Adding a Room for My Lord

Even though he harbored a slight dread toward the gramophone, Li Banfeng had always enjoyed high-quality sleep inside the Portable Abode. Waking from his slumber, he lit a candle and clicked open his pocket watch. It was ten o'clock again. Feeling parched, Li Banfeng bent down to fetch some water from beneath the bed, only to find the bucket missing once more. Before going to sleep last night, Li Banfeng had made a special trip to the river to draw a bucket of water, boiled it, let it cool, and placed it right beside the bed. Yet after waking up, it was gone again. Dwelling spirits loved cleanliness; Li Banfeng knew that much. Still, when tidying things up, shouldn't you take my living habits into account? Holding the candle aloft, Li Banfeng searched around for the bucket, but found nothing after looking for quite a while. Losing a bucket wasn't that big of a deal; if worst came to worst, he could just buy another one. However, something else was missing too. The bronze lotus was gone! Veins instantly bulged on Li Banfeng's forehead! Last night, the bronze lotus had refined Rong Jin'an's corpse into two red pills. Li Banfeng had collected the lotus seed with his own hands and personally watched the bronze lotus close its petals in the corner. How could it vanish in the blink of an eye? Did the gramophone stow it away? Where could she have put it? He searched the room several times over, but found no trace of it. Aside from the gramophone, the table and chairs he had brought from the old lady Dwelling Cultivator's room were gone, as were the assorted medicinal herbs taken from the Poison Cultivator Decai's room. "Lady Wife, where did you put the things?" The gramophone didn't answer. Li Banfeng's heart sank as a sinister suspicion crossed his mind. Could there be another possibility—that these things weren't moved by the gramophone? Was it possible that someone had entered the Portable Abode last night? How did they get in? Did they have a key? Could the key I hid outside have been picked up by someone? The moment that thought struck him, cold sweat broke out all over Li Banfeng's body. Go outside and look? No! If someone picked up the key, entered the Portable Abode, took the bronze lotus, and left, why didn't they kill me? They might not have dared to kill me inside the Portable Abode because the gramophone was here. If I went out now, a crowd of people might be lying in wait for me. Yet I can't stay inside the Portable Abode forever either. There is no food or water here; I won't last long. I can't act rashly right now. First, I must determine if someone really entered the Portable Abode. Holding the candlestick, Li Banfeng inspected the entire room thoroughly. Even if the gramophone loved cleanliness and cleaned often, anyone who came in and out would surely leave some trace. Instead of finding any trace, he found something unbelievable. On the wall opposite the room's entrance, Li Banfeng discovered a door. The door was the exact same color as the wall. Only through careful scrutiny could one notice the faint hinges and the hairline seam around it. What lay behind this door? Did it lead to another world? Did some unknown creature live inside? Could it be... another me? Just as Li Banfeng was debating whether to push the door open and look, the gramophone suddenly sounded, startling him into a shiver. Chhh! Chhh! Chhh! "Spring arrives and green fills the sill, A young maiden embroiders mandarin ducks by the sill, Suddenly a heartless cudgel strikes, Tearing the pair of lovers far apart!" This was the *Song of the Four Seasons*. It was very popular in Yaowanggou, and reportedly all across Puluo Province as well. "Why sing this song all of a sudden?" Li Banfeng asked straight out. Chhh! Chhh! Chhh! The gramophone continued singing: "Summer arrives with long willow strands, My lord sleeps in, refusing to stand, Through day and night I strive to build our home, This servant adds a room for my lord to roam." She had changed the lyrics again. Add a room—what did that mean? Li Banfeng muttered to himself, "Does that mean adding a concubine for me?" Chhh—— A long hiss blew out a plume of steam, scalding Li Banfeng until he turned bright red all over. It stung a bit, but he took it as an impromptu steam bath. With an extra door suddenly appearing in the room, "adding a room" obviously didn't mean taking a concubine, but rather adding an extra chamber to the Portable Abode. What kind of room was it? Li Banfeng pushed the door open and peered inside. It was a chamber identical to the original Portable Abode. The dimensions, the layout—everything was identical, only sparsely furnished. Inside stood a water bucket, a table, two chairs, a cloth pouch, and the bronze lotus sitting atop the table. The gramophone had specifically cleared these items away into another room. Li Banfeng's jaw dropped wide, unable to close for a long time. That the gramophone could tidy things up came as no surprise; she had always been quite adept at housework. What truly astonished Li Banfeng was that she could create an extra room in the Portable Abode! The Portable Abode was a sanctuary built by a journey cultivator for himself. Judging from the peddler's original description, that journey cultivator's tier had been exceptionally high. And yet the gramophone was able to further expand this sanctuary. Just what tier was the gramophone at? Amidst his astonishment, Li Banfeng noticed another bizarre thing. The bronze lotus was open, and inside sat a lotus seed. Where had this lotus seed come from? Puzzled, Li Banfeng noticed that the cloth pouch was also open. The pouch contained the medicinal herbs Decai had used to refine poison. Li Banfeng picked up the pouch and inspected it closely; nearly half the herbs were gone. Piecing together the scene before him, Li Banfeng deduced what had transpired last night. By some unknown method, the gramophone had expanded a new room within the Portable Abode. She moved the bucket, the bronze lotus, the table, chairs, and the cloth pouch into this chamber. While