What Sort of Goods Did You Call Him?

He Jiaqing's grandfather, He Caiyuan, suddenly appeared, urging He Jiaqing and Lüshui Beggar to leave the place at once. He had just demonstrated the technique of A Word Worth a Thousand Gold. Frankly speaking, He Jiaqing had never witnessed such formidable Literary Cultivator arts. He felt a sliver of dread, but he did not leave. Lü Huazi was even less inclined to leave. Things had reached this point; how could a few words persuade him to walk away? He Caiyuan sighed. "Oh, people... having no real skill isn't what's frightening. What's frightening is having a little skill and overestimating one's own strength." The moment he spoke, four massive characters—*Overestimating One's Own Strength*—manifested in the night sky. The characters for *Self* and *Not* flew toward Lü Huazi, while the character for *Measure* shot toward He Jiaqing. Critick swiftly shifted his footing, keeping as much distance from Lüshui Beggar as possible. He had heard from Li Banfeng that Lü Huazi had a habit of using people as weapons. Sure enough, Lü Huazi reached behind him to seize Critick, only to grab empty air. He carried no other weapons on him, and even his clothes had been incinerated by his own fever. Snapping a branch from a nearby tree, he smashed apart the character for *Not*. But the structure of the character for *Self* was far more compact. Lü Huazi struck it twice in close succession without managing to shatter it. The character for *Measure* that He Jiaqing faced was even tougher to handle. Its construction was intricate, and its offensive methods were just as complicated: it could elongate its vertical strokes into blades and detach its horizontal strokes to fling as concealed darts. The final character, *Strength*, was still being toyed with in He Caiyuan's hand. With a casual flick of his wrist, he hurled it toward the depths of the woods. "There's another one here who overestimates his strength!" Seeing the character for *Strength* flying straight at him, Li Banfeng quickly raised his Tang dao to parry. *Clang!* The momentum behind *Strength* was immense. It sent the Tang dao flying straight from his grip and hurtled toward Li Banfeng. Li Banfeng dodged with a Half-Step, pivoted, and countered with Treading Ten Thousand Rivers. A spray of pulverized stone struck *Strength*, kicking up plumes of dust. The character suffered slight damage, yet it continued pursuing Li Banfeng. Having clashed with Murong Gui twice before, Li Banfeng had gained some experience fighting written words. Battling a literal word sounded comical, but Li Banfeng dared not slacken in the slightest. He first used Sever the Path to Make Way, causing a stone on the ground to block *Strength*'s advance. *Bang!* The stone was shattered by *Strength*, but Li Banfeng had adjusted his angle. Unleashing Treading Ten Thousand Rivers once more, he finally battered *Strength* into scattered fragments. Outside the woods, Lüshui Beggar shattered the character for *Self* with his tree branch. He Jiaqing stole stroke after stroke in quick succession, dismantling the character for *Measure*. He Caiyuan let out a chuckle. "Still want to fight? An ant trying to shake a tree—how pathetic, how ridiculous." *Ant Shaking a Tree*—another four characters, divided just as before. The two characters for *Ant* entangled Lü Huazi, the character for *Shake* wound around He Jiaqing, and the character for *Tree* plunged deep into the woods to find Li Banfeng. These four characters possessed numerous strokes and could even split apart to attack—especially *Tree*, which could divide into three distinct characters. While the three of them had ways to counter these words, fighting like this was no solution. Dispatching a single character took a tremendous amount of energy, whereas for He Caiyuan, he didn't even need to write them down—a casual word from his mouth was enough. If they dragged this fight out, all three would be exhausted to death. After grappling with the character for *Tree* for a few moments, Li Banfeng brought out an ingenious trick he had prepared earlier. He scattered a seed along with medicinal fluid. The projector caught his drift instantly and threw down a veil of light and shadow to conceal the seed's location. The character for *Tree* split into its three components, converging on Li Banfeng from all sides. Meanwhile, the seed broke through the soil with astonishing speed, sprouting into a head of Chinese cabbage. From within the cabbage