Li Banfeng looked at Lai Baifan's corpse. Although the body had been shattered into pieces, piecing together the mangled limbs and broken remains still left something that roughly resembled a toad.
Say what you would, his technique of a hundred overturns and a hundred variations was undeniably formidable. Li Banfeng remarked, "He must have combined methods from both Physical and Food Cultivation to create this distinct stellar technique of his."
The gramophone piped up beside him, "My precious husband, your humble servant tasted not a trace of Physical Cultivation on him."
Li Banfeng blinked in surprise. "Do Physical Cultivators have a special taste?"
"Of course they do! An ox-shaped Physical Cultivator has that distinctive chewiness of beef. A sheep-shaped one carries the unique gamey aroma of mutton. And those shaped like scorpions or centipedes have the pungent musk of creeping vermin. This man didn't have any special flavor to him at all."
Li Banfeng said, "Wife, savor it carefully again. Did his soul really not taste of toad?"
The gramophone gave a musical laugh. "My precious husband, you're asking the right girl! Toad is your humble servant's absolute favorite treat. If this man's soul had smelled of toad, how could I have failed to taste it?"
Li Banfeng pondered for a moment, then asked, "If not a toad, could he have been some other kind of Physical Cultivator?"
The gramophone sighed. "Husband, your humble servant only ate his soul, so perhaps the flavor didn't come through. Why not ask the ones who ate the meat?"
Hong Ying thrust out her chest. "I can't tell the difference!"
The gramophone raised its wooden board. "If you can't tell, keep your head down and eat your meal! What gives you so much to say? Little Nine, your tongue is sharp. Did you taste anything?"
Miss Nine cast a smug glance at Hong Ying, then turned to Li Banfeng. "Xiaowan is right. This man was definitely no Physical Cultivator."
*He wasn't a Physical Cultivator, yet he masqueraded as their founding ancestor?*
Li Banfeng marveled, "What a brilliant scheme."
Every move Lai Baifan made mimicked a toad, and his appearance bore more than a passing resemblance to a warted toad, yet he wasn't even a Physical Cultivator. In spite of that, he had legitimately established himself in Three-Headed Fork as the founding ancestor of the path.
What was worse, before the fight Li Banfeng had questioned Iron Baldy and a whole gang of overseers; not a single one among them had known Lai Baifan's true path.
Lai Baifan had not dual-cultivated the Physical path, but that hadn't stopped him from inventing a technique.
"My precious wife, what is the core secret to creating a technique?"
Hong Ying shook her head. "My precious Seventh Brother, why bother creating techniques? Aren't there plenty of existing ones for you to learn?"
Miss Nine sneered, "Ah-Qi is an outstanding gentleman. How could a lump of deadweight like you fathom his ambitions?"
"Who are you calling a lump?" The two were on the verge of fighting again when the gramophone vented a blast of scalding steam, turning both of them bright red.
"Husband, to create a technique of your own, you must grasp the essence of what cannot be named. Before using a technique, you must understand where its foundation lies; after using it, you must understand what variations it can produce. Chopping with a blade or kicking with a foot lacks foundation and brings no variation, so neither of them is a technique."
*Foundation and variation.*
Li Banfeng pondered this for a long while before leaving the companion dwelling.
***
Back in the wooden cabin, Li Banfeng released a cluster of shadows and convened a meeting.
"Regarding the development prospects of Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart, I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts. Don't be shy—speak your minds freely."
The room fell silent for two minutes before a dark silhouette stepped forward. "I don't think Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart counts as a technique. It lacks the defining traits of one. It's more like a tactic—just like our puppet dance routine. Speaking of the puppet dance, I recently thought up a new set of steps. While the footwork doesn't change much, the upper-body expression is far richer. As we all know, our body language has always been relatively monotonous..."
Li Banfeng cut the shadow short. "Comrade Banfeng the Third, stop dancing! And Banfeng the Fourth, turn off that background music! A serious occasion like this is no place for such heavy beats."
