I'll Always Be Your Trouble

"Block the Hell secret poison?!" Although Yaxiu's shift in topic was as stiff as turning a vise, the information instantly seized Igola's undivided attention. "What do you mean?" "Even back in reality, I have a way to block the effects of the Hell secret poison. It won't grow void wings, let alone trigger the promotion ceremony." Not keeping him in suspense, Yaxiu made a diary materialize in his hands. "The Secret Poison Diary," he explained. "As long as you write a secret poison inside, the holder becomes immune to all its effects." After contracting the Hell secret poison, Yaxiu had immediately remembered the Secret Poison Diary. After all, unlike ordinary authors, Yaxiu was fairly diligent about updating; he opened the diary almost every day to chronicle his adventures. Yaxiu rarely used the diary's true function simply because the secret poisons he had contracted were extraordinarily useful and didn't need blocking at all. Currently, the only blocked secret poison was Vortex, which caused an aversion to water. Once he briefly explained how the Secret Poison Diary worked, Igola's immediate reaction was, "Do you have any extras?" "No, only this one in my hand," Yaxiu replied. "While it's not entirely impossible to get more, we practically can't count on it." Sonia and Diya had looked into it as well; no sorcery spirit resembling the Secret Poison Diary existed in this world, making *Aurora's Sorcerer Handbook* likely the sole source. But Yaxiu hadn't pulled another one since, despite countless draws, so he didn't hold much hope. Igola breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, at least you can escape the threat of the Hell secret poison." "I don't intend to write the Hell secret poison into it." The Deceiver froze, almost doubting his own ears. "What did you say?" "If you two are going to seek refuge under a Divine Lord to survive the promotion ceremony, I'll go along with you," Yaxiu said. "In that case, there's no need for me to block the Hell secret poison. When the time comes, all three of us can become demigod angels together." "Harvey has a death wish, and now you have one too?" Igola kicked violently at the water's surface, sending up a splash. "You don't need to get involved in the Divine Lords' contest at all!" "Do you think I could comfortably stay in a safe place, watching the two of you fight to the death against other demons?" Yaxiu leaned back languidly in his wheelchair. "I'm not someone who deludes myself. You're welcome to try deceiving me, Deceiver." Igola took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "So you're just going to discard a resource like the Secret Poison Diary? If you won't use it yourself, do you plan on giving it to Weixi?" "If we make it back to reality, I'll hand the diary over to the Sword Princess," Yaxiu said with clear reasoning. "I'll tell her about the Hell secret poison and have her write it into the diary. Once we ascend to demigods, the Sword Princess and the Witch can step into the divine realm later on after they're fully prepared. That way, we'll still have a chance to reunite sooner or later. "Or, if the Divine Lord we turn to allows us to defer claiming our reward, I can linger in the mortal realm until the Sword Princess and the Witch are fully prepared, and we can all ascend to demigods together." Yaxiu paused. "That way, it'll only be natural not to invite Harvey to the wedding." Igola looked at him, then suddenly asked, "What if we don't seek refuge with either side? What if we just stay put until the Angel Hunt ends and face the promotion ceremony alone?" Yaxiu blinked. "Oh right, what do we do then?" He scratched his head. "I mean, you two would be dead meat, but the Sword Princess and the Witch are still waiting for me, so..." Seeing Yaxiu's troubled look, Igola snorted, his shoulders trembling slightly before he burst into hearty laughter. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. "You could try fighting for the Prime Angel's power during the Angel Hunt. If you become the Supreme, our promotion ceremonies will naturally be child's play for you." Yaxiu stared blankly at him, then clapped his hands together. "Hey, that's not impossible." "I have great faith in you, big brother in the wheelchair," Igola laughed. "All right, jokes aside. We don't actually need to decide right now whether to turn to any faction. The later we wait, the more valuable we become, and the more we'll gain by joining. "What's more, our chances of seizing the Prime Angel's power aren't zero. Compared to any other faction, we have the most sorcerers, which is enough to offset Feili's disadvantage as a demon. If we hold out until the very end, we might truly end up as the biggest winners." Yaxiu remarked, "Isn't that a bit... too greedy?" "I'm a deceiver who craves grand spectacles and momentous events. Nothing gets my blood pumping more than plundering a Divine Lord's treasure." Igola pulled his wet feet from the water, stood up, and said, "This time it won't be you, but me actively stepping into the dangerous vortex. "Coming along?" "If Harvey doesn't object, neither do I," Yaxiu smiled. "Though the happiest person will probably be Weixi." Igola asked, "Speaking of which, even if we were to join either faction, Weixi made it clear she adamantly refuses to become an angel. What happens then?" Yaxiu curled his lip. "Then she can just die. Why bother worrying about her?" Igola glanced at him and shook his head. "By the way, someone