Master of the House!

"Spring arrives, the willow silk grows long, A maiden pining sends off her lover strong, Sleep soundly without care in a sweet dreamland, And take another concubine into your hand." Li Banfeng woke in the gramophone's embrace and sat straight up. He felt none of the weakness usually following an advancement, and even his fatigue was remarkably mild. "Madam, is this because of the Sleep Soundly Without Care technique?" "Dearest Husband, the Sleep Soundly Without Care technique is also known as Master of the House. Once inside your home, you are the master. Every single object in the house, including your very own body, is yours to command and arrange. Of course, the extent to which you can manipulate things depends on your cultivation and how proficient you are with the technique." Li Banfeng carefully considered the core essentials of the art. "So I took mastery over my own body and made it recover swiftly?" "That is the principle. You have only just advanced, husband, and the technique is newly learned. You aren't fully adept with it yet, or else you would have recovered even faster." "What about the glove? Can I cure him now?" "That is hard to say," the gramophone replied, bringing the glove out. "Dispelling curses is among the most difficult of arts. You have never had any experience breaking a curse before, husband, so this will take some real effort." Watching the glove lie motionless across the table, Li Banfeng focused his intent and shouted at it, "Dispel curse! Dispel curse—" The gramophone said, "Darling Husband, that is not how it is done. You must first find the crux of the curse. "The core principle of cursecraft lies in the root of disaster planted when the curse is cast. The methods for planting such banes are bizarre and myriad. It could be a single spoken sentence, a cup of tea, or even a formidable Curse Cultivator merely smiling at someone. Once afflicted, the victim retains that root within their body, producing anomalies. "When the curse is triggered and the victim suffers disaster, the root grows inside their body, producing slight changes. Those changes are the key to breaking the curse." Li Banfeng asked, "What changes happened to the glove?" "That is for you to search out yourself, husband." "How do I search?" "Use your eyes!" Li Banfeng blinked in surprise. "I can see it directly with my bare eyes?" "Had you been outside this house," the gramophone said, "let alone bare eyes, even a Scrying Cultivator using their techniques might not spot it. But inside this residence, you are the master of the house. Just look at him carefully, and you will eventually find the anomaly." Li Banfeng picked up the glove and examined it closely for a long time, but failed to notice anything out of the ordinary. Madam advised, "Do not fret, husband. Settle your mind, look closely, and recall what the glove looked like before. The change might be a tiny lump, a knot, a tear, or a stray thread. Cursecraft is renowned for secrecy, and tracking down the source of a curse is no easy task. You must invest more thought into it." Li Banfeng stared at the glove for over an hour until his eyes blurred, yet he still could not see any abnormality. Madam consoled him from the side. "Husband, the technique is brand new to you. Truly, you must not rush. It is a pity your humble servant only understands the theory and cannot execute the Sleep Soundly Without Care technique myself, so I am truly unable to help you with this." Li Banfeng paused in surprise. "Madam, you cannot use this technique?" "Husband, your humble servant is not a homestead cultivator. I am your dwelling spirit. I know the techniques of homestead cultivation only because I established a covenant with the residence, and through that covenant, I borrowed unnameable power to learn their essentials. Some techniques I can display a superficial smattering of before you, but others I cannot perform at all. Just like this Sleep Soundly Without Care—it is the art of the master of the house, and our home has only one master." *Our home has only one master!