Yaxiu walked along East Lake for quite a while without finding anything. Just as he was about to head back, he caught sight of a small garden adjacent to the library, where three black-clad sorcerers stood guard at the entrance to the lawn. Two of them were Gold rank and one was Sanctuary rank—an excessively lavish arrangement for mere bodyguards.
His interest piqued, Yaxiu leapt up and landed atop a tall lamppost nearby. From his vantage point, he spotted two blond beauties seated inside a small gazebo within the garden, one of whom was indeed Felix.
Sitting across from her was none other than one of the five prominent, high-ranking nobles of the Starry Kingdom, a swordsmanship genius who had once rivaled Sonia, and Felix's only living blood relative—
Dimi Vosloda.
"...This time, I was able to make the Throne Room overlook your presence, but if you continue operating with them, even I won't be able to cover for you any longer." Dimi's voice was laden with exhaustion and helplessness, and the look he gave his younger sister held a faint trace of pleading.
He wore a blue robe over silver armor. Though ornate, it could hardly conceal its nature as combat gear—whether chosen out of safety concerns or to display his uncompromising resolve, it was hard to say.
"Didn't you boast that you would become the most just and kind noble?" Felix showed no appreciation for his goodwill, retorting coldly, "Now that you've inherited the title, have you immediately learned the noble art of playing favorites and covering up crimes? The corrupting effect of power truly exceeds my imagination."
Dimi fell silent for a moment, then rubbed his temples. "If you've been bewitched..."
"No, it was entirely of my own free will. I willingly follow Miss Lena in defying the starry sky," Felix said. "Though of course you'll claim that this alone proves I've been bewitched. In short, my will isn't allowed to be my own; I must conform to your wishes. As expected of that man's seed—you love arranging other people's destinies. What's next? Marrying me off?"
"Within a month, the Aristocratic Code will come into effect again." Dimi ignored her provocation and spoke with solemn gravity. "This is my last chance to help you... Once I receive the blessing of the stars and formally inherit the Star-Forging ducal title, the will of the state will override everything. The enemies of the stars will be the enemies of Vosloda.
"Since our first ancestor, Vosloda has been the sharpest sword of the Starry Kingdom and its most devoted shield—an unbroken succession, destined to extinguish only when the stars themselves burn out." Dimi lifted his steaming cup of red tea, gazing at his reflection on the liquid's surface. "I will be no exception."
"Congratulations." Felix folded her arms across her chest, speaking with detached indifference. "Next time we meet, you can try using my severed head to prove your loyalty. But let me remind you, I am now a Sanctuary sorcerer as well. Slaying a Duke of Vosloda with my own hands has always been a dream of mine."
Dimi set down his teacup and drew a deep breath. "Following them, what is it you truly want? Power? Dreams? Or camaraderie?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"Because I know you don't even know what you want yourself!"
Dimi slammed his hand heavily against the marble table, sending cracks spidering across its surface, unable to contain his anger any longer. Felix froze in shock—in all these years, this was the first time she had ever seen her brother lose his temper.
"You only joined the Four Pillar Cult to rebel against the stars because you detest Vosloda, detest the nobility, and were seduced by the likes of Daedalose! You don't believe in the doctrines of the Four Pillar Cult at all. You just want to vent the grievances and rage you've accumulated since childhood. You want revenge against this world, against this country. You want Father to beg for your forgiveness... Just like a child running away from home, hoping the adults will reflect on their mistakes!
"But Father is gone," Dimi said, covering his face with his right hand, a faint sob suppressed in his voice. "You'll never get his apology... and neither will I.
"Felix, that's enough of this tantrum. Come home.
"I won't interfere in your life. You can do whatever you wish. I will become the Duke of Vosloda and dedicate myself entirely to the stars. You won't have to shoulder any of Vosloda's responsibilities; you need only enjoy Vosloda's glory... Unless the stars fall, I will safeguard your peace and happiness for life."
Felix stared at him blankly, as if stunned that her brother could speak such words.
After a long silence, she averted her gaze, the sharp edge of obstinacy quietly melting from her face. Resting her cheek against her left hand, she murmured softly, "Only now do you finally put on the airs of an older brother?"
"If you hate me—"
"No, I don't hate you." Felix shook her head gently. "You are the most perfect elder brother I've ever seen... though I haven't seen many... But I know you are good. You've always cared for me, protected me, and strived to mediate with Beverly. If not for you, I might have died long ago. How could I hate you?
"I'm merely distancing myself from you," she said. "Because you are the most perfect elder brother, yet not an elder brother to me."
Dimi stared at her in a daze, seemingly unable to grasp her meaning.
"You strive to be a perfect heir, a perfect son, a perfect brother, a perfect student, a perfect noble," Felix said. "You pursue perfection in everything, even your relationships. Because you are a perfect son, you could never take ruthless measures to stop your own mother, even when she sent assassins after me again and again. Because you are a perfect brother, you couldn't bring yourself to kill me, a bastard child, and could only do your best to protect me."
