If You Don't Like It, Go Fall in Love Yourselves

"...Where wasteful Time debateth with Decay, to turn your day of youth to sullied night. In war with Time for love of you, what it wrests away, I shall rekindle anew." "Asu." Harvey the Coffin Carrier pressed his hands together in prayer, quietly watching the brilliant white flames consume every last fragment of the corpse drifting upon the sea. Holding onto Yaxiu, Feili couldn't resist poking her head out to peek. Clearly, this was a necromancer holding a wicked funeral ritual to dispose of a corpse, yet the dark-skinned curly-haired man gave off an inexplicable sense of sanctity—as though he were at once ushering away a life and welcoming one in. They had fought several battles during their flight. Yaxiu hadn't stepped in every time, leaving plenty of opportunity for Igola, Harvey, and Vichy to find their rhythm together. Of course, Igola and Harvey knew each other inside out and had no need for icebreakers—they were comrades who had soaked in the baths together, after all. Yaxiu's main goal was to integrate the demonic maid into their combat lineup. To be frank, it was quite a headache. No matter how docile and obedient Vichy acted, constantly clinging to Yaxiu and begging for punishment, who could forget her other identity? She was the Spectre Prophet—someone for whom killing was as natural as breathing, who had flayed more human hides than you had worn clothes, whose only bottom line was having no principles, and whose only principle was having no bottom line! She was a walking calamity seemingly spun entirely from malice! The more meek she acted, the more terrified everyone felt; merely hearing her breathe was enough to set Yaxiu and the others on edge. Whenever Vichy occasionally brushed against his hair, Yaxiu would go entirely rigid, feeling as if the barbed tongue of a monster had just licked him. With Vichy in the fight, who wouldn't keep seventy percent of their attention glued to the pink-haired maid? Yet the situation defied everyone's expectations. Whether by design or necessity, the demonic maid took the initiative to serve as the tactical vanguard. Every time, she spearheaded the charge, brandishing a flaming halberd to clash with the Void Realm creatures. Part of this was because Vichy possessed no other sorcery spirits and could only rely on the power of the Knowing and Guarding Fire. Still, claiming she couldn't develop any ranged attacks would be sorely underestimating her legendary Fire sorcery attainment. With the Spectre Prophet charging ahead and deliberately exposing her back, no matter how vigilant the deceiver and the necromancer were, they gradually began to ease up. Not only that, Vichy seemed intimately familiar with Igola's and Harvey's miracles. She often herded the Void Realm creatures straight into their optimal casting range, making their combat experience as effortless as having a meal spoon-fed to their mouths. Yaxiu had originally hoped Vichy would adapt to Igola and Harvey, but after a few rounds, it had practically turned into Igola and Harvey adapting to Vichy. Sensing this dangerous trend, the cult leader had Feili practice levitating over the sea and pulled the deceiver aside for a private word. "You guys are practically being led by the nose by Vichy!" "We can't help it. Her tactical mastery is genuinely higher than ours," Igola said, throwing his hands up. "Cooperating with her benefits us all, and refusing to cooperate leads to mistakes. What am I supposed to do?" Yaxiu grew anxious. "I'm worried you'll both be seduced by her!" "I promise you nothing will happen. We're just forced to work together right now. Don't overthink it." "Why don't you split up? Seeing her around you two makes me uneasy." "Now you're being unreasonable. Fighting together is our most efficient option. Work is work, and feelings are feelings—we can tell them apart." "How am I being unreasonable?" "Because you don't trust me! Nothing has happened, yet you're second-guessing me out of wild imagination!" "I'm just worried!" "We've been through so much together. Why would you worry I'd betray you over a woman who just appeared out of nowhere? You simply don't trust me!" "My, what's all the bickering about?" Vichy sidled up, her voice dripping with artificial innocence. "Weren't things going so well just a moment ago?" Yaxiu glared at her. "It's all your fault!" "I see. Master doesn't trust me, so he fears I'll sway his companions." The maid gave a helpless sigh. "I know nothing I do could change your mind, Master, but I wouldn't want you two fighting over me. Perhaps you'd hear my suggestion?" "Speak." "Mr. Igola," Vichy began, "since Master is worried about us, I will refrain from making any eye contact or speaking with