Banfeng the Third and Banfeng the Fourth slunk back to their spots, silent on the outside but thoroughly unconvinced.
Banfeng the First had told them to speak their minds, but his bias was glaringly obvious: he wanted Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart to be a genuine technique.
Most of the other Banfengs disagreed:
"Logically speaking, Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart can't possibly be a technique, because you can't even trace it to a proper path."
"Actually, I think the path is easy to trace. This so-called Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart is just the boys rushing forward together to rip an enemy into five chunks. To use it, you first have to know Body and Shadow Comforting Each Other. At the end of the day, it's just a Dwelling Cultivator tactic."
Li Banfeng refused to yield. "Then why do I feel a resonance every time we use it?"
"The boys are out there doing the dirty work. If you didn't feel a thing, would your conscience even be clear?"
Li Banfeng thought again. "Then tell me, why do seven of us charge in every single time we tear someone apart?"
The shadows quieted down for a moment, then chimed in one after another:
"Because we're all Li the Seventh! We have an emotional attachment to the number seven!"
"The first time we used this tactic, seven of us charged in together. It clearly became a habit!"
"Four take the lead while three play support. That kind of division of labor makes complete sense!"
Every explanation was logical, but none of them gave Li Banfeng the answer he wanted.
As the argument raged, Li Banfeng looked toward Banfeng the Second.
Banfeng the Second hadn't said a word. Having spent the longest time inside Lai Baifan's stomach, drenched repeatedly in gastric acid, he had suffered his fair share of physical and psychological trauma.
After locking eyes with him for a moment, Banfeng the Second spoke. Li Banfeng had expected a tirade of complaints, but the shadow's very first words gave him immense encouragement.
"When we used Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart, we hardly discussed a thing, yet our coordination was seamless. That's why I believe it truly is a technique."
Li Banfeng nodded repeatedly. At the time, there had indeed been no room to coordinate tactics.
Banfeng the Third protested, "Did a tactic like that even need coordination? With an opportunity that good, tearing him apart was a no-brainer!"
Banfeng the Second fixed him with a stare. "Was that really a good opportunity? We weren't surrounding Lai Baifan on the outside; we were crammed in his gut! We could barely find a foothold. It was the worst possible moment to execute Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart. The only reason we pulled it off was because we responded to Banfeng the First's resonance, which bears more than a passing resemblance to the hallmarks of a technique."
Reflecting on the battle, the shadows felt that Banfeng the Second had made a good point.
However, Banfeng the Second quickly highlighted the crux of the issue: "If this technique always relies on shadows, it remains a textbook Dwelling Cultivator art. What's more, that fight was extraordinarily perilous—borderline lucky. Lai Baifan swallowed me right off the bat, leaving us on the back foot immediately. The struggle afterward was ugly. If we hadn't unleashed Five Horses Tearing a Body Apart out of nowhere, the outcome might have been grim. Luck is temporary, but flaws endure. Allow me to offer a profound summary of this battle..."
*Smack!*
Li Banfeng knocked Banfeng the Second flat with a single slap. "Since when is it your turn to summarize?"
Banfeng the Second scrambled to his feet and landed a punch on Li Banfeng. The two wrestled into a brawl, prompting the remaining shadows to split into two factions, pick their targets, and tear into one another.
Tangyuan entered the yard, walked up to the entrance, and knocked on the door.
"Who's there?"
A chorus of what sounded like hundreds of voices answered at once, giving Tangyuan such a fright that she nearly bolted right out of the courtyard.
The door opened, revealing Li the Seventh standing alone in the room.
Where had all those voices come from? Had she heard wrong?
"Seventh Master, the buyer arrived today to collect the shipment. He says we have to stick to the old rules and won't raise the price by a single copper."
Li Banfeng chuckled. "Tell him to get lost. We won't lack buyers."
