Hello, I Am Lisdia

Yaxiu had not lost consciousness completely. It was a bizarre experience—to be honest, he suspected that the time he spent having "normal experiences" lately was probably less than the time spent on "bizarre experiences"—and though he couldn't move, couldn't speak, and couldn't do anything, he didn't feel uncomfortable in the least. He felt as though he were sitting in a cinema, watching a film that never ended, and naturally, he had no way to interfere with the plot. At that thought, he felt a bit of regret; he had assumed that after becoming Yayin, he would be able to use his authority to cancel the warrants on Annan and the others—perhaps by exploiting a time window or something. Yet no such loophole existed. The instant Yaxiu became Yayin, he also completely lost himself. Or rather, only when he had completely lost himself and stepped aside for Yayin to ascend could he gain divine authority. Divine authority had always belonged to Yayin; he couldn't even touch it. *I hope Annan and the others are all right...* Only now did Yaxiu understand the greatest difference between gods and sorcery spirits, as well as why mortals could not accommodate a god: gods possessed an intense self-awareness. In fact, sorcery spirits also possessed self-awareness. Back at Shattered Lake Prison, Yaxiu and the others could induce sorcery spirits to work for free through knowledge resonance, which in a sense was pleasing them. But compared to sorcery spirits, sorcerers were simply too powerful—so powerful that they didn't need to care at all about what the spirits thought, able to directly exploit their labor using sorcery power. The reason sorcerers could not accommodate a god was fundamentally that two intense personalities clashed and wore each other down, a struggle that could only end when one side was utterly shattered. In this process, however, the sorcerer was usually an egg, and the god a stone. The dynamic between a divine master and a god was also definitely not as simple as taking a god into one's soul. If sorcery spirits were probiotics and a sorcerer merely coexisted symbiotically with them, then a god was at least at the level of a cat or dog—and a very distinctive one at that. A divine master couldn't very well go around draped in cats and dogs every single day, could they? With this information, Yaxiu also understood why the First Gospel required "only the purest, most innocent, kindest, and most beautiful maiden"—the Gospel god was probably a god of that temperament. Finding a soul of matching temperament made merging into it far easier, like putting on tailor-made clothes. Although Yaxiu was not tailor-made—he was a terrible fit, in fact—his fabric was sturdy and could take a beating, so Gospel made do with him. At that thought, Yaxiu couldn't help but feel admiration for another person: How on earth did the future Harvey subdue a god? Even if he had already become a Legendary Sorcerer by then, a Legendary Sorcerer definitely couldn't accommodate a god either; otherwise, the First Gospel would simply have reserved the spot for whichever Legendary Sorcerer had freshly arrived on the scene. Generally speaking, the normal guess would be, "Harvey's compatibility with that god was exceptionally high, so he could barely tolerate the god's self-awareness, treating it like two brothers sharing a pair of underwear." However, to Yaxiu, whose relationship with Harvey was second only to Harvey's bond with Alice, he harbored a bolder guess: was the future Harvey's true body even human? If Harvey had transferred his consciousness beforehand into a corpse, an urn, a spirit tablet, or a soulstone, Yaxiu wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. That way, Harvey could naturally give up his soul for the god to reside in; after all, he didn't sleep there anyway—it was purely an office. Yet whether he was on such good terms with a god that they could live together, or gave his house over to the god while squeezing in with Alice, both meant that Harvey had left ordinary sorcerers far behind on the path of degeneracy. Yaxiu could neither transfer his consciousness nor share a pair of pants with the "purest, most innocent, kindest, and most beautiful maiden," so he had been kicked out with nothing to his name, left in this cinema to spend his final moments until he felt bored and drifted off to sleep. Yaxiu had assumed he would fall asleep quickly. However... In the cinema, there was someone else besides him. Behind him, three other people were also watching the film. What was more, they were terribly ill-mannered, chatting and discussing the plot as they watched, completely ruining Yaxiu's drowsiness. Although the voices sounded somewhat familiar, perhaps because he had lost the right to use his brain, Yaxiu still couldn't recall where he had heard them, unable even to commit their conversation to memory. Yaxiu could only name them "Apathy," "Wrath," and "Madness" based on the emotions leaking from their voices. Wrath: "If this goes on, he'll truly be reduced to a vessel for a god. Aren't you afraid?" Apathy: "What's the use of being afraid? This isn't part of my plan. Do you think I'm infallible, able to orchestrate his life without a flaw—snatching the most valuable treasures, winning the most loyal subordinates, sleeping with the most beautiful and adorable women, and creating miracle after miracle?" "I'm flattered, but I'm not the Dramatic Poet. I can't write such a satisfying script... I can't even predict his actions." Madness: "Huh? How is that possible? How could you not predict his actions? To you, isn't he just like a protagonist you wrote yourself?" Apathy: "Setting aside the fact that a protagonist's agency can naturally exceed the author's control... when you dig out a notebook from a dusty corner and find a novel you wrote only one chapter of decades ago, could you, decades later, still recall what you were thinking back then?" Wrath: "So what are you saying? We just stand by and watch his curtain fall?" Apathy: "In fact, we've already been doing that. If our luck is bad, there's nothing we can do... Why that refusing-to-accept expression? I believe I told you all that this is a reckless, dangerous gamble, not some breezy stroll down memory lane, right?" Wrath: "Sonia is still waiting for him. Sonia can't live without him." Madness: "Such an easy problem to solve. Why are you so troubled? Just let her die with him and be done with it. What, does she have no experience committing suicide? That's a failure of education." *Whoa, they're fighting, lots of banging and thumping,* Yaxiu thought. *Still, they're so damn noisy. Could they show some consideration for the other audience members? Someone's trying to sleep here.* Apathy: "Enough. If you like fighting so much, go back and fight all you want." Wrath: "Is there any point in going back? If his curtain falls, what reason do we have to exist?" Madness: "Idiot, he means the curtain hasn't fallen on this show yet." Wrath: "Little... trumpet..." Madness: "You're the only one who would panic. I knew all along who would come to save the day... Hmph, the person you should truly hit is him. Talking about 'not part of the plan' and 'bad luck,' acting as if he can only drift with the flow—yet he foresaw the outcome of everything long ago, because he experienced it once himself!" Apathy: "The relationship is completely different. I truly had no confidence." Madness: "How different can it be? Isn't it just Sister Fu being replaced with him? It's just that last time you used Sister Fu to bewitch me, whereas this time he personally charmed that foolish girl." Wrath: "The story of how you two met?" Madness: "'Met' is far too affectionate a word. Even calling it a feud doesn't do it justice. I'd rather call it the tragic tale of how our failure of judgment led to our demise. The fact that I later spared no expense traveling to another realm just to hunt him down should sufficiently demonstrate how truly unforgettable his immense kindness was. Nothing short of chopping him to pieces and feeding him to the Lalafells could extinguish the fury in our hearts." Apathy: "You flatter me. I shall continue to strive." Madness: "There's one thing I've never understood, though—how exactly did you seize the god inside my soul back then?" Apathy: "A blessing obtained from the Dramatic Poet. Through close physical contact, it could snatch a portion of the target's sorcery spirits... I didn't expect it to work on a god as well." Wrath: "So we just have to wait quietly? We don't have to do anything?" Apathy: "If you're interested, you could take this chance to brainwash him. Right now he's in a dazed, wandering state. One step further and his soul will scatter. It's the most vulnerable period, when he's easiest to warp. Anything you tell him now can leave a deep anchor in his consciousness, completely reshaping his personality." Wrath: "What do you mean?" Apathy: "Aren't you deeply invested in him and Sonia? Then whisper in his ear that in this lifetime, he will only ever love Sonia; that he won't even feel lust toward anyone else, but the mere scent of Sonia will make his blood race; that going a single day without seeing Sonia will plunge him into withdrawal symptoms... things like that." Wrath: "Are you mocking me?" Apathy: "If you insist on thinking so, there's nothing I can do." Wrath: "If that's really possible, why don't you brainwash him?" Apathy: "Whether out of selfishness or altruism, if you want to reshape his personality, at the very least you believe the altered version would be superior to his previous self, right? In other words, you want to mold a better Yaxiu." "But in my heart, I am the best. My personality, principles of action, composition of desire, willpower, and thought... my soul is perfect." Madness: "Whoa, the way this guy praises himself is utterly shameless!" Apathy: "Yet facts have proven that I am not perfect—perhaps even the very antithesis of perfection. Otherwise, I wouldn't have fallen to the point of ending up here with you." "Since that's the case, of course I won't exert any influence on him. Otherwise, it would just be a boring repetition of history. I want to see whether it was I who was mistaken, or this world." Wrath: "...Then why do you permit me to influence him?" Apathy: "Because I'm also curious to see what the 'perfect Yaxiu' looks like in your eyes." Madness: "Sounds fun! Let me do it—" Wrath: "Stay away from him!" *They're fighting again... They're so annoying...