you, even during battle. While this will naturally degrade our tactical synergy, combat is merely a trivial sliver of our lives. There is no need to breed discord between friends over fighting." Yaxiu nodded repeatedly. "Right, exactly! We aren't fighting all the time anyway. You don't need any rapport at all!" Vichy continued, "When we return, I shall wear cloaks and other obscuring garments so that you cannot form any familiar impressions of me, and we shall remain complete strangers." Yaxiu nodded forcefully. "Yes, yes, yes, keep it strictly strangers!" Vichy added, "However, that treats the symptoms rather than the cause. To completely dispel Master's doubts, I should enter an intimate relationship of negative distance with Master, so he can be assured that my body and heart have both been conquered by him." Yaxiu waved a dismissive hand. "Feel free to become best friends, you two. I have complete trust in you and Harvey, Igola." With that, Yaxiu stuck his tongue out at the demonic maid, then went over to scoop Feili—who had been paddling through the sea using her wings—out of the water. Vichy and Igola exchanged a glance. The maid said sullenly, "I pushed too hard that time. I was so close." "Keep at it." "Aren't you afraid Yaxiu will fall under my spell?" "First, the leash is in Yaxiu's hands," the deceiver said, buffing his fingernails. "Second, who ends up charming whom isn't set in stone." Vichy chuckled. "So confident? But if you'll forgive my bluntness, Master doesn't exactly possess any likable qualities, does he?" "What a coincidence." Igola shrugged. "Harvey and I used to think the same thing." * In any case, after several battles, one of Harvey's corpses was accidentally swallowed by a Slash Fish Dragon. Although the Slash Fish Dragon paid a price that would have moved a Lalafell to tears, the corpse had been chewed so thoroughly that it was beyond salvage. Originally, this was nothing more than the routine consumption of an expendable asset. The corpse wasn't even that of an actual living person, merely a projection like Feili. Yet Harvey insisted on stopping to hold a funeral for it. "This is the first time I've seen you hold a funeral for a corpse," Yaxiu remarked. "We've left plenty of bodies in our wake, and we've come across quite a few on the road as well." "Because he was my family," Harvey replied placidly. "I can leave strangers alone, but family deserves proper respect. In truth, if we weren't on the run constantly, I would gladly tend to all those unattended corpses." "A practitioner of the Häagen-Dazs faction?" The maid's tone carried a hint of intrigue. "I would have thought that after thousands of years, that school would have died out." Yaxiu found this odd. "Why? Isn't Häagen-Dazs a cultural icon of the necromancy school? A great progenitor figure..." "It failed to keep up with the times," Vichy said. "The Häagen-Dazs faction had two core tenets: 'the dead must serve the living,' and 'respect the dead as you would respect the living.' The former is sound, but the latter... Heh. We don't even respect the living anymore, so why bother respecting corpses?" "In my era, hardly any necromancers still revered Häagen-Dazs, except..." Vichy paused, then asked abruptly, "Do you still observe the 'Brazier Rite'?" "It is called the 'Family Induction Ceremony,'" Harvey corrected. Seeing that the others didn't understand, Harvey explained, "After completing the necromantic treatment on a corpse, I personally wash it, then carry it bare-chested over a brazier. I place it into a coffin and chant 'Aha,' which signifies that they have formally become my family." Feili asked curiously, "Does that ceremony serve any practical purpose?" "In terms of tangible effects, perhaps not," the necromancer said. "To me, however, the ceremony signifies that we are family who can cross seas of fire together. In daily life, I treat them with equal respect, and when the need arises, I can employ them without reservation, for we are kin who support one another." "There was definitely a good reason the Weaving Ceremony's Family Ranking included you," Yaxiu said faintly. "I'd crown you the man with the strongest family values." Igola remarked, "Much as I'd like to call your practice heartwarming, it really is far too macabre." Vichy noted, "Yet in my era, Häagen-Dazs sorcerers didn't have the custom of holding funerals for 'family.'" "That is indeed a tradition from the modern era," Harvey said. "A thousand years ago, a great necromancer arose who inherited the Häagen-Dazs path. The 'Family Resting Ceremony' she introduced has since become an etiquette all necromancers must learn. However, the Family Resting Ceremony requires only the final chant of 'Asu.' The verses before it were an elegy Chikala