Tangyuan lowered her voice. "He claims to be an authorized buyer appointed by the Garrison Office. He sounded quite threatening. Seventh Master, shouldn't you take a look in person?"
Li Banfeng didn't even look up. "If you're frightened, send Lightbulb. He's seen more of the world than you."
The prick stung Tangyuan's pride. Biting her lip, she bowed her head. "Seventh Master, I'll send him packing right away."
Li Banfeng handed her a Golden Origin Pill and a Blue Leaf Pill. "I'm leaving the rest of the business in your hands, too. Manage the quarry well."
Accepting the pills, Tangyuan felt her heart pound with nervousness.
She couldn't be blamed. Three-Headed Fork was a far cry from the environment she had grown up in, and she possessed zero business experience.
Li Banfeng offered no further instructions. Having chosen to follow him, handling matters like these would be a routine part of her life from now on.
No sooner had Tangyuan left than Lightbulb arrived. "Seventh Master, those overseers spilled everything. Here on Radish Mountain, apart from this quarry, that founding ancestor of physical cultivation has two other businesses: an herb shop and a restaurant."
Li Banfeng shook his head. "From now on, stop calling Lai Baifan an ancestor of physical cultivation. He was no Physical Cultivator at all."
He handed Lightbulb a Golden Origin Pill and a Blue Leaf Pill as well. Lightbulb caught his drift immediately: he was going into battle with the Seventh Master.
Lai Baifan's operations around Radish Mountain had all been placed in the hands of Iron Baldy. Now that both Lai Baifan and Iron Baldy were dead, these enterprises had to be brought under their own control.
Pocketing the pills, Lightbulb set off with Li the Seventh. When they arrived at Anping Pharmacy, Lightbulb called over a clerk. "Fetch whoever's in charge."
The clerk glanced at Lightbulb, initially intending to chase him out, but seeing how handsome the fellow was, he humored him with a few extra words: "Which manager are you looking for? I'm the one running this place. If you have business, tell it to me!"
"You're the manager?" Lightbulb smiled. "I came to buy herbs from you."
"What kind of herbs?"
"Herbs that build up Dao affinities."
Anping Pharmacy was Lai Baifan's property, and selling herbs to build Dao affinities was their main source of profit.
Could such trade be voiced out in the open?
Naturally not. It wasn't legal to begin with. Even a rock from Three-Headed Fork could build up Dao affinities, so the value of these precious herbs could easily be imagined. Without a permit from the Garrison Office, no one had the right to harvest medicine, let alone open a storefront to sell it.
The clerk shook out his rag. "You've come to the wrong place. We don't carry that sort of medicine here."
Lightbulb asked, "Where can I find it, then?"
The clerk pointed outside. "I'll point you down the bright path. Head east out the door and walk three li until you see a wealthy estate belonging to the Zheng family. Old Master Zheng left for the Inner States two years ago and vanished without a trace, so the madam runs the household now. She's particularly fond of handsome lads like you. Go ask her and see if she'll take you in."
Lightbulb put on a serious face. "If she takes me in, I can build up Dao affinities?"
"Dao affinities, who knows? But you'll definitely score an affinity for matrimony!" The clerk roared with laughter, and the rest of the shop joined in.
Lightbulb smiled as well. "You've got a slick tongue, lad. In my path, you'd make fine raw material!"
The moment the words left his mouth, the clerk's feet slipped out from under him, sending him crashing flat on his back.
The fall was brutal, leaving the clerk unable to stand.
The other clerks flared up, grabbing weapons and surrounding Lightbulb.
With a flick of Lightbulb's wrist, every last one of them slipped and hit the floor.
Amid the scuffle, the pharmacy's actual manager emerged. A man in his thirties, seeing that Lightbulb possessed cultivation, shook his frame. Two long antennae sprouted from his forehead, the cloth beneath his sleeves tore open, and fifteen pairs of slender legs burst forth. The tips of the legs ended in backward hooks that dug firmly into the gaps between the brick pavers as he crawled forward, step by step, straight toward Lightbulb.
