When Li Banfeng asked for an IOU, Qin Xiaopang, Yu Nan, and the clerk all froze.
What kind of talk was this?
Li Banfeng was dead serious. He wanted an IOU, and a complete one at that. "We agreed you'd pay me back in your next life. What's your name going to be in your next life? Where will you live? What line of work will you be in? What pathway will you follow, and how many tiers of cultivation will you have? You have to spell it all out clearly for me."
"H-How could I possibly know that..." Xiaopang was at a loss.
"If you can't tell me, how will you pay your debt?" Li Banfeng looked at Qin Xiaopang intently. A simple question that illustrated a simple truth.
Every promise about the next life, no matter how moving it sounded, was utter bullshit.
Yu Nan glanced at Xiaopang. "Boss Qin, Seventh Master just doesn't want you throwing your life away."
Xiaopang looked at Li Banfeng, his eyes rimmed with red.
Li Banfeng was a good man.
But where could they get two hundred thousand dollars?
Even if Qin Xiaopang pawned off everything he owned, he couldn't scrape together even a hundred thousand.
Li Banfeng said to the clerk, "Brother, trouble you to go find Mr. Yao once more. Tell him I'll pay the two hundred thousand. Have him get ready and come over as soon as possible."
The clerk gave an affirmative reply and immediately headed out the door.
Qin Xiaopang asked in astonishment, "Brother Li, where did you get so much money?"
Li Banfeng said impassively, "Is that any of your business?"
Tears welled in Qin Xiaopang's eyes. "Brother Seven, how can I ever repay this debt of gratitude! From now on, whatever you say, I'll do—no questions asked!"
Li Banfeng nodded. "Bear me a child first."
Qin Xiaopang wiped his tears and said, "I'm a Food Cultivator."
Li Banfeng pulled up a chair and sat down. "First tell me, why did someone reduce you to this state?"
Qin Xiaopang glanced at Yu Nan and didn't answer.
There were things he didn't want to speak of in front of outsiders.
Understanding, Yu Nan left Xiaopang's room and returned to the main house to tidy up her own quarters.
With only Li Banfeng and Qin Xiaopang left in the room, Qin Xiaopang could hold it in no longer and broke down into sobs.
"Brother Seven, I'm just useless trash. I don't have any real ability, yet I keep getting so many damn ideas in my head.
"Back when you sold the snake-spot pills to Shopkeeper Feng, I even said you didn't know how to do business, that things like that should be sold to the rich and noble.
"I'm just a fucking idiot. I didn't even take a piss to look at my own reflection. What the hell am I? Why would those rich and noble elites ever look twice at me!"
Weeping, Xiaopang recounted what had happened.
Since childhood, Qin Xiaopang had always believed he was destined for greatness, and whenever he encountered big figures, he would try every way possible to forge connections.
In reality, he never ran into truly important figures. Previously, he had made the acquaintance of a Young Master Jia named Jia Quansheng, who claimed to come from a prominent background, though by Yaowanggou standards, his family was barely considered moderately wealthy.
Young Master Jia had a bunch of fair-weather friends who loved gathering to eat and drink when they had nothing better to do. That day, Xiaopang happened to run into them, and they insisted on making Xiaopang treat them. Xiaopang thought it was an opportunity, so he agreed.
Young Master Jia was a Literary Cultivator who hadn't yet reached a tier; he had to read one book a day just to maintain the basic cultivation of a Literary Cultivator.
At the dinner table, Young Master Jia complained about how grueling Literary Cultivation was, and someone chimed in with an idea, suggesting Young Master Jia take medicinal pills.
Taking a single snake-spot pill meant going a whole day without having to read books. Young Master Jia inquired about it, and since Xiaopang happened to want to sell pills, he took out one pill and gifted it to Young Master Jia to try.
After taking the snake-spot pill and experiencing its efficacy, Young Master Jia was overjoyed upon receiving it. He called Xiaopang brother right then and there. Xiaopang felt his path had broadened, deluding himself into thinking he had climbed onto a high branch.
Two days later, Young Master Jia sent someone to find Xiaopang, asking for two more pills.