* Hearing those words, Li Banfeng puffed out his chest. He continued staring intently at the glove. Another hour passed with nothing to show for it, and sweat began beading on his forehead. The projector glided over to the table and cast down a beam of light. "Director Seven, these are images of Brother Glove from before. Brother Glove dislikes being photographed or filmed; he has always been wary of me, so there are only two pictures available right now." "You had something so useful, and you didn't bring it out sooner?" There were two photographs: one of the front, one of the back. The projector had been modest; two photographs were more than enough. Li Banfeng held the glove, comparing it against the images for a long time, and at last pinpointed the problem. On the back of the glove, an extra black smudge had appeared. This black smudge would normally have been obvious, but it happened to have grown directly over another existing black patch. The glove had originally been covered in dark stains. Because the two patches almost completely overlapped, Li Banfeng had failed to distinguish them. Only by comparing it with the old photographs did he realize the outline of the original patch had shifted slightly. "Madam, I found the root of disaster! What should I do with it now?" "Do with it whatever you please, husband. As long as your intent is resolute, everything inside this home must obey you!" Li Banfeng pondered for a moment, fetched a basin of clear water, placed the glove inside, and scrubbed it directly with his hands. After scrubbing for a while without seeing any change, Li Banfeng grew grim. The gramophone offered words of comfort, while the other magical treasures chimed in with suggestions. The liquor gourd said, "The banes of Curse Cultivators never come from ordinary origins. Little brother, washing it straight with water doesn't seem quite right to me." The old teapot added, "I can't see where the root is, but it seems to me that since it's a root of disaster, it must be plucked out by the roots. How could water possibly clean it away?" The Tang dao stepped forward. "My lord, tell me where the root is, and I will pick it out with the tip of my blade." The Pendulum blocked the Tang dao. "If you stab into him like that, the glove will probably lose his life. Better let me do it. My needlework is far more delicate." The Judge's Brush piped up, "I... I—" Li Banfeng assumed the Judge's Brush also wanted to do needlework and shook his head. "This isn't a matter of needlework. This black patch isn't small. We can't go unpicking it all with needle and thread—how many threads would that break?" "I... I..." The Judge's Brush grew increasingly frantic. Li Banfeng said, "Rest for now. Let me think of another way." He racked his brain, but having no other ideas, he went back to scrubbing with his hands. "I say, have you ever washed clothes before?" The Judge's Brush finally blurted out the sentence. Li Banfeng looked up. "To be honest, not really." Usually, Madam washed his clothes. "Plain water won't do!" the Judge's Brush said with great difficulty. "You must use soap!" Li Banfeng felt like waking from a dream. Washing clothes required soap! He searched around for a good while, found a bar of soap, rubbed it onto the glove, and scrubbed for a moment. Sure enough, the black patch on the back began to fade. After another bout of scrubbing, the dark stain grew fainter and fainter, until the glove gradually regained mobility. Worried it might not be thorough enough, Li Banfeng scrubbed vigorously for quite some time. Suddenly, the glove spat out a mouthful of water and gasped, "Mother of mine! Drowning, drowning! I can't swim! Where the devil did I fall into?!" Li Banfeng lifted the glove onto his palm and let out a hearty laugh. "Brother, you scared the daylights out of me." Once the glove figured out where he was, he sat in Li Banfeng's palm, flailing his index and ring fingers, and wept bitterly for a long while. "Chief, I finally get to see you again! I thought I was finished this time. When I charge into battle with you, I've never feared death, but this time I was truly terrified. I thought I would really vanish like that!" The Tang dao snorted. "Look at how pathetic you are!" Li Banfeng did not think the glove was at fault. "There's nothing wrong with fearing death. You only get one life; who isn't afraid of dying? You were injured by that old bastard for my sake. I'll always remember that loyalty. Even if it cost me my life, I would have brought you back." The glove expressed endless gratitude, but suddenly remembered something. "Chief, that old bastard you just mentioned—who was he?" Li Banfeng said, "The progenitor of Thief Cultivators, Xiao Qianshou." A shiver ran through the glove. He hopped down from Li Banfeng's hand and began pacing back and forth across the table on his thumb and pinky. Watching him patter from left to right and from right to left, the gramophone picked up the feather duster, overcome by an urge to swat him flat against