*A house centipede! He can keep his footing on grease!*
Li Banfeng watched Lightbulb. Without Tangyuan's support, Lightbulb would have a tough time dealing with this type of Physical Cultivator.
The manager crawled toward Lightbulb, his long antennae nearly brushing the young man's face.
"Ignorant country brat! Do you even know whose business this is, daring to stir up trouble here?"
Lightbulb didn't back down in the slightest. Composed and steady, he said, "Which of us is the ignorant one? Don't you know this business has already changed owners?"
A flicker of worry crossed the manager's mind. Word had reached him that trouble had broken out at the quarry, and the head manager had gone there without sending any word back. Could he have fallen into this boy's hands?
Judging by his aura, the kid shouldn't be strong enough to overcome the head manager. And even if the head manager had slipped up, the founding ancestor was still backing them from behind.
With that reassurance, the manager cast his doubts aside. His lips split open on both sides to reveal a pair of venomous chelicerae, and he lunged to bite Lightbulb.
Grease welled up beneath Lightbulb's feet, carrying him out of reach of the fangs. He drove a dagger straight into the centipede.
The blade snapped cleanly; the centipede's carapace remained unbreached.
*This beast is that tough?*
As panic threatened to overtake Lightbulb, Li Banfeng tossed him a pair of iron truncheons.
Though lacking spirituality of their own, these truncheons had been reforged by the Bronze Lotus, rendering them extraordinarily resilient, razor-sharp, and laced with deadly poison.
Holding the peculiar weapons, Lightbulb was momentarily at a loss for how to wield them.
The centipede twisted around, lunging at Lightbulb once more.
Dodging its head, Lightbulb thrust a truncheon hard into its flank.
This time, it sank deep.
The centipede convulsed in agony.
Leaving the weapon lodged inside the beast, Lightbulb twisted and churned the iron while using the grease underfoot to glide in tandem with the centipede's thrashing, keeping himself out of reach of its jaws. Several clerks scrambled up from the slick floor to swarm him. Lightbulb fended off the centipede with one hand while holding off the mob with the other, cutting a rather flustered figure.
Li Banfeng stood to the side, watching quietly without intervening.
After ten minutes, Lightbulb sat on the floor, panting for breath. The centipede's poison had taken full effect, rendering it motionless, while the dozen or so clerks lay scattered across the ground.
Li Banfeng produced another Golden Origin Pill and passed it to Lightbulb. "Good work, lad. A fine job."
Lightbulb beamed as he pocketed the pill. "Seventh Master, there's still a restaurant. Let's take that one over too."
"No rush!" Li Banfeng looked around the shop. "If we seize all these shops, who's going to run them?"
That was a problem.
Li Banfeng fed the manager an antidote pill. Once the venom subsided, the manager yielded completely, standing before Lightbulb without daring to breathe too loudly.
Lightbulb questioned him, "How many businesses does your founding ancestor run?"
The manager, whose surname was Lu and given name Kuoda, was a great-great-disciple of Lai Baifan and knew a fair amount about his affairs. To his knowledge, Lai Baifan possessed thirteen enterprises, eleven of which dealt with local specialties of Three-Headed Fork.
Li Banfeng had only two subordinates at his disposal. No matter how he rotated them, there was no way they could watch over so many properties.
Once the pharmacy was secured, Li Banfeng placed a call to Ma the Fifth. Ma the Fifth found himself in a bind. His newland required management, and a sprawling web of businesses across Green Water City, Qiqiu City, Qishuiyao, Yesong Bridge, and Sleepless Town was waiting for his attention.
Three-Headed Fork was a peculiar place, tricky to enter and leave. If Ma the Fifth traveled there in person, he would have to drop his operations elsewhere. Yet since Old Seventh had gone to the trouble of winning these assets, leaving them unattended pained him just as much.