taught me." Vichy clapped her hands. "So necromancy hasn't progressed in several thousand years; it's actually regressed into antiquarianism. Wonderful." Harvey glanced at the maid but offered no rebuttal. "It warms my heart to see you two getting along so poorly. Let's keep moving," Yaxiu said. "The mist ahead is getting thicker." The deeper they ventured, the more frequently Void Realm creatures appeared, and the stronger they became. Wasting sorcery mana on battles with Slash Fish Dragons and Mud Fish Dragons was sheer folly. Unless an encounter was truly unavoidable, they took slight detours to bypass combat entirely. "Is it just my imagination," Igola suddenly asked, "or are the Void Realm creatures growing stronger?" "The deeper we go, the more people the Void Realm creatures should have consumed, which should make them weaker. Yet the spell resistance of that Slash Fish Dragon just now was even higher than the one on the outer perimeter." Vichy said calmly, "That indicates there are mechanics within the mist we do not yet comprehend, along with unpredictable hazards." "Sigh, if only we could herd these creatures outward, we wouldn't have to deal with this trouble." Feili started. "B-But the people in other cities would suffer!" "The trouble is mine, while the lives are theirs. Even if millions of them die, it wouldn't equal the trouble I'm being put through." The maid winked playfully at Yaxiu. "Right, Master?" Yaxiu exchanged glances with the others and silently took a step away from the Spectre Prophet. Vichy blinked and held out her hands in surrender. "Fine, the moral baseline of you modern sorcerers is slightly higher than I anticipated..." "Speaking of which," she turned back toward Yaxiu, "Master, it is time we defined our bottom line." "Bottom line?" "Are we going to risk everything and seize every chance to snatch the Angel's remains, or are we prioritizing our own preservation and retreating in time?" Vichy said seriously. "If it is the latter, we can prepare to withdraw right now, as the strength of the Void Realm creatures is fast approaching the limit of what the three of us can handle." "If even stronger Void Realm creatures appear, only you and Miss Feili will be able to deal with them." Yaxiu fell silent for a moment. Truth be told, they had no compelling reason to take such risks. They could simply stay at home and wait for the Source Angel to perish completely, at which point the blockade on Ruby Mountain would naturally lift. Their participation in the angel hunt was driven partly by greed for the Source Angel and partly by resentment over being set up by the Divine Lord of Stars. Most importantly, though, Yaxiu wanted to resolve this matter himself. Even without knowing the exact situation in the Starry Country, Yaxiu knew the Sword Princess and the Witch had to be frantic. He wanted them to stay calm, but he couldn't even send a message across. He was genuinely terrified that while he was gone, the two of them might pull off something earth-shattering for his sake. Returning to reality even a day earlier meant finding peace of mind a day sooner. And then there was Niya... "If we run into danger, you can leave first; you don't need to look out for me," Yaxiu said. "I can only guarantee my own safety and Feili's." "Understood," Igola said. "I didn't realize you missed the Sword Princess this much." "How would you know? Maybe I just want to snatch food right out of the Divine Lord of Stars' mouth..." "Yaxiu, we may be friends," the deceiver sighed, "but the sickeningly sweet stench of lovesickness radiating off you is genuinely making people uncomfortable." Yaxiu could barely keep his composure. He turned to Harvey. "Is it that obvious?" The necromancer blinked. "Yaxiu, we are friends." "Fine, I'm sorry, I'll watch myself next ti—like hell I will!" Yaxiu bared his teeth. "If you don't like it, go fall in love yourselves!" Harvey pondered for a moment. "It's not entirely out of the question..." Yaxiu apologized immediately. "I'm sorry, I was truly wrong! Harvey, whatever you do, please don't fall in love with a corpse. None of us could bear it!" "Master," Vichy piped up demurely, "shouldn't you mind your words a little? After all, you are still carrying a maiden in the bloom of youth. Parading your affections like this might make her feel rather awkward..." "Ah, Feili, I'm sorry," Yaxiu said. "I didn't mean it." "It's fine," Feili sniffled, murmuring softly, "I... I actually quite like the stories about you and the Sword Princess." "Really? Oh, right, right! Back when we were in the Knowledge Sea, the Sword Princess and I—" *BOOM!* In the blink of an eye, nine colossal dark shadows surged up from the depths of the sea, slicing toward everyone like razor-sharp blades!