* Bored out of his mind, Yaxiu gazed at the screen, when suddenly he saw the Books of Gospel belonging to everyone in the banquet hall pop open. Apathy: "It seems the curtain hasn't fallen on this show after all." Madness: "She was actually charmed, even willing to go this far... So stupid, practically as stupid as us." Wrath: "No wonder you weren't worried at all... You calculated everything, yet feigned complete ignorance just to make a fool of me!" Apathy: "I merely thought it was a possibility. The one who truly calculates everything and constantly fools others is the Omniscient Weaver, not me." Wrath: "Wait, in that case, although Yaxiu dodged a bullet, what about—" Apathy: "Rest easy, the Omniscient Weaver foresaw everything long ago. That spider isn't satisfied with taking ninety-nine percent while the other side takes one; she wants to make two hundred percent while leaving the other side owing her one hundred." Madness: "..." Yaxiu could no longer hear the loud, pompous chatter of those ill-mannered people behind him. He only felt as if he were emerging from the enclosed cinema, and then light, air, scents... the entire world was eager to welcome him back. He was the protagonist of his own story once more. Like having drunk very strong liquor, Yaxiu was aware that a considerable amount of time had passed, but it felt as if that time didn't belong to him at all, leaving him with no idea what had happened. Amidst the crowd's gasps of shock, Yaxiu looked down at his Book of Gospel, only to find an unfamiliar name appearing within: "Gospel Board, First Place: Diyin." Di... yin? Wasn't it Yayin? Yaxiu suddenly realized he couldn't concentrate; his consciousness was unraveling. Although it hadn't been a complete takeover, when the god attempted to depart from his soul, it still imposed an overwhelming burden. Compounded by having experienced stealth, disguise, flight, and combat—the full gauntlet—tonight, his soul was already on the verge of collapse. Subjected to a god entering and exiting him like this, his eyes rolled back, and he fainted on the spot... *** He didn't know how much time had passed until a ray of sunlight pried open his eyelids, dancing across his lenses. Yaxiu let out a long-lost morning grumble and tried to shift positions to keep sleeping. However, when he tried to turn his body, he felt a weight upon him, as though something was pressing down on him. Opening his eyes, Yaxiu found himself still seated on the throne in the banquet hall, but the guests were nowhere to be seen. The hall was completely empty, save for a white-haired little girl lying across him, sound asleep. "Lisi!" Delighted, Yaxiu supported her arms, checking her condition with the careful reverence of examining a work of art. "Are you all right? But I clearly saw... Anyway, it's enough that you're fine! This is wonderful, truly wonderful!" The white-haired little girl smiled as she looked at Yaxiu, who was so relieved his eyes were nearly rimmed with red. "Not just me. Annan, Igola, Harvey, and Banjie all survived, though they suffered varying degrees of injuries. I have already canceled the warrant on Annan." "Thank you," Yaxiu replied instinctively before realizing something was off. "You canceled it?" "Mm." "Are you... Did the royal family recognize your status as a princess, allowing you to command..." "No." Ignoring his tense, almost pleading expression, the white-haired little girl punctured his pointless fantasy directly: "I am now the First Gospel, Diyin. My decree is the destiny of all living beings, which is why the Sanctuary Sorcerers who obey Gospel gave up their pursuit of Annan and the others." Refusing to believe it, Yaxiu summoned his Book of Gospel and stared intensely at the name ranked first on the Gospel Board, as though today were the very first day he had ever learned to read. With great difficulty, he said, "But your name doesn't even have the character 'Di' in it!" The white-haired little girl hopped down from him. She was wearing the same pink wool coat and plaid skirt from yesterday, her skin pure white as snow and her lips crimson as blood. She smiled at Yaxiu, but within her pale green eyes flickered a gaze entirely foreign to him. "Hello. I am Lisdia."