Miss, Are You Alive?

Hong Ying clearly had no eyes, yet she had written the word "cheap" with pinpoint accuracy. Out of respect for Hong Ying, Li Banfeng didn't even wipe it off. He asked in a soft, gentle voice, "Yingying, I wanted to ask about growing flesh." Hong Ying chuckled. "Coveting this body of flesh of mine? Do you fancy my peaches, or my conscience? That shrew of yours can't grow any, can she? Now you know to be anxious?" Li Banfeng answered honestly, "It really is urgent." "All right. I'll teach you. Call me 'darling wife' once, and I'll teach you." "Easy enough!" Li Banfeng psyched himself up for a long time, straining with all his might, and finally forced a sound from his throat. "Yingying." "I told you to call me darling wife!" "Well... how about, precious Yingying?" "I told you to call me darling wife!" From the main room, the gramophone chimed in, "Precious husband, just call her darling wife once. This humble servant won't be angry." Li Banfeng took a deep breath, staring at Hong Ying for a long while, but never opened his mouth. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Anything else was negotiable, but he had only one darling wife. Hong Ying gritted her teeth in fury. "Fine! I won't torment you. As for how the flesh grows, I can't explain it clearly either. Go ask our old master!" Li Banfeng hurried over to Room Three and said with a beaming smile, "Old master, about this matter of regrowing flesh..." The Portable Abode let out a cold laugh. "Coming empty-handed and expecting to learn a craft? Have you no shame?" Li Banfeng patted his chest and lifted his head high. "I'll definitely make it up to you afterward. I never ask favors for nothing. Old master, whatever you want, just say the word." "Get me two railroad tracks." Li Banfeng's head drooped again. "Old master, you're making things difficult for me. Are railroad tracks something you can just get on a whim?" "Put it on your tab, then. This technique of regrowing flesh isn't something you can learn—it crosses between different pathways. Bring the Red Lotus over. I'll have her think of a way." Did the Red Lotus not cross between pathways? Li Banfeng dashed over to Room Nine and scooped the Red Lotus into his arms. "A-Lian, I've neglected you these past few days." The Red Lotus broke out in beads of dew all over, spraying Li Banfeng right across the face. To show his sincerity, Li Banfeng didn't wipe it off! Letting the dew dry naturally in the wind, he carried the Red Lotus into Room Three. The Portable Abode said to the Red Lotus, "I'll explain the magical mechanics of the technique to you. See if you can devise a pill recipe." No one knew how the two of them communicated, but after ten-odd minutes, the Red Lotus produced two lotus seeds. The first lotus seed burst open, and Li Banfeng received a Profound Accumulation Pill. This had been refined from Guo Jinshi's corpse. This thing again. To say it was useless wouldn't be fair—it truly was a rare treasure. Yet to call it useful was a stretch, as Li Banfeng had no use for it right now. After a moment's thought, Li Banfeng asked, "Could this be used for Big Brother Qiu?" The Red Lotus seemed to murmur something, but Li Banfeng couldn't make it out. The Portable Abode translated, "It's for you. Qiu Luoye has no use for it. She wants you to look at the other lotus seed." Li Banfeng handed the Profound Accumulation Pill to his wife for safekeeping and peeled the second lotus seed. The lotus seed burst open, revealing a pill recipe. Inscribed upon it were one hundred and thirty-two medicinal ingredients, each requiring two jin. "Are you opening an apothecary?" Li Banfeng could barely hold back. The Red Lotus was clearly reluctant to part with the recipe. The Red Lotus folded its petals, seemingly sulking with Li Banfeng. Needing something from her, Li Banfeng couldn't very well lose his temper. He returned to his wife's side to continue asking about the Three Passes. "Precious wife, the first pass is Soul-Departure, and the second is Revival. What is the third?" "The third pass is Territory Guarding. After revival, one must rely on their territory to retrieve their status. The larger the territory and the more familiar they are with it, the faster they can recover their status. Qiu Luoye must rely on Wuqin Township to reclaim his status so that he can stabilize his cultivation and, in turn, anchor his soul. Even the slightest unfamiliarity will cause him to fail this pass. Is he familiar with Wuqin Township?" Li Banfeng fell silent again. Aside from that time he went to kill Qiao Shaofen, Qiu Luoye had never set foot in Wuqin Township. He disliked the atmosphere there. Furthermore, Wuqin Township wasn't very large—a mere three thousand-odd fang, vastly inferior to Qiu Luoye's original domain. Li Banfeng fretted, "Precious wife, these three passes are far too difficult!" The wife sighed. "That's why I said there isn't even a ten percent chance. Husband, the stakes are too high and the odds too low. We should think of another way." There was no better way. Nor was there time to think of one. The Inner States could strike at any moment. Qiu Luoye's life was dangling beneath the blade, liable to be snuffed