Husband, Do I Look Pretty?

"Did you mint this coin yourself?" Li Banfeng picked up a silver dollar and examined it closely for a long time. From its design to its patterns, it was indistinguishable from the silver dollars he knew so well. The Peddler put the silver dollar away into his cargo cabinet. "Ever since the day Puluo Province came into being, every silver dollar has been minted by me. Pushing my cart everywhere isn't just to do business; I also have to know just how many silver dollars every corner of Puluo Province actually needs." Li Banfeng was even more puzzled. "Since you mint the coins yourself, why does Xuehuapu dare to fly your banner and claim that they know how to mint money?" The Peddler chuckled. "Since Puluo Province began, there have been several thousand—if not tens of thousands—who've operated under my banner. They go by all kinds of names: the Peddler Gang, the Hundred Merchants Sect, the Gold and Silver Society, the Sundries Hall... I've personally dismantled over a hundred such factions alone. Their motives differ, and so do their methods. Some chase fame, some chase profit. Some put on a convincing show, while others put on a pathetic farce. "Xuehuapu put on quite a convincing show. I went and explained to people in person, telling them Xuehuapu had nothing to do with me, yet people actually didn't believe me! They claimed it was Xuehuapu's sect rule—that I wasn't allowed to mention Xuehuapu outside the Pu either. "At first, ordinary folk thought Xuehuapu was a business I ran. Later on, quite a few friends fell for Xuehuapu's nonsense too. And later still, plenty of my enemies didn't even come to settle scores with me; they went to test Xuehuapu first! Tell me, when enemies don't even come looking for me for revenge, what kind of mess is that?" Li Banfeng thought for a moment and said, "I think that counts as a good thing." The Peddler nodded repeatedly. "I think it counts as a good thing too!" That was indeed the case. In this recent wave of rumors, Xuehuapu had truly taken the heat for the Peddler. The Peddler grabbed a handful of silver dollars and sighed. "Whether in the Inner States or the Outer States, plenty of people are eyeing the silver dollars. Silver dollars, just like initiation medicine, are the lifeblood of Puluo Province. Those people should have targeted me, but instead they pointed their spears at Xuehuapu. I admit, Xuehuapu took the blade for me, but I still cannot tolerate them. Some of the things those bastards did went beyond what I could stomach. "Six times I've wiped Xuehuapu out, yet after a while, someone would always start Xuehuapu back up again. Xuehuapu's reputation was just too solid. Even after I slaughtered every single person in Xuehuapu, people insisted I was just purging impostors! One way or another, that sign just couldn't be smashed. "Twenty years ago, the current master of Xuehuapu, Mister Kongfang, came to find me. He said he wanted to make a twenty-year wager with me. If I could completely wipe out Xuehuapu within twenty years, he would admit defeat and forfeit his life to me. If I failed to wipe out Xuehuapu within twenty years, I would admit defeat, and he would disband Xuehuapu himself and publicly clarify to the world that I truly had nothing to do with Xuehuapu." Li Banfeng nodded. "That's a good wager. Either way, you come out ahead!" "How could things be that simple?" The Peddler gave a bitter smile. "If I lose, I have to establish Mister Kongfang's pathway for him." "What pathway?" "Deceiver Cultivator." Li Banfeng froze. "Didn't you say that pathway doesn't exist?" The Peddler sighed. "If I agree to his terms, won't that pathway exist then?" "Mister Kongfang is a con artist?" Li Banfeng pondered for a moment. "I've seen him. He has real capability; he was able to suppress Zhang Gunli." "Who says a swindler can't be capable? Mister Kongfang was originally a grandmaster of another sect, but he wanted to create an entirely new pathway and become its founding patriarch. So he set his sights on the nebulous Deceiver pathway. I told you the three core principles of a Deceiver cultivator before, didn't I?" Li Banfeng nodded. "I remember. First, as long as you don't make a move, your cultivation is real. Second, as long as no one sees you make a move, your cultivation is also real. Third, if you are seen, but no one can understand what you did, your cultivation remains real." The Peddler nodded. "Xuehuapu has never minted coins in front of others. Even Xuehuapu's own members don't know how the silver dollars are minted. By never making a move, the cultivation is real. As far as deceit goes, Mister Kongfang played it masterfully." Li Banfeng asked, "Is Mister Kongfang a Merchant Cultivator?" The Peddler shook his head. "You saw him fight Zhang Gunli. Could you really not tell what pathway he belongs to?" As Li Banfeng recalled the details of that day, the Peddler reminded him, "I signed a covenant deed with him; I can't expose