First, Take Off Your Clothes

「Lisdia」 「Age: an old hag one year older than me」 「Traits: split personality」 「Advantages: rules the nation of Gospel, almost as pretty as me, holds her daughter Lisi as a hostage, and possesses the White Queen, Black Butler, Red Apostle and other personalities. She alone can count as four girlfriends, and she has a peculiar allure for men chasing novelty, taboo, and thrills.」 「Weaknesses: her father complex is extremely heavy—pin that down and she sinks; Lisi cannot yet be separated from her, which severely limits how intimate Yaxiu and she can get; fierce on the outside but weak within—she hasn't actually decided what kind of closeness she wants with Yaxiu, she just instinctively wants to possess him.」 「Conclusion: not much of a threat in the short term, but she needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.」 In the girls' dormitory at Sword Flower University, Sonia closed her countermeasure notebook, opened a light screen to browse short videos, and mulled over her next move. There was no doubt that Yaxiu would return to Gospel in three days. Sonia couldn't stop him, and didn't want to. Once he reached Diya's territory, whatever Sonia did would be too far away to matter. But the delicate relationship between Yaxiu and Diya meant that, for the time being, they would at most develop in the direction of family affection. Unless Diya used some kind of love charm miracle, a perfect monopoly was absolutely impossible. But compared to the empress's psychological obstacles, the village girl's side had practical obstacles. Unless Sonia could travel freely between Gospel and the Stars, or Yaxiu could settle down in the Stars, they would forever be a long-distance couple separated by national borders, able to meet only in the Void Realm. How infuriating, Sonia sighed inwardly. She was already a Legendary sorcerer—so why couldn't she lock the person she loved in a little dark room, cut off his contact with everyone else, and turn him into a good partner who only liked to act spoiled with her? Just how much power did one need to hold on to happiness? Just then Lois, Adele, and Ingrid returned from their morning classes. Adele rushed over and hugged Sonia from behind. "Sonia, tonight's girls' night—you're not going to skip it, are you?" Sonia blinked, and only then remembered that tonight was the twice-monthly girls' night, when they went to the Secret Garden to drink and chat. Besides their dorm, Leonie, Celia, and other big names would be there too, and occasionally even Aisha from Truth University came. All of them were quality connections worth holding on to even after graduation. Of course, in other people's eyes, Sonia was no longer a quality connection but a trump-card connection. Once Sonia graduated, apart from the prophecy sorcerer Aisha, none of the others could possibly get to know the Stretching Paw Sword Saint in any normal social setting. "Sorry," Sonia said. "I have something to do tonight, so I can't make it." "Can't you go to the Void Realm a bit later, or just miss one night?" Adele pouted. "You promised last time that you'd come!" Sonia had indeed promised. Missing a night in the Void Realm was no big deal, and girls' night was fun anyway. She might have become diligent and ambitious now, but that didn't mean she'd given up lowbrow pleasures like gossiping, talking trash about people, and discussing other people's love lives. She was a Legendary sorcerer now—couldn't she enjoy herself a little!? "Can't you push it to tomorrow night or a few days later? I really have something important tonight, so I can't join you." Sonia sighed. "Actually, I have something important I wanted to ask your opinions about too, but..." Seeing that the village girl didn't seem to be brushing them off, Adele had no choice but to say, "Fine, but you have to come next time!