Such precious pills couldn't just be given away again. Xiaopang quoted a price of eight thousand apiece, which was considerably lower than the market rate.
He had assumed Young Master Jia would appreciate the favor. Who would have guessed that the moment Xiaopang brought up money, Young Master Jia took offense.
Young Master Jia found people to teach Xiaopang a lesson. Xiaopang refused to take that lying down and drove off all the thugs who came for him.
Infuriated even further, Young Master Jia took the matter to his cousin—Geng Zhiwei.
Geng Zhiwei was the eldest young master of the Geng Family Medicine Shop. Upon receiving the news, he immediately sent men after Qin Xiaopang, telling Xiaopang he wanted to buy ten snake-spot pills at two hundred dollars apiece.
Two hundred dollars apiece—this was an outright insult to Xiaopang.
Xiaopang naturally couldn't stomach it and got into a fight with Geng Zhiwei's men.
But this time he lost the fight. He was captured directly, his pills were robbed, and he was dragged before Geng Zhiwei and Jia Quansheng, forced to kowtow and admit fault.
Xiaopang refused to kowtow, risking his life to land a punch on Geng Zhiwei.
Geng Zhiwei was punched until blood spurted from his nose and mouth. In a towering rage, he bought a talisman paper from the Jiangxiang Gang and cast a spell on Xiaopang, making him kneel in Tail Alley until he starved to death.
After listening to the whole story, Li Banfeng found an opportunity to leave the courtyard. He visited the Portable Abode, retrieved three hundred thousand in cash, and divided it into two parcels.
Old Mr. Yao had quoted two hundred thousand; Li Banfeng prepared an extra hundred thousand just in case of unexpected expenses.
Before long, the clerk returned with Mr. Yao, and Yu Nan went to the entrance in person to greet him.
This Mr. Yao had arrived quite quickly; from when the clerk left until now, the round trip had taken only half an hour or so. Evidently, he lived nearby.
Li Banfeng had assumed Mr. Yao would be a famous physician of Baixiang Village.
A famous physician ought to have the bearing of one. By Li Banfeng's imagining, this renowned doctor should have been an elder carrying a medicine box, wearing thick eyeglasses, and exuding an air of transcendent sagacity.
When he actually laid eyes on Mr. Yao, Li Banfeng found his expectations were slightly off.
There were no glasses, nor was there a medicine box.
He was indeed an elder, but as for transcendent sagacity... that depended on how one defined it.
Before the old man even stepped inside, Li Banfeng smelled a pungent stench of liquor.
The smell of alcohol was mingled with the scent of smoke and roasting meat, bearing a certain resemblance to the barbecue joints Li Banfeng was familiar with.
Did the old gent go out for barbecue?
Swaying with every step, this Mr. Yao wobbled into the room, holding a liquor gourd. He took a huge swig of liquor, blew a handful of snot, casually smeared it on the wall, and then touched Xiaopang's forehead.
"The boy's got a bit of a fever. Catch a cold, did he?" Mr. Yao asked.
Xiaopang was speechless.
Li Banfeng looked at this Mr. Yao.
He looked at his tattered clothes, looked at the battered hat riddled with holes that he wore.
Then he looked at his flushed cheeks, and the bulbous, gin-blossomed nose that was even redder than his cheeks.
Li Banfeng asked, "Old man, did you come to the wrong place?"
Mr. Yao let out a boozy burp right in Li Banfeng's face. "Who says I came to the wrong place? Didn't you folks call for me?"
Li Banfeng smelled the potency of the burp. "You've had at least a jin, haven't you?"
Mr. Yao shook his head and held up three fingers. "Five and a half jin, with half a jin left in the gourd. Let me tell you, that's accurate for sure."
Fearing Li Banfeng was worried, Yu Nan lowered her voice. "Seventh Master, don't worry. Mr. Yao is a man of genuine skill."
Li Banfeng nodded. "I think Old Mr. Yao is quite nice."
Mr. Yao walked over to Qin Xiaopang and asked, "What's your name?"
Qin Xiaopang frowned. "Didn't we meet at noon? My surname is Qin."
"Surname Qin? Did we meet?" Mr. Yao scratched his scalp and thought for a moment. "Then let's say we did."