emerged a toad, croaking twice. The moment they heard that croak, Chu Shaoqiang and He Caiyuan both jolted in shock. Leaving Chu Shaoqiang behind to battle Lüshui Beggar and He Jiaqing, He Caiyuan dashed straight into the woods. Knowing the willow tree's exact coordinates, He Caiyuan sped along until he spotted a toad squatting deep within the trees. This toad was a bit on the small side, but it looked identical to Ge Junma. In the heat of the moment, there was no time to verify, and He Caiyuan dared not be careless. With the Scrying Cultivator Wang Fuqi dead, communication between the inside and outside had been severed, and he had no idea what state Ge Junma was in. He Caiyuan called out tentatively, "Master Ge?" The toad did not reply. Li Banfeng sprinted around the willow tree. The judge's brush darted out, piercing through one component of *Tree*, then skewering the next. The two characters instantly lost their combat will, drifting slowly downward through midair before dissolving into nothingness. The final component, *Inch*, was lured by Li Banfeng toward the toad, crashing directly into it. *Croak!* The toad's body burst into a mess of ruined pulp. He Caiyuan immediately recalled the *Inch* character. In truth, a careful look would have revealed that although both were green, what had splattered into mush was Chinese cabbage, not a toad. Yet under extreme tension, He Caiyuan still froze for a split second. "You lackey!" Li Banfeng swung the old teapot. Tea splashed onto the ground, and two barriers closed around He Caiyuan. The tea surged upward rapidly, but He Caiyuan remained completely unperturbed. "Open!" he uttered. The barrier the old teapot took such pride in shattered on the spot, and the tea receded at once. Li Banfeng's figure flickered, and he bolted into a dead run, preparing to activate Viewing Flowers on a Galloping Horse. He Caiyuan shouted, "Pursue!" The character for *Pursue* chased relentlessly after Li Banfeng, acting as He Caiyuan's eyes and locking his gaze onto Li Banfeng. This was a cultivator above the clouds; Li Banfeng could not shake He Caiyuan's sight at all. "Kill!" He Caiyuan spoke again. The archaic character for *Kill* sped along right behind *Pursue*, striking Li Banfeng's left shoulder with its weapon-shaped stroke. From here, the battle became simple for He Caiyuan. A few more words would be enough to surround and execute Li Banfeng. At the crucial juncture, Critick rushed up before He Caiyuan and yelled, "Old gentleman, I love you!" He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his chest. Across it was a tattoo—not of words, but a series of swirling lines spiraling outward from within. He Caiyuan clutched his forehead, his footing stumbling slightly. Critick's tattoos were not merely for expressing love; those lines inflicted He Caiyuan with acute vertigo. He Caiyuan called out, "Heal!" The character for *Heal* appeared upon He Caiyuan's brow, and the vertigo vanished in an instant. Li Banfeng unleashed Treading Ten Thousand Rivers repeatedly, shattering the character for *Pursue*, while the judge's brush sparred for two passes before skewering through *Kill*. As *Kill* plummeted, Li Banfeng vanished from He Caiyuan's sight. *Thump!* He Caiyuan's chest shuddered, and his body swayed. Critick popped a pustule, seizing the opening to fling a spray of fluid onto He Caiyuan. Rashes flared across He Caiyuan's skin. Critick was overjoyed; this meant they had seized the initiative in the battle. Li Banfeng appeared behind He Caiyuan. He Caiyuan barked, "Blade!" Over a dozen long sabers stabbed toward Li Banfeng's face. The judge's brush parried furiously. With no room to dodge, Li Banfeng took a gash across his face and several wounds across his body. *Boom!* Braving the blades, Li Banfeng triggered Treading Ten Thousand Rivers. Blood spilled from He Caiyuan's nose and mouth, and he collapsed to the ground. Did they win? A surge of joy washed over Li Banfeng and Critick, only to see He Caiyuan's body burst open, transform into the character for *Clone*, and fade away. Critick froze, baffled by what he was seeing. Li Banfeng figured it out, but he froze all the same. The entity they had exerted every ounce of strength to slay was merely He Caiyuan's clone. Outside the woods, Lüshui Beggar and He Jiaqing were pressing forward aggressively, putting Chu Shaoqiang in a tight spot. But then He Caiyuan's true body manifested and initiated Trace the Ink and Stride the Lines. A vast expanse