his background directly. I cannot tell you his true identity straight out. Just remember this: he is one of the very top figures in Puluo Province. With your current combat strength, you'd best avoid crossing paths with him." "One of the top figures?" "Could he be on par with you?" Li Banfeng had scared Mister Kongfang away directly with the rattle drum; from the looks of it, there was still quite a gap between the two. The Peddler thought it over. "I think I'm a bit stronger than him. In terms of raw combat power alone, he should be roughly on par with a fellow surnamed Sun." Was the Peddler talking about Sun Tiecheng? By bringing up Sun Tiecheng to his face, it seemed he knew Li Banfeng had dealings with the Fool cultivators. Li Banfeng probed, "Is Mister Kongfang's cultivation also beyond above the clouds?" The Peddler shook his head. "Mister Kongfang isn't beyond above the clouds, nor is that friend surnamed Sun. And several other old friends aren't beyond above the clouds either. You will face this matter in the future as well. Which path to take will depend on your own choice." What did that mean? There was a choice in this? A man approached the two of them. He appeared to be in his fifties, dressed like a newland hunter. He unbuttoned his coat and pointed at his belly. A wound over half a foot long stretched across his abdomen, somewhat festered, with pus seeping between the swollen red flesh. The Peddler asked, "Looking to buy a plaster?" The man nodded repeatedly. He had an injury on his throat and could not speak. The Peddler asked again, "Do you have money?" The man fumbled a few silver dollars out of his pocket. Worried it wasn't enough, his hand trembled slightly, his eyes full of pleading. The Peddler took the silver dollars, brought out some medicinal liquor, poured it onto a cotton cloth, and first wiped the man's wound clean. Once the pus was wiped away, the Peddler peeled off two plasters and sealed the wound. "Don't let water touch it for three days. Find a place to rest, and whatever you do, don't let the wound split open again." The man bowed repeatedly to the Peddler and departed full of gratitude. The Peddler weighed the few silver dollars in his hand and sighed. "Win some, lose some, balance the score. Took another loss on this trade." Li Banfeng said, "If you knew you'd take a loss, why insist on making the trade?" The Peddler gave a bitter laugh. "There are plenty of money-losing businesses. I've taken quite a few losses on you too. But this time, I came out ahead with you—you blocked the rumors for me." Li Banfeng shook his head. "Rumors can be blocked, but if things get real, I won't be able to block them. If one day you really meet the Heavenly Person, do you have to fight her?" The Peddler packed the remaining plasters into his cargo cabinet and glanced up at the sky. "That was the agreement back then." "Someone asked me to pass a message to you. She said you two shouldn't fight." The Peddler looked at Li Banfeng. "The one who said that was Honglian, wasn't it?" Li Banfeng nodded slightly. The Peddler smiled. "She's overthinking it. The affection between me and the Heavenly Person is real." Lu Qianjiao bit her lip, her voice trembling slightly. "So the affection between you and anyone else is all fake?" Li Banfeng was startled. When had Lu Qianjiao arrived? The Peddler shook his head. "Qianjiao, between the two of us, even if the seas dry up and the rocks crumble, our affection won't change one bit! How could you talk about real or fake?" Lu Qianjiao looked toward Li Banfeng. "That's what he said to that slut up in heaven too, isn't it?" Li Banfeng paused for a moment. "Did he say that? I wouldn't know!" The Peddler was taken aback. "You two know each other?" Lu Qianjiao nodded. "We do. He came to my home that day and asked if you were there." Li Banfeng looked up. "Sister-in-law, you have to tell the whole story." The Peddler looked at Li Banfeng. "Setting aside whether she told the whole story, how did you know where her home was?" "I... well... I was just walking along and happened to find it..." Li Banfeng had promised Zhao Lanmeng not to expose him. Yet without naming him, this matter was hard to explain. The look in the Peddler's eyes shifted slightly. "Brother, that wasn't your first time going to her home, was it?" "It was my first—" "Of course it wasn't the first time," Lu Qianjiao said with a smile. "Senior Brother Li is wonderful. He comes to visit me all the time when he's free, unlike you, heartless man, turning around and forgetting me completely." Li Banfeng panicked. "Sister-in-law, you two are having a lovers' quarrel; you shouldn't drag me into this!" Lu Qianjiao bit her lip. "Who's a couple with him? As if I can't live without him! Senior Brother Li, from now on, we'll live together!" The moment the words left her mouth, Lu Qianjiao lifted a boulder and hurled it at the Peddler. The boulder burst apart, turning into countless shards of rock that flew