reads your Secret Poison Diary, right?" "Yeah." Yaxiu nodded. His Secret Poison Diary had already reached 500 reads, automatically advancing to two wings and gaining an extra secret poison slot; the next advancement required 5,000 reads. "Then if you write the Hell secret poison in it, won't your readers see it too?" Igola pointed out. "That's more terrifying than a plague. Anyone who reads your diary will rapidly sprout void wings and get crushed to death by Hell. In a few decades, your diary will definitely become a banned book on par with the ten great disasters of the Void Realm." "That's another reason I didn't really want to write it," Yaxiu sighed. "Even if forced by circumstance, I don't want to kill strangers I've never even met." "Actually, I suspect you can't write it in at all," Igola said. "The description of the Hell secret poison mentioned that it cannot be recorded by a 'non-sorcerer.' A diary is clearly a non-sorcerer." Yaxiu froze. "Not even a book?" "If the Hell secret poison could be recorded in books, a few tens of thousands of flyers could wipe out every sorcerer in an entire nation." Igola gave him a look that asked if he was an idiot. "Hurry up and test if you can write it down. If you can't, we'll need to adjust our plans." "Oh, right." Yaxiu flipped the diary to the second to last page and neatly inscribed the details of the Hell secret poison. "By the way, can you erase writing in the diary?" "No... wait, what?" Yaxiu caught on immediately and stared at Igola in shock. "Did you set me up?!" "Looks like I really have a gift for early childhood education." The corners of Igola's mouth curled up. "And... my guess wasn't wrong." Yaxiu looked down and saw the contents of the Hell secret poison quickly fading from the paper. The Hell secret poison could not be recorded by non-sorcerers, which included all inanimate objects. "Looks like your plan to ascend alongside the Sword Princess and the Witch just fell through," Igola chuckled. Without being able to block the Hell secret poison, Yaxiu would trigger his promotion ceremony shortly after returning to reality, making it impossible to step into the divine realm together with them. "The wedding and honeymoon are gone too..." Yaxiu wailed, crestfallen. "There won't be time for a honeymoon, but you should still have time for a wedding, shouldn't you?" Igola pulled on his socks and boots. "I'm still looking forward to the shining moment where, as best man, I steal all your thunder." "Did you forget that the Sword Princess and I haven't even had our first date yet?" Yaxiu retorted crossly. "The wedding I was talking about was supposed to come naturally after spending years together!" "Still, I'm really looking forward to your wedding." "Thanks." "That way, you, a walking vortex of disaster, will legally and legitimately become someone else's problem, and you won't drag me down anymore." "Don't be silly, Igola," Yaxiu laughed. "I will always be your trouble." Igola pushed Yaxiu's wheelchair back into the first-floor hall. By now, Rose had already replaced the glass coffee table with a new one and even prepared a fresh fruit platter. Seeing Feili still nibbling on melon, Yaxiu felt a sudden craving, but the cantaloupe slices were all in front of her. "Feili, I want some cantaloupe too." Feili blinked. After a brief internal struggle showed on her small face, she held the cantaloupe she had already taken a few bites of up to Yaxiu's mouth. On the other side, Igola sat back down in his seat, let out a long breath, and said to Harvey, "You might not care, but I still owe you an apology." "No, I've actually been waiting for your apology for a very long time." Harvey's answer caught everyone off guard. "Regarding your insult scorning Häagen-Dazs as a mere 'cultural symbol,' I forgive you." Igola sat stunned for a good while before speaking slowly, "Wasn't that half a year ago?" "I assumed you were apologizing in chronological order," Harvey said. "You have made improper remarks regarding the undead, Häagen-Dazs, and corpses a total of fifty-six times. You still owe me fifty-five apologies. By the way, Yaxiu, your count is seventy-three." "How is that possible?! I'm even less respectful than Igola?!" The melon-eating Yaxiu was dumbfounded. "Every time you insult them, I make a stroke on Alice. There's no mistake," Harvey said. "I've also kept track of your actions in the Nation of Stars; I'll add them once we return to reality." "Harvey." Even Igola was left speechless by the necromancer. "I was apologizing for getting you infected with the Hell secret poison." "Why apologize? That secret poison is pretty great—it grows void wings." "But you have to face the promotion ceremony." "Don't you two have to as well?" Harvey said. "What is there to worry about?" Igola froze. Yaxiu blinked. Only Feili nodded in deep agreement. Weixi couldn't help bursting into laughter, hugging Rose beside her as she chuckled heartily. "The three of you are the strangest sorcerers I've ever seen! In three thousand years, there has never been a stranger bunch!" Yaxiu set down the melon rind, wiped his mouth with a napkin, and said, "Speaking of which, it's time for the most important segment of the day." Weixi wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes and turned toward him. "The roasting segment?" "The dividing of the spoils segment." Yaxiu produced the golden scale. "Weixi, your trial period for the Seventh Imaginary Wing has expired." The smile on Weixi's face vanished.