resist sitting up to take a look. The Judge's Brush wanted very much to see, but was too lazy to open its eyes. After staring for a long time, everyone turned their gaze toward the real Hong Ying, who was currently grooming herself. Hong Ying held a comb. The hair in her hand had already been torn out, yet she kept combing relentlessly. The gramophone asked, "You wretch, not going to take a look?" "I can't see..." Hong Ying lowered her head and asked timidly, "Does she... look like me?" The gramophone stared at the melon woman for a moment. "I don't think so." From distant Room Nine, Red Lotus's voice drifted over. "I think she looks quite like you." Li Banfeng sensed Red Lotus was speaking, but still could not make out the words clearly. "Husband, this Hong Ying seems to lack a bit of spirit." "Wife is right. Without spirit, she's still not useful!" Li Banfeng cut his finger, dripped a drop of blood onto the melon woman, and activated Golden House Conceals a Beauty. A touch of rosiness bloomed across her pale-greenish skin; in an instant, the melon Hong Ying gained the vital texture of life. The projector could not help but cry out, "Art! This is the art I have painstakingly pursued!" "Quit your useless nonsense!" The glove spat at the projector, then crept around the melon woman, pondering where to strike. A fierce struggle raged within his mind, bringing forth a moment of philosophical contemplation: *Peaches are my desire; conscience is also my desire. If I cannot have both... if only I could grow two hands!* After brief consideration, the glove decided to start with her conscience. Once he grabbed her conscience, Hong Ying would inevitably reach out to cover it, and then he could pluck the peaches from behind. Who said one couldn't have both! Having sorted out his plan, the glove flew right before the melon Hong Ying, only for her to cast a glance at him. With that single glance, an overpowering aura swept over him. The glove went limp on the spot, swiftly darted into Li Banfeng's pocket, and shivered in terror. The gramophone praised, "Now she looks like you! Truly identical!" The melon Hong Ying glanced at the projector. The projector immediately adjusted his focus, temporarily setting aside his pursuit of art. The melon Hong Ying then glanced at the Tang dao. Leaning against the wall, the Tang dao spoke in a calm tone: "This general is merely an ordinary blade." The gramophone chuckled. "Husband, how does she look?" Li Banfeng nodded. "Looks pretty good!" "Darling husband, what's the fun in just looking? Why don't you hurry and try her out?" Li Banfeng waved a hand. "No rush for that." "Your humble servant is in a rush," the gramophone scolded playfully. "Your humble servant just wants to see if this wretched woman is useful." Li Banfeng smiled. "One glance and you can tell she's useful." "Then use her to your heart's content, husband." As she spoke, the gramophone teased the real Hong Ying with a puff of steam. The real Hong Ying felt intensely conflicted. "You're letting Seventh Brother... use her? Then what about me? What am I to you? Zhao Xiaowan, you're doing this intentionally to torture me!" As she spoke, Hong Ying let out a couple of sobs. "How is this torturing you?" The gramophone laughed. "I'm fulfilling your wish. Husband, with such a useful Yingying, if you don't use her now, when will you?" Li Banfeng shook his head. "No rush now. We'll wait until we reach the place." His wife was puzzled. "What place?" "Once we reach Qiu Luoye's territory, we'll have ourselves a big bash!" The gramophone was even more baffled. "Does having a big bash depend on the place?" "Of course! From now on, everything depends on her!" "Everything depends on her? Then what about your humble servant..." Hearing this, the gramophone grew a bit jealous. "Wife, you can't handle this job. From now on, we'll have to rely on her every single day." "Every single day? Surely not? Does husband despise your humble servant now..." The gramophone felt she might have made a terrible mistake. "How could it not be?" Li Banfeng patted the melon Hong Ying. "I plan to build a train station on Qiu Luoye's territory. Look at this lady's frame—she's bound to be a great hand at carrying dirt!" The Portable Abode fell dead silent in an instant. The real Hong Ying asked softly, "You said carrying dirt? Is that appropriate?" "Not appropriate?" Li Banfeng looked at the melon Hong Ying again, as if realizing something. "Just carrying dirt is indeed a bit of a waste of talent. Digging pits and the like shouldn't be an issue either. Yingying, splash a bit more blood and make a few more melons. Right now, we're right when we need extra hands!" *Thump!* Hong Ying slammed her head into the gramophone. "Xiaowan, just devour my soul! I don't want to live anymore! I can't afford to live like this!" The gramophone panicked. "Don't throw a fit! Talk to me calmly!" *Thump! Thump!* Hong Ying kept ramming into the gramophone. "Eat me! Eat me right now, or I'll kill this madman!" The gramophone cried out repeatedly in alarm, "Wretch, stop ramming me with your spearhead! You're going to break my front cabinet!" Everyone stepped forward to hold Hong Ying back, but she was too strong for anyone to restrain. The room descended into total chaos. The Portable Abode laughed heartily: "Bwahahaha! Ah-Qi, I didn't misjudge you! Building a train station is proper business!" "Of course it's proper business!" Li Banfeng could not understand what they were making a fuss about. "What kind of fit are you all throwing?" Leaving the Portable Abode, Li Banfeng immediately set off, heading for Qiu Luoye's territory. *** In Qiu Luoye's territory, the reclaimed plots already totaled over three thousand. Gazing at the continuous Heavenly Light, Qiu Luoye could not suppress the grin spreading across his face. A cluster of ghostly fire drifted before him, and Shui Yongquan spoke hurriedly, "Qiu Daxiang, trouble's brewing." "Don't fucking scare me!" Qiu Luoye waved a hand dismissively. "I'm busy here, got no time for you!" "I'm not scaring you. I got word—people from the Inner States are coming, specifically for this matter of yours!" "Where did you get that word? You still have contacts in the Inner States?" Qiu Luoye glared at him. "Shui Yongquan, are you jealous seeing my business booming, trying to pour cold water on me on purpose?" Shui Yongquan sighed. "Believe it or not, it's up to you. I haven't told Old Seven yet; you'd better tell him yourself. Qiu Daxiang, you guys are playing too wild. The Inner States already know. Tell me, what's the point of you rushing to reclaim land like this? To turn into proper land, you need ten thousand permanent residents on these plots. Where are you going to get ten thousand people? The strokes of the character haven't even begun, yet you take such a massive risk! Back out now, or you won't even have time to cry!" Shui Yongquan departed. Qiu Luoye fell into silence. *** Li Banfeng arrived at Qiu Luoye's territory and saw Qiu Luoye in a daze. He stepped forward and asked, "Brother Qiu, did something happen?" "Old Shui told me the Inner States have their eyes on me because of the land reclamation." Li Banfeng was startled. Shui Yongquan would not talk nonsense regarding such matters; he had not expected the Inner States to discover it so quickly. "What do you plan to do?" Qiu Luoye sighed. "Old Shui has a point. Even if we reclaim all the plots, without ten thousand permanent residents, this place won't turn into proper land." Li Banfeng looked at Qiu Luoye. "Do you want to slow down the land reclamation as well?" "Old Seven, here's what I'm thinking..." Qiu Luoye looked up at the sky, gazing at the continuous Heavenly Light. After a long silence, he stood up and shook off the dead branches and fallen leaves covering him. "Can you go any faster?" Li Banfeng smiled. "I can. But aren't you afraid?" Qiu Luoye gritted his teeth. "They know anyway. If they come, I'll fight them! You just focus on reclaiming land, don't worry about anything else! The ten thousand people can wait for later. Let's carve out the territory first. As long as you don't back down, I'll fight them to the bitter end!"