Oops, I'm So Clumsy

"Hey, is the air all right back there? The air up front is certainly fresh and clear—after all, I'm the only one in the first three rows. Still, that's not necessarily a bad thing. If students were bursting with passion for a history class recounting the past, I'd actually have to start worrying about the future of the Starry Country... But if you don't spare at least a little thought for the past, you'll need to start worrying about your future grades." "Turn to page 173 of your textbooks. In the year 871, Court Prime Minister Bledo Usgair drafted the Nobility Act and became the first new noble to be granted the Blessing of the Stars by Her Majesty the Empress. As for the contents of the Nobility Act..." The history professor was not a stiff, pedantic old scholar. On the contrary, he was a rather witty and stylish old gentleman. However, even a strong personal style could not salvage boring lecture material. Unless the professor fired off a few jokes about dukes or anecdotes about ministers, the atmosphere in the lecture hall perpetually lingered somewhere between a drowsy vapor and a dazed, sluggish stupor. For Sonia, the sole benefit of attending class was having the time to slowly untangle the tangled threads in her mind. This was a habit she had developed only after entering university; her other extracurricular hours were packed so full that any discretionary time was poured entirely into investing in herself. More importantly, Jialesi was no home to her. If she stayed alone in an empty place, she was easily crushed by the weight of aimless pressure, spiraling into self-pity and sorrowful brooding. Ever since she had secretly cried under her bedcovers once, the country girl had forced herself to stay in other people's sight as much as possible, refusing to let herself slink off into a corner like a beaten dog to lick her wounds. Tears that could not win sympathy or affection from others were entirely worthless. Therefore, the only places left for her to zone out and contemplate life were these dull general education classes. Since she could easily pass them just by cramming before finals anyway, class time could be spent entirely on weighing gains and losses. Who had offended her, who had designs on her, who she needed to flatter, who she needed to target... A general education lecture happened to be a large class, so Sonia could scan the room and lock onto her targets. Recently, however, Sonia had added another recreational activity: patrolling the student forum during class to see if any rattled noble students were discussing her. If there were, she would execute them on the spot, then observe the reactions of the surrounding students. She had actually caught several classmates who acted meek and timid offline, murmuring, "Greetings, Top Student," while unleashing heavy blows online, calling her a "country bumpkin" with every breath. When she was in a good mood, Sonia would walk over after class, pat the person on the shoulder, and call out their forum handle, inflicting a massive burst of psychological damage. When she was in a bad mood, she would secretly investigate their background, pretend to be a prophecy sorcerer on the forum, accurately detail their personal circumstances, and then prophesy that they were "destined to get cheated on," that their "family is doomed to decline," or that "the skincare products you use will definitely ruin your face," inflicting sustained psychological damage. Either way was immensely entertaining. Once Adele found out about this game, she eagerly enlisted as a "lecture police officer." Anyone who dared not pay attention in class and instead mocked the Sword Princess on the forum had better prepare for righteous policing! So when Adele saw Sonia suddenly flip open a notebook and begin writing, her expression alternating between nervous, smiling, and angry, Adele assumed she must have hooked a huge fish. She wondered who was lucky enough to be the Paw Stretching Club president's venting toy today. With that thought, Adele leaned in, hoping to catch a glimpse of the dirt Sonia was recording. Yet Sonia, who had been unfocused all day, was suddenly as sharp as a mother wolf guarding her food, snapping the notebook shut in an instant. So greedy with her secret? Adele averted her gaze and pretended to study the Nobility Act intently, but her mind was entirely on Sonia's notebook. Because just a moment ago, she had caught a glimpse of a single line: *"Let's go, let's get back together, repeat our mistakes, and torment each other."* The sheer scumbag vibe between the lines was as shameless and brazen as the fountain at the school gate! Adele felt certain Sonia had caught some scumbag by the collar and was stretching out her paws to toy with her prey. In truth, Adele was not wrong; Sonia was indeed doing something along those lines. After finally digesting the shame of her amnesia, Sonia had immediately recognized a problem: with the Watcher's personality, he would definitely latch onto this and never let it go. He would remember every single thing she had said while amnesiac, blurt it out during combat to distract her and throw her into peril, and then step forward to heroically save her... The mere thought of such a scenario filled the country girl with mingled shame and fury. To avoid falling into that predicament, Sonia had to seize leverage over the Watcher as well, achieving "amnesia deterrence" so neither of them would dare bring up what had happened during their memory loss! Thus, Sonia spent the better part of an hour writing down every sentence the Watcher had uttered while amnesiac, even compiling them into lists: *The Ten Most Affectionate Sentences*, *The Five Famous Sayings of Cheating*, and *Shameless Statements Where One Sentence Outweighed Ten Thousand*. *Watcher, are your ammunition reserves still sufficient?!