the table. "Madam, calm your anger," Li Banfeng persuaded her. "The glove has just awakened and his constitution is weak. He can't endure that." Madam snapped crossly, "If you have something to say, stand still and say it! Pacing back and forth makes one irritable!" The glove clutched his index and ring fingers tightly against his chest, a testament to his conflicted state of mind. After dozens of laps, he raised his head. "Chief, I remembered some things." "Let's hear it." Li Banfeng pulled up a chair and sat beside the table. "I remembered Xiao Qianshou's hands." Li Banfeng considered this carefully. "Is there something special about his hands?" "His hands—are me!" The glove became agitated, his words tumbling out disjointedly. "Chief, Xiao Qianshou has many hands, and I am one of them! I was his disciple! I bowed to him as my master!" Li Banfeng could not quite follow. "Brother, drink some water and take your time." "I can't take my time, I mustn't slow down! I have to hurry and say it, or I'll forget again! I was the young chief of the Ghost Hand Sect. Actually, I wasn't the young chief at first. The old chief never intended to name a young chief in his entire life; he wanted to remain the grand chief forever. "But as he grew old, there were many things he could no longer manage, so he found a few overseers, and I was one of them. I managed a great deal, and I managed it well. Whenever anyone had business, they came to me, so the old chief eventually appointed me as the young chief. "Later on, the sect brought all their matters to me, and the old chief handed the sect over to me. By then, I had already reached the ninth layer. I didn't want to go to the Inner States to live as a dog, so the old chief pointed out a path for me." Li Banfeng asked, "What was this old chief's name?" "He... his surname was Xie. Xie... Xie what was it again?" "Xie Juncong?" The glove nearly jumped. "Yes! That very old dog! That old dog said my talent was extraordinary, and that the progenitor of our pathway admired me and wanted to take me as a disciple! "He said that as long as I became the progenitor's disciple, I wouldn't have to go to the Inner States to be a dog, and could ascend directly above the clouds! "I believed his words! I met the grandmaster, and I became his disciple! "I truly never expected that this grandmaster was an utter monster! He had taken quite a few disciples, and he turned every last one of them into gloves! "He is called Xiao Qianshou—A Thousand Smiling Hands. Whether he truly has a thousand hands, I don't know, but he certainly has many, and all those hands were once his disciples. I was one of them!" Now Li Banfeng understood. "When you served as Xiao Qianshou's hand, what did you usually do?" "Steal things!" The glove's memory grew clearer and clearer. "Xiao Qianshou rarely acted himself; it was always us gloves who did the work. "Whenever we failed once, he would cut off one of our fingers. Once all five fingers were chopped off, we would be reduced to ash and smoke! "He told us that every disciple of the Thief pathway owed him a debt, and once the debt was paid in full, he would let us go. "Yet I served as his disciple for many years, and never once did I see him release anyone! Some tried to escape, but all of them were caught, sliced into a thousand pieces, and then utterly destroyed!" Li Banfeng asked, "How did you escape?" "How did I escape?" The glove pattered in dozens more circles across the table. The gramophone raised the feather duster once again. Finally, the glove remembered. "Once, he fought with a ruthless powerhouse. I forget who that powerhouse was, but that person was truly merciless and nearly beat him to death! "Most of Xiao Qianshou's hands were battered to ruin. I was struck too. I wanted to flee for my life, so Xiao Qianshou cast a curse on me. I failed to escape and blacked out. "When I woke up, I found myself dumped in a garbage heap, piled together with torn rags and scrap paper, about to be consumed by fire. "Back then, I couldn't move. My body felt like it didn't belong to me. Out of all five fingers, not one would budge. "I was truly fortunate—heavy rain poured down that day, extinguishing the fire in the garbage pit. After spending a night in the refuse heap, I managed to pull through." Li Banfeng asked, "And after that?" "After that... I wandered everywhere. Whenever I saw good things, I couldn't resist taking them. But once I brought them back, I didn't know what they were for. "I didn't know who I was, nor why I was alive. Later, an old woman