I Want This Daddy Too

From the moment the Book of Gospel popped out on its own, Igola had begun pondering how to pacify an enraged Annan. After all, as far as he could see, it was a foregone conclusion that the Funeral Agency would come away completely empty-handed from this second leaderboard. The subject of this second leaderboard's assessment was "Love and Family." Among the four of them, Lisi didn't even qualify to enter the examination hall. Harvey couldn't get a single question right beyond writing his own name correctly. And Igola himself, ever since meeting that examiner on day one who had nearly caused his downfall, had skipped class and dodged homework every single day; his participation score was guaranteed to be a solid zero. The only one left with even a sliver of hope was Yaxiu. It truly wasn't that Igola looked down on him, but no matter how one looked at Yaxiu, he gave off the exact vibe of: *The test was a great experience! Taking part is what matters most; better luck next time!* Although Igola hadn't interacted with Yaxiu over the past few days, as a mind sorcerer, he had no need for close contact to grasp a person's mental state. A cursory observation was more than enough. And judging by Yaxiu’s gaze, scent, tone of voice, walking pace, and every other detail, Igola deduced that he was most likely still a virgin—which was, frankly speaking, utterly terrifying. From their very first meeting to this day, Igola had firmly believed that Yaxiu was a rightfully accused cult leader precisely because of this. For a grown mortal human male in his twenties to still exhibit the behavioral traits of a virgin—the Swindler had turned the matter over and over in his head and concluded that it could only be for religious reasons, and of the especially vile, extreme, antisocial cult variety at that. In the Blood Moon, there was no abnormality greater than "having no sex life." Four examinees: one disqualified, one who evaded every correct answer, one who skipped class and abandoned the test, and one textbook slacker. Igola felt exhausted on Annan’s behalf. Fairly speaking, this exam was remarkably easy. "Love and Family" wasn't some high-difficulty subject; normal people made love and fell in love naturally. Not to mention Annan had even brought them to Fanmula, where the family reincarnation dreamscapes were essentially hormonal steam baths. If you threw an aloof, icy cat-type in there, you’d pull out a sweet, passionate dog-type. Annan must have thought the second leaderboard was in the bag. Unfortunately, every single one of them was a fair distance away from being a normal human being. Yet the moment the Future Board was promulgated, Igola knew that none of the excuses he had prepared would be needed. Not that it changed much—they were still almost certainly going to face a furious Annan. "Family Leaderboard Rank 10: Mist Spirit Clan · Sennheiser" "Family Leaderboard Rank 9: Mech Spirit Clan · Aldo" "Family Leaderboard Rank 8: Spirit-Absorbing Clan · Vastino" "Spirit-Absorbing Clan: A new undead unit type transformed primarily from members of the Vastino clan. Generally possesses basic traits such as [Life Drain], [Memory Consumption], and [Enfeebling Gaze]." "Family Leaderboard Rank 7: Shadow Spirit Clan · Mercury" "Shadow Spirit Clan: A new undead unit type transformed primarily from members of the Mercury clan. Generally possesses basic traits such as [Shadow Lurking], [Shadow Binding], and [Shadow Materialization]." ... "Family Leaderboard Rank 3: Nether Knight Clan · Roland" "Nether Knight Clan: A new undead unit type transformed primarily from members of the Roland clan and nightmare steeds. Generally possesses basic traits such as [Summon Nightmare Steed], [Direct Death Slay], [Terror Aura], and [Life Plunder]." ... "Family Leaderboard Rank 2: Dracolich Clan · Kasri" "Dracolich Clan: A new undead unit type transformed primarily from members of the Kasri clan and glyph dragons. Generally possesses basic traits such as [Dracolich Transformation], [Dracolich Cloak], [Aging Breath], and [Dread Aura]." How to put it? While it was true, just as Igola had predicted, that not a single one of them had made the leaderboard... from another perspective, one could say they had swept the entire board... Because in the visual records of the reward items for every single family, Yaxiu Heath had made an appearance! "Mercury, hunt down those who have fallen into darkness." "Roland, prepare to draw a line of blood for me." "Kasri, cleanse this world." Domineering presence practically leaking out of the frame! Wicked, arrogant, and unbridled! Utterly matchless! Lisi, who had been sitting in Yaxiu's arms watching the rankings, looked up, pointed at the projection from the Book of Gospel, and said, "Daddy, I want this daddy." "I want this daddy too," Yaxiu said. Annan asked, "Yaxiu, do you happen to have a Legendary Sorcerer father, a Legendary Sorcerer elder brother, or a Legendary Sorcerer mother who went missing years ago without a trace?" "Young Lady, we people of the Blood Moon are all orphans. But I'll gladly accept your blessing anyway." "Do you think I'm joking?" Annan slammed her fist hard against the wall, then casually blew on her knuckles as she said, "If you actually made the rankings, that would be one thing. But why do you keep showing up in the leaderboard's profiles when you don't even have a single rank to your name?!" "I want to know too!" Yaxiu spread his hands helplessly. "I'm the one being exploited for free by the Gospel here! I don't get a single share of the rewards, so why do I have to show up every time? I'm not a racist, I don't abuse animals, and I didn't run scalper bots to buy up tickets. Did it really have to frame me like this?" Annan beckoned to him. "Come here." Yaxiu obediently walked over, only to be instantly locked in a chokehold by Annan. The Purple Moth sneered coldly. "Never mind everything else for now. Why did you make Qinna and Nona call you Master? Speak! Deep down, do you want my mother and aunt to be your private maidservants?!" "Cough, cough... Young Lady, hear me out! Let me make my defense!" Yaxiu struggled desperately, signaling Lisi for help. His dear daughter caught his drift and promptly rushed over to pin down his legs, barking like a fierce little puppy, "Quick, confess! Daddy, do you want to find me two stepmoms?!" *Damn it, I should have wrapped you in a Front Lotus and driven you headfirst into the pavement back then!* "The Gospel is framing me! Don't you all trust my character?" "The Gospel doesn't frame anyone; it only deduces," Annan said. "You must have had intimate contact with Qinna in private, which is why the Gospel deduced this!" Lisi chimed in, "I believe in Daddy's character, so Daddy definitely did something bad!" "Please put yourselves in my shoes! If I really had the hots for the Young Lady's mother and aunt, would I ever admit it?" Yaxiu explained to them earnestly. Igola blinked as he listened. Wait a minute... that doesn't even qualify as an excuse anymore; how is that any different from confessing?! Just then, Harvey suddenly clapped his hands, drawing everyone's attention. "I understand why the Gospel wove it this way and made Qinna and the others acknowledge Yaxiu as their master!" Annan asked, "Why?" "Because when we were chatting casually a few days ago, we brought you up, Annan." "I am me, and Qinna is Qinna." The Purple Moth tightened her grip around Yaxiu's neck, making his eyes roll back. "It's not me calling him Master in the projection!" "It goes like this. Back then, Yaxiu said you don't pay money or award points, you give very few benefits yet make endless demands, and you're practically prime material for a streetlamp. Then he added a sentence related to your mother." The necromancer pondered for a moment. "That sentence went something like—"