* Sonia could even picture the scene: just as the Watcher was about to mock her, she would clear her throat and leisurely retort: *"Or to put it in another way that is even more direct, leaves zero room for ambiguity, and completely bares one's heart—the current me..."* *Thud!* The history professor adjusted his glasses. Sonia, her face flushed red right to her ears, casually pointed at the cracked desktop she had just pounded. "Mosquito." The old professor sighed in relief. "Scared the life out of me. I thought my lecturing was so dreadful that a student smashed a desk in fury." After class ended, Sonia satisfiedly put away her notebook. Just as she was about to leave, she suddenly remembered something and said to Lois and Adele, "Right, I died in the Void Realm again. I accidentally fell into a Domain of Stillness and died. Oops, I'm so clumsy." Watching Sonia tap her own head in an exaggeratedly cute manner, her roommates began to wonder if they had misheard "I'm in love" as "I died in the Void Realm." Otherwise, it was truly hard to explain why her face was glowing with such vibrant delight. They understood what Sonia meant, though—spread the word: our great top student, the red-haired Sword Princess, has actually died twice in the Void Realm within a single month! This would naturally hand the Anti-Sword Princess Alliance an exceptional target, but that was precisely what Sonia wanted. The Anti-Sword Princess Alliance was already utterly routed on the forum; anyone daring to mock Sonia would be swarmed and flamed into oblivion. If things kept going like this, the noble students who despised her would likely wave the white flag and fall silent—after all, their ancestors were not bought in wholesale batches to be dragged through the mud. However, Sonia's song maiden album was coming out soon, and right now was when she needed publicity and buzz the most. Organic buzz like the Anti-Sword Princess Alliance had to be utilized; she needed to toss out bait every now and then to keep their passion alive. Sonia already foresaw that once her album dropped, it would inevitably ignite countless flame wars, driving sales straight through the roof. Sonia was not worried that such a "scandal" would hurt her reputation either. After all, once bystanders learned that Sonia had died twice in the Void Realm in a month, they would also quickly learn that she had risen from a sorcerer apprentice to a Two-Winged Sorcerer within a single month. This was also the promotional strategy of the Paw Stretching Club (the supporters had unanimously approved the name after seeing the photo taken by Adele): a genius need not advertise her genius, only her flaws. Use flaws to draw the bystanders' eyes, and let them discover the Sword Princess's genius on their own. Adele watched Sonia skip and bounce out of the classroom, sighing, "She was completely out of it before class, but after class she looks like she just ate a strawberry sundae, radiating the sweet scent of happy whipped cream... Women are so hard to understand." "She looks..." Lois said uncertainly, "doesn't she look a bit like she's in love?" "Be that as it may, the only people she usually interacts with are us," Adele mused. "And I've stood naked in front of her before without her showing the slightest urge. Clearly, she doesn't have any special desires toward women..." "So there's only one conclusion." Lois looked at Adele. Adele looked at Lois's chest. "I had my suspicions before," Adele said solemnly. "Lois, are you actually a guy?" Lois did not say a word, merely staring at her calmly. Only then did Adele realize her joke had gone a bit too far. Mimicking Sonia, she tapped her own head cutely. "Heh, just kidding." "Adele..." "I'm now a high-and-mighty manager of the Paw Stretching Club. Speak nicely, don't bully me." "Even if I were a man," Lois said, her gaze filled with a chilling breeze, "I wouldn't choose you as my lover." Adele blinked, her eyes growing moist. Her heart plunged, tumbling down without end. "And here I was thinking that if I were a man, I'd marry you, Lois... Don't talk to me ever again!" Watching Adele turn and run away in tears, Lois remained expressionless. "I think there's a pop quiz in the next Water Sorcery Department course..." Adele's footsteps abruptly halted. Lois strode forward, and Adele followed meekly behind with a wronged expression, her eyes glaring at Lois's rear as if cursing it to shrink quickly too. Suddenly, Lois came to a halt, and Adele slammed straight into her. "What is it?" Not just Lois—other students had stopped in the corridor as well, looking out through the window at the sky with bewildered expressions. Adele looked up. Reflected in her pupils was the shadow of the stars.