Li Banfeng understood his predicament. "Old Fifth, don't worry. It's not yet time for proper operations here. Send a few reliable hands over first so we can secure the territory."
Three days later, a contingent arrived by train.
"Seventh Master, I thought you'd forgotten about your old pal Zuo!" Zuo Wugang strode up, trailed by Zhen Jincheng and Cao Zhida.
"Young Master Seven, as you turned and walked away, did you know that my thoughts lingered upon you from behind?" The Childhood Sweetheart sisters arrived, bringing with them Hundred Hands Lian, the Street-Scolding Woman, Sight in Eight Directions, and Devour the Six Harmonies.
"Seventh Master, I brought Black Rock Slope's latest shadow-play projector!" Chuanzi had upgraded the device; though slightly bulkier than before, the image clarity was far superior.
"Did you bring the films?"
Chuanzi scratched his head. "Forgot."
"Then what's the point of bringing the projector?"
"I'll have the brothers back in Black Rock Slope mail them right away!"
"Benefactor, everyone says the heavenly light here is terrifying! Will I be all right wearing this?" Xiao Yeci was bundled up from head to toe. If she hadn't spoken, Li Banfeng wouldn't have recognized her.
"That outfit won't do," Li Banfeng said, gesturing toward the back room of the pharmacy. "Come inside with me in a bit, and I'll change you into something else!"
"Seventh Master, I've arranged hands to oversee Chu Yaoxian's territory and settled every detail. You needn't worry." Juanzi had come to Three-Headed Fork as well. To be frank, setting foot in this place took immense courage on her part; the memories it held for her were nothing short of a nightmare.
"Old Seventh, reaching hands into Three-Headed Fork is something none of the Four Great Families managed for years." Qiu Zhiheng had brought Grass Leaf along so she could broaden her horizons.
"Brother Baisha, who's this little lady? She's gorgeous!" Oil Peach's eyes darted repeatedly toward Tangyuan, making her flush scarlet.
"This is You Xuehan, a friend from the Outer States."
"You Xuehan... You Xuetao..." Oil Peach stared at Tangyuan for quite some time.
"Seventh Brother, just tell me who to take down next. Your brother can fight!" Qin Tianjiu stood beside Qiu Zhiheng. When a gust of cold wind swept past, both scrawny men swayed on their feet.
Li Banfeng asked the fellow, "Brother, how much do you need to eat in a day now?"
Qin Tianjiu pondered for a moment. "Before coming here, I ate until Old Man Pan wept. I could tell he wasn't joking—he was truly crying."
Li Banfeng felt he hadn't thought this through. Food was anything but plentiful in Three-Headed Fork.
***
Cai Junshan, the Garrison Commissioner of Sinners' City, arrived at the Garrison Office and waited outside Liao Zihui's office for nearly half a day.
Liao Zihui hadn't wanted to see him, but since the man refused to leave, he finally had Ling Sujun usher him in.
"Junshan, you must be quite busy lately. Whatever you do, don't slack on wartime preparations."
The threat of war from the Demon Lord had yet to pass, and Liao Zihui was reminding Cai Junshan that his primary duty was military readiness.
Whether Cai Junshan genuinely failed to understand or merely feigned ignorance, he bypassed the topic entirely: "Chief Commissioner, Li the Seventh has gone to Three-Headed Fork. Have you heard about this?"
"Oh?" Liao Zihui looked startled. "He went to Three-Headed Fork?"
"He did, and he's turning the place upside down!"
"Don't put it like that. He has a permit to conduct business in Three-Headed Fork. If someone goes there to trade, can we legally stop him?"
Cai Junshan had suppressed his anger for far too long, and now it burst out in a flood: "He didn't go there to do business—he went to tear down houses! In less than half a month, he's seized over a dozen enterprises. How many honest, law-abiding merchants have had their homes and livelihoods ruined at his hands?"
Liao Zihui chuckled. "In Three-Headed Fork? You claim there are honest, law-abiding merchants?"
