Don't Touch Me

Two days passed, and Yaxiu found no dirt on Belldete whatsoever. It wasn't because the Evalin sisters were squeaky clean, but primarily because their task list had suddenly filled up with plenty of high-paying jobs specifically requesting them. The hourly rate reached an astounding 10 Bell points, and slugging away for ten hours a day yielded 100 Bell points; just a few days of work would let them redeem themselves and climb ashore, escaping this fiery pit. This, right here, was capital alienating humanity. Yaxiu wiped the statue with venomous vigor while delightfully checking his savings. At dinnertime, Yaxiu noticed Igola eating with Harvey this evening, without the red-haired angel Anfiel by his side. Over the past two days, Igola had always dined with Anfiel, specifically picking two-seater tables. Unless Yaxiu was willing to drag over a highchair and sit right beside them, there was no way he could squeeze into their couple's booth. Seizing the opportunity, Yaxiu promptly carried his tray over and sat beside the Swindler. "Yo, Igola, how'd you fall off so hard tonight that you've sunk to eating with Harvey?" The dark-skinned necromancer glanced at Yaxiu. "...You're just in time, Yaxiu. We were just talking about you." "Talking about me how?" "Discussing your future," Harvey said. "In the future, I'll be Mengfeila's chief medical examiner. Igola will be the mayor's secretary of Mengfeila. You'll be Mengfeila's unemployed single dad leeching off his daughter while collecting welfare. We'll all have bright futures." "While I don't really mind collecting welfare, I'm not a member of the Blood Saint clan. Why would I suck Lisi's blood?" "Don't you think Lisi has great potential as a child star?" "Hmm..." Yaxiu mused. "Lisi really does have a knack for acting. Going by the Gospel's philosophy of tailoring education to individual talent, letting her get into acting wouldn't be a bad idea. But I wouldn't leech off my daughter. Every cent she earns, I'll help her invest in opening shops, and when she grows up, I'll hand a whole pile of businesses back to her!" "Oh~" Igola nodded. "In other words, you plan to bleed Lisi dry. Not even the Blood Saint clan is that ruthless." "I said I'd invest and run businesses with it!" "For a guy who managed to run a cult into the ground, saying your investment eye and management skills are at zero is already defrauding the shareholders." "Anyway, why are you two discussing livelihoods in Mengfeila?" Yaxiu asked. "Shouldn't it be Igola staying behind while the two of us leave?" "How are you two going to leave?" Igola asked. "Have you scraped together enough Bell points to buy out your contracts?" "We haven't, but don't we still have you?" Yaxiu slung an arm chummily around Igola's shoulder. "Once you marry Anfiel and take the reins of a massive conglomerate, I won't even ask you to funnel benefits to me. But waiving our contracts shouldn't be an issue, right?" Igola glanced at Yaxiu's arm draped over his shoulder, brushed it off lightly, and said in a measured tone, "Leaving aside the fact that once I become a Belldete, you two will turn from 'useful taunt-minions' into 'sheep ripe for shearing' in my eyes—even if, by some bizarre stroke of madness, I suddenly felt like doing good deeds, a contract is a contract. Unless one party breaches it, the contract cannot be dissolved." "What?!" Yaxiu gasped in shock. "I thought you'd definitely help us out—damn it, I couldn't resist buying some of Evalin's merchandise today. What am I going to do if Annan and the others ask about my savings!?" "Serves you right," Harvey said. "I managed to hold back even when Evalin brought out a flawless human skeleton." "For questions like that, you'd be better off consulting Lisi," Igola said. "Your IQs are in the same ballpark, so she ought to be able to offer you sound advice." "Wait, Igola, once you rise to greatness, you'll definitely give the boys a hand, won't you?" Yaxiu said. "We're prison buddies who shared life and death!" "Who tried to kill each other the second after breaking out of prison, again?" "Comrades-in-arms who repeatedly forged glory!" "Do you really need to brag so much about