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, next time for sure!" "Actually, we could move the drinking party up to seven," Lois said. "That way it wouldn't conflict with your trip to the Void Realm." "It's not actually about the Void Realm. I'm going to see Yaxiu tonight, so—" Sonia suddenly realized something and froze mid-sentence. The dorm went quiet. The Stretching Paw Sword Saint slowly turned her head and saw three female beasts with red glowing eyes, so excited they were radiating heat. "Who's Yaxiu!?" "You're seeing your boyfriend tonight!?" "Does he know swordsmanship?!" Lois and Adele gave Ingrid a disdainful look for asking such a boring question, then flanked Sonia from left and right, eyes shining. "Are you having a candlelit dinner tonight? Are you staying the night at his place? Have you prepared protection?" Sonia didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Tonight is the first time we're meeting, so we won't—" "First time!?" "The Stars bless you, you haven't even met him before? This is your first date?" "How were you two dating before this!?" Sonia blinked, and her love-struck brain retook the high ground. Her head had been so full of how to deal with Diya that she only now realized that tonight, for both her and Yaxiu, was an extremely important date. Lois went straight to her wardrobe, dug out the dozens of outfits inside, and shook her head. "You've worn all of these—so you have nothing to wear. When are you meeting him?" "Eight tonight..." "Then we only have nine hours left!" Adele said anxiously. "Girls, time is tight, we have a heavy mission!" "Don't panic, let's plan out today's schedule first," Lois said. "Hair, beauty treatment, manicure, buy shoes, buy clothes, and it'd be best to stop by the dentist to get your teeth cleaned—" Ingrid reminded them, "Sword sorcerers don't keep long nails." "But we want manicures!" Lois and Adele said in unison. "The only shopping center with all those facilities is... Sunset Hall!" Lois clapped her hands. "We happen to have no classes this afternoon. Let's go!" "Adele has a retake class this afternoon," Ingrid reminded again. "Attendance is taken." Adele stared blankly at Ingrid. "When exactly did I offend you? Do you have to get back at me like this?" Sonia sighed helplessly and asked, "Adele, who teaches your retake class?" "It's..." Adele blinked, turned to Ingrid, and asked, "Who teaches my retake class?" Ingrid: "Professor Wesley." Sonia said, "Professor Wesley and I get along fairly well. I should be able to get you a day off in the name of assisting with research." Adele hugged Sonia happily, planted a 'mwah' on the village girl's cheek, and while rubbing her face against hers, whined, "Wuuu, I can't bear to dress up my sweet, fragrant Sonia and hand her over to a man to ruin—" "So are we going or not?" Lois asked. "Going, going, going!" Adele excitedly pulled Sonia to her feet, grabbed Ingrid along the way, and headed out. "Girls' night is canceled. I hereby declare today Date Day, and love density is rising sharply!" ...... ... "I apologize for what I said earlier." In the villa's dressing room, Yaxiu stood before the floor-length mirror. Igola looked at Yaxiu and heaved a long sigh. "You really did try your best. I never imagined it wasn't a matter of effort—it's that you yourself are the problem. I was wrong to accuse you of not trying." Yaxiu: "Could you give me some useful advice instead of just insulting me?" Igola lifted Yaxiu's bangs with a finger. "If you got a nice haircut, that should earn you quite a few points." "Then let's do it!" The fraudster pointed at his own long golden hair. "If I knew how to cut hair, would I have let mine grow this long? It takes forever to dry after washing, and it makes me sweat so easily. Honestly..." With that, Igola pulled off his hair tie, swept up the long golden hair behind him to reveal a fair nape dotted with beads of sweat, casually tied it into a wolf tail, then checked himself in the mirror and spread his hands. "See? Good-looking people look good no matter how they change their style." "I can cut hair," Harvey suddenly said. Yaxiu and Igola glanced at the necromancer, fell silent for a moment, and then directly switched to the next topic. "Looks like the hairstyle can't be solved for now. Any other ways to earn points?" "A gift," Igola said seriously. "A suitable gift is worth a love charm miracle—it'll put a filter over her eyes whenever she looks at you!" "A gift?" Yaxiu scratched his head. "I don't really have anything to give—would a sorcery spirit do?" Igola was speechless for a moment. "At least learn a little about female psychology... A gift that's too valuable or too practical puts a lot of pressure on a woman; a gift that isn't valuable but is practical seems more like a tool, with little gift quality; and one that's neither valuable nor practical—don't even mention it, giving that would just be embarrassing." "Then how about my substitute sorcery spirit?" Yaxiu asked. "It's a bit valuable, a bit practical, and