"There are! People were running legitimate shops, and he just walked in and openly robbed them!"
"Open robbery, is it? So grave? So unprecedented?" Liao Zihui sighed. "In any corner of Puluo Province, open robberies happen every single day. Are we supposed to police every last one of them?"
Cai Junshan looked up. "Chief Commissioner, Three-Headed Fork is different. It's a strategic stronghold; order cannot be disrupted!"
Liao Zihui's smile slowly faded. "Junshan, whether you care about order or not, we both know the truth. And we both know how much profit you've reaped from Three-Headed Fork over all these years."
"Chief Commissioner, you can't say that! When assignments were handed out back then, hardly anyone was willing to go to Three-Headed Fork. I went without regard for personal gain..." Cai Junshan grew anxious.
Liao Zihui poured him a cup of tea. "Junshan, don't fret. This tea is to honor you. You've truly suffered these years in Three-Headed Fork. If you feel too wronged, I can transfer you to a better post."
Cai Junshan lowered his head. "I wasn't complaining."
Liao Zihui lifted his own teacup and brushed aside the leaves. "As for those 'honest and law-abiding merchants,' go reason with them. If they do business with Li the Seventh, he won't shortchange them. But if they insist on tripping him up, no one under the heavens will be able to save them."
Cai Junshan opened his mouth to argue.
Liao Zihui raised his cup. "Drink the tea poured in your honor, and be on your way. Don't wait for the next cup."
***
Returning to Three-Headed Fork, Cai Junshan was seething with rage, yet Liao Zihui had already advised him to partner with Li Banfeng in business.
Easy to say, but how much money would that cost him?
In the past, every enterprise had paid tribute directly to him. Now, he was supposed to humble himself, find a way to partner with Li the Seventh, and watch the man's moods.
Back when the three-headed fugitives fled Sinners' City, Cai Junshan had pursued them to Qiu Luoye's territory, only for Li the Seventh to slap him twice across the face. He still remembered that humiliation vividly. And now he was expected to grovel and beg Li the Seventh for business? Out of the question!
One of his subordinates, Ji Mingcai, the section chief overseeing commerce, offered an idea: "Commissioner Cai, Chief Commissioner Liao indeed has reservations. Li the Seventh holds an official rank higher than Chief Commissioner Liao himself. We can't use hard tactics against him."
"What are you getting at?" Cai Junshan frowned. "If not hard tactics, then soft ones? You want me to beg him?"
"Certainly not. We won't play soft, and we won't play hard. We'll play dirty!"
Cai Junshan thought about it. "You mean tamper with the trains so his goods can't ship out?"
Ji Mingcai shook his head. "Even worse. Li the Seventh's permit to operate in Three-Headed Fork was issued by the higher-ups on official paper. What's more, there are documents stating he only pays base freight rates for transport. If we try to trip him up there, Chief Commissioner Liao will never allow it."
Cai Junshan was baffled. "This won't work, that won't work—then tell me, how do we play dirty?"
Ji Mingcai leaned in close and whispered, "Summon the filthiest man around, and let him do the dirty work!"
Cai Junshan knew who he meant, but felt uneasy. "Can he actually pull it off?"
"Whether he pulls it off or not, we'll see. Li the Seventh disgusted us first; it's high time we disgusted him right back!"
Cai Junshan nodded. "Fair enough."
***
Zuo Wugang sat outside the restaurant, waiting for customers. Most folk in Three-Headed Fork were impoverished, with few able to afford dining out. In the past, this place had flown the banner of an eatery while secretly dealing in illicit herb trafficking. Now that Li the Seventh had seized it, it had genuinely been turned into a restaurant.
Having waited all morning, only two customers had come, both ordering plain congee, pickled vegetables, and clear broth.
By midday, Hundred Hands Lian had steamed two baskets of mantou and whipped up a few dishes, telling Zuo Wugang and the brothers to eat first.