escaping Gerard's sword twice?" "And friends who understand each other's worth!" "You understand each other's worth?" Igola pointed impassively at the necromancer. "In any case!" Yaxiu steered the topic back. "Brother Igola, you mustn't forget to look out for your little bro!" "Based on what?" "Based on the favor between us!" "Whoa," Harvey said in surprise. "Yaxiu, you actually kept an ace like that up your sleeve!" "That's right!" Yaxiu threw his chest out and chuckled. "Back in the day at Shattered Lake, to get Igola to join my magnificent jailbreak plan, he and I signed a wish contract with each other, and I used up my wish to force him to plot and strategize for me. So... "Please let me owe you another wish!" "So you're the one who owes Igola a wish..." Harvey curled his lip. "I'm done eating. Take your time, you two." Igola paid Yaxiu no mind at all, picking up his tray to leave. "Igola, wait—" Smack! Igola violently slapped away Yaxiu's reaching hand. Looking down on him from above, he said calmly: "Don't touch me." ...... ... "That's how it went," Harvey said. "I told Alice, and even Alice felt embarrassed for Yaxiu." Inside Yaxiu's bedroom, the members of the Funeral Agency had gathered once again. "Aunt Bogin actually treated Papa like that!" Lisi pouted in righteous indignation. "Don't cry, Papa, we won't play with Aunt Bogin anymore!" "Stay still," Yaxiu said, keeping Lisi in front of the vanity table as he meticulously dried the moisture from her hair. "Is Mr. Bogin really such an impatient person?" Banjie mused. "He hasn't even officially joined Belldete, yet he's already so eager to cut ties with you and Mr. Harvey?" "A moment of success breeds reckless arrogance," Annan said with a shrug. "Though you could also say he's very smart. After all, you two are purely negative assets. Interacting with you offers him zero benefit. Rather than continuing to pile sunk costs on you, it's better to short your relationship early." "Yaxiu, do you regret not sabotaging their date with us the night before last?" Annan turned to look at Yaxiu. "Suffering the backlash now, aren't you?" There was no particular displeasure on Yaxiu's face. He said slowly, "I just feel like Igola is acting strange..." "What's strange about it?" Annan rested her chin in her hand and smiled. "Bogin is climbing ashore this time, so naturally he doesn't need old colleagues like us still stuck out at sea. In this world, anything can betray you. Even sorcery spirits might slip away in secret, let alone a swindler." "Is it just my imagination?" Yaxiu suddenly remarked. "I feel like you don't really care about Igola jumping ship, Annan." "Who says so? I care very much, alright?" Annan said. "I was even wondering whether I should use the honey trap." "You? A honey trap?" Everyone froze, and then Yaxiu immediately shook his head. "No, no, absolutely not!" "Why not?" Annan blinked, the corners of her lips curling up as she looked at him. "Because you'd lose for sure!" "Why would I lose? I'm ranked in the top ten of the Azula Beauty Board, at least. Could I really not compare to that dead dwarf's little sister?" "Yes, you certainly possess beauty on par with Anfiel," Yaxiu said, spreading his hands. "The problem is, your soul is ugly." While Annan lunged forward to tussle with Yaxiu, the necromancer spoke slowly: "The Swindler is indeed acting strange." Banjie asked, "Why?" "A swindler doesn't take the initiative to sever communication with others; that doesn't fit his habits," Harvey said. "Just as no matter how much I despise my enemy, I wouldn't refuse to process his corpse." "Could it be that Aunt Bogin feels he doesn't have to put up with you anymore, so he completely revealed his true colors?" Lisi guessed. "Hasn't Aunt Bogin always said that chatting with Uncle Harvey is basically like sleeping in a coffin?" "Hmm...?" Harvey asked, puzzled. "But... isn't that a flattering compliment?" Lisi looked at Yaxiu in the mirror and suddenly asked, "Papa, do you think Aunt Bogin really abandoned us?" "It's not like what I think changes anything..." Yaxiu combed and blow-dried Lisi's hair. "Rain will fall, mothers will remarry, everyone gets married and I'm still