of characters, erratic and disordered, besieged He Jiaqing and Lüshui Beggar. Leading Chu Shaoqiang through the safe spaces between the words and lines, He Caiyuan stood aside, watching the battle in silence. Chu Shaoqiang asked with concern, "What is Master Ge's condition?" He Caiyuan shook his head. "I did not see Master Ge. There is a madman in the woods who fooled me with an illusion." As he spoke, He Caiyuan waved his hand casually, sending another massive wave of text flying into the forest to besiege Li Banfeng and Critick. He Caiyuan reminded Chu Shaoqiang, "Prepare the implements to open the gate. Do not waste any more time tangling with these few ants." Lüshui Beggar and He Jiaqing battered apart waves of characters, having expended a tremendous amount of energy. Li Banfeng and Critick shattered the text surrounding them as well, both covered in wounds. He Caiyuan fanned his folding fan, letting out a cold sneer. "Still want to fight?" He Jiaqing realized they could fight no longer. The gap between him and his grandfather was too vast. Up to now, He Caiyuan had likely used less than half his strength. Lüshui Beggar was unwilling to concede. Had this been his own territory, and could his combat strength recover quickly, he would have had the confidence to keep fighting He Caiyuan. Yet none of those assumptions held true. Lüshui Beggar shouted toward the woods, "Retreat!" Critick was reluctant too. To him, the grandmaster's condition was still too sound; it would be difficult to send him on his final journey anytime soon. Lüshui Beggar urged, "Hurry!" Critick called back, "Going, going right now! It's just business, after all. Only by staying alive can we finish the deal!" This was a reminder to Li Banfeng: there were no fish to be caught in these muddy waters; this business was over. Lüshui Beggar's figure vanished from sight as he entered the Unnameable Land. He Jiaqing cast a glance toward the woods, and his figure disappeared as well. Critick waited for a moment, wanting to leave together with Li Banfeng. Li Banfeng walked back beneath the willow tree. Critick couldn't understand. "It's just a deal." Li Banfeng didn't answer. He tore off several strips of the adhesive tape Ling Miaoying had given him and bound the wounds across his body. After waiting a moment, Critick sighed, turned, and left. *One day, I will kill everyone in this world with a plague. But if there is one person left alive, I hope it is you.* *Li the Seventh, stay alive.* *** Lüshui Beggar's side had all departed. In the woods, only Li Banfeng remained. Li Banfeng would have to face Chu Shaoqiang and He Caiyuan alone. It sounded like a joke. Li Banfeng stroked his Tang dao. "Lord, we can't beat them." Li Banfeng patted his gloves. "Master, these bastards fight entirely with written words! I've got all this strength and nowhere to use it!" Having verified that all his treasures were at hand, Li Banfeng pulled down the brim of his hat and stood silently beneath the tree. Faintly, he caught a scent—the fragrance of ink. The aroma did not come from any specific direction; Moxiangdian had always carried this scent of ink. When he first arrived, Li Banfeng hadn't been used to it. Now, he found it truly wonderful. The judge's brush said, "Seven, you go. I'll fight." Li Banfeng shook his head. Moxiangdian was of immense importance. Under no circumstances could it be left to them. The judge's brush wanted to carry Li Banfeng and fly out of the compound. Li Banfeng twirled the brush in his hand. "Not leaving. We fight them." *** "See the guest off!" Outside the woods, He Caiyuan sent forth another massive swath of characters. Li Banfeng swung his Tang dao, activating the technique of Benevolent Dwelling Heart. The judge's brush hovered before him, fighting with all its might. The liquor gourd spat flames, the old teapot hurled tea, the sickle wheeled overhead, the pendulum guarded Li Banfeng's chest, and the glove gripped a battle-axe to cover his back. *** Inside the Portable Abode, the wife anxiously asked about the state of the battle. A scent of blood drifted into the room. Her voice trembled. "Old Master, please let me out. I beg of you." The old master sighed. "Back then, Old Train said that Moxiangdian was crucial. Even now, I still don't understand why it matters so much. Perhaps Ah Qi understands?" Hong Ying urged frantically, "Why talk about that now? Let me out to fight them!" The old master fell silent for a long time before speaking slowly: "Hong