Tier two?
A tier-two Dwelling Cultivator?
Didn't acquiring a single tier of cultivation take ten years?
He had only stepped onto the path two months ago, and he was already a tier-two Dwelling Cultivator?
He almost forgot—a Dwelling Cultivator's advancement in tier was tied to their dwelling spirit. According to Luo Yuni, if a Dwelling Cultivator couldn't please their dwelling spirit, they wouldn't advance no matter how many years they cultivated.
This had led Li Banfeng to misunderstand, assuming that dwelling spirits could only hinder advancement.
Yet he hadn't expected that a dwelling spirit also had ways to spur advancement, though the sheer scale of the boost made it hard for Li Banfeng to believe it was real.
Ten years of time!
Li Banfeng had been a Dwelling Cultivator for less than a month, yet in the blink of an eye, he had gained what took others ten years of cultivation?
This was impossible!
Li Banfeng craved cultivation. He had even harbored the extravagant hope of reaching tier ten and gaining triple the lifespan.
Yet there was no such thing as a free gift in this world; every gift had its price.
Just as elixir pills could replace cultivation, but pills were expensive, and every elixir pill was toxic.
Li Banfeng didn't beat around the bush and asked the gramophone directly, "You gave me tier-two cultivation. What do you want me to do?"
*Chhh—*
The gramophone sang in an aggrieved tone, "We are husband and wife, so deeply in love. Why must my husband speak such unpleasant words?"
Li Banfeng curled his lip. "When you turned on me earlier, where did all that love go?"
*Chhh, chhh—*
The gramophone snorted twice. "Oh, Husband, I don't care to hear such talk. What husband and wife don't bicker? Quarrels at the head of the bed are settled at the foot. Your humble servant merely threw a little tantrum. Husband may beat me or scold me, but you must not hold a grudge~"
Li Banfeng climbed up from the floor and dusted himself off. "Fine, I won't hold a grudge. What do you actually want? Speak plainly."
"Husband, your humble servant only wants you. Other than that, I ask for nothing."
"Out with it. What do you want?"
"Your humble servant is wholly devoted to you. How can you turn a blind eye?"
"Hurry up and say it. What do you want?"
The gramophone began to weep. "How can my humble servant's boundless devotion not earn even a sliver of Husband's true heart?"
Li Banfeng put on his fedora. "If you still won't say it, I'm leaving."
The gramophone stopped crying. "Husband, I'm hungry."
Li Banfeng sat back down on the bed and rubbed his cheeks, speechless for a long time.
His precious darling wife.
She was hungry again.
Back in the deep mountain forest, Li Banfeng had summoned a horde of dead souls controlled by Luo Yuni. The gramophone had devoured them and elevated Li Banfeng to tier one.
Over this period, Li Banfeng had found plenty of fresh souls for the gramophone, and had even fed her fifteen ghost servants who possessed cultivation. Having gorged herself to her heart's content, the gramophone had granted Li Banfeng another tier of cultivation.
She had eaten her fill and enjoyed it, but what was he supposed to do from now on?
Where was he supposed to find souls so easily?
"Darling, when is your appetite going to end? Didn't you just eat yesterday?"
*Chhh—*
The gramophone sneered, "Oh, Husband, what kind of reasoning is that? If you had a meal yesterday, does that mean you won't eat today?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "As a matter of fact, I really haven't eaten today."
"Husband must be hungry too. Go have your meal quickly. Once you're done, hurry and buy groceries, then come back early."
"Groceries, groceries! Are they really that easy to buy? Feeding you dead souls every day like groceries—do you take me for some homicidal pervert?"
*Chhh—*
*Clatter, clang—*
The gramophone scoffed repeatedly. "Husband, as if you've killed few people?"
Li Banfeng snapped, "Even so, I'm no pervert! Now that I've reached tier two, I should have a technique, right?"
"There is indeed a technique. Listen closely as your servant explains it in detail, in de-detail, in detail~"
Li Banfeng blinked in surprise. "Darling, why are you stuttering?"
"Husband, add a little more machine oil to your humble servant."
Li Banfeng fetched the oil can and opened the housing cover, only to see the water tank boiling and steam churning out, puff after puff, in an endless plume.
The gramophone could do anything: clean the room, wash clothes, kill people... The only thing she couldn't do was add machine oil to herself.
"Darling, you can add fuel to yourself. Why can't you add machine oil?"