in all directions. The Peddler hid behind his cargo cabinet, not daring to fight back. Li Banfeng had no desire to get involved in this mess and turned to leave. Clang! A rock slammed into the back of Li Banfeng's head. He endured it. This place was no good to linger in. Bang! Another rock slammed into the back of Li Banfeng's head. He endured it. He had important things to do. Whoosh! A third rock flew toward the back of Li Banfeng's head. Li Banfeng spun around and caught it. No. He couldn't take it anymore. You two are having a spat, so why the hell am I suffering for it? Holding the stone, Li Banfeng turned and hurled it right back at Lu Qianjiao. Lu Qianjiao was busy venting her fury and was caught off guard; the stone hit her squarely on the forehead. That single stone completely set Lu Qianjiao off. "Fine! Hitting me? I knew you were sent by that slut!" She raised boulders and hurled them at Li Banfeng. Li Banfeng refused to back down either, dodging with Carefree and Unfettered while picking up stones to return fire. After fighting for a while, Li Banfeng truly couldn't beat Lu Qianjiao, so he took to his heels and fled. Lu Qianjiao wiped the bloodstains from her face and stared in astonishment at Li Banfeng's retreating figure. Taking advantage of the moment, the Peddler tried to push his cart and make a run for it too, but Lu Qianjiao yanked him right back. "This man's stone throwing is remarkably accurate. He has the talent for my pathway." The Peddler nodded. "Since he has the talent, we shouldn't let such a promising seedling slip away. Why don't you discuss it with him first and see if he's willing to enter your pathway? If he doesn't agree, I'll slowly persuade him later!" Lu Qianjiao hooked the Peddler's chin. "No rush to talk about his affairs. First, explain yours clearly. Where on earth have you been all this time?" *** Li Banfeng returned to the companion dwelling. In the main room, there wasn't even space to step. The family was still eating, and the room was a complete mess. Li Banfeng had brought back far too many food ingredients, stuffing everyone until they couldn't stop burping. "Why are you all crammed in here? With so many rooms, do you have to crowd together to eat?" Hong Ying wiped her mouth and said, "There's nowhere else to go. Room Seven is occupied by Xiaowan, and all the other rooms were packed full by the Old Master." "Packed full of what?" Li Banfeng pushed open the door to Room Two. The room was full of rickshaw parts. He pushed open the door to Room Three: leather buckets, iron buckets, wooden buckets, spittoons, water vats, bathtubs—every vessel capable of holding water was filled with thick grease. Room Four was also full of grease, packed even fuller than Room Three. Room Five was packed fuller still, leaving no place even to walk. Li Banfeng said, "Old Master, what did you gather so much grease for?" "You call this much?" The Old Master snorted. "This is already what I refined, or else our whole house wouldn't be able to hold it." No wonder Lian Buda felt his face was dry. If the Old Master had been any rougher, he could have peeled a whole layer of skin off his face. Walking all the way to Room Seven, Madam was still interrogating the coachman here. The room was slightly cleaner. The counterfeit coachman was clinging to his last breath. Gramophone asked, "Do you truly not want to speak?" The counterfeit coachman shook his head. "It's not that I won't speak. I truly don't know." Gramophone said to Li Banfeng, "The Inner States sent five spies in total. Three are dead now. Aside from him, there is one more whose identity is currently unknown." Li Banfeng asked the counterfeit coachman, "Was the mission the Inner States gave you to seize Huangtu Bridge while the Peddler was away?" The counterfeit coachman shook his head. "My mission was to lie low in Puluo Province. Previously, I was working as a cook at Qianyue Restaurant, mainly monitoring the He family's movements. A few days ago, I received an imperial decree ordering me to return to the Inner States to be recast, and only then did I become a coachman." "How did you know about matters related to coachmen?" "Zhang Gunli told me." That bane Zhang Gunli—a way had to be found to eliminate him. "Were all those little coachmen birthed from you?" "They split off from my body—souls and flesh alike. They share a connection with me." No wonder not much ash had fallen from the sky; the souls of those coachmen weren't complete to begin with, only counting as parts of the Lead Coachman. "Can every Inner States person breed offspring like you?" The counterfeit coachman shook his head. "I didn't have this ability originally. After being recast, who knows whose flesh and blood was added to me. As long as I focus my mind, I can split off another coachman." "What about their rickshaws? Were they split from yours too?" "Their vehicles split off from mine. Every time I split off another coachman, I have to gather materials