So It Was Because You Love Her

"In the beginning, the Sword Princess and I were just comrades adventuring together. Because her talent was swordsmanship, I learned swordsmanship along with her. I never had the chance to receive a sorcerer's education, so she taught me everything she learned at school..." "I don't even remember if there was a proper confession, but if she says it was me, then I guess it was me." "Our relationship wasn't smooth sailing, mainly because of me. To put it poetically, my heart shattered into pieces, and each piece loves only one person... I feel like if I ever dared say that in front of her, I'd be dead meat." Without concealing or evading anything, Yaxiu recounted the entire story of his relationship with Sonia to Niya. Sometimes he smiled without realizing it, and sometimes he babbled on about details that had left a deep impression on him, completely heedless of whether his sole listener wanted to hear it. "The Sword Princess and the Witch are waiting for me in another world. To save me, they're fighting somewhere I don't know." Yaxiu said, "The only reason I'm fighting so desperately is so I can return and reunite with them a day sooner." "That's my story with the Sword Princess." In the silence, Yaxiu's hand could clearly feel Niya's heartbeat quickening. He tried to pull his hand back, but Niya held it tight and refused to let go, insisting on pressing his hand against the soft swell of her chest, as if demanding that he feel her heartbeat every single moment. "...Does she look like me?" The moment Niya asked, she answered herself. "She must. Otherwise, how could you have recognized me at a glance?... No, wait." She realized it: "That girl who loved beauty you talked about just now—is she the Sword Princess?" Yaxiu said, "Yes." "So she has no scars on her face. She changes into all sorts of pretty clothes every day, brushes her hair until it's smooth and fresh, and has time to put on nice makeup." Niya whispered, "She's completely different from me... She must be so much prettier than I am, right?" "She's still going to school, and her daily life must be very fun. She isn't full of negative energy, nor does she need to hide and scurry about on the run..." "You love her, and she loves you. Congratulations on both finding the person you love." She whispered, "How wonderful." Yaxiu didn't know what to say to that. "I'm sorry." "Why are you apologizing? Is it because during that white fog, the Sword Princess used my body to have a rendezvous with you?" "You know?" "I just guessed it," Niya said calmly. "I lost my memory of that time. When I opened my eyes, I saw us kissing, but you wouldn't kiss me... Although it feels unbelievable, it's the only possibility." "Since another me exists in another world, what else is impossible?" "Tell me the truth. When I'm asleep, do I sneak off to meet you? Have we already done a lot of things? Does she often 'borrow' my body? I don't care at all if someone uses my body to date someone—I don't care in the least! Tell me!" Toward the end, Niya's voice climbed higher and higher until it cracked. Yaxiu held Niya tightly as she struggled hysterically, not uttering a single word the entire time. Only when Niya began gasping for breath did he say, "From beginning to end, it only happened that once. Although I can't guarantee whether it will happen again in the future, I will definitely tell you if it does. Really, I'm so sorry." Niya took a deep breath and suddenly asked, "I only want to ask one question—why are you protecting me?" "I don't believe it's just because I look like her. What is the real reason that makes you protect me no matter the cost? You're obviously going to leave this world sooner or later. Could it be you just want a substitute for the time being?" After a moment of silence, Yaxiu said slowly, "If you die, it will have a bad effect on the Sword Princess." "Ah, everything makes sense now." Niya murmured, "No wonder you were willing to cover for me before the Police Department the very first time we met. No wonder you wanted so badly for me to live under your protection. No wonder the moment you saw me in danger, you flew over to save me without thinking twice..." "From the start, you only approached me for her sake." "No wonder you were so good to me. It turns out it was because you love her." Niya's voice faded into silence, as if waiting for Yaxiu's reply, but Yaxiu only held her quietly, silent as a pocket of warm darkness, silently feeling the turbulent beating of her heart. He couldn't say anything. Anything he said would only tear Niya's wounds open wider. From the very beginning, he had protected Niya only to protect the Sword Princess. If not for the mechanism of emotional backflow, he might never have sought out the Sword Princess's shadow in the Country of All Stars at all. If he had spoken a few true words to Feili, then toward Niya, from the start he had only intended to approach her through deceit. He hadn't dared speak the truth to Niya: *From now on, I will do everything I can to protect you, solely because you are the shadow of the woman I love. For the sake of the person I cherish, you cannot die.