single..." "Then what do you really think?" Lisi hesitated a moment before deciding to say what the White Queen had told her to say: "I think Aunt Bogin won't abandon us." If there was anyone in the Funeral Agency who understood Igola best, it wasn't Annan, nor was it Yaxiu, but the White Queen, who had once negotiated with him. "Why do you think so?" The Purple Moth chuckled nearby. "Just because he braids your hair so nicely?" Lisi ignored this ill-intentioned aunt and looked earnestly at Yaxiu in the mirror. "He values you all far more than you think." Yaxiu lowered his gaze. "I actually don't care whether Igola abandons us or not." Under everyone's stunned gazes, Yaxiu spoke slowly: "By now, I've seen three forms of Igola. The first is the swindler who talks sweet and honeyed words; that form means he wants to swindle something out of you. The second is the swindler who deliberately puts you down; that form means he wants to make use of you. "And the third is the one I just saw: the swindler keeping us a thousand miles away." Lisi asked, "What does that mean?" "I don't know," Yaxiu said. "I only see that he's acting alone, and that he's forcing himself." A silence fell over the room. Annan said, "So you still trust him even now? You're just squandering your trust like that?" "No." Yaxiu slowly shook his head. "Trust, of course, must be placed in someone who deserves it." ...... ... After the others went back to rest, Lisi still lingered in bed, refusing to leave. Ever since coming to Belldete, Lisi had grown increasingly clingy. But Yaxiu figured it was understandable—a strange environment combined with daily labor made it natural for her to act spoiled. Besides, he would be entering the Void Realm soon anyway, so he let her be. "Could you not put your feet on my stomach tonight?" "Then Papa holds me to sleep!" Lisi raised her hands excitedly. Yaxiu thought that was doable. Given Lisi's astonishing sleeping positions, she would smoothly roll away on her own in less than an hour, so it probably wouldn't leave his arm numb. He let her pillow her head on his arm and snuggle into his chest, then opened the Sorcerer Manual to initiate "Void Realm Exploration." As his consciousness connected to the Void Realm, Yaxiu slowly opened his eyes—only to find that he was holding the Witch in his arms. Diya opened her eyes and realized that she was actually sitting on top of the Watcher! She looked up and immediately saw the Watcher's blurry face of swirling mist! "Wah!" Both cried out and scrambled apart, simultaneously looking back—the Sword Princess was sitting in the back seat of the sports car, taking in the full sight of their contact! "Sword Princess, that was just an accident from entering the Void Realm—" Diya hurriedly explained in a panic. "It really had nothing to do with me! Even if someone's at fault, it's the Watcher's fault—" "We've reached the Star Hall region tonight, haven't we?" The Sword Princess seemed not to care at all about what they had just been doing. She said calmly, "Don't waste time. Quickly plan the optimal route according to the map to gather resources. Our time is tight tonight." Yaxiu and Diya blinked, then nodded hastily. Diya sat down gingerly beside the Sword Princess, but the Sword Princess seemed to have no interest in her whatsoever, keeping her eyes fixed on the reverse golden rain outside. Soon, Yaxiu drove to a gemstone mine resource point guarded by an Overlord Ragecleaver Dragon and a pack of cynocephalic dragons. While this was a monster pack capable of wiping out the vast majority of sorcerers, for the three of them—even without equipping troops—wiping them out and raiding their den was as easy as turning over a hand. After a glorious victory, Yaxiu and the others first gathered the gemstone materials suitable for their sorcery spirits. Yaxiu found a 'Sharp Gem,' the ideal feed for swordsmanship sorcery spirits, and walked over to the Sword Princess: "Sword Princess, you—" Smack! Sonia moved with lightning speed, striking before his movement finished, slapping away the hand Yaxiu was reaching toward her shoulder. Her eyes widened as she stared at him, and she said calmly: "Don't touch me."