Zuo Wugang spotted several traveling laborers carrying shoulder poles, squatting outside the doorway and gnawing on flatbread with gulps of cold water.
The flatbread was rock-hard and difficult to chew, and with only a small piece per person, how could it fill their bellies?
Unable to sate their hunger, the men gazed longingly into the restaurant, eager to buy mantou but struggling to scrape together enough coin.
Seeing this, Zuo Wugang told Cao Zhida, "Pack a bag of mantou and give it to them. We can't finish them all anyway."
Cao Zhida handed over the buns. The travelers offered endless thanks and went on their way with the food.
Before long, the men were back.
Not on foot, but wheeled back on a cart.
They lay across a flatbed, their faces pale and mouths frothing, looking for all the world like corpses.
The man pushing the cart was a middle-aged fellow in his fifties. Shoving the cart right up to the restaurant's entrance, he bellowed inside, "Hey! Anyone breathing in there?"
Zuo Wugang emerged, took one look at the men on the cart, and grasped the situation instantly.
The carter looked Zuo Wugang up and down. "You the manager here?"
Zuo Wugang nodded. "I am."
The man declared, "I've walked the paths for decades, and the brothers on the road call me Tan Jinxiao. A few of my friends ate a bun from your shop and collapsed right after. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Zuo Wugang chuckled. "What do you think I have to say?"
Tan Jinxiao frowned. "The facts are plain as day. You trying to play dumb with me?"
Zuo Wugang rotated his wrists. "It's rare for me to do a good deed, and I run straight into a bloody extortion scam. Out with it—what do you want?"
Tan Jinxiao gave a wry smile. "What do I want? You think I came to shake you down? Look down on me, do you? Let me tell you, I came here for an honest debate!"
As they spoke, a crowd of pedestrians gathered to watch the commotion.
"What happened?"
"Can't you see? The food in this place is tainted; someone got poisoned."
"Who's that guy?"
"Looks like Old Tan, doesn't it?"
"Hurry, keep moving! This isn't a show you want to watch."
Zuo Wugang stared at Tan Jinxiao. "All right, how do you propose we settle this?"
*Thud!*
Tan Jinxiao flopped flat on the ground.
Zuo Wugang looked down. "And what is this supposed to mean?"
"Today, we settle this by the rules!" Tan Jinxiao yelled from the ground. "I'll lie right here and let you hit me twenty times. Ten on my front, then I'll flip over and let you hit me ten times on my back. As long as you don't use weapons, use whatever fists or kicks you like. If I beg for mercy even once or let out so much as a groan, this beating is on me, and I'll never step foot near your restaurant again. If we ever cross paths, I'll kowtow to you on sight! But if I don't beg for mercy today, then sorry, pal—this shop belongs to me! You can keep doing business here, but you'll pay me monthly tribute. Do I make myself clear?"
Cao Zhida held Zuo Wugang back. "Master Zuo, don't fall for his trick! This guy is a pure hoodlum!"
Zuo Wugang had roamed the underworld for years; had he never seen a rogue before?
Brushing Cao Zhida aside, he prepared to strike.
Zhen Jincheng stepped up to dissuade him as well. "Master Zuo, it's not worth getting worked up over trash like this. Let's just mind our own business."
"Bollocks! Those bodies are lying right at our doorstep, claiming our food poisoned them! How are we supposed to do business?" Shoving Zhen Jincheng away, Zuo Wugang planted a kick straight into Tan Jinxiao.
Zuo Wugang had already attained Layer Seven of the Grounded realm. That kick carried real force; against an ordinary person, it would have been fatal.
Hundred Hands Lian cautioned, "Master Zuo, go easy! I asked Juanzi—the constables in Three-Headed Fork actually enforce the law!"
Juanzi had warned them that constables here were unlike those elsewhere: they cared about what happened outside the door, not inside. If Zuo Wugang killed someone inside the restaurant, nobody would blink; killing someone in the open street was a different matter entirely.
