The visual projection for Rank 8 of the Happiness Board, 'The Happiest Wife,' had finished playing.
In short, Harvey made a major breakthrough in the necromancy faction and created a perfect necromantic wife. This wife completely understood Harvey's preferences, her mind was in sync with Harvey's rhythm, and she loved him with all her heart. Spending every day doing research alongside Harvey was her happiest time, and Harvey's progress was the wellspring of her joy. In this regard, she truly deserved the description of 'happiest.' After all, normal couples always had arguments and secrets, whereas the two of them fit together like perfectly interlocking puzzle pieces.
At first glance, it seemed quite logical.
Then Yaxiu made his usual entrance, bewitching the wife with just a few words and making her realize the immense potential she possessed as a necromantic creature. To better assist Harvey, she decided to become a sorcerer in her own right as a necromantic being, no longer content with being merely Harvey's subordinate!
At first glance, it seemed remarkably positive and uplifting.
Because she chose that second path, she was naturally no longer the happiest wife. The ranking became invalid, and the reward was voided.
To the vast majority of people, there was nothing wrong with this future: wasn't it completely normal for a necromancer to craft a necromantic bride matching all his personal fetishes? And for the Gospel leaderboard to grant the title of happiest wife to a necromantic being to look out for minority races—wasn't that very politically correct?
Yet to those who knew Harvey, this was utterly, mind-bogglingly absurd—if Harvey actually needed the sexual function of a corpse, he wouldn't have gone until now with Alice (♂) as his only necromantic creature!
Granted, Harvey did have someone he liked in the past, but those feelings had blossomed before he delved deeply into the necromancy faction. Like a cicada in summer, once you missed it, it was gone forever.
Even if someone fell in love with him again, there was no way Harvey, trapped in the freezing winter of necromancy, could ever embrace summer once more.
Therefore, Harvey only cared about utility when looking at anyone now, not sexual utility.
Yaxiu and Igola had plenty of say on this matter. Over the past few days, living in bunk beds with no private space, Harvey had plenty of time to observe them. He had already meticulously arranged all sorts of necromantic augmentations for them—ghoul augmentations for their hands, skeletal demon augmentations for their legs, lich augmentations for their hearts... Whenever he looked at people, it was genuinely no different from looking at butchered pork.
Besides, when all was said and done, a partner was meant for emotional comfort. But as a madman so formidable he didn't even need friends, why the hell would Harvey need emotional comfort? In the dead of night, he would never wallow in sentimental grief; he would only repeatedly plan out the scenario of his own death.
"Harvey," Yaxiu asked, "what do you think?"
"I can't rule out the possibility that something goes wrong with my brain in the future." Harvey remained thoroughly composed. "Who knows? Maybe seeing Igola get married will give me new ideas. At the end of the day, human emotions are merely effects driven by hormones, and reproduction is the number one priority of those hormones. There's nothing unusual about succumbing to biological instinct."
"But necromantic creatures can't reproduce..."
"Hmm?" Harvey looked at Yaxiu with a strange expression. "Isn't reproduction just the creation of a new, intelligent life?"
"So you still didn't..." As Yaxiu spoke, he suddenly followed Harvey's train of thought—in a certain sense, a necromancer truly did reproduce.
"So she is both your daughter and your wife?" Igola said flatly.
"Are you out of your mind, Igola?! I didn't even say it!" Yaxiu quickly covered Lisi's ears. "There's still a kid here. Mind the influence!"
Lisi pulled away from Yaxiu's hands. "Tell me more, Aunt Bogin! I want to hear!"
Yaxiu: "Σ(°△ °|||)︴?"
The subsequent Rank 7 was 'The Happiest Red Hat.' The lucky winner turned out to be an acquaintance they all recognized, Cleios. Before the broadcast could even finish listing her illustrious deeds, Yaxiu flashed into the scene. Just like before, Yaxiu effortlessly led Cleios astray, and Cleios seemed to turn into his devoted simp. Then came the invalidation of the ranking and the cancellation of the reward.
Rank 6 was 'The Happiest Merchant.' Evalin made a glorious appearance: character introduction, Yaxiu flashing into the scene, subduing her into a lapdog...
