Because You Want to Protect Yourself

"I'm afraid?" Freya instinctively countered, "Didn't you just say I looked very happy?" "Happiness and fear can coexist," Adela said. "At the gambling dens, I've seen plenty of people like that during card showdowns. They're dealt a fantastic hand, so they're thrilled and overjoyed at the thought of winning, but at the same time, they dread that their opponent might hold an even better hand. That lingering apprehension and fear never leaves them. "Happiness stems from what you already possess; fear stems from the fact that your opponent can strip it away at any moment. Freya, who are you gambling with, and what's the game? "This lecture is boring anyway. Rather than finding a psychotherapist to talk to, you'd be better off talking to me. Besides, I won't charge you a copper." Freya hesitated. "Generally speaking, if someone needs therapy, they're supposed to find a psychotherapist with zero connection to their personal life..." "True." Adela rested her chin in her palm, gazing at Freya's lovely face. "You're clearly so radiant with joy, yet your eyes are screaming 'help me' with every glance. I honestly can't just sit by and do nothing." Freya gently stroked her cheek, momentarily lost in thought. Adela did not press her, waiting quietly at her side. The sunlight today was pleasant, and the professor's lecturing drone was downright soporific. In such tranquil daily life, Freya had become strikingly out of place. She radiated an aura of happiness unlike anything Adela had ever witnessed before. Even when Adela saw a hopeless gambler stage a miraculous turnaround at the tables, clearing all his gambling debts and dodging the fate of being dragged off to be remodeled into a mechanical miner for the rest of his life, that man had not been as happy as Freya was now. Even when students were admitted into graduate studies at the Red Mist Research Institute, they had not looked as lighthearted as Freya. Even successful entrepreneurs, sorcerers, professors, and scholars had never appeared so deeply at ease. It was truly... dazzlingly glaring. It even sparked a faint disgust in Adela, rising to the point of nausea. After a long silence, Freya finally spoke up. "I know a Veela..." "Pfft—ahahaha! Sure, go on." Adela could barely hold back her laughter. Freya shot Adela an indignant glare before continuing, "Recently, due to some special circumstances, she met a man..." Because she had signed a Contract, Freya could not reveal Yaxiu's identity, his appearance, or the fact that he was living in her apartment. However, she could still disclose details once they were sufficiently blurred. For instance, spending their nights together could be described as staying overnight at an inn; having dinner together every evening could be described as Freya going over to Yaxiu's place to eat; Freya scaring Yaxiu so badly that he dared not get into bed... Piece by piece, after recounting the past few days together, Freya finally laid bare the inexplicable emotion swirling in her heart. "Right now, I feel both fondness and revulsion toward him. I want to be close to him, yet I want to stay far away from him. I even feel like I might be sick..." "Isn't that easy to understand?" Adela smiled. "The Veela has fallen in love with him." "No, absolutely not." Freya shook her head. "It's not as if I haven't loved before. Love is drawing near, embracing, greed, demanding—how could it involve disgust or pushing away?" Adela said, "Love comes in many forms, or rather, love serves many purposes. The kind of love you're used to, Freya, is born merely of appearance, burning hot only to satisfy desire. When you encounter a better-looking vessel, your affection shifts along with it. To you, that kind of love is replaceable. "What that man brings to the Veela, however, is not a fleeting spark of desire, but the joy of mutual understanding, daily companionship, and a resonance of souls. In the past and the future, you may encounter countless prettier vessels, but an intriguing soul? Perhaps this is the only one. "That is precisely why the Veela feels revulsion toward this love and even tries to pull away—he is irreplaceable. Worse still, he has gradually woven himself into the Veela's life, seeping into the marrow like poison that no remedy can purge. "What a wicked man he is. He invited the Veela into his life, and so his footsteps invaded hers; he wants to understand the Veela, so the Veela finds herself wanting to understand him; he relies on the Veela, so the Veela comes to rely on him. "Perhaps only a man who has completely discarded his self-respect, discarded his independent life, and discarded his privacy would do something like that. Anyone who received even the most basic moral education at the rearing institute wouldn't stoop to something so vile." Adela shook her head. "To think there's still a man so shameless in this day and age, and he even managed to bewitch a Veela. The Veela really drew the short straw." Freya listened in a daze, asking instinctively, "Then what should I do?" "Follow your instincts: loathe him, stay away from him," Adela said softly. "If this goes on, you'll only sink deeper into this ever-thickening affection until you're no longer yourself. When that day comes, what binds you won't just be the man—it will be every bit of your past that you invested in him. "You've heard it countless times in the rearing institute, haven't you? 'Any relationship that causes you worry will pollute you.' 'Any relationship that brings you grievance will harm you.' 'Any relationship that forces you to change will dominate you.' Everything that man is doing is polluting you, harming you, and dominating you." Adela grasped Freya's hand. "We didn't undergo so much education just to lose ourselves. We were born for ourselves, and for ourselves alone. There's no room left to accommodate anyone else. "Do you remember the core spirit of the Consanguinity Prohibition Act?" Freya murmured, "It's... personal freedom..." "Yes, personal freedom. Because after blood ties were prohibited, families ceased to exist, and familial affection and romantic love lost their foundational ground. Everyone severed all societal shackles, and only then could true personal freedom be achieved. "Perhaps he matters a great deal to you right now, but that's merely a temporary illusion. Next year, next month, tomorrow, or even the very next second, you might have a new thought, fall for someone new, and want to live a new life. "This isn't just for your sake, but for his as well. After all, humans are far more fickle than Veelas. "Think about it: what if he suddenly has a change of heart and chooses to walk away on his own? How would you feel?" Thinking of the mere few days left on their 'shelf life,' Freya suddenly felt suffocated. With great effort, she squeezed out, "...It would hurt." "You've barely known him, and it already hurts. If you knew him for months or years, would you twist yourself and fawn over him just to keep him around? "You foresaw that possibility yourself. You're worried about that exact future, which is why you feel so unsettled, and why you want to stay away from him. "Because you want to protect yourself. You know that even though he looks like cotton candy right now, you're terrified of getting pricked." Watching Freya's increasingly miserable expression, Adela leaned in and whispered softly in her ear, "We don't need irreplaceable love."