placing the pouch, whether deliberately or by accident, some herbs had spilled out. The bronze lotus noticed the herbs and, sensing them, refined the ingredients into pills, essentially following the same process it used for the snake-spot pills. The remaining herbs, lacking sufficient potency, failed to catch the bronze lotus's interest and were cast aside. A reasonable deduction. He wondered what kind of pill the bronze lotus had refined this time. Li Banfeng picked up the lotus seed and placed it in his palm; the bronze lotus snapped shut automatically. Before long, the lotus seed burst open, yielding three green pills. What were these three green pills used for? A foul, bitter stench made Li Banfeng knit his brows. Poison Cultivators dealt strictly in toxic substances, so these three pills were bound to be poisonous as well. Li Banfeng dared not keep them in his bare hand for long, quickly retrieving a coin purse to store them safely away. The leftover herbs had already been vetted and discarded by the bronze lotus. Since it deemed them useless, he might as well throw them out. With an extra room, the Portable Abode had gained more space. In high spirits, Li Banfeng decided to arrange the two rooms. The newly expanded chamber he designated as the outer chamber. The original room he designated as the main chamber. The main chamber shouldn't be too cramped, and the outer chamber shouldn't be too barren. First, Li Banfeng hauled the bathtub into the outer chamber; that thing took up quite a bit of space. Besides the bathtub, what else could he move? That spear—Li Banfeng didn't really know how to use it, so into the outer chamber it went. What else? The feather duster; that didn't belong in the main chamber. Anything else? It seemed... Nothing. The main chamber had felt so crowded before, yet now with an outer chamber, there didn't seem to be that much to rearrange after all... Chhh! The gramophone vented a puff of steam, sounding remarkably like a snort of mockery. Li Banfeng glared. "Are you laughing at me? Laughing at how poor I am?" The gramophone continued singing the *Song of the Four Seasons*: "A single day as husband and wife brings a hundred days of grace, How would this humble servant dare mock my lord's place? With needle and thread, this servant takes great care, To sort every stitch with my lord, fair and square." The lyrics sounded earnest, yet the tune was dripping with ridicule! Li Banfeng gritted his teeth. "Just you wait. Once I buy a whole room of fine furnishings, I'll dazzle that big horn of yours!" Chhh! Chhh! The gramophone scoffed at Li Banfeng twice. Li Banfeng was thoroughly annoyed. Just as he was about to head out the door, the gramophone sang out again: "This servant's devoted heart is deep and long, A tier of cultivation bestowed upon my beau so strong, With all subtle scents caught upon the nose, Golden eyes pierce the veil where yin and yang rose~~" Wait! Li Banfeng walked back to the gramophone. "What did you mean just now by a tier of cultivation? Are you saying I have reached the first tier as a Dwelling Cultivator?" The gramophone did not answer. Li Banfeng pressed on, "A Dwelling Cultivator without a dwelling spirit can never advance in tier. Since you granted me a tier of cultivation, does that mean you are already my dwelling spirit?" The gramophone remained silent. "Are you truly willing to follow me? Following me is actually quite nice, you know. I can earn money and provide for the household. I definitely won't mistreat you." Chhh! The gramophone let out a scoffing hiss. "Don't look down on me. I'm a man worth millions now." Chhh! The gramophone puffed another burst of steam. Laughing at me again? Fine, I won't bicker with her over this. "You mentioned earlier that I've reached the first tier of a Dwelling Cultivator. Does that mean I also gained two skills?" The gramophone said nothing. "'With all subtle scents caught upon the nose'—does that mean my sense of smell will become exceptionally keen? I noticed earlier that I could detect the scent of certain poisons. Now that I have a tier, is my nose even sharper? And what does 'golden eyes pierce the veil where yin and yang rose' mean? Does it mean I have fiery golden eyes? Piercing the veil between yin and yang—does that mean I can see ghosts and spirits? Are these techniques standard for all Dwelling Cultivators, or unique to you? Lady Wife, don't ignore me! Say something! Don't just leave me talking to myself like a lunatic." Chhh-chhh~ The gramophone scoffed twice more. Li Banfeng grew irritated. "Lady Wife, why do you keep laughing at me?" A cloud of steam drifted past, wiping the tabletop mirror clean. What does this mean? Telling me to look in the mirror? Li Banfeng looked into the mirror, and his eyes instantly went wide. His face was caked in heavy makeup! Inky-black eyebrows. Deep violet eye shadow. Pearly-white powder. A dot of crimson on cherry lips. It looked far more seductive and flamboyant than an ordinary woman's makeup! If Li Banfeng went on a live stream with this face, he would gain tens of thousands of followers overnight! Li Banfeng fumed, "Who did this? Lady Wife, was it you?" Chhh-chhh~ Clang-clatter~ The gramophone sang, "Oh my~ Husband wrongs this humble servant! It was done by that wretched Hanxue!" Li Banfeng was stunned. "The Hanxue Pendulum? Why did she do that?" The gramophone delivered her spoken line: "It is simply her nature. Her soul was devoured by me, leaving only a bit of lingering spirituality. That wretched creature was born obsessed with vanity and makeup. Each time you use the pendulum, you must be dolled up by her once!" Li Banfeng looked at the pendulum and asked, "Can this wretched thing still be used?" Chhh-chhh~ The gramophone said in a soft, gentle voice, "Of course she can, of course she can. My dear husband, every dharma treasure under heaven demands a price before it can be used. She merely enjoys dressing you up; such a small price is nothing to fret over." Li Banfeng scratched his head. "What do you mean, 'demands a price before it can be used'?"