out in the blink of an eye. Li Banfeng left the Portable Abode and found Qiu Luoye. Qiu Luoye was tipsy and woozy, just about to head home for a nap, when Li Banfeng said, "Big Brother Qiu, I've come up with an idea. Whether it works or not is hard to say, but if you trust me, let's take a gamble. Here's the plan..." Li Banfeng explained the process of passing the three passes to Qiu Luoye. Knowing this matter wasn't easy to grasp logically, he explained every detail in the simplest, most accessible terms possible. Once he finished, Li Banfeng asked, "Big Brother, is there anything you don't understand?" Qiu Luoye rubbed his nose and said, "Isn't it just three passes? Which... which three were they again?" Li Banfeng blinked. "Big Brother, how much did you drink?" Qiu Luoye waved a hand. "Never mind which three passes. Either way, I'll listen to you." "If we want this to work, we'll have to dig out your covenant deed. This is a matter of life and death—you must decide for yourself." Qiu Luoye had no fear of that. "Then dig it out! It's death either way. I trust you, and that's that." Since the decision was made, it was time to prepare. "Big Brother Qiu, head over to Wuqin Township first and walk the grounds until you know every inch. The more familiar, the better." "Old Seventh, give me two days. I'll definitely know Wuqin Township like the back of my hand." "It still takes two days?" "Two days isn't long. I've hardly ever visited before." This wasn't something that could be rushed. He could only hope the Inner States wouldn't make a move during these two days, giving the third pass a glimmer of hope. Li Banfeng went to Ma the Fifth first and handed him the pill recipe. "Help me buy some medicinal herbs." Ma the Fifth was taken aback. "Buying this much? Are you planning to open an herb business?" "I do have that in mind." Returning to the Portable Abode, Li Banfeng said to the old master, "I need to go to Zhengjing Village." "What are you going there for?" "To learn the Soul-Departure mental technique." The Portable Abode was puzzled. Did anyone in Zhengjing Village know a Soul-Departure technique? Still, he asked no further. Li Banfeng pictured Zhengjing Village in his mind, opened the door, and sure enough, stepped out into Zhengjing Village. Leaving the Portable Abode, Li Banfeng didn't enter the village. Instead, he walked toward the depths of the newland at an unhurried pace. After traveling over seventy li, a walled city emerged from the thick fog ahead. Upon entering the city gate, a man walked up from the entrance and barked at Li Banfeng, "Where are you from? Did you pay the gate fee?" "You charge a gate fee now?" Li Banfeng sneered. "Who are you trying to fool? Do you take me for an outsider?" The man froze. "You're not an outsider?" "I'm the boss of the Changsan Shuyu, Tang Changfa." When he had left the City of Fools back then, Sun Tiecheng had given Li Banfeng an estate—the Changsan Shuyu in the city—and left it in Tang Changfa's hands for temporary management. The man sized Li Banfeng up and down. "Nonsense! I know Tang Changfa. He doesn't look like you!" Li Banfeng frowned. "I just swapped my flesh and blood." "Swapped what flesh and blood?" That single phrase made the man feel intensely uncomfortable all over. "Do you truly not know, or are you playing dumb? Do I really have to spell it out?" "Who has the time to listen to your gibberish!" The man turned and walked away. Knowing full well they were dead, yet remaining firmly convinced they were alive—in this regard, only the people of the City of Fools did it best. Every single person here believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were still living. This was the result of Fool Cultivator arts. According to Sun Tiecheng, through Incontrovertible Words, one could achieve this by deceiving oneself. Yet Qiu Luoye was not a Fool Cultivator. How could he deceive himself? How could he speak of the dead as living? The first pass was exceedingly difficult. Relying on Qiu Luoye alone made it impossible; Li Banfeng had to help him. Exactly how to help required thorough study. Studying it alone was pointless—he needed on-site research. Qiu Luoye needed time to familiarize himself with his territory, and this window was the perfect opportunity to visit the City of Fools and master the technique. As for how much he could learn and how effectively he could apply it, that would depend on Li Banfeng's ability, as well as Qiu Luoye's luck. Wandering aimlessly in the City of Fools was itself a perilous endeavor. Li Banfeng needed to find his territory, the Changsan Shuyu, as quickly as possible. Li Banfeng had never visited the Changsan Shuyu before; Sun Tiecheng had only given a general direction back then. He didn't ask for directions. Asking for directions in the City of Fools was tantamount to offering oneself up on a silver platter. Li Banfeng felt his way along the streets on his own. A fortune teller stepped in front of him and said, "Young man, a bloody disaster awaits you!" Li Banfeng drew his sickle and said, "Right on the mark! I came here to take revenge on you!" The fortune teller bolted. Li Banfeng continued forward. A tavern clerk bustled out to greet