First Date

Click. The villa's front door suddenly swung open, and a blond man dressed in casual clothes walked in carrying shopping bags. His long golden hair was loosely tied and resting on his shoulder, his sleeves were rolled to his elbows to reveal slender forearms, and the open collar of his shirt showed a swan-like neck and elegant collarbones. Yaxiu glanced over and asked curiously, "Why are you dressed up as Felix?" "How else was I supposed to go out grocery shopping without looking like him?" Igola closed and locked the door behind him, drawing the nearby curtains as well. With a casual wipe across his face, his features instantly reverted to his true appearance. "And disguising yourself as him won't get you caught?" "Even if we're found out, he'll be the first to suffer. That buys us some buffer time at least." Only then did Igola have time to notice the necromantic spectacle of surging insects and ants churning across the ground-floor hall. His brow furrowed at once. "This is someone else's house. Harvey, what on earth are you doing?" *Thank goodness!* Up on the second floor, Felix let out a massive sigh of relief. Hearing Igola's reprimand, she was so delighted that she instantly forgave him for impersonating her. *At least there's one normal person here!* she thought. That was right—she remembered Igola had taken a two-hour shower the moment he arrived. He was clearly a severe germaphobe. How could he possibly tolerate Harvey's filthy, rotting necromantic rituals? *Quick, curse him out! Stop him! Trample him! Start fighting already!* The Swindler strode forward, stepping over the centipedes and spiders littering the floor, and smacked the necromancer squarely across the back of the head. "Go eat your breakfast at the dining table! If you carry it around like that and drop crumbs everywhere, who's going to clean it up? This isn't our place—mind your manners!" Igola admonished sternly. Felix's fury flared from the soles of her feet straight to the crown of her head. Her toes curled tightly, gripping her slippers, as a barrage of unspoken curses choked in her throat, none of which she dared utter aloud—*Who asked you to focus on such trivial, useless details?!* Harvey looked mildly annoyed, but he picked up his plate and walked over to Yaxiu anyway. As he passed the coffin, he tossed a sunny-side-up egg inside and said, "Felix made this for you." Within a single second, the egg was swallowed whole by the vortex of insects and ants. The figure inside the coffin slowly raised a right arm—countless maggots, centipedes, and cockroaches writhing and devouring one another beneath the flesh—and gave a friendly wave toward Felix on the second floor. *Snap.* In a daze, Felix felt something break inside her mind. Then she lost all control of her body. She watched with terrifying clarity as her mortal flesh rapidly lost its elasticity and tension, her pupils dilated, her bowels and bladder released, her muscles seized into rigidity, and colored hypostasis formed across her skin, blossoming into bizarre, macabre postmortem livor filled with the aesthetics of death... Igola walked up to the second floor to grab his breakfast. Finding Felix's pupils glazed over, her entire body drained of color as she leaned blankly against the railing—as if her soul had been dragged into some chaotic otherworld—the Swindler wondered if he had pushed things too far. After all, the fellow had at least made breakfast for them. "Huh?" When Igola sat down at the first-floor dining table, an urgent announcement on the light screen caught all three men's attention. A wanted notice popped up on the news channel, but it had nothing to do with them. "...The intruder is currently at large in eastern Jialesi. Anyone who discovers clues must not attempt to track or investigate on their own; report immediately to law enforcement. Detailed information on the intruder remains unavailable, but the suspect is a Legendary sorcerer and considered extremely dangerous. A reward of 500 gold coins will be offered for verified leads, and 500,000 gold coins for capture. The Starflick Guard has already been deployed. Citizens are advised to minimize outdoor activities and stay alert to their surroundings. If you encounter the criminal, do not resist; comply to ensure your personal safety..." A Legendary wanted notice! Aside from the three of them, another Legendary sorcerer had actually broken into the Starry Kingdom during this period! "Is it Vichy?" Yaxiu immediately thought of that fountainhead of all evil, that resurrected monster, that demigod degenerate. "From what you said, the Spectre Prophet only displayed