Tan Jinxiao lifted his head. "What's wrong? Got cold feet? Scared of killing me?"
Zuo Wugang sneered. "Don't worry, I'll spare your miserable life!"
*Bang!*
Zuo Wugang drove kick after kick into him, ten solid blows in a row. Tan Jinxiao didn't make a sound. Rolling over, he offered his back for more.
"Come on! Kick your dear old daddy! Don't hold back!"
Zuo Wugang was genuinely taken aback. *How can this fellow's bones be so hard?* Whenever he dealt with hooligans in the past, a couple of punches and kicks were more than enough to make them grovel.
He hammered ten more kicks into the man's back. Tan Jinxiao remained completely silent.
"So, was that enough?" Tan Jinxiao scrambled to his feet. "Folks, you all saw it! How do we settle this now?"
The crowd had swelled, and Zuo Wugang couldn't simply go back on his word. Yet this business had been entrusted to him by Seventh Master; he couldn't let it slip away.
"Your name is Tan Jinxiao, right?" Zuo Wugang scoffed. "Old Tan, I didn't hurt you today, but I sure as hell don't accept your victory."
"Don't accept it? Simple enough! Stand right there and let me hit you twenty times!" Tan Jinxiao shook out his legs.
Zhen Jincheng stepped in front of Zuo Wugang. "I'll take those twenty hits in place of Master Zuo."
Zuo Wugang shoved Zhen Jincheng aside. "Get out of the way! I don't need your help."
Hundred Hands Lian urged, "Master Zuo, I already sent someone to fetch Seventh Master. We've hit a thorny patch—let's stall him here first."
While they were arguing, the onlookers buzzed with chatter, mocking Zuo Wugang for having no spine.
Tan Jinxiao ran out of patience. "Stop squabbling! Take it together!"
He hacked up a cough and spat out a mouthful of green phlegm.
The clump swelled in midair, engulfing Zuo Wugang and his men.
Struggling with all his might, Zuo Wugang forced his head out of the slimy mess, shouting in horror, "You're a bloody Phlegm Cultivator?!"
Tan Jinxiao grinned. "Indeed! Why else would everyone call me Old Phlegm? And let me tell you, that was just the opening act. Plenty more special tricks are waiting for you."
*Old Tan... Old Phlegm...*
Zuo Wugang shuddered. "Tan Jinxiao isn't your real name?"
Tan Jinxiao chuckled. "Didn't I say so earlier? The brothers on the road call me Tan Jinxiao—it's my street moniker!"
Hundred Hands Lian asked, "Then what does the 'Jinxiao' stand for?"
Tan Jinxiao laughed. "Still don't get it? Jin is just gold!"
Zuo Wugang caught a whiff of an unfamiliar, pungent stench.
Zhen Jincheng and Cao Zhida turned pale as ghosts.
*This man is a Phlegm Cultivator and a Gold Cultivator!*
Tan Jinxiao added, "As for that 'xiao,' you ought to understand that too."
Cao Zhida stared in disbelief. "There's such a thing as a Smile Cultivator? You've opened three paths?!"
Zuo Wugang barked, "Shut your mouths! Whatever you do, don't laugh! If you laugh, it'll get right into your mouths!"
Within the emerald-green slime, a pool of golden-yellow liquid surfaced.
The phlegm bubbled, releasing a reeking stench so foul that the surrounding crowd couldn't bear it and scattered in every direction.
Tan Jinxiao leaned in right before their faces, beaming broadly. "Take a good look, boys! This is called gold wrapped in green, an affinity deeper than the sea! Meeting like this is destiny. Come on, boys, give me a little laugh! Come on, laugh for me!"
His voice was ridiculously comic, and leaning right into their faces, he cracked joke after joke without stopping.
"I say, boys, don't hold back! You only live once—laugh if you want to laugh! Why not enjoy yourselves?"
"Pfft... pfft... pffft-hahaha!"
Chapter 641