signed a covenant deed with me. I helped her steal things, and she gave me good things in return. I thought it was a fair trade, but who knew she was tricking me? "She pulled tricks on the deed. Everything I stole belonged to her, and from the stolen goods, she would pick out some 'good things' to give me—and whether it was a good thing was entirely up to her to decide! "I didn't know many characters back then and lacked education to begin with. Having forgotten so much, my head was muddled, and I fell foolishly into her trap. "I stole over ten thousand silver dollars for her, and she gave me a single silver dollar as my reward. When I told her that wasn't an equal trade, she said silver dollars were good things, and exchanging good things for good things was the rule! "I had suffered a loss with nowhere to complain. Bound by the deed, I couldn't even kill her. From then on, I never spoke to anyone again. "Later, the old woman was killed, and I changed masters. I set a rule for myself: whoever used me had to pay capital, and I would take that capital myself. If they treated me well, I took less; if they bullied me, I stole their heart and liver! "I didn't speak. I would demonstrate for them once. If they understood, they were fortunate; if they didn't, they had only their bad luck to blame. "I don't know how many years passed before I went to Black Rock Slope and fell into the hands of the Pure Observance Society—that Martial Elder named Wu Decheng. That brat treated me terribly. I did his bidding, yet he constantly humiliated me. I meant to deal with him, but later the chief killed him, and so I followed the chief." The glove recounted his past in full. This was the first time Li Banfeng had heard a relatively complete history of a magical treasure. Li Banfeng said, "Now that you remember who you are, do you want to become human again?" The glove waved his finger. "Chief, I have no such desire anymore. What good is being a human? Nothing but mutual deception and scheming. "Back then, when Xie Juncong said he would pass the sect to me, I took it as the truth. Who knew he had kept such a vicious move in reserve for me?" Li Banfeng said, "That vengeance must be settled, and so must the grudge with your grandmaster. But if you ever wish to become human again, I will help you." The glove looked up at Li Banfeng. "Chief, I am loyal and devoted to you—" "Brother, I am not testing you. I speak from the heart," Li Banfeng said, looking around at the family members in the room. "In the future, if anyone among you wishes to become human, I will help you. There is only one condition: never reveal what happens in this home to the outside world!" The group of magical treasures all stared fixedly at Li Banfeng. Only the Judge's Brush wrapped his newspaper tightly around himself and went back to sleep. Having uttered so many words earlier, the Judge's Brush was utterly exhausted. Besides, he genuinely had no interest in becoming human. Yet the others felt a stir of anticipation—some deeper, some fleeting. The gramophone chuckled beside him. "Darling Husband, your humble servant would like to become human, but I fear you wouldn't like me then." "As long as you are my lady, I will love you no matter what you become." Li Banfeng held Madam close, being affectionate for a brief moment, before suddenly recalling something. "The Sleep Soundly Without Care technique can dispel curses, cure illnesses, and heal injuries. Can it undo techniques?" "That depends on what technique it is." "Can it undo Water Cultivator skills?" The gramophone understood what Li Banfeng aimed to do. "Husband, are you referring to Wash the Heart and Purify the Thoughts? That technique is rather difficult to break, but inside our home, there might be a turning point. The only question is, how do you bring Shui Yongquan into our home?" This was indeed a dilemma. Virtually everyone Li Banfeng had ever brought into his home had ended up dead. There was only one group of exceptions: the bizarre creatures from Qiu Luoye's territory. How had that batch of creatures entered? Li Banfeng smiled. "Madam, would you like to visit the laboratory again?" "I would! There were still many experiments left unfinished last time. Husband, let us go to Qiqiu City!" Upon reaching Qiqiu City, Li Banfeng brought Shui Yongquan out and first moved him into his own residence, having the music box lull Shui Yongquan to sleep. Having lost his memories, Shui Yongquan was practically like an infant. Over these days, he had grown familiar with Qiu Luoye, so he was somewhat