Rank 5...
Things grew increasingly absurd. Almost everyone who appeared had some connection to Yaxiu and the others. Yaxiu would unfailingly show up in the middle of each visual projection, employing various methods to steer the ranked individuals off their original courses, whereupon they would bow down and follow in Yaxiu's footsteps.
And most baffling of all, the unmarried women who appeared—including Cleios and Evalin—almost all showed an intense attachment to Yaxiu. Yaxiu genuinely began to suspect whether the Gospel leaderboard had misjudged his race—he was human, not a Veela!
What was supposed to be a proper 'Happiness Board' had devolved into Yaxiu's personal stamp-collecting tour, and the Gospel was practically turning into a matchmaking agency.
Lisi hung all over Yaxiu, pretending to critically pick out stepmothers, complaining that this one wasn't tall enough or that one wasn't gentle enough, speaking as if Yaxiu actually had any choice in the matter.
[Happiness Board, Rank 2: The Happiest Clan Head]
Seeing this title, even though Yaxiu had grown accustomed to the absurdity of the list, an ominous premonition still seized him.
[Profile: With the help of her younger sister, Nona Sennheiser, Qinna Sennheiser expanded and strengthened the family...]
Lisi keenly noticed Yaxiu's body suddenly stiffen and asked, "Daddy, why did you get so tense the moment you saw Sister Annan's mom?"
Hearing that, Annan glanced over.
"I didn't!" Yaxiu quickly shook his head. "I'm scared! Qinna is a Sanctuary Sorcerer who nearly captured us. Isn't it only natural that seeing her strikes fear into my heart?"
Lisi and Annan gave Yaxiu a suspicious look, then lowered their heads to continue watching the visual projection.
The footage began normally enough, depicting Qinna becoming clan head and expanding Sennheiser with Nona's support. But after the familiar flicker across the screen, 'Yaxiu' abruptly made his entrance.
["You!" Qinna instantly sprang to her feet, tense. "Why are you here?!"]
["Isn't it completely natural for me to be here?" Yaxiu walked up to Qinna. "Haven't you always wanted me to become a Sennheiser clansman? Now that I've come home, aren't you happy?"]
[As he spoke, he reached out toward Qinna, only to be slapped away by her hand. "Yaxiu, you are not welcome in Sennheiser. Get out of here right—"]
[Slap! Yaxiu pinned Qinna back onto the chair. Their faces drew exceedingly close, their noses practically touching.]
["How rude," Yaxiu said, gazing at her. "Your heart is beating so fast. Are you nervous?"]
["It's fear! I am afraid of you!" Qinna gritted her teeth and said, "How dare you, Yaxiu—"]
["You used the wrong title again." Yaxiu gently caressed Qinna's cheek. "What are you supposed to call me? Hmm?"]
[Qinna's face flushed crimson at once. A dignified Sanctuary Red Hat actually dared not resist. Instead, her stiffened body pressed back against the chair, her chest heaving continuously. Averting her gaze, she bit her lower lip and murmured, "M-Master..."]
["Good girl." Yaxiu leaned in and gently flicked his tongue across Qinna's cheek. Qinna's body instantly went soft, melting into the chair like water. Yaxiu effortlessly scooped Qinna up into his arms, then turned his head to look at Nona, who was blushing furiously beside them. "Nona, you come here too."]
[The next scene: a large bed.]
"Banjie, lend a hand."
"Right."
One covering her eyes and the other her ears, Yaxiu and Banjie instantly cut Lisi off from the world channel. Naturally, Lisi refused to cooperate, kicking up a fuss and thrashing about. "Why won't you let me see Daddy and Aunt Qinna?! Let me see, let me see! Did they kiss?"
Not quite.
After all, this was footage broadcast to the entire realm of Gospel, so the rating remained quite modest. Only Yaxiu was shown lying naked in bed beneath the covers, which immediately lifted a heavy weight off Yaxiu's chest...
Yet when he saw two bulges suddenly swell under the blanket, he felt as if that boulder had crashed right down onto his foot.
Qinna and Nona poked their heads out from either side of the blanket, snuggling up against Yaxiu left and right. The sweet, flushed glow on the elven sisters' faces showed they were thoroughly satisfied with him.