The gramophone answered, "Fuel is added through the front cabinet, which your servant can reach. Machine oil goes into the rear compartment, where your servant cannot reach."
Li Banfeng was struck by a realization.
So there was a difference between the front cabinet and the rear compartment.
*Chhh—*
The gramophone gasped:
"Husband, that's not where the oil goes!
Husband, you mustn't fiddle with that water valve!
Husband, be even more careful with that gear! Husband, that screw doesn't need oiling!
Oh, Husband~
Oh, Husband~"
The gramophone called out again and again.
Li Banfeng closed the cover, sat down beside the gramophone, and said quietly, "Darling, hurry and tell me the technique. I'm listening attentively."
Seeing Li Banfeng's solemn expression, the gramophone asked, "Oh, Husband, so serious again?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "I've always been quite serious."
"Oh, Husband, are you refreshed now?"
Li Banfeng nodded.
"Refreshed after just a few words?"
Li Banfeng nodded.
The gramophone fell silent for a long while. Striking a slow tempo, she sang softly, "Husband, do your clothes need washing?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "Naturally, they do."
"Huuu-yah—you crazy bastard!" Smoke billowed from all three horn bells at once as the gramophone roared in fury. "Next time something like this happens, can you take it out beforehand? Every single time it's a huge mess! Do you have any idea how exhausting washing clothes is?!"
Li Banfeng changed into fresh clothes, sat down beside the gramophone, and said, "Darling, tell me about the technique. I'll lend an ear."
"Stay back! Don't get so close, or I'll have to wash another pair." The gramophone forced Li Banfeng back with a jet of steam, then began explaining the technique:
"The tier-two technique is called Perceiving Spiritual Voices. It is a cultivation of the ears."
Another cultivation of the ears?
Li Banfeng picked up the gold earring refined from Zhou Yujuan and asked, "Isn't this already Clairaudience? I've learned another ear-based technique—isn't that redundant?"
"Oh, Husband, it is by no means redundant. Clairaudience allows Husband to hear from afar, while Perceiving Spiritual Voices allows Husband to hear more. There are many spiritual objects in this world, and all spiritual objects can speak. Ordinary mortals simply cannot understand them. As long as Husband focuses his mind and listens with his heart, you will be able to hear the voices of spiritual objects."
Li Banfeng liked this skill very much.
This skill suited the disposition of a shut-in.
A shut-in could always hear more sounds than others: the whimpers of figurines, the laments of manga books—because a shut-in took a much more serious attitude toward life.
Li Banfeng pressed his ear against the gramophone and listened carefully.
*Chhh, chhh—*
The gramophone grew a bit flustered.
"Now, now, Husband, what are you listening against my belly for? Could I possibly be carrying a child for you or something?"
"Where's the spiritual voice?" Li Banfeng held the gramophone and listened for quite a while, but didn't hear any spiritual voice.
*Chhh, chhh—*
The gramophone chuckled mockingly. "Husband, your humble servant can already speak with you. You have no need to use a technique to listen."
True enough. There was no need to listen on the gramophone's end.
What other spiritual objects were there?
Li Banfeng picked up the bronze lotus and listened intently for quite a while, but didn't hear a sound either.
"Darling, does this not count as a spiritual object either?"
*Chhh, chhh—* The gramophone let out a sigh.
"That slut Red Lotus is indeed a spiritual object, but her tier is too high, and her temperament is rather bashful. Husband cannot yet understand her spiritual voice."
The bronze lotus's tier was too high as well?
What else had spirituality?
Did the Portable Abode possess spirituality?
Li Banfeng pressed himself against the wall, focused his mind, and listened intently.
The gramophone cried out in alarm, "Husband, don't!"
*Whoosh—pant, pant—*
What was that sound?
*Wuuuum—*
Li Banfeng heard a low, drawn-out drone, and with his eyes rolling back, he collapsed to the floor.
"This dwelling truly is extraordinary. No wonder that slut Red Lotus is so terribly cautious that she didn't even have the guts to wage an all-out battle against me. Entering this place in a muddle behind this madman back then was perhaps a bit reckless." A layer of condensation formed over the gramophone, resembling beads of sweat.
P.S.: I picked up my external hard drive packed with precious files, and I could hear her talking to me.
Dear readers, give it a try yourselves—you really can hear it!
Chapter 83