shy around Li Banfeng. Li Banfeng produced two tin toy frogs for Shui Yongquan, which kept him thoroughly amused. Once the two had grown acquainted, Shui Yongquan gradually drifted off to the sound of the music box's melody. This was the wonderful thing about the music box: her singing could be targeted specifically. Shui Yongquan slept soundly, while Li Banfeng remained wide awake. Li Banfeng carried Shui Yongquan into the companion dwelling and instructed Mengde to infiltrate Shui Yongquan's dream. There was nothing much to see in the dream; at this stage, Shui Yongquan's dreams consisted only of sleeping and eating. Mengde's primary task was to monitor the quality of Shui Yongquan's sleep, making sure he did not awaken before the task was complete. Li Banfeng stared at Shui Yongquan for a long while, pondering where the crux of the Wash the Heart and Purify the Thoughts technique lay. Since the technique was said to wash the apertures of the heart, the crux ought to be in the heart. Yet Li Banfeng stared at Shui Yongquan's heart for a long time without seeing any so-called apertures. The gramophone said, "Darling Husband, the apertures of the heart do not reside in the physical body—not to mention this man has no physical body at all. Shui Yongquan has become an Injured Demon Fiend, which makes him a departed spirit. The place where a departed spirit stores memories should be in the mortal soul. "The earthly soul is on the outside, the heavenly soul on the inside, and the mortal soul lies between them. If you wish to see the mortal soul, husband, you must look through the earthly soul." These concepts were somewhat intricate, but Li Banfeng had a simple solution. When inspecting souls, the most effective tool was the Golden Eyes Discerning the Minutest Detail. Li Banfeng activated the technique and peered for a long time before shaking his head. "Seeing through it is truly difficult." The gramophone said, "Do not rush, husband. Look into the fissures of the soul and concentrate your intent further." The gramophone could not assist him. Regardless of how exquisite her own Golden Eyes technique was, she could not see through Shui Yongquan's earthly soul. Seeing through an ordinary person's soul was difficult enough; though Shui Yongquan's current state was wretched, he remained an Injured Demon Fiend beyond the ninth layer. How could his soul be easily penetrated by others? After waiting over ten minutes, Li Banfeng seemed to make some progress. "Is this the mortal soul? It doesn't seem very different, just a bit cleaner on the surface." Blood vessels burst in Li Banfeng's eyes. "Husband, cleaner in what way? Tell me in detail!" "He has no clothes and no dust. Just now, his face was covered in dust, but now none of it can be seen." The gramophone looked at Shui Yongquan. His clothes were still there, and the dust remained on his face. "Husband, you have seen through the earthly soul! This is the wonder of the Sleep Soundly Without Care technique. Inside this residence, you are the master of our house!" "Madam, now that I see the mortal soul, where should I look?" "Look at the chest. On the chest of the mortal soul rests a bone, and upon that bone are pictures—circles and dots that are impossible to decipher. Those pictures are a person's memories." Dizzy and dazzled, Li Banfeng searched across the mortal soul for a long while. He found the bone over the chest, along with several of the drawings Madam had described. Some drawings were simple circles, some were wavy lines, some were triangles, and others were patches of varying sizes. The patterns were densely packed, yet each depiction remained independent, separated by distinct layers that prevented most of them from bleeding together. "Madam, the drawings are packed tight, looking like several dozen pictures. Which one should I look for?" "Several dozen? That is far too few!" The gramophone shook her head. "A middle-aged man in his fifties would have at least tens of thousands of drawings on his bone, not to mention Shui Yongquan is well past fifty. If you only see several dozen, husband, those must be the new memories formed after he lost his recollection." Li Banfeng asked, "What about the other pictures? Were they all washed away?" The gramophone replied, "That is the effect of the Wash the Heart and Purify the Thoughts technique. Husband, look closely. Are there any traces left behind on the bone?" Li Banfeng looked for a long time, but saw nothing. Madam deliberated for a good while. "Shui Yongquan is a clever man. When doing