Ying, prepare for battle." The Portable Abode had broken its rules! It seemed Li Banfeng's situation was dire in the extreme. The gramophone shouted, "Old Master, let me go!" The Portable Abode replied, "You prepare in reserve. Hong Ying takes the vanguard." Hong Ying asked no questions. She swiftly donned the armor Tu Yinghong had given them, bound her hair tightly inside the iron helm, and stood before the entrance of the Portable Abode. The gramophone said, "I've forged a new spear. Take it with you." Hong Ying shook her head. "I am a spear myself. Why would I carry another?" The gramophone snapped in anger, "You dare disobey military orders? Are you going to bash them with your head? Take the spear!" *** Having repelled another vast swarm of characters, Li Banfeng staggered, on the verge of collapsing, when he suddenly felt the telephone on his chest vibrating. He wanted to answer, but there seemed to be no chance. He Caiyuan shouted from outside the woods, "Madman, you still won't leave? What more do you hope to do? Just what do you take yourself for?" "You dog-raised lackey," Li Banfeng wiped the blood from his face and gave a faint smile. "And just what kind of thing are you?" "Li the Seventh?" Chu Shaoqiang recognized Li Banfeng's voice. He Caiyuan laughed. "So you are Li the Seventh. You deserve to die. What happened on Qiu Luoye's side must be tied to you. Tell me the truth, and I will leave you a way out." "The truth?" Li Banfeng chuckled again. "Call your master here. A mere lackey like you thinks he's worthy to hear it?" *Lackey.* Those two words stung sharply. He Caiyuan's face darkened. "Until the day you die, you will never see how ignorant you truly are. You haven't the slightest idea for whom a man should live, or to whom he should be loyal! You will never know what sort of trash you are, how thoroughly insignificant! Death is too good for you!" Using his fan, He Caiyuan wrote out four characters: *Death Cannot Expiate Your Crimes*. These were written, not spoken, nor summoned. As he wrote, He Caiyuan's wrist trembled slightly. Infused within those four characters were both fury and his supreme mastery of the art. The four characters charged into the woods. Wherever they passed, rows of ancient trees instantly disintegrated into ash. Chu Shaoqiang struck right after, sending two treasures flying into the forest alongside the four characters. One treasure was a set of shackles—if Li the Seventh survived, it would lock him down. The other treasure was a wooden casket—if Li the Seventh died, it would encase his corpse directly. Sensing the lethal peril rushing toward him, Li Banfeng prepared to parry with his journey cultivator arts. This wave of assault was distinctly different from the ones before. If he couldn't block it, he would duck back into the Portable Abode first and resume tangling with the two once he emerged. The telephone was still vibrating, but Li Banfeng had no time to answer. Only Luo Zhengnan could call through. Whatever the outcome, it didn't matter; until his resources were utterly spent, Li Banfeng would stall for all he was worth. Under no circumstances would he surrender Moxiangdian to them. Inside the Portable Abode, the door cracked open a sliver. The Portable Abode called out, "Hong Ying, go forth!" Hong Ying shoved the door, but just as she was about to step out, *clatter!* The door slammed shut again. Confused and enraged, Hong Ying roared, "Old bastard, you pinched my hand! What are you doing?" The Portable Abode said, "I changed my mind!" "You damn old fossil!" Hong Ying cursed fiercely. "You go back on your word? What is Seventh Brother supposed to do?" The Portable Abode answered, "Someone has arrived." The gramophone asked anxiously, "Who came?" *Clack-clack-clack-clack!* Four sharp beats of a rattle drum rang out. The four massive characters of *Death Cannot Expiate Your Crimes* were shaken to utter powder. The two treasures vanished on the spot, gone without a trace. Chu Shaoqiang tried to flee, but his feet were rooted to the ground. He Caiyuan shuddered as someone spoke right beside his ear: "He is my brother. What sort of goods did you say he was?" He Caiyuan tried to speak, but could not part his lips. He tried to write, but could not move his hands. Beside his ear, the peddler's voice drifted once more: "For whom do you live? To whom do you pledge your loyalty? Is it this thing?" *Boom!* A massive toad corpse crashed down into the garden, landing right before He Caiyuan.