With that, Old Mr. Yao blew another handful of snot. Seeing nowhere to wipe it, he simply wiped it on his trousers.
Moss was practically growing on those trousers.
Wait, that didn't look like moss...
The old gentleman first took Xiaopang's pulse. After feeling it for a moment, he asked, "Miss Qin, how many months pregnant are you?"
Li Banfeng looked at Qin Xiaopang and frowned. "Behind my back, who got you knocked up?"
Qin Xiaopang stared at Mr. Yao. "I'm a Food Cultivator! I'm a man!"
Mr. Yao let out another boozy burp and scowled. "Who says Food Cultivators are all men? I used to know a female Food Cultivator—that woman could eat half an ox in one sitting!"
Xiaopang shook his head. "We're not talking about the same thing! I'm not pregnant, I was struck by a spell! Didn't you already examine me at noon?"
"Did I? Let me look again! If you aren't pregnant, why is your belly so big?"
"That's not my belly..."
Qin Xiaopang's lower body was curled up under the quilt, and from the outside, it really did look like a big belly.
Old Mr. Yao lifted the quilt, felt around on Qin Xiaopang's legs a few times, and asked, "What happened to your hands?"
"Those are my legs!" Even though he had already experienced this once at noon, Xiaopang still couldn't help getting irritated at the sight of Mr. Yao.
Mr. Yao felt around Xiaopang's legs thoroughly for quite a while, his slack expression suddenly turning focused.
"I've seen you. I saw you at noon."
Xiaopang felt a surge of joy. "You remember!"
"This isn't an ordinary spell." Old Mr. Yao's expression grew unusually grave. Turning to Li Banfeng, he asked, "You're her husband, right?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "I am."
He felt more and more that Old Mr. Yao was a fine man, endowed with exceptional judgment.
Qin Xiaopang stammered, "Wait, he's my friend, my friend..."
Xiaopang wanted to explain further, but Old Mr. Yao said in a heavy voice, "Delay one more day, and he won't be able to bear children."
Qin Xiaopang snapped angrily, "I'm a man!"
Old Mr. Yao retorted, "Don't men need to have kids?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "Nothing wrong with that statement."
Qin Xiaopang fell silent; he realized the gravity of the situation.
Old Mr. Yao continued, "If he isn't cured past tonight, he'll be a man without seed.
"By this time tomorrow, he will never walk again.
"If he still isn't cured after another three days, you can buy him a coffin and arrange his funeral."
Qin Xiaopang looked at Li Banfeng—this was his last hope.
Li Banfeng nodded to Old Mr. Yao. "I trouble you to save his life."
Old Yao chugged a gulp of liquor, wiped his mouth, and said, "The price agreed upon during the day: two hundred thousand, not a cent less."
Li Banfeng hauled out a burlap sack and dumped out twenty stacks of Huan Country notes. "Two hundred thousand, not a cent short. It's all here!"
"Splendid!" Old Mr. Yao praised, grabbed the burlap sack, and headed straight for the door.
Everyone was stunned. Li Banfeng barked out, "Hold on! You haven't treated him yet!"
Old Mr. Yao set down the burlap sack, walked over to Li Banfeng, and smiled sheepishly. "Almost forgot about that. Lie down first."
Li Banfeng lay down.
Old Yao asked Li Banfeng, "Which leg can't move?"
"Which leg was it again?" Li Banfeng pondered carefully.
Qin Xiaopang roared in fury, "It's my legs!"
Old Mr. Yao went over to Yu Nan and chuckled. "Lass, give me a cigarette!"
Yu Nan hurriedly handed a cigarette to the old gentleman, then took out a match and lit it for him.
Gulp, gulp. The old man drained the gourd of liquor clean, walked up close to Xiaopang, took a drag from the cigarette, and then—poof—spat out a ball of flame!
Qin Xiaopang cried out in alarm as his entire body caught fire.
Li Banfeng was somewhat surprised. "Old sir, that will cure him?"
Old Mr. Yao stared at the fire-engulfed Xiaopang with utter bewilderment. "What's wrong with him? Is he sick? I just let out a burp—how'd he catch fire?"
Chapter 60