the combat strength of a Sanctuary sorcerer, didn't she?" Igola remarked, biting into a pafuni. "Though for a monster who rerolled her account from scratch, climbing back up to Ruby Mountain in short order wouldn't be surprising either." "If you ask me, I hope it isn't the Spectre Prophet—and the more intruders like that, the better." Harvey asked, "So the Starry Kingdom won't have time to worry about the three of us Sanctuary sorcerers?" "No, to force the Starry Kingdom into changing its national policy," Igola said, waving his fork. "Every policy comes down to enforcement cost. When the cost of enforcement vastly exceeds the return, the Starry Kingdom has no reason to maintain it. "If enough high-ranking intruder sorcerers show up, the Starry Kingdom will realize that the Age of Great Transmigration is an unstoppable historical trend. Their official stance will naturally shift from 'no room for compromise' to 'peaceful development, cooperation, and mutual benefit.'" Igola shot Yaxiu a sideways glance. "When that happens, you might even find a way to become an honorary Starry citizen and get a permanent residence permit. Won't you be thrilled?" "Well, not really..." Yaxiu answered bashfully. "I'm a Legendary sorcerer now, after all. How could I lack the dignity to go begging for citizenship in the Starry Kingdom? The Starry Kingdom should be begging me!" "If the Starry Kingdom offered you a special amnesty—where turning us over would make you an honorary citizen—what would you do?" "What are you implying, Igola?!" Yaxiu snapped indignantly. "Do I look like the type to sell out my friends for personal gain?! Our unbreakable friendship was forged breaking out of prison together!" Igola picked up on that immediately. "So..." "So you haven't forgotten your signature skills, right?" Yaxiu blinked. "I don't mean anything by it, but having toured Blood Moon Prison, Gospel Prison, and Senluo Prison, it just feels like your adventure would be incomplete without taking a crack at Starry Prison..." Harvey speared a sunny-side-up egg with his fork, gulped it down in one bite, and nodded solemnly. "Indeed. Prisons and the Four Pillar Cult are the only two essential achievements on our journey that cannot be missed." Yaxiu watched them finish most of their breakfast before grinning cheekily. "By the way, Felix made your breakfast." "Hmm?" "Though I was the one who forced him to cook for you. He did say that even if he didn't dare poison it, he'd probably spit in it." Harvey glanced at him and, completely deadpan, proceeded to clean his plate of every last scrap. Igola casually sipped his coffee and said, "The plate I grabbed was the breakfast Felix prepared for himself." Upstairs, Felix had finally caught her breath and recovered from the terror of death, and was currently eating breakfast in the kitchen. Hearing those words, she froze, pouting in sullen exasperation. Igola snapped his fingers, and a Silence miracle rippled outward, enveloping the dining table area. These handy little everyday miracles essential for murder and arson were typically the Swindler's domain. "Enough nonsense. Yaxiu, what's your plan next?" "Well," Yaxiu said offhandedly, "Sword Princess is coming to see me tonight. And three days from now, I'll send you two back to Gospel. Don't ask how I can send you back; you'll understand when the time comes." "Oh?" Harvey snapped his head around to look at him. "Her name is Sword Princess?" "She's coming to see you tonight?" Igola raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't your focus be on returning to Gospel in three days?" Yaxiu countered. "That means we won't end up in Starry Prison, and we won't have to keep tangling with the Four Pillar Cult. We'll return to a peaceful life together. Everyone back in the Gospel Country is waiting for us." "Trivial things like that don't matter." Igola tapped his index finger hard against the table. "The important thing is your meeting tonight!" "What's the big deal about meeting tonight?" "Before tonight, have you ever met her in reality?" Yaxiu paused. "...No." "Then tonight is your very first real-life date!" Igola looked Yaxiu up and down, his face a picture of utter disgust. "Could you please clean yourself up? Are you really planning to greet your very first date looking like that?" Yaxiu stared wide-eyed at Igola, his chest tightening as if clenched by a fist. For a moment he couldn't even catch his breath. Boundless grievance and bitterness welled up inside him, leaving him too heartbroken to speak. How could Igola say that about him? That was going way too far! He had clearly already cleaned himself up!