"Mother, she—"
"No, Dimi, believe me, I don't mean to reproach you." Felix shook her head. "Beverly only moved against me for your sake. How could I be angry at a son for not rebelling against his mother's goodwill? I just think you're... too much like Father."
Dimi went completely still, unsure whether it was because of Felix's assessment or because, for the first time in years, Felix had called him 'Father' instead of 'that man.'
"You always believe there is a perfect balance in this world, a perfect solution where opposing sides with conflicting interests can coexist," Felix said. "Father was wrong, and because of that, Beverly became a selfish, vicious mother, while you and I became the sacrifices.
"Now you think that I can coexist with Beverly because you're the duke now—because you have the power to suppress Beverly's faction and give me freedom... That's what you think, isn't it?"
Dimi looked somewhat lost. "Can't we?"
"Father also believed that once he became the duke, he could have both a wife and a mistress," Felix said. "The result was that my mother never stepped foot across the threshold of the Vosloda estate in her entire life, because Father believed keeping the wife at home and the mistress outside was the balance.
"By then, Father was no longer in love. He was merely running away. He couldn't face the conflict and arguments that would erupt if they were brought together.
"When love is tainted with evasion, nothing remains but the calculation of interests."
Felix looked at her brother. "Dimi, you have never loved anyone whole-heartedly—neither your mother nor me... That isn't to say you should turn against one for the sake of the other, but rather that what you pursue has never been for both of us to be genuinely content, but rather a balance where both of us 'bear a certain amount of grievance.'"
Dimi shook his head. "But there are grudges between you two, conflicting interests. You hate my mother to the bone, and she feels the same about you... You both wish the other would vanish this instant. It's impossible for everyone to be satisfied... Only by both sides yielding a step can there be an outcome that is good for everyone."
"You haven't even tried, yet you immediately declare it impossible—because your love, too, is tainted with evasion, filled with calculation," Felix said. "You merely want to maintain relationships at the minimal cost, even if that cost is the grievance of the ones you love."
"Just like with Father, if he had let our mothers live together, they would have hated and fought each other incessantly! The result would inevitably have been a lifetime of misery and resentment for everyone!" Dimi couldn't help standing up to argue. "Wasn't keeping them apart the better choice?"
Felix looked at him quietly, saying nothing. Dimi also realized he had grown agitated. He sat back down, holding his forehead, and asked bitterly, "So... you're not coming home?"
"In my view, there are two kinds of scumbags."
Felix downed her red tea in one gulp, stood up, and said, "One is like Father—love mingled with evasion, rationally devising a plan where everyone barely coexists.
"The other kind loves each and every one whole-heartedly, emotionally fantasizing that they can find a possibility where everyone is happy together.
"The former is wisdom, it is politics. The latter will most likely result in mutual torment until mutual destruction—yet it might also give birth to a miracle.
"Though I still don't know what I truly want," Felix said, turning to leave, "what I am searching for is definitely not the former kind of love.
"Dimi, that is your home, not mine.
"Goodbye, Brother."
She walked straight out of the garden. The guards at the entrance moved to stop her, but seeing Dimi shake his head, they let her leave. Only after walking some distance did she hear a farewell carried on the chilling wind:
"Goodbye, Sister."
*
Felix opened her miracle bracelet and only then noticed the communication notification Sonia had sent earlier. Although they were all using miracle bracelets registered under other people's identities, there was no guarantee Dimi wasn't monitoring communications in the area. Not daring to call back, she quickened her pace to return.
Just as she rounded a corner, a can of soda was tossed toward her. Felix caught it instinctively, only to see a cult leader sitting on the roadside steps.
She reflexively glanced back behind her. Yaxiu pulled open the tab of his own can with a hiss, gulped down a huge mouthful, and let out a satisfied sigh before saying, "No one followed you."
Hearing him say that, Felix naturally felt relieved. After a moment's thought, she sat down beside him, though she didn't drink her soda, nor did she speak.
Once Yaxiu was nearly finished with his drink, Felix finally couldn't help asking, "Don't you have anything to say?"
"Huh?" Yaxiu blinked, thought for a moment, and said, "Today, I toured Sword Flower with the Sword Princess, went ice skating on the frozen East Lake, met her roommates, and just held hands with her. What a wonderful day."
Felix burst into laughter. "What kind of primary school essay is that? Even the feelings are so childish."
"Still," she added thoughtfully, "hearing you show off your relationship with the Sword Princess... feels kind of nostalgic."
Yaxiu muttered, "It's not like I show off all that often..."
"Were you eavesdropping?" Felix demanded bluntly.
"The wind carried a few sounds over. It doesn't count as eavesdropping."
"Then you really don't have anything to say?"
"Nope."
"Don't you find my reasons very... arbitrary?"
"I have three friends," Yaxiu held up three fingers. "The first wants to be the best hospice care worker and corpse artist; the second wants to slaughter every wicked person in the world; the third, like you, is searching for the meaning of life, though unlike you, he goes around scamming people everywhere.
"Compared to them, you can already be considered the rather docile type."