it means a lot to me, so it should have plenty of gift value, right?" "That would be fine if this were your one-year anniversary, but this is your first meeting. A gift of great significance isn't quite suitable—it would make your affection seem heavy," Igola said. "I'd still suggest choosing a valuable luxury item that can be bought on the market, with some practical use, and something she can show off, so she can proudly boast to others about the romance between you two." Yaxiu was completely lost, head tilted, face blank. "...It's that complicated?" "Need help?" Harvey said. "I have a wonderful gift that can help you." "Really!?" Yaxiu's eyes lit up. "It's a gift from Alice and me together," Harvey said. "Alice definitely won't mind giving you a coffin as a token of love! I made this coffin myself, and Alice has nurtured it for months. It's absolutely valuable, and it has some practical use too—your Sword Princess can boast to others that you have a coffin to be buried in together!" Yaxiu nodded along, then went over and put an arm around Harvey's shoulder. "Harvey, let's step outside and discuss something." Yaxiu dragged the necromancer to the second-floor staircase, then directly picked Harvey up and threw him into the coffin below, shouting, "Alice, hold on to Harvey for me, don't let this guy cause trouble!" The corpse in the coffin really did obediently hug Harvey, and even closed the lid. Yaxiu returned to the room, bowed deeply, pressed his palms together, and begged the fraudster, "Auntie Bogin, help me!" Igola crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "I really can't do anything with you. But first, let's solve your clothes problem—compared to a date, that outfit of yours is better suited for murdering someone and dumping the body." "But I can't go out to buy clothes," Yaxiu said in distress. "We're still wanted criminals." Igola thought for a moment, then something seemed to occur to him, and the corner of his mouth curved up slyly. "Actually, clothes don't necessarily have to be bought." ...... ... Before they left, she still had to go out less, to keep them from having more contact. In the bedroom, Felix sat in a chair, her shapely rear pressing a round dent into the cushion. She recalled Alice's little wave from earlier and still felt a lingering fear. Even without actively casting any spell, the malice of these evil sorcerers could destroy her mental defenses in everyday life. These three evil sorcerers could actually eat and chat beside a corpse swarming with maggots and flies, as if they couldn't smell a trace of stench—clearly they were complete psychopaths, their worldview far removed from normal people. But no matter how deranged they were, it had nothing to do with her. These three evil sorcerers wouldn't stay here long; she just had to endure until they left. At that thought, Felix couldn't help but feel glad she had the protection of the Four Pillar Cult. Without it, these evil sorcerers might not spare even her. Still, she should make some preparations, just in case these three evil sorcerers start killing and burning... Felix, you've been through so many dangers and setbacks since childhood, and you finally made it this far—how could you be defeated by a few foreign evil sorcerers? Once you get through this, everything will return to normal! Felix rallied her spirits again, and only then did she realize that the fear of death had left her drenched in cold sweat, her whole body sticky and uncomfortable. She stood up and took off her clothes, preparing to take a bath— Smack! Felix instantly sat back down in the chair, clutching her coat to cover herself. Looking at the two evil sorcerers who had barged into her bedroom, the shame and fury of nearly being exposed made her so angry she forgot the gap in strength between them, and she shouted, "Don't you know how to knock!?" "Sorry." Igola closed the door, knocked once, then immediately pushed it open again. "Do you have a moment, Felix? We need your help with something." Felix took a deep breath and forcibly suppressed the anger in her heart. "What kind of help do you need?" Then Yaxiu suddenly said, "I think Felix looks just right." Igola studied her for a moment and nodded slightly. "Indeed. Yaxiu, your taste isn't bad." Felix was slightly taken aback, a bad premonition washing over her, and then she heard the evil sorcerer speak words like a demon's: "First, Felix, take off your clothes."