...
Inside the Sennheiser Building, a maid gasped sharply upon witnessing the scene.
"So it was true!"
"What they told me back then wasn't a single word off! I thought he was just bluffing... That man is actually, truly the clan head sisters'—"
"The clan head... The clan head can actually act spoiled! She even begged him, begged him not to... I wouldn't dare dream of something like this even in my wildest dreams!"
"Why hasn't Captain Nona said anything the whole time... Huh?" The maid zoomed in on the screen as much as possible. "The corner of Captain Nona's mouth... does that look like... a thread of drool...?"
...
[Happiness Board, Rank 2: The Happiest Clan Head]
[Profile: With the assistance of Nona Sennheiser, Qinna Sennheiser could have become the happiest clan head. Unfortunately, she encountered Yaxiu Heath and became his personal plaything. This ranking is invalid.]
[Reward: Voided]
[Culprit: Yaxiu Heath]
When Rank 2 of the Happiness Board ended, the room fell into sudden silence.
The atmosphere became so stifling that even the mind sorcerer didn't know what to say to warm up the room.
Lisi shot Yaxiu a resentful glare, then turned toward Annan. "Sister Annan..."
Although it was still an ordinary greeting, at this very moment, the address 'Sister Annan' seemed imbued with entirely new meaning.
Annan gave them an expressionless glance, then lowered her head and said, "Rank 1 has updated."
[Happiness Board, Rank 1: The Happiest Empress]
[Profile: ...]
Rank 1 didn't even have a profile; it cut directly to the visual footage. Moreover, this time the Book of Gospel didn't even bother pretending to set the scene, putting Yaxiu on screen right from the start.
[In a magnificent palace, Yaxiu lounged upon the highest throne. A young empress sat on his lap with her back to the camera, hiding her face, affectionately wrapping her arms around Yaxiu's neck like a favored concubine of a Calamity Demon Lord.]
The footage ended.
[Happiness Board, Rank 1: The Happiest Empress]
[Profile: Yaxiu Heath is present. Ranking invalid.]
[Reward: Voided]
[Culprit: Yaxiu Heath]
Yaxiu closed the Book of Gospel with a sigh of relief.
This was the most agonizing leaderboard he had ever sat through, because he had appeared as the villain from start to finish.
Unlike the Family Board, where he was at most a henchman while the mastermind was the necromancer Harvey, on this Happiness Board he had practically hogged the whole feast to himself, wrecking everything from the bottom rank all the way to the top and devouring virtually every blade of grass around his own nest.
If evil had a color, it certainly couldn't be more lewd than Yaxiu.
Seeing Lisi flip back to replay the Empress's footage, Yaxiu said, "Stop looking. That definitely isn't your stepmother. I don't even know her... Huh?"
Lisi grew flustered and hurriedly slammed the Book of Gospel shut. "Daddy, what are you surprised about?"
"Nothing. I just noticed that the Empress's posture was quite similar to yours," Yaxiu said.
Right now, Lisi was also sitting on his lap with one arm wrapped around his neck, indeed bearing several similarities to the footage of the Empress.
Lisi stiffened, but quickly acted nonchalant, resting her hands on her hips and laughing boisterously. "That's right, I'm the Empress! So Daddy, you have to listen to me and buy ice cream tomorrow!"
Yaxiu couldn't be bothered with her and turned to Annan and Igola. "Now that we've finished the leaderboard, can you explain what on earth happened with the Weaving Ceremony?"
Annan closed her Book of Gospel, pondering her words for a long moment.
"Do you know what 'Illusion Ex Machina' is? In ancient theater, whenever the plot required a major twist and called for a character like an angel to appear, illusionists would craft stage effects to have the angel abruptly descend onto the stage.
"Later in dramatic works, 'Illusion Ex Machina' became a catch-all term for far-fetched, forced plot developments that lacked any foreshadowing. For example, when a writer runs out of ideas on how to proceed, they might arrange for an angel to save everything, or summon a meteor to destroy everything."
Yaxiu asked thoughtfully, "So we're the angels?"
"No," Annan replied. "You are the meteor."
Chapter 429