Felix gave him a couple of looks and snorted. "And what about you? Are you trying to build a harem made entirely of demigod sorcerers?"
Yaxiu's face darkened. "I didn't even criticize you, so why are you returning kindness with malice?"
"You only took the Sword Princess out on a date today; the Witch and the others were furious, you know." Felix raised an eyebrow and asked, "Have you figured out how to compensate them when you get back?"
"Well, that..."
"Haven't you noticed how displeased they are with Miss Lena? Miss Lena's beauty is on par with theirs, she's willing to devote herself to you at any moment, she looks identical to the Princess of Resplendent Fireflies, and she's a feeler of the Four Pillar Gods—dangerously captivating in every sense. Even though you repeatedly insist you have no ulterior motives, they can't help thinking you harbor hidden intentions."
"I just haven't figured out how to handle her yet," Yaxiu said, somewhat depressed. "I can't let her go, and I don't want to kill her, so I can only keep her along for now."
"The key isn't Miss Lena, it's you," Felix said. "They have zero sense of security around you. No one knows if you'll suddenly fall in love with someone else—and not just casually playing around either... Suddenly falling for another woman, and even risking your life for her—who could stand that?
"They're subtly ganging up against the Sword Princess—have you thought about how to solve that?
"The Witch keeps clamoring to go to Gospel—have you thought about what to do about that?
"Everyone thinks you've been constantly peeping on us in the bath—is that true?"
"No!" Yaxiu, who had curled in on himself under the verbal barrage, snapped his head up immediately. "Demigods have extremely sharp gaze perception! If I peeked, I'd definitely be caught!"
"What is this experience that sounds like you've actually peeked before..."
Felix gave him a look of utter disdain. Resting her chin on her hand, she said, "In any case, take care of your own messes first, scumbag."
"Did I remember wrong?" Yaxiu looked at her. "I seem to recall you used to address us respectfully as Observer Seat, Sword Seat, and Witch Seat."
"I'm in a bad mood today. Can't I take a break?"
"Huh?" Yaxiu blinked. "You just gave the Duke of Vosloda a fierce chewing out, cast aside the Vosloda family name, and completely severed your ties with the past. Shouldn't you feel refreshed and invigorated? Why are you still in a bad mood?"
Felix hugged her knees. "You're so annoying. How on earth did you manage to dupe so many girls?"
Yaxiu smiled softly and said, "Even though the Sword Princess made up her mind long ago, when the time came to say goodbye, she still couldn't bear to let go. Saying goodbye to the past isn't that easy. Whether you loved it or hated it, that was your life. Without that past, there would be no present you. How could you just bundle it up and throw it all away so easily?
"There are always some people and some things you have to reconcile with, because without them, your life wouldn't even exist to speak of. But the manner of reconciliation is for us to decide. To borrow the Sword Princess's words: 'It only counts as an apology if you're as sad as I am.'"
Yaxiu could tell that Felix didn't truly hate her brother. Even though her words had been harsh, the mere fact that she had been willing to speak with Dimi showed her stance; she knew clearly who was genuinely good to her.
She simply didn't want to accept Dimi's arrangements, even well-intentioned ones... because she had already been subjected to too many "it's for your own good" arrangements. She wanted to leave Vosloda, leave Jialesi. If defying the starry sky had been out of rebellion, then this time, she merely wanted to take control of her own life.
Felix fell silent for a moment, then slowly looked up at him and sighed helplessly.
"Has anyone ever told you that your comforting skills are terrible?"
"...Yes."
"And you even quoted your lover, insisting on citing the source... What are you doing, writing an academic paper? Doing that makes me feel like you're just showing off your romance."
"I-Is that so?" Yaxiu blinked. "I didn't think of that at all!"
"That's why I called you a scumbag..." Felix shook the can in her hand. "Never mind that you bought an iced drink to comfort someone, but it's even a soda. Couldn't you at least buy a bottle of liquor?"
"Aren't you going to drive, though?"
Felix gave him a look reserved for idiots. "I'm about to become a fugitive on the run with you, and you care about me drunk driving?"
She curled her lip. "I'm a Sanctuary sorcerer, and a Poison Sanctuary at that. As long as I don't want to get drunk, I can drink the strongest liquor like water.
"Besides... my alcohol tolerance has always been great," Felix shot him a glance. "Didn't you know?"
"How would I know..." Yaxiu scratched his head and stood up. "Fine, I'll go buy you some. But I'll drive later—"
Just as Yaxiu turned around, he felt a soft weight resting against his back. A thread of longing gently hooked into his soul, like the tiny paw of a kitten tugging at the corner of his clothes.
"Don't turn around.
"Don't look back.
"I don't need comfort from someone like you.
"I don't have a home anymore..."
Around the other corner, Sonia leaned against the icy wall, holding a cup of milk tea that was no longer warm. Dusk had fallen, but the streetlights had yet to turn on. At the junction of shadow and darkness, the red-haired girl bit down on her straw, the shadows around her resembling a venomous, frenzied beast.
Chapter 1043