things, he wouldn't leave himself without a way out. Husband, reach out and touch it to see if any marks were left on the back of the bone." "I can even touch it?" "Others cannot, but you can, husband. Inside our home, you possess this ability." Li Banfeng reached out to touch the bone upon the mortal soul. Shui Yongquan's body twitched violently. Mengde suddenly opened his eyes and warned, "Master, be gentler, please! Don't wake him!" Shui Yongquan did not awaken; he merely felt discomfort. The music box's singing continued without interruption, keeping him in deep slumber. Li Banfeng's fingers made contact with the bone of the mortal soul. It felt slick and slightly warm. "Did you feel any marks, husband?" "Yes, there really are!" Li Banfeng beamed. "Madam, there are patterns on the back of the bone!" The gramophone said, "Husband, trace the patterns carefully and see if there is any mechanism within them." Li Banfeng felt around the patterns for a moment. Slowly, the lines began to grow, spreading from the back of the bone toward the front. The spreading lines crisscrossed across the front surface, gradually forming depictions. This was the fallback Shui Yongquan had left for himself! Li Banfeng laughed aloud. "Madam, more and more pictures are appearing!" Mengde emerged from the dream and said to Li Banfeng, "Master, he is about to wake up! Send him out quickly!" Li Banfeng withdrew his technique and immediately transferred Shui Yongquan out of the companion dwelling. After lying in the residence for half the day, Shui Yongquan woke up. His eyes were filled with confusion, and he failed to recognize Li Qi. His memories had not fully recovered yet. Li Banfeng led Shui Yongquan up the mountain. Unlike when they had arrived, Shui Yongquan was far more wary, constantly watching Li Banfeng's every move along the way. Upon reaching Qiu Luoye's dwelling, the two stared at each other for a moment before Shui Yongquan pointed at Qiu Luoye. "You... you... where is your trunk?" Qiu Luoye smiled and revealed his elephant form. "Old Shui, do you recognize me now?" "Qiu Elephant!" Shui Yongquan finally recognized him. Ever since Qiu Luoye had shed his old form, following Li Qi's instructions, the moniker "Qiu Elephant" was strictly forbidden from being mentioned. Yet hearing Shui Yongquan bring it up today, Qiu Luoye took no offense at all, nearly moved to tears of joy. "Old Shui, you remember me!" Qiu Luoye wrapped his trunk around Shui Yongquan, shaking him up and down. Worried he might shake him apart, Li Banfeng quickly helped put Shui Yongquan down. That shaking seemed to jog another memory in Shui Yongquan's mind. "Zhu Chunhua!" he blurted out a name, turning his gaze toward Qiu Luoye. "Do you still remember Zhu Chunhua?" Qiu Luoye gave a dry laugh. "Why bring her up?" "Did you take a fancy to her?" Qiu Luoye's cheeks flushed red. "Back then, I did. That girl had a sturdy build; whenever I saw her, I felt grounded. If I could have taken her home as my wife..." *Qiu Luoye had a maiden he liked?* Li Banfeng listened with keen interest. Shui Yongquan thought for a moment and continued, "She seemed to fancy you too." "Truly?" Qiu Luoye's trunk trembled. "Truly!" Shui Yongquan nodded. "She asked me in person whether you had any feelings for her." "What did you say?" "I said you had none. I told her you were thoroughly annoyed by her. She left the very next day. Don't you remember?" Qiu Luoye's face turned pale in waves. "Why did you say that?" Shui Yongquan said, "Because I didn't care for her. I thought you could find someone better, and that you two weren't a match. Perhaps I shouldn't have told you that." "Indeed, you shouldn't have told me..." Qiu Luoye turned to glance at Li Banfeng. "How well has his constitution recovered?" "Fairly well, I suppose—" Before Li Banfeng could finish, Qiu Luoye hoisted Shui Yongquan straight up by the collar. "Whether she and I were a match—what business was that of yours?!" Shui Yongquan yelled, "If you weren't a match, you weren't a match! My judgment of people is always accurate!" "Then tell me, who am I a match for?! If you can't tell me today, I'll take your life!" Li Banfeng rushed to hold Qiu Luoye back. "No, don't do this! Brother Qiu, let go of him first, he can't endure this!" After great difficulty wresting Shui Yongquan free, Li Banfeng suddenly felt the glove trembling against his chest. "Chief, he's here!" "Who's here?" "The progenitor!" While Qiu Luoye still moved to seize Shui Yongquan, Li Banfeng turned to him and said, "A thief has entered our home."