* Now Niya had merely ripped off his hypocritical mask and slapped his ugly face raw. Who knew how much time passed before Yaxiu felt Niya finally pull his hand away. Then came a rustling in the dark, and the stone slab overhead let out a creaking, crumbling groan. "Niya, don't move around—" "I'm leaving." "What?" "I'm leaving!" Niya said under her breath. "I won't do what you want, and I definitely won't live for someone else's sake... I'm leaving!" "Where do you want to go? Wait until we get through this hunt—" "I don't want to stay with you for even one more second!" Niya exhaled sharply, yet she still couldn't hold back the sob in her voice. "Yaxiu Heath, you make me sick! You make me want to throw up! I want to kill you! I want to kill you! To think I actually thought... I should have killed you long ago! Why didn't I kill you?! I want to get away from you! Just breathing the same air as you makes me sick enough to puke!" "There's still a demigod gunner out there, and the Six Nations Legion! You'll die if you leave on your own!" "I don't care!" Niya slammed her fist hard against Yaxiu's chest. "My death will affect the Sword Princess? What does that have to do with me?! In fact, even better! If my death makes you regret it for the rest of your life, I'd be overjoyed!" Yaxiu took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension. "Niya, calm down—" "Call me Sevi!" Niya grabbed Yaxiu by the collar. "And don't talk to me in that tone! I'm not the Sword Princess, and I won't take your orders!" "Can't we at least cooperate just to survive?" "I'm not the Sword Princess. I have no one I care about. I stopped wanting to live a long time ago!" "I never once treated you as the Sword Princess. You don't have to be like this—" "Then when we first met, who were you saying 'I like Miss Sevi' to?" Yaxiu's voice cut off abruptly. But after uttering those words, Niya seemed completely drained. Taking several deep breaths, she tried once more to push aside the rubble, but she soon found herself wrapped in his embrace again. "You—" "Don't go. I'll go," Yaxiu said softly. "I'll leave your sight. Just stay here quietly, alright?" After a brief silence, Niya gave a soft hum of agreement. "After I regroup with Weixi and the others, I'll find a way to draw away the Six Nations Legion and the demigod gunner. I can't guarantee whether there will be further cave-ins here, but for now this corner is safe. You have to adapt to the situation. Wait until we leave before you run, and try your best to keep yourself safe, alright?" Niya's voice trembled slightly. "None of your business." Yaxiu raised his hand and pushed up the stone slab above slightly. Outside, the Six Nations Legion seemed to have already excavated quite a bit, allowing Yaxiu to barely push it up. Straightening his waist with a stifled groan, he pulled his body off the broken rebar, then carefully shifted, settling Niya into the corner. In this corner where Yaxiu could only recline halfway, Niya was able to curl up and crouch inside. Yaxiu first slapped a Joy Sword miracle onto himself, then used Heart Sword to dig out a spot barely large enough to accommodate himself. Just as he prepared to keep digging his way out, he suddenly took a deep breath and looked back into the darkness behind him. "Even though it might not mean anything, I still want to say I'm sorry to you. "I've always regretted saying 'I like Miss Sevi' just to trick you into trusting me. In the end, it only demeaned you and insulted the Sword Princess. Maybe you won't believe me, but from that moment on, I've seen you and the Sword Princess as two separate people. "You aren't anyone's shadow, nor are you anyone's substitute. You are Niya Sevi, who valiantly slew a Golden Fish in Canaan City to save me, fought shoulder to shoulder with me cutting through three streets, has a dashing cross-shaped scar on her face, wears socks she doesn't change for days, and is full of violent beauty. "When I flew over to save you just now, it was solely because you are Niya Sevi—for no other reason." Having said it, Yaxiu felt a bit lighter. He continued, "Since you hate me, I won't pursue you anymore, let alone appear in your sight. I know you'll doubt my motives, but I truly hope you cherish yourself. You deserve happiness." There was no reply in the darkness. Niya seemed to have closed herself off, unwilling to listen to any more of Yaxiu's nonsense. Yaxiu sighed, reaching out to cautiously clear away the rubble while keeping careful track of the movement above, digging outward bit by bit without disturbing Niya's corner. *Clack.* When Yaxiu shifted a stone, a thin beam of light coincidentally pierced through layer upon layer of obstructions, illuminating dust dancing wildly in the light. The voices of the Six Nations Legion suddenly grew distinct; though they still sounded some distance away, if he kept digging, combat might break out at any moment. Just as Yaxiu was about to dig outward, he suddenly felt something snagging the back of his clothes, preventing him from moving forward. Could it be exposed rebar or some sharp spike? Yaxiu looked back and froze. Under the faint beam of light, he saw Niya crouching in the corner with her arms around her legs, like a curled-up little hedgehog. Her gaze was fixed blankly on the ground, but her right hand reached out, her thumb, index, and middle finger tightly clutching the hem of his shirt. Yaxiu tugged lightly, but even as the cloth threatened to rip, she refused to let go. The light happened to fall upon her fingers, allowing Yaxiu to see just how tightly she held on. Stunned by the sight, he asked cautiously: "You don't want me to go?" In the dim light, Yaxiu saw Niya turn her head slightly to glance at him before turning back to stare at the ground. Her mouth opened as if she wanted to say something, but not a single word came out. Her right hand only gripped Yaxiu's hem tighter—unyielding and desperate. Yaxiu slowly backed up and sat beside her. Throughout the entire process, Niya neither spoke nor moved. Though there was no real connection, Yaxiu couldn't help thinking of the image of a little hedgehog exposing its belly. Even now, Niya still gripped the corner of his clothes with all her might, refusing to let go.