like rubber and iron rods for the vehicle. In just about an hour, a new vehicle is birthed. Only with a new vehicle can the newly born coachman move." From this counterfeit coachman, one could see that the technology of the Inner States had advanced considerably. "Before coming to Puluo Province, what was your name? What did you look like?" The counterfeit coachman thought for a long time, then shook his head. "I can't remember... I can't remember anything..." Before the words faded, the coachman's body shuddered violently, his shoulders and chest suddenly broadening. The coachman had experienced a similar episode in the companion dwelling before. Gramophone warned Li Banfeng, "Husband, step back a little, don't let blood splash on you!" Rrrrrip! The counterfeit coachman's clothes tore open. His right shoulder burst from the cloth, swelling continuously until it was nearly as large as a human head, blue veins bulging one after another beneath the skin. Rrrrrip! The skin on his shoulder split like a rag, spraying blood everywhere. A hairy head forced its way out of the shoulder, its blood-streaked face dull and vacant. The Lead Coachman's flesh split inch by inch until an entire body detached from him. Li Banfeng looked at the newly split coachman. He was actually wearing clothes. To be precise, the clothes on his body were part of his skin. The torn clothes on the Lead Coachman squirmed and wrapped around the wounds on his body, greedily drinking his blood and flesh. Until the blood slowly receded, the clothes became whole once more, leaving not a trace of the original tears. The Lead Coachman's collapsed right shoulder slowly regenerated, and his entire body, together with his clothes, fully restored itself. He looked at the newly split coachman on the floor and muttered softly, "Give him a cart, and he'll be alive. He'll be able to fight. As they grow more numerous, I forget more and more things. In truth, they are me, but what I can't remember, they can't remember either. In a few days, I might become just like them, unable to remember anything, only knowing how to fight. Perhaps I was just like them from the start, dropped from someone's body. No wonder I can't remember anything..." Gramophone looked at Li Banfeng and said, "Husband, everything that should be asked has been asked. Whatever he knew, he spoke." Li Banfeng nodded. Gramophone swallowed the Lead Coachman's soul. The flesh and blood was too much; the family truly couldn't eat any more. Li Banfeng carried the red lotus to the main room to clean up the remnants. "The message you asked me to give the Peddler, I delivered it." The red lotus opened her petals and leaves. "Did he reply?" "Yes! He said you're overthinking it. The affection between him and the Heavenly Person is real." The red lotus cleaned up the blood and flesh on the floor and said to Gramophone, "We had an agreement beforehand. The message has been delivered, so I'll make a body for you." Gramophone gave a cold snort. "Just a puppet. Who cares for such a thing?" "Care or not, just wait and see my skill." The red lotus was very confident. Hong Ying rolled her eyes at the red lotus. "Xiaowan, why pay her any mind? Better to let Seventh Brother find some good seeds and grow a body instead." Gramophone laughed. "Why grow one? Like a puppet, it's fake. What use is something fake?" "Very much looking forward to it..." "Who?" Gramophone looked down and saw the projector's lens blinking. "What did you just say?" "Madam, you are very much looking forward to your body. On you, there is the red of anticipation." As he spoke, the projector scurried behind Li Banfeng, afraid of getting beaten. "Have you lost your mind?" Gramophone raised her needle, genuinely tempted to strike him. Li Banfeng cradled the projector and asked, "Anticipation—why is it red? Is it a color like blood?" "Director Seven, the color of anticipation isn't so vivid. It's like a flame—a flame that has just been lit. It looks fragile, yet it doesn't extinguish easily." Li Banfeng stared at Madam for a moment, then turned to ask the projector, "What color is the Tang dao?" The projector shifted direction and aimed his lens at the Tang dao. "On him is the yellow of contentment, like the yellow of a sunset. He is almost asleep in the sunset." "You're wrong," Li Banfeng observed the Tang dao for a moment. "He's already asleep. Now take a look at Glove." Glove tried to dodge the projector's lens. "Why look at me? Boss, I'm not photogenic. Better look at Sister Gourd." The lens still focused on Glove. The projector said, "He has green on him. What does green mean? Are you afraid?" Glove was speechless for a good while, then gave a thumbs-up to the projector. "You've truly become a spirit! Just now, I borrowed a spoonful of vanishing cream from the Peddler, thinking Boss could study it properly. But on second thought, with my meager skills, I definitely couldn't hide it from the Peddler's eyes. I was worried the Peddler