The Confused Shopping Book

As Yaxiu, Sonia, and Diya sat in the sports car exchanging bewildered glances while being pursued from behind by the vast host of the Heroic Spirit Legion, they couldn't help but wonder: how in the world did things come to this? Half an hour earlier, Yaxiu had spotted a golden zone labeled "Don't Miss Out as You Pass By" via the Void Realm Map. When they ventured inside to take a look, they found a small cafe, with three books and three cups of coffee laid out on the table according to their headcount. Yaxiu had initially thought it was "Destiny Q&A," but opening the book revealed that wasn't the case. Instead, it was an even more love-it-or-hate-it Void Realm mechanism—the "Confused Shopping Book of Blessings and Curses"! "Congratulations to every sorcerer who opens this book! Your luck is peerless, your destiny is about to change, you are the light, you are the electricity, you are the future myth!" "This book was compiled by 'Dramatic Poet'.... Please remember this name, for ... is the narrator of fate, the master of contradiction's authority, the director of countless joys and sorrows, and the witness to all the world's partings and joinings." "The hundreds of millions of sorcerers across the Void Realm cannot compare to even half of ...!" "This book requires adherence to the following shopping rules: "1. Every blessing and curse comes with a price. For every blessing purchased, you must endure a random curse of equivalent value, and vice versa. Equivalent exchange, after all. "2. Blessings and curses personally selected by a sorcerer do not cancel each other out. You can eat shit and shit rice, or eat rice and shit, but eating rice and shit together will not cancel out excretion. "3. Random curses persist only during Void Realm excursions and will not affect reality; random blessings persist only during reality and will not affect the Void Realm. "4. Upon opening this book, at least one blessing or curse must be purchased, but there is no upper limit on shopping. Don't miss out as you pass by, right? "5. As a sales tax, this book will extract the sorcerer's life experiences to generate new blessings and curses. There are only two unavoidable things in life: eating and paying taxes. "Please note: do not assume you can exploit loopholes to counter the curses by simply picking all the most powerful blessings. You might step out the door and immediately be afflicted with the curse 'Thinking Causes Petrification,' turning into a statue on the spot. If you pick the blessing 'Immunity to Petrification,' the curse might mutate into 'Thinking Turns You into a Lalafell.' In short, if anyone tries to take advantage of me, I will slaughter their entire family. "However, do not be overly afraid. 'Dramatic Poet' ... is no villain; this is a perk for the junior generation! Therefore, for sorcerers opening this book for the first time: if your curse points are ≤ 10, your random curse will conclude with this Void Realm exploration; if your blessing points are ≤ 10, your purchased curse will conclude within 72 hours in reality." It's you again, nameless Dramatic Poet big bro! This was the only strange sorcerer Yaxiu and the others currently knew of who was capable of leaving special mechanisms behind in the Void Realm. The "Legendary Library" Yaxiu and Diya had encountered previously had also been his handiwork; unfortunately, Sonia had submitted an absence note that evening and hadn't shown up. Later, when Yaxiu asked if the Time Continent had many special mechanisms left behind by Legendary Sorcerers, the village girl had shaken her head emphatically, saying that the Dramatic Poet was indeed the only sorcerer who had left mechanisms on the Time Continent. While the Dramatic Poet was undeniably formidable, his truly remarkable feat lay in being able to return to the Time Continent. After all, sorcerers capable of influencing the Void Realm were at least Legendary Sorcerers to begin with, or even demigod angels and governing gods. Yet it was exceptionally difficult for such powerful beings to return to the Void Realm's lower beginner zones. This was also a protective mechanism of the Void Realm; otherwise, if a powerhouse with a penchant for mowing down young sprouts ever appeared, they could single-handedly wipe out all the world's fledgling sorcerers. For the Dramatic Poet to leave so many mechanisms on the Time Continent demonstrated that he could enter and leave the second layer of the Void Realm almost freely, or at least at very low cost. Sorcerers were therefore exceedingly curious about what kind of sin the Dramatic Poet had committed to end up having even his name completely erased. However, the mechanisms he left behind were not entirely beneficial. Something like the "Confused Shopping Book of Blessings and Curses" fully exhibited his twisted sense of humor, making one sigh that keeping the Dramatic Poet alive would do nothing but waste grain. Yaxiu and the girls flipped open the shopping book to find a dazzling array of options: Physique: "Sudden Death at Any Moment +30, Frail and Delicate +10, Immunity to All Illnesses -10, Limb Regeneration -30" Wisdom: "Can't Come In from the Rain +30, Feebleminded and Sluggish +10, Clever and Sharp-Witted -10, Insight into Truth -30" Luck: "Choking to Death on Water +30, No Paper When Shitting +10, All Desires Fulfilled -10, Favored by Destiny -30" Charm: "Loathed by Gods and Ghosts +30, Air Polluter +10, Beloved by All -10, Calamity of Ten Thousand Races -30" These were merely the more conventional options targeting a sorcerer's various attributes. There were even more bizarre blessings and curses: "A Beautiful Life -10: In your eyes, everyone is beautiful, everything is good, every landscape is worth lingering for, and not a single day passes without joy." "Cynical and World-Weary +10: Even watching someone else breathe will make you feel the world is hopeless." "Hear Inner Thoughts -10: You can faintly hear the inner thoughts of others." "Honesty +10: If everyone in a place were honest, would that place be Heaven or Hell?" "Clairvoyant Fantasy -10: You cannot truly see through things, but you can indeed see what you wish to see." "Fatal Danger Sense -10: When facing danger, time will feel as though it is slowing down. The greater the danger, the more pronounced the time dilation." "Temporal Derangement +30: Your sense of time is completely scrambled. Today is the 3rd, tomorrow is the 9th, yesterday was the 21st, haha." "Foresee Death -30: You can see how you die." These blessings and curses, though strange, were at least comprehensible. Yet there were many more that left one with no idea how to categorize them: "Childhood Sweetheart -10: Within three days, a childhood friend will come looking for you. Their strength will be similar to yours, but your relationship is strictly friends." "Lover -30: Within three days, someone who perfectly matches your tastes will appear. Their strength will be similar to yours, and in this life and world, they will love only you." "Arch-Enemy +10: Within three days, a nemesis who despises you will appear. Their strength will be similar to yours, and they will rally everyone who hates you to conspire against you." "Chat Channel -30: You will join a chat channel created by the Dramatic Poet, allowing you to chat with its members anytime, anywhere." "Fishcleaver Dragon -10: Every time you enter the Void Realm, a Fishcleaver Dragon completely obedient to you will be at your side, ready to do your bidding." "Random Race +10: You will transform into another random race." "Beauties Don't Poop -10: All of your bodily waste is transferred to another person to dispose of." "What on earth is all this..." Yaxiu's head throbbed as he read. "If it's already transferring bodily waste, why not send it into a sewer instead of stuffing it into someone else's large intestine?!" Diya said, "Maybe excretion is a sign of respect for poop. Besides, Watcher, why do you care so much about that? Were you thinking of picking it?" "They say a person spends half an hour a day on excretion... If I could save that time..." Yaxiu mused. "But what do Childhood Sweetheart and Lover mean? If I choose Lover, will someone who loves me just materialize out of thin air?" "Or maybe Sword Princess descends right beside you," Diya mumbled under her breath. "What?" "I was saying, why hasn't Sword Princess said anything?" Diya looked over at Sonia, who was staring blankly at the shopping book like a village girl dazzled by jewels. "Sword Princess, did you notice something?" "Sincerity," Sonia murmured softly. "What?" "Sincerity!" Sonia looked up at Yaxiu. "The blessings and curses are just a facade! In essence, they're identical to the Sincerity Ritual!" Yaxiu paused slightly, then immediately realized what she meant. He examined the shopping book closely, leaving only Diya looking bewildered—what kind of encrypted communication was this shameless pair running now? The village girl also realized she had inadvertently displayed too intimate an attitude; openly, she couldn't appear too close to the Watcher. She leaned closer to the Witch and explained the Sincerity Ritual to her. The Sincerity Ritual was the summoning ritual Yaxiu had forced Sword Princess through back then so she could acquire the Sincerity sorcery spirit. During that period, Sword Princess could speak only the truth until the Sincerity sorcery spirit was summoned. When one thought about it, wasn't that identical to the "Honesty" curse in the shopping book? Following that logic, one could see that most of the blessings and curses appearing in the shopping book were actually summoning rituals for sorcery spirits! "Wait." Diya caught on at once. "Then Foresee Death, Temporal Derangement, and Hear Inner Thoughts—" "They are summoning rituals for sorcery spirits of the prophecy faction, time faction, and mind faction respectively," Yaxiu said. "A Beautiful Life and Cynical and World-Weary are likely related to the mind faction as well, while Clairvoyant Fantasy will most likely summon a scouting sorcery spirit... I see! The true purpose of the shopping book is to allow someone to rapidly grasp a sorcery faction!" "But what do Childhood Sweetheart, Lover, and Arch-Enemy mean?" "I can roughly guess Arch-Enemy," Sonia mused. "Your enemy will rally everyone who dislikes you... In other words, as long as you keep a close eye on your arch-enemy, you'll know exactly who holds a grudge against you." "Random Race is very useful," Diya piped up suddenly. "Why?" Yaxiu asked, puzzled. "I'm pretty happy being human." "If it were permanent, of course it wouldn't do, but if it lasts only 72 hours, it's equivalent to a rare trial," Sonia explained. "Aside from humans, other sapient races generally have sorcery factions they excel at, and certain special factions can't even be initiated into unless you belong to that designated race. For instance, the Gluttony faction exclusive to ogres—you might just be able to gain entry within those 72 hours." "However, the most important ones are still the three great factions: Prophecy, Destiny, and Truth," Diya said seriously. "It's virtually impossible to gain entry into these three factions on one's own; one must rely on all kinds of fortuitous encounters to be lucky enough to gain the Void Realm's favor... And right now, those opportunities are right before our eyes: Insight into Truth, Favored by Destiny, and Foresee Death." As long as one chose these blessings, they were guaranteed to master those most mysterious and formidable sorcery factions. "But they all cost thirty points," Yaxiu said, spreading his hands. "If we pick those, we won't trigger the Dramatic Poet's beginner perk." Buying blessings added "-" curse points, while buying curses added "+" blessing points. If it was a first-time purchase and the points were within ten, the Dramatic Poet would compress the curse's duration down to a single Void Realm exploration or seventy-two hours—a massive win for the sorcerers. However, if it exceeded ten points, the Dramatic Poet wouldn't help, and the curses bestowed by the shopping book would become permanent. That price was simply too steep—like choosing the wrong college major with no transfer allowed, condemning you to pour concrete on construction sites for the rest of your life. A curse like "Frail and Delicate" might still be manageable, but if it were a permanent "Random Race"... rolling a Veela might not be terrible, but rolling an ogre would genuinely warrant a life reset. Furthermore, Yaxiu was a man; there was a zero percent chance he'd roll a Veela—an elf was the best he could hope for. "Wait, why does Chat Channel also cost thirty curse points?" Diya asked, puzzled. "Could that be some rare sorcery spirit summoning ritual too?" "The chat channel itself is virtually worthless; the value lies in the people inside it," Yaxiu replied. "Who knows? Maybe gods, angels, and Legendary Sorcerers hold weekly gatherings in there to exchange intel and items?"