him. "Honored guest, looking for a room?" Li Banfeng asked, "How much?" "An upper-grade room, eighty a night." Li Banfeng extended a hand. "Hand over the money." The clerk froze for a moment. "You came to stay at my inn, and I have to give you money?" Li Banfeng drew his Tang dao. "I'm not staying at your inn. I'm robbing it." "Take care on your way, honored guest!" The clerk ran off as well. Though Li Banfeng acted fierce and overbearing, the truth was he didn't dare talk with them too much. These people were inferior to Li Banfeng in raw cultivation, but when it came to Fool Cultivator arts, they were all his seniors. Fool Cultivator techniques disregarded tier differences. A few extra words were all it would take to lead Li Banfeng astray. After walking for more than half an hour, Li Banfeng found the Changsan Shuyu. A young woman came out to welcome him. She wore an emerald-green cheongsam patterned with magpies heralding spring. A hairpin bound her long hair behind her head, her forehead framed with gentle waves. Her facial features were remarkably exquisite, though her powder was applied a bit heavily, concealing her true complexion. "Sir, please come inside and take a seat." The woman linked her arm through Li Banfeng's and led him inside the shuyu, pouring him a cup of tea first. Li Banfeng smiled. "Miss, how may I address you?" "This humble servant is named Yanhong." "May I ask what the price is?" "Oh my, honored guest, really now," the woman chided playfully. "To visit a shuyu and ask about prices—doesn't that ruin a scholar's refined mood?" "Pardon my rudeness. How much is the tuition for taking lessons with you?" The woman giggled and sat on Li Banfeng's lap. "Honored guest, this is a Changsan Shuyu. Drinking tea, pouring wine, staying the night—each is three yuan." Li Banfeng took out ten silver dollars and shoved them into her hand. The woman panicked slightly. "Oh my, honored guest, you've given so much! This humble servant won't even know how to serve you." Li Banfeng shook his head. "No need to serve me. You only need to answer a few things: are you a living person, or a dead person?" The woman frowned. "What kind of question is that, honored guest? Of course I'm a living person." "How do you know you're alive?" "I have flesh and blood, and I'm sitting right here breathing. Of course I'm alive." "How did the skin and flesh on your body get glued on?" The woman stood up and glared at Li Banfeng. "Did you come here to cause trouble?" Li Banfeng pulled out another ten silver dollars from his robe. "I just want to ask a few questions." The woman fumed, "So what if you have money? Does having money give you the right to run wild in here?" With her shout, quite a few women inside the shuyu poked their heads out to look. Tang Changfa, who managed the shuyu on Li Banfeng's behalf, walked out brandishing a wooden staff. "Let's see who dares cause trouble here!" Yanhong pointed at Li Banfeng. "It's him!" Tang Changfa stared at Li Banfeng for a moment, then swung his staff and smacked Yanhong right on her peach of a bottom. Rubbing her bottom, her eyes reddening, Yanhong cried, "Why did you hit me? He's the one causing trouble!" Tang Changfa shouted angrily, "This is our shopkeeper! How dare you accuse him of causing trouble? I think your skin is itching for a beating!" With that, Tang Changfa struck her with the staff several more times. Yanhong clutched her bottom, tears welling in her eyes, not daring to utter another sound. Li Banfeng stopped Tang Changfa. "Don't beat the lady. I'm only asking her a few questions." Tang Changfa tossed the staff aside and beamed. "Shopkeeper, she doesn't know anything. If you have questions, just ask me." "Fine. Then I'll ask you: are you alive?" Tang Changfa chuckled. "Yes! Of course I'm alive!" "How do you know you're alive?" "Can a dead person talk to you?" That made a lot of sense! "How was the skin and flesh on your body glued on?" "It's been growing on my bones since I was little!" Tang Changfa's smile never wavered, answering with utter fluency. His mastery was on a completely different level; no matter what was asked, he never lost his cool. This matter had a great deal to do with cultivation. Learning the craft from the person with the highest cultivation offered the best chance of success. Was Tang Changfa the one with the highest cultivation among those present? One couldn't jump to conclusions. Li Banfeng called all the other women down, lined them up in a row, and questioned them one by one. "Miss, how may I address you?" "I'm called Yan Cui'er." "Are you alive?" Yan Cui'er said aggrievedly, "I'm alive." Feeling wronged after just a single question—she was far inferior to Tang Changfa. Her mastery was lacking. Li Banfeng turned to the next one. "Miss, how may I address you?" "I'm called Yan Qing'er." "Are you alive?" Yan Qing'er answered, "Yes." Though her face was expressionless, a hint of sorrow and resentment could be heard in her tone. Her mastery was also inferior to Tang Changfa's. Li Banfeng moved on to the next person. "Big brother, how may I address you?" "I'm called Sun Tiecheng." "Are you alive?" Sun Tiecheng replied, "What the bloody hell are you trying to pull?"