might misunderstand our boss, so I was pondering whether I should tell Boss." Glove spat out a porcelain bottle filled to the brim with vanishing cream. "Boss, I did wrong in this matter. Punish me!" Li Banfeng picked up the bottle and smiled. "A little thing like this is nothing. A-Ji, look at me again. What color is on me?" The projector looked for a moment, the firelight behind the lens flickering incessantly. "Can't look anymore, I'm dizzy!" "How did you get dizzy?" "Director Seven, speaking with utmost sincerity yet a bit bluntly, you have many colors on you—as dazzling as that feather duster in the corner." The whole family watched the projector's antics, thinking he had eaten too much and was talking nonsense. Gramophone felt this wasn't ordinary. "Husband, the projector has eaten plenty of good things lately. This lad's cultivation must have grown considerably." Growing cultivation was a good thing, yet the entire household, including the projector himself, had no idea what pathway he belonged to. Li Banfeng placed the projector in his pocket and said to Gramophone, "Time to head to the laboratory today. I'll go get the batteries first, and let A-Ji see what colors are outside." Once outside, the projector's ability declined considerably. "The colors around are too vivid; I can't discern the color shifts." Carrying two sets of batteries, Li Banfeng asked, "Can you see their joy?" The projector observed carefully for a while. "I might not be very familiar with these two young ladies yet." Electricity was connected to the laboratory, and Li Banfeng brought Madam out. Today's experiment was somewhat complicated, keeping them busy from morning until late at night before barely yielding any gains. Li Banfeng first sent Gramophone back to the companion dwelling and brought the batteries home as well. "I'll put the batteries on charge in a moment, then take Madam out for a stroll." Gramophone had just rested at home for a moment when she heard Hong Ying shout from Room Nine, "It looks like you! This looks way too much like you! Xiaowan, come over quick and look!" The red lotus had finished making the puppet. "What's there to look at..." Gramophone was somewhat nervous. When she pushed open the door to Room Nine and looked, she froze in place. The red lotus unfurled her petals and leaves, pushing a woman before Gramophone. "What do you think of my craftsmanship?" The record spun on the turntable, yet the needle seemed to have nowhere to rest. A plume of steam puffed from the horn. Gramophone replied, "Just so-so." The red lotus smiled. "You should still be able to manage possessing it for a short time. Go take this body and stroll through the market with your man." Stroll through the market... Gramophone hadn't intended to speak, but she couldn't help saying, "All right." She possessed the puppet, with only one thought in her mind: Accompany Husband on a walk outside. Keep Husband good company. The red lotus stared at the puppet for a moment, faintly seeing the smile of the girl in Room Nine. *Now that you have a chance to go out, don't you dare forget to bring me along.* *** At Black Rock Slope, Li Banfeng returned to the companion dwelling to fetch the batteries, preparing to charge them, when suddenly a woman walked out of Room Two. Li Banfeng froze for a moment and asked, "Miss, who might you be?" Clang! The Tang dao dropped to the floor. "Marshal..." The projector crawled out of the pocket, his lens flashing incessantly. "Art! This can no longer be described as art! This has transcended the ultimate peak of art!" Glove rubbed his thumb and forefinger together for so long that he literally split his own stitches. "Is this still someone from the mortal world?" Old Tea's tea pushed open the teapot lid. "No good, can't look any longer. One more look and this old life of mine is gone!" Gourd dared not look either, swaying back and forth. "A shame I wasn't born a man! What a pity..." The music box circled around that woman, dancing continuously, yet unable to produce a sound. The pendulum lowered its voice and asked Mengde, "Is this truly our madam?" Mengde replied in a whisper, "I didn't believe it at first either. When I first laid eyes on her, I nearly fell off the wall." The earring hopped onto the woman's palm. "Madam, let me stay on your ear for a while. Just a little while." The Judge's Brush, who had been fast asleep, poked his head out from the newspaper and took a look. He slept no more. Leaning quietly against the wall, he didn't feel tired in the slightest. Li Banfeng studied the woman closely and asked, "Is it my wife?" Zhao Xiaowan smiled sweetly. "Husband, do I look pretty?" Li Banfeng sat down by the edge of the bed and gently stroked the gramophone. "You look very pretty." Zhao Xiaowan sat beside Li Banfeng and gently took his hand. "Husband, this is how I originally looked." "You truly do look very pretty." Li Banfeng turned around and slowly wrapped his arms around the gramophone.